This will always be the thorn for natural hair

[pookaloo83]

Wow Nonie! How did you find it! That's the one I was looking for.

 

[LadyRaider]

pookaloo83 and LadyRaider, I beg your pardon ladies. Here you go.

Ah! Cool! Your "spacey" twists look like mine! Heh heh.

 

[faithVA]

Going to sit in on this thread. I have some similar activity to OsnapCnapp's going on. That hair puddle looked familiar.

 

[NikkiQ]

I'm not saying a word b/c i'd be stoned if you guys knew the last time shears came anywhere near my hair

Sent from my SPH-D700 using SPH-D700

 

[OsnapCnapp!]

@OsnapCnapp! if I understand you correctly, it's not just breaking at the ends but your roots also mat up so it's hard to separate the strands? Is that what you mean? Please clarify before I bore you with a totally different topic.

Nonie oh sorry no I was just showing that as the reason why I had started to use heat but now, after putting my hair in fat twists for tonight and looking at my ends, I think I need some serious love and support from you guys. Im thinking about just getting everything cut off.
I hate to be one of those ppl that hang on to damage just for the sake of length. I just don't get this. Im doing the same things as when I was relaxed and I never had a problem then. Ever. Now its like nothing will give. If I can....IF I can I will post a pic of my ends if I can get my camera to focus correctly but I need some serious just support right now. It took me this long to get where I am and Im damaged? It just hurts. I wouldn't know any other way around split ends except to cut them. And I don't trust stylists enough to go get them cut. I might leave with a crew cut. Im just at my wits end right now.

As for my roots, they are just hard and tightly in love with my scalp so getting through them is like a full-time job. But if I use heat then I get splits. Its like ice-skating up hill.

 

[Nonie]

Oh Sweetie OsnapCnapp! Don't despair. I'm sorry I was "away" watching the game then discussing it while you were calling out.

You don't have to shave your hair, and you are going through what a lot of people who were relaxed for so long and only know how to deal with relaxed hair go through. You probably just need a trim then need to go back to square one.

Looking at your hair, it seems you try to work with it when it's in its most shrunken state. You can't do that. You also can't comb it like that en masse. You just need pointers and in time it'll be just as easy for you as it is for many of us. Please know we're here for you.

I'm going to submit this because I don't want you thinking no one is listening. I'll be back to see how you're feeling. And hopefully answer some questions.

 

[NaijaNaps]

Nonie's right. You don't have to shave your whole head.

Please share your regimen and we can try to see what's going on and provide some tips.

 

[GoodMernin]

Ok here is a pic of hair fall from when I put my hair in flat twists without using heat on the roots and no comb. This is just to show that without semi-straightening my roots my hair does this.

And by the time I was done fingering my way through those roots, with much moisturizer on them and after a lengthy DC, this is how much hair fell out or came out

I mentioned already that I wear my hair in protective styles 99% of the time (mostly my own natural cornrows or buns) This was my little fuzzy bun/ball whatever from today. Everything was tucked as it is always

And here is a texture shot, its throwback

I don't have the best camera so I can't really take pics of the splits but they are there. So I will do a trim/dust today tomorrow will be 4 wks since I did it and from there I guess switch up my moisture routine. Right now it goes moisture, protein, moisture, protein. My hair likes protein but does not seem to respond to moisture so....splits. Ha well....i'll keep trying.

Cnapp, I would have to say that I was in the same boat that you are in right now with your exact same hair type and thickness from what I see in the pics. I also went through the same breakage and dryness that you speak of.

For the longest I shaved my head and eventually began to grow my hair out for the last 4 yrs or so. But DO NOT shave your head. Work with what you have now! It was through neglect, trial and error, youtube channels, and finally finding this site that led me on my serious natural healthy hair journey.

I do have to confess that for the last few weeks I have been contemplating a texturizer but Nonie has been so inspirational and "straight no chaser" when it comes to healthy natural hair that I feel crazy even contemplating putting chemicals back in my hair. Chemicals are okay for some people but for me I choose to keep what I have had for so long.

Okay, as far as my regimen for my 4b hair, I CANNOT wash my hair full out. It HAS to be in a few braids (about 8) for me to be able to clear it easier. And when I clear it, it has to be under running shower water until I find an alternate way to clear it out. So, 4b hair should ALWAYS be washed in braids to make clearing easier.

I do an over night DC every week for softness and to add moisture to the hair because 4b hair needs water like cereal needs milk. Moisture, moisture, moisture!! I use the Kimmaytube Deep conditioner recipe but I use Cantu leave in, and I add a tblsn honey, a tblsn of EVOO, and a tblsn coconut oil to mine.

I use natural, unrefined, creamy shea butter (a pea sized amount), Cantu shea leave in (a quarter sized amount), and cold pressed extra virgin olive oil (a dime sized amount) on each unraveled braid then I use a medium sized plastic hard afro pick to clear it out from end to root so as not to take out too much hair. But patience is the key and spray a lil more water on the braid (esp the roots) if need be.

I have been flat ironing but have just decided to take a six month break from the heat so I separate each braid into about 4 or 5 twists.

