To Be Content Alone

[PaperClip]

Yes. It's part of what makes us male and female. It's hormonal.

Women who have chosen on their own still enjoy the pleasure of appreciating a good looking man. You really have to ask one of the sisters who've made that decision or have come into agreement with the Lord if He's decided it's not going to be fulfilling enough for them.

I have raised my kids and DO NOT WANT ANYMORE!!! I still get the, "I want to have a baby!!" urge and melt when I hold my grandson. I don't want to lose it, it's fun AND it passes but I make that nut go sit in a corner someplace and get out of my face

Per the bolded: I need your help to understand what you're saying here....

 

[Ms.Honey]

Per the bolded: I need your help to understand what you're saying here....

We need to talk on the phone, sending a pm.

 

[discobiscuits]

1star: I understand what you're saying.... We have free will.... in our free will, we can choose to marry. I have heard/thought about it this way (as with anything): if we ask the Lord for an answer to do/not do/have/not have something, He will answer/give direction but He won't force us to follow His direction because then that's not free will.

So a sidebar question would be this: say a person chooses to marry and they marry someone they sincerely thought/believed it was the Lord's divine will that they should marry this person (not whether or not they should marry at all, but if they should marry this particular person), and the marriage sours: is it because the person should not have married AT ALL (disobedience) or if they married a person outside the will of God/the wrong person?

Well, as usual just my opinion based on what I've read or have been taught:

Marriage is a choice no matter what (un/saved, with/out asking Him). There is no disobedience wrt marriage since He would not tell someone not to marry. If anything He would tell someone that his/her choice of mate is bad/good and, I would imagine, if the person is saved He would tell him/her such, whether s/he asked Him or not (through the HS and/or his/her natural authority).

Of course I have not read the whole bible but so far I have not read where marriage is a blessing (I know it says that children are) or that women are forbidden to position themselves to be found or even that God blesses unions. (Plz provide me w/ references if you have them tia). The verse about "who can find...." does not exclude women from looking either imo (I know u & MsH will not agree LOL).

I don't think that God restricts anyone from marrying so there is no disobedience there. Eunichs don't exist anymore and were for protecting the concubines or something.

I've been typing this on my BB for like 2 hrs & I know it is messed up.

 

[discobiscuits]

oh FS btw I have chosen not to marry (subject to change if I decide not to be so selfish) & I am celebate/abstinate (sp). I have urges too but that is natural & they do go away. This may be tmi (but if it helps) my urges are usually hormonal during my cyclic fertile time before my period and (for me) in the spring time.

 

[PaperClip]

Well, as usual just my opinion based on what I've read or have been taught:

Marriage is a choice no matter what (un/saved, with/out asking Him). There is no disobedience wrt marriage since He would not tell someone not to marry. If anything He would tell someone that his/her choice of mate is bad/good and, I would imagine, if the person is saved He would tell him/her such, whether s/he asked Him or not (through the HS and/or his/her natural authority).

Of course I have not read the whole bible but so far I have not read where marriage is a blessing (I know it says that children are) or that women are forbidden to position themselves to be found or even that God blesses unions. (Plz provide me w/ references if you have them tia). The verse about "who can find...." does not exclude women from looking either imo (I know u & MsH will not agree LOL).

I don't think that God restricts anyone from marrying so there is no disobedience there. Eunichs don't exist anymore and were for protecting the concubines or something.

I've been typing this on my BB for like 2 hrs & I know it is messed up.

I understand what you're saying here....

Per the bolded: Hebrews 13:4 may be a justifiable reference:

KJV: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Amplified: Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.

The Message: Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex.

 

[Irresistible]

This thread took all kind of turns , since I last saw it

I gotta bow out now because umm I fell hard in the area being discussed now

 

[Irresistible]

I personally don't believe in monogamy before premarital class and engagement. Do you know that most men don't make that move until they see that someone else has an interest in you? If you are committed to him and he knows you want to be married then......... He can drag that thing on for decades. But let a man know that you WILL be seeing other men. They'll propose within 6 months, THAT'S if you're keeping your legs closed and your hands and mouth(we're all grown right?) to ourselves.

omg @ the bolded, THIS is what came into my spirit to do about my situation, to tell him 'NO MORE' and then tell him I want to see others 'without that being involved'

I had the feeling like you said it was the only way

but I figure either he will get on one knee or go ape boo boo nuts on meerplexed, or can I really do it? and would it not drive me nuts?

