this is about a friendship-- when is it time to say Fcuk it?

[c*c*chic*]

any1 have a friend who constantly spirals out into a world of shyt time after time again and their always in the middle of some tired *** drama? Ive been fighting myself with this for some time and now Im ready to say to hell with it. i have a friend who loves to give advice but never likes to take it. she always wants an opinion but the minute it's not the opinion she wants to hear she snaps at you. and it's like how old are you? get it together ma! I only hear from her when she's having problems, we have the best time and the minute her man is back in her life she ignores me. my phone goes silent for a few months--and this is supposed to be one of my bffs. now pls don't misunderstand anything im saying, im not jealous or wishing I had what they have because I def don't! (if you guys only knew the DRAMA) i have my own man but I know how to handle friendships and relationships at once. So I just leave her be. How do you guys deal with this ?

 

[princessnad]

How close are you guys? How long have you been friends?

 

[c*c*chic*]

We've been friends for almost 14 years.

 

[Makenzie]

I have different types of friends. One lives in ATL and we talk every now and then, but I KNOW she has my back and vice versa. Another lives here and we talk about 3 times a week and hang out about 2 times a month. Another is a traveling friend who we rarely see each other till it's time to travel. I can talk to them all about different things. However, none of us snap off on each other and I never feel used by them.

I can't do drama anymore. It literally drains the life out of you. Literally! You may want to step back and take control over how she is affecting your well being.

 

[Helpmeblongagain]

You should tell her how you feel...you've been friends for so long...don't cut her off just yet...you may be the reality check she needs.

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Good advice, hang tough, you sound mature enough to tolerate her . You do not have to cut her off. You understand how she see-saws with you, unfortunately she's the type to jump off then have you hit to the ground so always be prepared. You've been through a lot together so just keep her as she is-a sometimey pal-long as she does no real harm to you...she's just who she is.

 

[luvn_life]

Deleted....

 

[inthepink]

One thing to keep in mind is that just because you have been friends for a long time doesn't mean you have to continue to be friends. If you do continue to be friends, you may be submitting to accepting the person the way they are.

 

[c*c*chic*]

thanx for the advice ladies. I feel like we're growing apart. IM trying to get my stuff together as far as my career, and my long term goals. she's still partying and smoking and acting a fool and she's a parent. as someone said females like that don't like to hear what people have to say. not to mention her and I have had this conversation before and it changed for maybe a month and the nafter that it went right back to the same thing. I feel like I shouldn't have to keep telling her, she's not a baby so she comprehends. What I do now, when she hits me up I ignore her calls because I know what her reasoning for calling me is. she sends me texts saying that she wishes I lived closer so we could hang but I know she's only hitting me up because she has no 1 else to go out with. Im trying to hang tough but after a while it's like why? i feel like we are gonna be on two completely different ends of the spectrum in a little while.

 

[Silkycoils]

This past Sunday the message was about how we are fruitful to help others, but a problem arises when people are "eating" off of our tree and meanwhile we aren't being "fed" by them. I thought this was very simple, yet very profound.

 

[c*c*chic*]

I tried to edit the last post but im having issues. But I just wanted to say i dont knock any1 for wanting to party and have fun while being a parent, you have a life too. but it's a certain kind of lifestyle that you have to let go of when you become a parents ie: smoking weed? if you're going to smoke it would you smoke with your child in the room with you???? that's a whole other issue, but what gets me is why and what went wrong? she doesnt want more for herself. times are hard, yes, but wouldnt you want to try to better yourself so you can live a comfortable life? if not for you, do it for your child.

@hairlove: she's asked me to be the godmother to her child thats why ive stuck around and I love him. But get this, the other day she said to me -- in her words "oh I call all yall his godmother but legally none of you are" her mother told me in confidence that she wants her cousin to be the godmother. why would you ask me if you didnt want me to do it? why would you ask me to take off of work for his baptism and tell me about the paperwork I have to fill out?? it's certain things that she does, like this, that makes me feel like we just need to part ways. it's not the fact that she doesn't want me to be the god parent, you have to do what works for you and in the best interest of the child, by all means. but it's the way she does things. I dont know anymore.