During the week, each morning and night, I separate the twists into about 4 bunches and spray each bunch with water until just damp. I take a pea sized amount of shea butter melt it between my palms, add a dime sized amount of EVOO to my hand and mix then add to the length of my hair starting at the ends. (sometimes you can skip a step cause your hair may still have some oil in it) This has kept me from having too many splits and knots. Plus, after a while, you will start to notice the cute curley ends once they have been babied for a few weeks between monthly dusting and nightly moisturizing.

I had been flat ironing for a few weeks so my curley ends disappeared because I had not been doing my twist routine like I used to but I am back on track now.

I hope this helps.

 

[kellistarr]

I subscribe to the tightly curly method, it's actually one of the best methods that has happened to my hair. But, I don't go along with everything that she does for my own hair.

Tightly Curly hasn't cut her hair in a decade or longer. I have to agree with Nonie, that the cutting/trimming is very necessary. For a full year, I did no cutting/trimming of my hair and regretted it. My ends became very thin. When I put my hair into two braids, my braids would be thick and luscious until you looked towards the ends, then my braids would become super thin. My ends also just started coming off in my hand every time I'd touch my hair. And when I would wash it, I began imagining what it must feel like to have Cancer and lose your hair. It was that bad!

Because I waited a year, my hair had surpassed the trim stage, it needed a cut. So, I cut and everything is great again. I need to trim at least every three months. Also, no disrespect to the people on this site, I love this site and all the informed women on it, but this site gave me validation for not cutting my hair. I tried it and it was a bad move. I'm sure that I didn't lose all that I had retained, but I think my hair would be lengthier if I had done the necessary trimmings.

 

[choconillaprincess]

choconillaprincess, am I reading a whole website? The link you gave me didn't seem to address the topic at hand so I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be reading.

Can you give a synopsis of what it is you do instead? Or quote the actual part of her website you were referring to?

As for separating strand by strand, I don't know what you mean but I do fingercomb like that. When I undo a twist to redo, I'm anal about separating my strands: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5iU4NgNGgI

i was refering to the method in general...
wash by only applying shampoo to roots
follow with cowash(i mix with oil when detangling)
coat hair with heavy conditioner and leave in
thats the broad summary of it

as far as the separating strand by strand bit she detangles and applies the heavy conditioner curl by curl and i dont have the patience for all that

 

[Nonie]

@choconillaprincess, I almost missed your response coz you didn't mention me. Can you please use that feature? @Embyra had sent me on a long journey and I have very little patience when it comes to vids--especially when I'm not expecting to be taking notes for my own use but just want a summary...so I appreciate you coming back.

I was busy rambling about split ends so I thought you were talking about a way to deal with split ends not a regimen that keeps them to a minimum. Thanks for saving me the trouble of chasing a phantom. I still love you @Embyra coz now I'll know what folks are talmbout when they say the tightly curly method.

 

[choconillaprincess]

Nonie word

 

[OsnapCnapp!]

Had to rehash my thread because I have been thinking about getting just the split ends cut and I have a few questions. Nonie and other plz feel free to chime in:

1. Would it be better to get it cut by a stylist? (This means I'd have to straighten first)

2. If I cut it, should I straighten it first? (I just did a blow out last wk and really don't want to use heat but if I end up doing it myself I don't know what would be easier to actually see the splits)

3. If I get everything cut, what are the chances that, even with a wonderful near perfect regimen, that they will appear again? Does getting everything (splits) cut and taking extra extra care (weekly DCs, moisturizing and sealing, protein treatments, proper detangling tools, protective styling, dusting, etc) of my hair mean that I won't have a problem with splits again?

4.

 

[kellistarr]

Had to rehash my thread because I have been thinking about getting just the split ends cut and I have a few questions. Nonie and other plz feel free to chime in:

1. Would it be better to get it cut by a stylist? (This means I'd have to straighten first)

2. If I cut it, should I straighten it first? (I just did a blow out last wk and really don't want to use heat but if I end up doing it myself I don't know what would be easier to actually see the splits)

3. If I get everything cut, what are the chances that, even with a wonderful near perfect regimen, that they will appear again? Does getting everything (splits) cut and taking extra extra care (weekly DCs, moisturizing and sealing, protein treatments, proper detangling tools, protective styling, dusting, etc) of my hair mean that I won't have a problem with splits again?

4.

Speaking for what I do to my own hair:

It depends on how much I'm cutting and how I wear my hair the majority of the time. If I'm just cutting an inch, 1 1/2 inches, then I'll just do it on curly hair since I wear my hair in its natural state and my hair isn't layered. Were I to cut more, I'd blow dry it. For a professional cut, I may blow dry or straighten depending on how I'm feeling.

Will you get splits again, Yes. Will you need to cut again, Yes.

These are preventive measures to keeping your hair healthy and strong, so that your hair doesn't split to the roots. There is no perfect regimen. Split ends are just a way of life for any head.

