To go or not to go?

misskris816

misskris816

Well-Known Member
I would appreciate your opinions, ladies.

Here's the quick version. Earlier this week, a guy that I've flirted with for a while asked me to lunch for tomorrow afternoon. I accepted.

After not hearing from him today, I sent him a text this evening asking him what time he wanted to meet for lunch. Well, I've yet to get a response. (I realize that I could pick up the phone, yes.)

Anywho, this time around in the dating game, I'm going to be more selective with who and how I spend my time. I'm sure he'll contact me tomorrow AM but at this point, I feel like it's already too late. If he respected my time and was genuinely interested, he would have firmed up a concrete time.

Am I overreacting? Or should I just say "screw it" and go to lunch anyway? What would you do?
 
I say dont go but be open to reschedule.

Simply say that once you didnt hear from him you make other plans but if he would like to set another date he needs to give you a TIME AND DATE to make the necessary arrangements.
 
I say don't go, and don't reschedule. If you're that forgettable, then forget him.

I don't know if you listen to country music, but Reba McEntire has the right idea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-d7vAbKTmus

Well back in 1876 an ol' boy named Bell
Invented a contraption that we know so well
By the 1950's they're in everybodys home
It's a crazy little thing they call a telephone
Now there's one in every corner,in the back of every bar
You can get one in your briefcase,on a plane or in your car

Chorus:
So tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
Tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
I said now darlin',honey,what is your excuse
Why haven't I heard from you

Well there's no problem gettin to me baby you can dial direct
I got call forward and call waitin' you can even call collect
the service man he told me that my phone was workin' fine
And I have come to the conclusion trouble isn't with my line
I'm sure the operator will be glad to put you through
So dial zero for assisstance if this all confuses you

Chorus:
So tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
Tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
I said now darlin',honey,what is your excuse
Why haven't I heard from you

There'd better be a flood
A landslide of mud
A fire that burns up the wires
And thunder so loud with black funnel cloud
A natural disaster I know nothin about

Chorus:
Tell my why,haven't I,heard from you
Tell me why,haven't I,heard from you,yeah
I said now darlin',honey,what is your excuse
Why haven't I heard from you

Chorus:
Tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
Tell me why,haven't I,heard from you
I said now darlin',honey,what is your excuse
Why haven't I heard from you,you,you,you,you,you,you,you,you,you,you.
 
That's a major strike out in my book & telling about how important you are to him if he didnt contact you to reschedule or at least explain himself. It's a terrible first impression & I've learned giving guys like that second chances usually opens you up to accept less than you deserve when he already showed what kind of person he is.
 
Hummmm.....

If he invited you to lunch for the following day, why would you text him? I wouldn't have text him period.

Since he initiated by asking you, I would have left it up to him. Since you didn't hear from him prior to sending the text, I wouldn't have given it a second thought because he pursued you, feel me.

But now you've sent the text and you haven't heard anything. This time around, I would reschedule the lunch on your time, not his, for the following Saturday.

No love lost. Its only lunch. But between now and next Saturday, I wouldn't initiate anymore calls or texts. Let him pursue you.
 
You said he asked you out after you had flirted with him for some time. So in a way you were the pursuer and made it really easy for him and he is now being disrespectful. I like the idea of cancelling, possibly rescheduling, then see what happens. Fall way back. I have a feeling he will let the entire week pass again without calling or firming anything up. Then you will have your confirmation that he's not that into you. Of course if that happens I would not go out with him and I would not be flirting with him any more either. I'm sorry things aren't working out as you hoped but don't settle.
 
Thanks for the reply ladies.
I felt that the flirting had been mutual. He would always stop by my desk (sometimes hanging around longer than needed) and seemed a bit more interested than what I was showing. But, it seems like a game of cat and mouse...a game that I've played too many times in the past.

After sleeping on it, I kind of wish I hadn't text him in the first place. IF he calls, I won't be going and there won't be a chance to reschedule. Nothing good ever started this way.
 
misskris816 said:
Thanks for the reply ladies.
I felt that the flirting had been mutual. He would always stop by my desk (sometimes hanging around longer than needed) and seemed a bit more interested than what I was showing. But, it seems like a game of cat and mouse...a game that I've played too many times in the past.

After sleeping on it, I kind of wish I hadn't text him in the first place. IF he calls, I won't be going and there won't be a chance to reschedule. Nothing good ever started this way.
Click to expand...

Congrats on your decision. It seems you made a good one!

Sent from my DROIDX using DROIDX
 
Way to go OP! And no regrets for texting. You assumed like most that he'd text back right away. Who knew he'd be so lazy and nonchalant after flirting, showing interest, and asking you out. You see the writing on the wall and have chosen not to play. Good for you!

And the next time you see him, be your normally sweet, friendly self, minus any flirting. Treat him like any other employee in the building.
 
Last edited:
He asked you earlier in the week out for lunch on Saturday (I'm assuming it was set for Saturday/today because of the time you started the thread) and he hasn't replied to the text you sent yesterday (Friday)? I wouldn't go and would stop flirting with him.

I think that maybe because you two are coworkers, he may be having second thoughts but doesn't know how to tell you. It may not be so much as him NOT being into you, just he could be rethinking everything but didn't have the courage to speak up. I would let his silence be your answer and as Hopeful posted, be cordial to him on Monday minus the flirting. I think he should have told you his change of heart instead of ignoring you/standing you up. I'd be done and would keep it professional going forward.
 
As suspected, he sent a text at 10:34 AM.
"Hi gorgeous. Today is not going so well...dealing with some drama. We'll have to try and get together another time. :( I hope you have a lovely day."