But I am also torn , he is willing to get married NOW, its me that keeps pushing it back, because I dont want us to get married just to 'relieve my spiritual anguish and anxieties' about this, he does not feel like I do about Marriage, he feels he is LOVING me and married to me already in his heart, well let me rephrase that, I feel that way too, but he doesnt have the mixed messages and anguish like I do



Ladies I have an even deeper question, is it going to the court house that makes it an honorable union in the Lord's eyes, I mean we almost did that a million times, how does a piece of paper make it all right, in the days of old didnt they just have a 'ceremony' or celebration and take their vows before the LORD, can you take those vows without the piece of paper?

I am asking this seriously because I have been torn over this so long, and I went with 'the vows in our hearts' not the piece of paper thing and now I am here and I just , well need help to understand

Is marriage or the two becoming one, a piece of paper, or vows in ones heart taken before the LORD in LOVE and HONOR and TRUTH?

Should I just let him take me to vegas or the court house and get the paper then do the 'celebration' ceromony with close friends and family

I mean will that piece of paper really make this whole thing more righteous? will that give me peace and assure me that I am relieved of sin?

I am asking this so seriously because this is all the confusion that got me where I AM now

 

[Ms.Honey]

omg @ the bolded, THIS is what came into my spirit to do about my situation, to tell him 'NO MORE' and then tell him I want to see others 'without that being involved'

I had the feeling like you said it was the only way

but I figure either he will get on one knee or go ape boo boo nuts on meerplexed, or can I really do it? and would it not drive me nuts?

But I am also torn , he is willing to get married NOW, its me that keeps pushing it back, because I dont want us to get married just to 'relieve my spiritual anguish and anxieties' about this, he does not feel like I do about Marriage, he feels he is LOVING me and married to me already in his heart, well let me rephrase that, I feel that way too, but he doesnt have the mixed messages and anguish like I do



Ladies I have an even deeper question, is it going to the court house that makes it an honorable union in the Lord's eyes, I mean we almost did that a million times, how does a piece of paper make it all right, in the days of old didnt they just have a 'ceremony' or celebration and take their vows before the LORD, can you take those vows without the piece of paper?

I am asking this seriously because I have been torn over this so long, and I went with 'the vows in our hearts' not the piece of paper thing and now I am here and I just , well need help to understand

Is marriage or the two becoming one, a piece of paper, or vows in ones heart taken before the LORD in LOVE and HONOR and TRUTH?

Should I just let him take me to vegas or the court house and get the paper then do the 'celebration' ceromony with close friends and family

I mean will that piece of paper really make this whole thing more righteous? will that give me peace and assure me that I am relieved of sin?

I am asking this so seriously because this is all the confusion that got me where I AM now

The two become one flesh during sex, it doesn't have to be married sex. That is why God says to wait until marriage to become chemically bound to another. The ending of the relationship causes a "ripping" or "tearing" apart and causes pain.

Your doubt may very well be a warning from the Lord Iris. Wait on the Lord and take the premarital class at one of your churches and stop being alone with him. You can not control yourselves. The devil has entered into your relationship and it is going to be hard as heck to get him out of it because it's ungodly.

ETA:The pain, tearing, ripping is the tearing asunder that the Lord talks about.

 

[Irresistible]

The two become one flesh during sex, it doesn't have to be married sex. That is why God says to wait until marriage to become chemically bound to another. The ending of the relationship causes a "ripping" or "tearing" apart and causes pain.

Your doubt may very well be a warning from the Lord Iris. Wait on the Lord and take the premarital class at one of your churches and stop being alone with him. You can not control yourselves. The devil has entered into your relationship and it is going to be hard as heck to get him out of it because it's ungodly.

ETA:The pain, tearing, ripping is the tearing asunder that the Lord talks about.

Yes I do understand that , the sexual act is 'spiritual' marriage and the two becoming one, thats what confuses me even more that a piece of paper is needed.......you get what I am saying?


Weird indeed he literally called right when I was making that post, and he is playing in church on Sunday , so we eased into to many subjects from there, including this, I told him of the anguish I go through and he said 'I know' I was crying and just telling him how I feel, he said you have to pray on it, but we can go get married this weekend.

sorry for all the questions, I know my answer already, sigh, Ive already begun the process, SEEKING THE LORD ON ALL OF THIS, until I get my answer from him and him alone

 

[discobiscuits]

omg @ the bolded, THIS is what came into my spirit to do about my situation, to tell him 'NO MORE' and then tell him I want to see others 'without that being involved' I had the feeling like you said it was the only way
...
but I figure either he will get on one knee or go ape boo boo nuts on meerplexed, or can I really do it? and would it not drive me nuts?