 

[Nonie]

1. Would it be better to get it cut by a stylist? (This means I'd have to straighten first)

It really depends on how much you trust your stylist. I have read posts where people have said stuff like going to Super Cuts or places like that the stylist listen to what you're saying to them and don't over cut. The positive thing about getting it done by a stylist is you can get a nice uniform trim and start off with hair that is all the same length so that maintaining it yourself now on by dusting a little from the ends of twists will be easy and won't affect the overall look of you hair. The down side is if your stylist is scissor happy, you'll end up with a BC. Sad thing about that is you will be sort of starting from scratch. Silver lining in that is you will be CERTAIN all the damage is gone and will be starting with hair that is healthy and fresh. So just weigh the pros and cons and listen to that small voice inside. Follow your instincts.

2. If I cut it, should I straighten it first? (I just did a blow out last wk and really don't want to use heat but if I end up doing it myself I don't know what would be easier to actually see the splits)

If you do it yourself, you do not need to straighten it. This is how I feel about straightening: I only see it as being useful if someone else is the one doing the trimming and s/he needs to stand back and take a look at the cut make sure it's uniform and balanced--like if going for a style. People who will be wearing their hair straight often may need this so that when they straighten the hair has a nice fall. If YOU are doing your own trims, I don't see any need to straighten because it's not like you can stand back and see how it looks and even it out and etc. As long as you cut off the same amount from the ends of many twists, whether curly or straight, it's the same effect all round. If one of you were planning to cut off 1 inch from the ends of straight hair. And if that inch curls down to 1/4 coil, and you slide your hands down your twists (the many twists you'll have put in) until you have a 1/4 coil left. Keeping the fingers at that point and then using your other hand to stretch it out to see if it's about what an inch is stretched, then you know you can snip that 1/4 coil off. And now you know if you snip a 1/4 coil of all the twists, you'd get the same uniform cut in all.

I do want to stress though that if I were getting as much as an inch trim, I would feel better if someone else did it for me, even if I were doing it in twists. You can even guide the person. You can say have your mom or sis or brother help you. Snip off one end, then ask them to snip off the same amount from the next twist and so on. They can give you each snip so you can supervise how much is being cut off. You would put all the twists in a pony and just pull one out at a time to snip. And then if that trim was big so that you feel comfortable that your ends are in good shape, the next trim will be a dusting and will be so small you won't even notice a change in length...as long as you do it regularly and not wait for too long.

3. If I get everything cut, what are the chances that, even with a wonderful near perfect regimen, that they will appear again? Does getting everything (splits) cut and taking extra extra care (weekly DCs, moisturizing and sealing, protein treatments, proper detangling tools, protective styling, dusting, etc) of my hair mean that I won't have a problem with splits again?

Splits will ALWAYS appear. Just like wrinkles, and rotting, and all the other things that happen to organic matter. Taking extra care will minimize the rate at which they appear and grow and affect your retention. That is why dusting has to be a regular part of your regimen. You get to the splits when they are very small so you only need to cut off very little and by doing so, you create a strong end that doesn't act like a tear notch that rips easily. You make it harder for the hair to deteriorate by not allowing the tears that do happen to get too big to where you notice them. By doing this, you retain better...because your ends are strong most of the time.

It's when you let splits grow big that they work like a tear notch and allow easy tearing up the strand and each tear tapers and falls off, leaving thing long weak ends that fall off at the slightest touch and rob you of length. But you keep the ends strong by cutting off the trouble makers before they get a chance to become that powerful, and you're on a roll.

The more you make an effort to take care of your ends, the better off they will be and the more effective dusting will work for you. For me who doesn't seal and protect, dusting every 8 weeks (I set reminders on my phone) works for me. I say I take off 1/4 inch...but that is such a tiny amount. It's this long __ and if I'm being honest, I am sure I take of a bit more than that. But I don't regret it or feel bad. I aim for that much, but if I take out a touch more, maybe this much ___ I don't feel guilty because I tell myself, better safe than sorry. The more you take off, the more you're sure you got splits out.

Epilogue

About SEEING split ends.... I think this is a futile attempt, unless you're wondering how much of a cut to make to remove damage you are know of. In that case, I'd to by "where do the ends look thin from" and chop above that. Why I think trying to see SPLIT ends is a waste of time is because, if the split has torn off, you won't see a split. You'll see a skinny hair that isn't split. And so if you go by "search and destroy" you might as well go and pick drops of water with your fingers and fill a bucket that way. It's a bloody waste of time. You will probably miss damage where what tore off was tiny. But as long as something tore off, that is a weak strand that will break and needs to go. A forked strand is a split end and one form of damage. A skinny end is post-split, and another form of damage that might be hard to see unless you're using a magnifying glass. What's more, if you can see it, then you've allowed the splits to grow too big. You need to just dust before you see problem. That's what prevention is about. So if you have damage, eg skinny ends, breaking ends, etc, yes, sight may help you gauge the point above which you must cut. But if you're talking about maintenance of healthy strands by dusting, then forget about sight. Just decide how how much to cut and do it to all...and do it regularly.

 

[Nonie]

Wow Nonie! How did you find it! That's the one I was looking for.

pookaloo83, not sure if you really wanted to know, since you didn't mention me so I had missed this post.

But I just went to Advanced Search, typed in twists as a search word and left Search Entire Posts selected, and then typed pookaloo83 under User Name and selected Find Threads Started by User and voilà!