To Call or Not To Call?

[TinyBlu]

I have a new dilemma (surprise!). Last year I kept running into a guy (well, he kept coming around when he knew I would be around) and in November of last year, he indicated that he wanted my number. At the time, I was seeing someone, so I never entertained it.

The "relationship" I was in last year ended in December, so I thought it would be a good time to re-visit the possibility of going out with this gentleman. It doesn't help that this man's much older, married, white co-worker makes it a point to put in a goodword for him every time he sees me.

Last week, I made it a point to be where I knew he would be, and we struck up a conversation. Like our others, there still seemed to be the "I am interested" vibe in the air, and at the end of our brief conversation, he gave me his number. He didn't come out and ask me for mine in return. I basically said "Well, here's mine since you gave me yours..."

Since he gave me his number, does he expect me to call him? I grew up old school, so I really don't think it's appropriate for a female to call a male the first time . That seems a little forward to me, and I feel like if he is truly interested, he will call me. Is that too old fashioned, or am I just not hip to the game?

 

[Mai Tai]

I have a new dilemma (surprise!). Last year I kept running into a guy (well, he kept coming around when he knew I would be around) and in November of last year, he indicated that he wanted my number. At the time, I was seeing someone, so I never entertained it.

The "relationship" I was in last year ended in December, so I thought it would be a good time to re-visit the possibility of going out with this gentleman. It doesn't help that this man's much older, married, white co-worker makes it a point to put in a goodword for him every time he sees me.

Last week, I made it a point to be where I knew he would be, and we struck up a conversation. Like our others, there still seemed to be the "I am interested" vibe in the air, and at the end of our brief conversation, he gave me his number. He didn't come out and ask me for mine in return. I basically said "Well, here's mine since you gave me yours..."

Since he gave me his number, does he expect me to call him? I grew up old school, so I really don't think it's appropriate for a female to call a male the first time . That seems a little forward to me, and I feel like if he is truly interested, he will call me. Is that too old fashioned, or am I just not hip to the game?

You said it right..If he is interested he will call. He knows how to reach you and yes...he should make the first move. Good Luck

 

[weaveadiva]

Is that too old fashioned, or am I just not hip to the game?

yes, it is old-fashioned
yes, i agree with it
if he wants to talk, he'll call

 

[Bunny77]

It might be old-fashioned, but it's what I prefer.

And if you prefer it too, then that's the standard you should set.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

I agree with the sentiments of the other ladies above (no surprise there... ). If he's REALLY interested in you, he will at the very least text you.

It really does make a difference when the man is being the "pursuer". Trust me on this. It's a completely different feeling.

You say you keep "running into" him, and that his co-worker speaks highly of him. Tell me, do you two work together? How are you two able to "run into" each other all the time? Because sometimes the environment in which you meet someone may give more insight to the situation.

Anyway, now that he has your number why don't you wait a little while and see if he calls you? When he's ready, I think he'll make a move...especially if when you see him you keep giving him good interested "vibes".

I think men take numbers from a lot of women that they are attracted to, but unless they are ready to make a move themselves...they won't call. It has been MY personal experience that when a man is interested AND available and ready for a relationship w/ME...HE will be the one to ask me for MYnumber. The fact that he gave you his number first instead gives me the impression that he's either:
1) Not THAT interested
2) Interested but talking/dating someone else already
3) Afraid that you're out of his league somehow

Usually it's the first two though. No man who has been really into me and free and has his act together has given me HIS number instead of asking for mine and is willing to just leave things up to chance with the *hopes* that I will call him. No way.....

 

[TinyBlu]

I agree with the sentiments of the other ladies above (no surprise there... ). If he's REALLY interested in you, he will at the very least text you.

It really does make a difference when the man is being the "pursuer". Trust me on this. It's a completely different feeling.

You say you keep "running into" him, and that his co-worker speaks highly of him. Tell me, do you two work together? How are you two able to "run into" each other all the time? Because sometimes the environment in which you meet someone may give more insight to the situation.

I am in sales and I call on an office close to his. The funny thing is, he's not my client, but he always seems to find a way to show up in the office I visit. His co-worker keeps clowning him about it.

Anyway, now that he has your number why don't you wait a little while and see if he calls you? When he's ready, I think he'll make a move...especially if when you see him you keep giving him good interested "vibes".

I think men take numbers from a lot of women that they are attracted to, but unless they are ready to make a move themselves...they won't call. It has been MY personal experience that when a man is interested AND available and ready for a relationship w/ME...HE will be the one to ask me for MYnumber. The fact that he gave you his number first instead gives me the impression that he's either:
1) Not THAT interested
2) Interested but talking/dating someone else already
3) Afraid that you're out of his league somehow

I thought about everything you said except the last one. I can almost guarantee, I am NOT out of his league.

Usually it's the first two though. No man who has been really into me and free and has his act together has given me HIS number instead of asking for mine and is willing to just leave things up to chance with the *hopes* that I will call him. No way.....

See responses above.

 

[TinyBlu]

ITA with all of the other responses. The more I thought about it, the more I came to the conclusion that if he was truly interested and unattached, he would call on his own.

Besides, my break up is still kinda new. I think I was just excited to have someone pay attention to me after being DUMPED. I'm gonna just do me for a while longer (much to my unexpected dismay), and take the time to get over my last relationship before jumping into something else.

Truth... I am tired of being single...

 

[hopeful]

Hang in there TinyBlu. He has your number and he may call, it hasn't been that long. There are more men out there to be met, stay positive and continue to socialize and meet new people.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hang in there Tiny!

I understand...I completely understand. I got a little "carried away" myself with attention from men after I went through a breakup, but realized that a lot of these men just liked what they saw, and weren't either serious about me, or weren't AVAILABLE.

So, bottom line....

It seems like he's definitely attracted to you.
But whether he's actually available to pursue you is a different story. He might be free and interested in you, but right now his actions aren't where they need to be if he wants to pursue you. I think he might have a gf or someone else he's seeing at the moment.

If he doesn't like you enough to dump his other chick then you don't need to worry about him.

Believe me, if a man wants you hard enough, he WILL pursue eventually. EVEN if he thinks deep down you're too good for him.

 

[ThatJerseyGirl]

nevermind.

 

[mscocoface]

There is NOTHING wrong with being old fashion. Sometimes it cuts down on a lot of the drama.

If he is interested he will call, if he doesn't call then you will know.