This reads as if you are trying to play games or manipulate him into doing what you want (we all can discuss your specific situation in greater detail in the thread that you started on it).

Ladies I have an even deeper question,

is it going to the court house that makes it an honorable union in the Lord's eyes,

No, it does not (imo). However, "common law" unions are frowned upon as to most major religions, a couple must have a ceremony and recite some words in front of witnesses and their respective god to make it "real" or honored by their god.

By the same token, the ceremony is a natural representation (not really the word I want to use but I can't think of the one that fits) of a spiritual union. To me a marriage ceremony is like the laws God gave man - it is something man requires/asked for/wants/needs, not a requirement of God. He just requires sexual morality and honoring marriage (the spiritual and sexual/physical union of one man and one woman). Even a divorce is not "really" honored by God - divorce is what man asked for so Moses agreed to let them do it - God never agreed to it or authorized it.

 

[aribell]

Ok I haven't read through this whole thread but so far some of the responses have been.....interesting to say the least.

I'm of the opinion that if one makes her relationship with God the greatest most important thing in her life, she will walk in ALL of God's blessings/promises for her.

Luke 6 says "seek ye first the kingdom of God and all of these things shall be added unto you"-marriage been one of these things.While most women desire marriage - I say most because not all do-, not all will get married because it might not be God's will for her.

I remember back in University, I was all about God's work and advancing His kingdom here on earth by being actively involved in my church. I was single, very desirable and did not have a boyfriend because I had come to that place in my life where no one gave me satisfaction like He did. Mind you, I had never had a boyfriend before but had tons of male friends (a lot of them eligible christian fine young men), some who asked to marry me.

For some reason, I decided that I would not get married because I liked my life the way it was and I mentioned this to a couple of my girls stating that marriage was not the all in all for women but intimacy with God was. Now they had tried to get me to join them every morning for a prayer session for our prospective mates and marriage in general and I thought they were becoming consumed by it and declined. These girls went on the protective offensive (protective because I was their friend and they wanted me to marry just like they desired for themselves, offensive because I had dared to imply the impossible-that marriage was not the deal breaker in a woman's happiness).

Will I teach my daughter to pray about her prospective mate? Sure. However I will also teach her that if she tunes her life to His spiritual radio waves daily, then she will lack no good thing because all good things come from Him.

Ladies, I believe if praying for marriage has one consumed so much so that one's walk with God is not as it should be, then I'm sorry to say, but that urge that makes one pray so relentlessly like that may be an idol and God will not/cannot move freely in one's life to bring about His perfect will.

Needless to say I got married at 28 (God made me understand that while my service to Him was pleasant in His eyes, He had plans for me to be the wind underneath the sails of a godly man and an example and mentor to our kids). Now I don't always get it right, but God is merciful and faithful and He's an ever present help for me.

I said all this to say that we cannot overemphasize the importance of walking with God and daily mortifying the desires of the flesh regardless of whatever pressure society puts on us in any form. We are first children of God then christian women. Let us not forget that.

I'm so glad to read your perspective, since the Lord has done something similar in me as well. I'm not married yet, but I was all about the "I enjoy my life with the Lord so much that I don't care about getting married." I've never been one to be frustrated over being able to find someone worthwhile to date...my mind has just been elsewhere (heavenwards). But one day the Lord would not let my spirit rest at all until I submitted to His will that I be married.

Again, I'm not yet married, but I am 100% convinced that Paul's "advice" was deeply true, that the single state is a blessed one of unique focus upon the Lord, but that it is the Lord who decides who will and will not have that gift. I do think that it is true what has been said of Paul's advice in Corinithians, that when he encouraged singles not to marry, that he was speaking to a particular generation in the midst of a lot of tribulation and that that situation provides context for his words. However, just because we are not in the same situation that Paul and the early church was in does not mean that marriage will not equally be a snare/distraction to us...and every Christian should weigh that seriously.