It just reeks of BS. I almost responded with "No worries, I expected this so I'd already made alternative plans" or something to that effect but I haven't sent a response. I know I probably shouldn't either but my inner b**ch is tempted.
 
Last edited:
misskris816 said:
As suspected, he sent a text at 10:34 AM.
"Hi gorgeous. Today is not going so well...dealing with some drama. We'll have to try and get together another time. :( I hope you have a lovely day."

It just reeks of BS. I almost responded with "No worries, I expected this so I'd already made alternative plans" or something to that effect but I haven't sent a response. I know I probably shouldn't either but my inner b**ch is tempted.
Click to expand...

I really hope you did not send him a response. He's a douche and fickle. You do not want this. But, also, do not give him the satisfaction of even knowing what's on your mind. You will feed his ego by texting him back, "I expected this...".

I wouldn't respond at all if I were you. Then, I'd keep it professional at work, pretend as if there is no attraction there and be sweet as pie.

His loss.
 
I didn't want to put a damper on your thread initially but I just knew that ninja was going to pull that mess today. Girl, I would go in on Monday looking fly and refreshed as hell, super breezy. Be courteous with him, smile, show him everything is all good in your world. One monkey don't stop no show.
 
misskris816 said:
As suspected, he sent a text at 10:34 AM.
"Hi gorgeous. Today is not going so well...dealing with some drama. We'll have to try and get together another time. :( I hope you have a lovely day."

It just reeks of BS. I almost responded with "No worries, I expected this so I'd already made alternative plans" or something to that effect but I haven't sent a response. I know I probably shouldn't either but my inner b**ch is tempted.
Click to expand...
Did you end up replying anyhow? :look: Yes, it would be tempting not to but I wouldn't even dignify him with a response. Just keep it moving and just continue being professional at work. Sorry it didn't work out for you...that is, if you were really into him. If not, NEXT!
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
I didn't want to put a damper on your thread initially but I just knew that ninja was going to pull that mess today. Girl, I would go in on Monday looking fly and refreshed as hell, super breezy. Be courteous with him, smile, show him everything is all good in your world. One monkey don't stop no show.
Click to expand...

My moma says that often. She's the only that I've heard say that....besides you! LOL!!


Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
And for those that take what I say so literally, no, I don't think he really its a monkey or a ninja.
Click to expand...

We know you don't mean any harm.... :yep:

Good advice in this thread! I agree with the majority. I wouldn't respond to his foolishness. And if he is already admitting to drama in his life, then that's not a good sign.
 
These men are predictable, aren't they? **shaking my head**

Luckily we don't work in the same department or even on the same floor. We seem to randomly run into each other on occasion.

I didn't end up sending him a response and I'm glad I didn't make a rash decision.

There will not be "another time". :)
 
misskris816 said:
These men are predictable, aren't they? **shaking my head**

Luckily we don't work in the same department or even on the same floor. We seem to randomly run into each other on occasion.

I didn't end up sending him a response and I'm glad I didn't make a rash decision.

There will not be "another time". :)
Click to expand...

Good for you. His loss

Isn't this a great place to get advice. Saves you a lot of worries in the end.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier
 
Good for you misskris816. Now remember when you see him, continue to be flirty and sweet, knowing full well he ain't going to smell the cookies! Haha! His lost!
 
could he have possibly actually had something come up and had to handle it?
 
Last edited:
NOEChic said:
could he have possibly actually had something come up and had to handle it?
Click to expand...

Even IF he did... TEXTING her on the DAY they were supposed to go out, after not saying anything about it for the whole week AND not replying to her text the night before is just disrespectful. :nono:

I think he wasn't really serious about going out. He just liked flirting with her and just made the suggestion but didn't really think it was gonna happen.
 
Sheena284 said:
Even IF he did... TEXTING her on the DAY they were supposed to go out, after not saying anything about it for the whole week AND not replying to her text the night before is just disrespectful. :nono:

I think he wasn't really serious about going out. He just liked flirting with her and just made the suggestion but didn't really think it was gonna happen.
Click to expand...

who says they didnt talk at work after he asked her out?

maybe he was dealing with the drama yesterday as well. y'all (not you) want a woman with the signs that her man is gay to ask him why he gay, but don't want this chick to say hey why you didnt contact me and then move on from there.
 
NOEChic said:
a chance is a chance.
Click to expand...

I hear what you are saying but for me if a guy I have not started dating yet pulls this mess what really does he have to explain? What he did and how he treated her is not the way to establish anything solid. I guess if it makes you feel better you can allow for an expansion but I wouldn't move forward beyond that. Realistically though his explanation would be bs. He effed up his one chance to make a good impression which shows he's just not into her so why bother wasting time?
 
NOEChic said:
a chance is a chance.
Click to expand...

I used to think like that too and it NEVER worked out well. IF a man is into you like that, he'll be sure to confirm any plans WAY ahead of time. Also, his text was extremely vague; if he really had something going on, he would've been a little more specific and made a date to reschedule, not just say another time. It's BS and what good would an explanation do? He already said it was a bad day, he didn't say anything prior to that, at least not that the OP mentioned, so it's a moot point as to whatever the supposed drama is. It's just BS, that's all.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

S
Let go or not
Replies
12
Views
584
hopeful
hopeful
janiebaby
Need to Break A Date....
Replies
10
Views
231
janiebaby
janiebaby
SimpleKomplexity
Go back to friends?!
2
Replies
31
Views
663
jada1111
J
D
"I REALLY ENJOYED THE VIEW" said the friend to the boyfriend
Replies
17
Views
454
Farida
Farida
I
How to say no to a trick question
2
Replies
30
Views
563
inthepink
I
Back
Top