Sometimes I think we can get so caught up in praying, "Please Lord, don't make me single," that we really don't take the time to open our hearts and really ask (and really be willing to hear) whether we really could serve Him better (because this is what it's really about) as a single person. As I mentioned, I've had the opportunity to know a lot of nuns and some priests, and other individuals who have felt called to the single life. And I think there is a misconception about it that if you feel called to the single life, then it must be "easy" for you, that you don't feel the weight of that singleness. And that's not true. They feel that sacrifice. It is a daily sacrifice. Paul felt it as well. But none of them would have known that that's where the Lord was calling them unless they had opened themselves up to the possibility of offering the Lord that sacrifice.

In the end, I don't think it's about God giving us what we want so much as it's about properly discerning just where and how He has called us to serve Him and others.

 

[Irresistible]

This reads as if you are trying to play games or manipulate him into doing what you want (we all can discuss your specific situation in greater detail in the thread that you started on it).



No, it does not (imo). However, "common law" unions are frowned upon as to most major religions, a couple must have a ceremony and recite some words in front of witnesses and their respective god to make it "real" or honored by their god.

By the same token, the ceremony is a natural representation (not really the word I want to use but I can't think of the one that fits) of a spiritual union. To me a marriage ceremony is like the laws God gave man - it is something man requires/asked for/wants/needs, not a requirement of God. He just requires sexual morality and honoring marriage (the spiritual and sexual/physical union of one man and one woman). Even a divorce is not "really" honored by God - divorce is what man asked for so Moses agreed to let them do it - God never agreed to it or authorized it.

yeah re; the first paragraph, I didnt feel in the end it would work, the thing is , I have issues, obviously, because I just dont want to feel like he is willing to get married because I have expressed my spiritual issues over it, I want it to 'feel' different, but its like its too late, because I made it an issue, its going to feel like thats why we are going to get married, even though my heart and soul tell me its simply out of his love that he is willing, my mind is like ' I pressured the situation'

I do feel just like you regarding your last paragraph, exactly and I feel very strong about it, so we can go get the piece of paper, but the important part to me is the 'ceremony' of vows taken before the LORD in front of all those that we love as witnesses

Thats what I meant exactly

I also feel if we went to the beach and sat looking into eachother's eyes and made our vows to eachother from our hearts in the sight of the LORD

that to me would be 'joining in holy matrimony' , if that union is blessed of the LORD and chosen of course, the piece of paper can come later

 

[Ms.Honey]

Yes I do understand that , the sexual act is 'spiritual' marriage and the two becoming one, thats what confuses me even more that a piece of paper is needed.......you get what I am saying?


Weird indeed he literally called right when I was making that post, and he is playing in church on Sunday , so we eased into to many subjects from there, including this, I told him of the anguish I go through and he said 'I know' I was crying and just telling him how I feel, he said you have to pray on it, but we can go get married this weekend.

sorry for all the questions, I know my answer already, sigh, Ive already begun the process, SEEKING THE LORD ON ALL OF THIS, until I get my answer from him and him alone

Please Iris, just don't make any drastic decisions. If you marry, God is going to expect you to be married to him TIL ONE OF YOU DIES!!!! FOREVER!!!!!. What's 6 months or a year in premarital when you're going to be married for the next 40 years? Please don't think that God is gonna be please because you eloped to keep from sinning. SOMEBODY has to stop and do what Jesus says. It should be him especially if you plan on him leading you. He's not doing it so far. He can't present you to the Lord without spot or blemish if you two are fornicating.

I'm going to be blunt. If he doesn't fear God enough not to have sex with you what makes you think that he will fear God enough after you marry him not to cheat on you? How can he lead your familyif he can't do something as simple as keep his hands to himself? Please marry someone who fears God girl. The rest of your life DEPENDS on it.erplexed

 

[aribell]

lol no girl , your adding 'extra' to what is being said. When one is saying they believe God can bring him or bring it together, that means they dont have to take it upon themselves to make that moment happen, no beams, no brands a simple passing in the street, while meeting a freind in a coffee shop, he comes to your job, he sees you in church, you pass him in the Grocery store , he sees you getting out of your car to go into a store, a destiny meeting is just that destined. Thats all, I mean he didnt say dont live in the meantime, but while living being lead by him in all things, knowing he will guide your steps and direct your path, most of us living this way are not all balled up in confusion waiting for every minute detail , or we do nothing, no its not like that at all, its just living and trusting and not chasing down what should be and is going to given to us anyway in his timing.

This is a good point. Whether we are looking to find a mate or not, we should be out and about living life...meeting new people, doing new things, engaging in ministry, forming friendships, fellowshiping in godly community, developing mentor-mentee friendships. If our lives and relationships are in order the way that they are supposed to be, then we will have beaucoup possibilities to meet "the one" without necessarily trying (i.e., without having to be "concerned" about it).

And if we are loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and seeking first the Kindgdom then we can be content in whatever state we're in because we know that we're exactly where the Lord would have us be. If we were lacking anything, He would give it.

 

[Shinka]

I personally don't believe in monogamy before premarital class and engagement. Do you know that most men don't make that move until they see that someone else has an interest in you? If you are committed to him and he knows you want to be married then......... He can drag that thing on for decades. But let a man know that you WILL be seeing other men. They'll propose within 6 months, THAT'S if you're keeping your legs closed and your hands and mouth(we're all grown right?) to ourselves.

I think once saints decide to be "exclusive" they should enter premarital class to see if it's the will of God to marry each other. Once the interest is there, not waiting months or years. If you meet someone who you think," You know, I wouldn't mind being his wife." and he feels the same about you and is considering you THEN you need guidance.

Thank you for the insight. I did this when me and x-So ( hurts to say this) broke up recently. I was encouraged to date to distract myself. I didn't like my dates, but when I happen to mention I was dating, he got all tissy about it. Then about 2 weeks later he like emotional broked down and asked me back, and decided to work on the "issues" I was having within our relationship. We were planning for marriage, thats when the whole children misunderstanding was clarified.

So I'm back at a square one and will definetly date and use this advice, not as an aim to get a man to commit. I just think it helps me guard my heart more and let any man I'm not too available to him. If he wants to be monogamous that it wil be a mutual discussion and decision ( which I always try to have with a man anyway), not assumed.

 

[Shinka]

The two become one flesh during sex, it doesn't have to be married sex. That is why God says to wait until marriage to become chemically bound to another. The ending of the relationship causes a "ripping" or "tearing" apart and causes pain.

Your doubt may very well be a warning from the Lord Iris. Wait on the Lord and take the premarital class at one of your churches and stop being alone with him. You can not control yourselves. The devil has entered into your relationship and it is going to be hard as heck to get him out of it because it's ungodly.

ETA:The pain, tearing, ripping is the tearing asunder that the Lord talks about.

I understood sex connected folks ( spiritually), but I didn't think of it as spiritual marriage. Does God considered sexual partners married if they are Christians?

If so, if you had multiple sex partners in life, does God consider you and adulterer?
Can you point me to some scriptures on this?

 

[Shinka]

Well, as usual just my opinion based on what I've read or have been taught:

Marriage is a choice no matter what (un/saved, with/out asking Him). There is no disobedience wrt marriage since He would not tell someone not to marry. If anything He would tell someone that his/her choice of mate is bad/good and, I would imagine, if the person is saved He would tell him/her such, whether s/he asked Him or not (through the HS and/or his/her natural authority).

Of course I have not read the whole bible but so far I have not read where marriage is a blessing (I know it says that children are) or that women are forbidden to position themselves to be found or even that God blesses unions. (Plz provide me w/ references if you have them tia). The verse about "who can find...." does not exclude women from looking either imo (I know u & MsH will not agree LOL).

I don't think that God restricts anyone from marrying so there is no disobedience there. Eunichs don't exist anymore and were for protecting the concubines or something.

I've been typing this on my BB for like 2 hrs & I know it is messed up.

Question about bolded: I'm just curious where biblical do you get this?

The actual passage is below. I don't think of any place where its told for wife's to find husbands. It's not "who can find"....its he who finds? Do you have a different translation?

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.


—Proverbs 18:22

 

[Ms.Honey]

I understood sex connected folks ( spiritually), but I didn't think of it as spiritual marriage. Does God considered sexual partners married if they are Christians?

If so, if you had multiple sex partners in life, does God consider you and adulterer?
Can you point me to some scriptures on this?

Marriage is not spiritual, it's fleshy. It ends on earth, we are not married in heaven. It is however guided by spiritual principles. No, God only considers it marriage if it is in line with the laws of the land. Common law marriages don't count.
We are adulterers towards God when we fornicate. He is our husband spiritually and will only share His glory(you) with one person at a time, legally through marriage.

We become one flesh with EACH person we have sex with til one or the other dies. If it's 100, we're bound to 100.

 

[Shinka]

omg @ the bolded, THIS is what came into my spirit to do about my situation, to tell him 'NO MORE' and then tell him I want to see others 'without that being involved'

I had the feeling like you said it was the only way

but I figure either he will get on one knee or go ape boo boo nuts on meerplexed, or can I really do it? and would it not drive me nuts?

But I am also torn , he is willing to get married NOW, its me that keeps pushing it back, because I dont want us to get married just to 'relieve my spiritual anguish and anxieties' about this, he does not feel like I do about Marriage, he feels he is LOVING me and married to me already in his heart, well let me rephrase that, I feel that way too, but he doesnt have the mixed messages and anguish like I do



Ladies I have an even deeper question, is it going to the court house that makes it an honorable union in the Lord's eyes, I mean we almost did that a million times, how does a piece of paper make it all right, in the days of old didnt they just have a 'ceremony' or celebration and take their vows before the LORD, can you take those vows without the piece of paper?

I am asking this seriously because I have been torn over this so long, and I went with 'the vows in our hearts' not the piece of paper thing and now I am here and I just , well need help to understand

Is marriage or the two becoming one, a piece of paper, or vows in ones heart taken before the LORD in LOVE and HONOR and TRUTH?

Should I just let him take me to vegas or the court house and get the paper then do the 'celebration' ceromony with close friends and family

I mean will that piece of paper really make this whole thing more righteous? will that give me peace and assure me that I am relieved of sin?

I am asking this so seriously because this is all the confusion that got me where I AM now

I thought these passages may help in your prayers about this situation?

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

—2 Corinthians 6:14

Not saying is an unbeliever, but the lawlessness part I think applies

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

—Hebrews 13:4

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
—Ephesians 5:22-33


Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. —1 Corinthians 7:1-5

I don't have any advice ( nor do I think I'm qualified to advise), but hope these help

 

[discobiscuits]

Please Iris, just don't make any drastic decisions. If you marry, God is going to expect you to be married to him TIL ONE OF YOU DIES!!!! FOREVER!!!!!. What's 6 months or a year in premarital when you're going to be married for the next 40 years? Please don't think that God is gonna be please because you eloped to keep from sinning. SOMEBODY has to stop and do what Jesus says. It should be him especially if you plan on him leading you. He's not doing it so far. He can't present you to the Lord without spot or blemish if you two are fornicating.

I'm going to be blunt. If he doesn't fear God enough not to have sex with you what makes you think that he will fear God enough after you marry him not to cheat on you? How can he lead your familyif he can't do something as simple as keep his hands to himself? Please marry someone who fears God girl. The rest of your life DEPENDS on it.erplexed

This is why I don't like Paul's advice that people who can't be sexually inactive to marry (I don't disagree with it as it is still the best advice even today if the people getting married FEAR GOD). However, I've never seen marriage as a cure for promiscuity or extramarital sex.

 

[Shinka]

Marriage is not spiritual, it's fleshy. It ends on earth, we are not married in heaven. It is however guided by spiritual principles. No, God only considers it marriage if it is in line with the laws of the land. Common law marriages don't count.
We are adulterers towards God when we fornicate. He is our husband spiritually and will only share His glory(you) with one person at a time, legally through marriage.

We become one flesh with EACH person we have sex with til one or the other dies. If it's 100, we're bound to 100.

I don't know if it was on this board or else, but there is actually a prayer I used a year ago to break those bounds. I will try to find it for the ladies and post it on the forum or bump the page.

 

[discobiscuits]

Marriage is ... fleshy. It ends on earth... It is however guided by spiritual principles. No, God only considers it marriage if it is in line with the laws of the land. Common law marriages don't count.

Thank you. To clarify: I am not condoning common law marriages just using as an example. You said more succinctly what I was trying to get across.

Question about bolded: I'm just curious where biblical do you get this?

The actual passage is below. I don't think of any place where its told for wife's to find husbands. It's not "who can find"....its he who finds? Do you have a different translation?

Shinka, RE: the green - I didn't - I said it is my opinion primarily because there is no where in the bible that instructs that the opposite is not true. Note that I did not say to go running around chasing men (a.k.a. pursue) but I am saying that (to my knowledge) God has not spoken to me spiritually or through my natural authority that I, a woman, cannot "look for" or be in a position to be found by a husband. I have yet for anyone (God or my ministerial staff) to tell me that a woman cannot put her profile on e-harmony (LOL). Maybe my perspective is skewed. I've never had a problem with men "finding" me and I've turned down marriage proposals. I am constantly pursued by men as I am a "good catch", "rare", "valuable", "marriage material". I still don't fully understand where they get that from.

The story of Ruth and Boaz (via Naomi) is one of the examples that I've used in the past on this (there is an old thread on that topic). Anyway, even my former pastor taught us that what the bible says is just as important as what it does not say, and it does not say that a woman is not allowed to find a man. This has nothing to do with a translation and women rely too heavily on that Proverb and end up sad, lonely, dejected, frustrated etc. waiting on some man to "find" them.

In one sense the connotation is that a wife or really more specifically, a virtuous woman, is something hidden to be found likened unto a gemstone that has to be dug out of the earth. However, the miner (the person doing the digging) must know where to look and do the work to mine the jewel. The jewel however, must be where it is supposed to be in order to be found. God is the One who places the jewel in a safe place, and presumably, leads the miner to the mine. Keep in mind that usually there are more jewels where that one came from. No jewel comes out of the ground cut and polished. That comes after it is dug up.

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her."
— Max Lucado

I have a feeling Ima hafta clarify....

 

[Irresistible]

Please Iris, just don't make any drastic decisions. If you marry, God is going to expect you to be married to him TIL ONE OF YOU DIES!!!! FOREVER!!!!!. What's 6 months or a year in premarital when you're going to be married for the next 40 years? Please don't think that God is gonna be please because you eloped to keep from sinning. SOMEBODY has to stop and do what Jesus says. It should be him especially if you plan on him leading you. He's not doing it so far. He can't present you to the Lord without spot or blemish if you two are fornicating.

I'm going to be blunt. If he doesn't fear God enough not to have sex with you what makes you think that he will fear God enough after you marry him not to cheat on you? How can he lead your familyif he can't do something as simple as keep his hands to himself? Please marry someone who fears God girl. The rest of your life DEPENDS on it.erplexed

Girl thank you!!! because that is my exact turmoil, to keep from sinning! I do hear you, it is not something I want to do for that reason either

and on the rest is the rest of the reasons for my turmoil, I know he LOVES me , but yes his heart has to be honorable to the LORD and he has to love him, I just been no good help with this girl, I am just as dishonorable in this area as he

I know that I have to stand and seek the LORD seriously cause man I have been sinking fast for a while now, just getting back up trying to figure all this out

I do agree on the premarital counseling and you know what you just gave me my first step, We have already been dealt with so much now, we absolutely need to take some steps further with it, with God and God's way

so do you do Premarital conseling Ms Honey?

maybe you should

 

[Ms.Honey]

Girl thank you!!! because that is my exact turmoil, to keep from sinning! I do hear you, it is not something I want to do for that reason either

and on the rest is the rest of the reasons for my turmoil, I know he LOVES me , but yes his heart has to be honorable to the LORD and he has to love him, I just been no good help with this girl, I am just as dishonorable in this area as he

I know that I have to stand and seek the LORD seriously cause man I have been sinking fast for a while now, just getting back up trying to figure all this out

I do agree on the premarital counseling and you know what you just gave me my first step, We have already been dealt with so much now, we absolutely need to take some steps further with it, with God and God's way

so do you do Premarital conseling Ms Honey?

maybe you should

Hon, you have to pray your way out of this backsliding state, he has to pray his own way out. You two also have to realize that you are getting each other into some SERIOUS trouble with God, that's not acting in love towards each other. The wages of sin is death for Christians too. Everytime he sleeps with you and you sleep with him you are causing death to occur in each others life. EACH TIME Y'ALL HAVE SEX!!!!! You have loving emotional feeling towards each other but you two aren't loving each other.

 

[Shinka]

Thank you. To clarify: I am not condoning common law marriages just using as an example. You said more succinctly what I was trying to get across.



Shinka, RE: the green - I didn't - I said it is my opinion primarily because there is no where in the bible that instructs that the opposite is not true. Note that I did not say to go running around chasing men (a.k.a. persue) but I am saying that (to my knowledge) God has not spoken to me spiritually or through my natural authority that I, a woman, cannot "look for" or be in a position to be found by a husband. I have yet for anyone (God or my ministerial staff) to tell me that a woman cannot put her profile on e-harmony (LOL). Maybe my perspective is skewed. I've never had a problem with men "finding" me and I've turned down marriage proposals. I am constantly persued by men as I am a "good catch", "rare", "valuable", "marriage material". I still don't fully understand where they get that from.

The story of Ruth and Boaz (via Naomi) is one of the examples that I've used in the past on this (there is an old thread on that topic). Anyway, even my former pastor taught us that what the bible says is just as important as what it does not say, and it does not say that a woman is not allowed to find a man. This has nothing to do with a translation and women rely too heavily on that Proverb and end up sad, lonely, dejected, frustrated etc. waiting on some man to "find" them.

In one sense the connotation is that a wife or really more specifically, a virtouous woman, is something hidden to be found likened unto a gemstone that has to be dug out of the earth. However, the miner (the peson doing the digging) must know where to look and do the work to mine the jewel. The jewel however, must be where it is supposed to be in order to be found. God is the One who places the jewel in a safe place, and presumably, leads the miner to the mine. Keep in mind that usually there are more jewels where that one came from. No jewel comes out of the ground cut and polished. That comes after it is dug up.




I have a feeling Ima hafta claify....

Thanks for that perspective. I never thought of Ruth story in the manner. ( please trust I have a profile on two sites...) So I don't think a women shouldn't place her self. I just think men find their wives, which is why I expect them to propose...

Thanks for expounding...deep

 

[Irresistible]

Hon, you have to pray your way out of this backsliding state, he has to pray his own way out. You two also have to realize that you are getting each other into some SERIOUS trouble with God, that's not acting in love towards each other. The wages of sin is death for Christians too. Everytime he sleeps with you and you sleep with him you are causing death to occur in each others life. EACH TIME Y'ALL HAVE SEX!!!!! You have loving emotional feeling towards each other but you two aren't loving each other.

oh God!



I hear you *gulp*

 

[Irresistible]

That right there is funny!

yeah that was

 

[deola]

This is why I don't like Paul's advice that people who can't be sexually inactive to marry (I don't disagree with it as it is still the best advice even today if the people getting married FEAR GOD). However, I've never seen marriage as a cure for promiscuity or extramarital sex.

This is so true! My husband told me of a friend of his who was a pastor on campus back in university (incidentally I knew the guy through mutual friends) who got married to this girl he was courting just because they couldn't wait to have sex.

The marriage broke up less than a year. The way I see it, they did not take the time to hear from God or know each other enough to agree to marry. They were driven by their lust for each other and it was not enough to keep them together. And believe me, Paul's advice was their justification to marry!erplexed

I also know another christian couple who because they were 'burning' went ahead and got married in court (without the knowledge of their folks). They moved in together and later had their wedding ceremony. They also went with Paul's advice. They have been married for about 7 years or so and have 3 kids.

Now what is the difference between these 2 couples? Even though they married because they were 'burning' with hard to control passion for each other, the second couple obviously did some getting-to-know-you-indepth-studies of themselves and I believe had their spiritual radar tuned to God's will for their lives.

 

[Mis007]

[/quote]

Please Iris, just don't make any drastic decisions. If you marry, God is going to expect you to be married to him TIL ONE OF YOU DIES!!!! FOREVER!!!!!. What's 6 months or a year in premarital when you're going to be married for the next 40 years? Please don't think that God is gonna be please because you eloped to keep from sinning. SOMEBODY has to stop and do what Jesus says. It should be him especially if you plan on him leading you. He's not doing it so far. He can't present you to the Lord without spot or blemish if you two are fornicating.

I agree.

This is why I don't like Paul's advice that people who can't be sexually inactive to marry (I don't disagree with it as it is still the best advice even today if the people getting married FEAR GOD). However, I've never seen marriage as a cure for promiscuity or extramarital sex.

This is the truth, on the contary marriages are failing because of this...

Hon, you have to pray your way out of this backsliding state, he has to pray his own way out. You two also have to realize that you are getting each other into some SERIOUS trouble with God, that's not acting in love towards each other. The wages of sin is death for Christians too. Everytime he sleeps with you and you sleep with him you are causing death to occur in each others life. EACH TIME Y'ALL HAVE SEX!!!!! You have loving emotional feeling towards each other but you two aren't loving each other.

Alias, that makes two of us...

 

[Mis007]

May I ask a question, ladies are all these men you meet/date chrisitians. The reason that I ask is that alot of what is being discussed I would find that the non-chrisitian male would not be that receptive to it. Most of the males that I have dated have been non-chrisitian although they were raised in a christian household but do not practice per se. I am just wondering how do you brooch a subject that you will not participate in any sexual encounters outside of marriage with said person. TIA