I am SOOOO thinking about getting a relaxer

[OneInAMillion]

Hey Bubln,

In the end, it's your choice, but I would try some straight styles on your natural hair first. How about a rollerset? I'm sure the wrapped look wouldn't last as long as it does on relaxed hair, but it seems like you like to switch it up a lot anyway. I would try to get it blown out and see what you think. But if you decide to relax, go for it, cuz whether relaxed or natural, you got the info here on how to keep it healthy. Good luck!

BTW--what do you think your hair type is? I've been lookin for someone with hair like my natural hair and it looks a lot like yours...

 

[Suri]

Thanks everyone for being so understanding and for making me comfortable about coming to you all with this issue. Coming from some, you'd think it was an abomination to even think for a millisecond about relaxing natural hair. I still don't know what to do though.

I understand you. And I remember you from another board that would give you sh*t for thinking of a relaxer. I feel you, I am loving my natural hair and even though I still have some relaxed ends, I still love the curliness of the natural hair. Maxigliding is great, but it doesn't recreate the relaxed look and feel. My hair was only shoulder length when relaxed and it was beautiful. To be honest, it was more versatile then because I could wash and go and it would be curly or wear it straight, curled (chunky) or in a pony. There is always work with my natural hair. Twisting for a twist out, braiding for a braid out damn sometimes I don't feel like it. I am on both sides because I am 9 months post relaxer and I don't know if I am transitioning or not. The only bad thing is that when your hair is healthy natural or relaxed, you have more choices. Some people will go bald if they relax. GL to you with your decision. I would say don't relax because your natural hair is beautiful, but it's your life, have fun. Just because you relax doesn't mean you always will and because you are natural today doesn't mean you always will be. U have choices.

 

[lovechic]

Good luck on whatever you decide BubblnbrnSgr!!! You have beautiful hair!

 

[foxybrownsugar]

I have never seen you relaxed but i'm sure your hair was beautiful then too. Good luck on your decision.

 

[sky_blu]

Do it! Do it! Do it! Come on back to the creamy crack side

 

[ajargon02]

Girl I am glad that atleast you found a place where you could share how you feel openly. I know the site you speak of, and yes you are right. But you also know that they are there to promote ONLY natural hair. I say you do what you want. You have beautiful hair either way. Just like the other person said, check out a full head weave. I know I did. It was wonderful, and it looked great for the whole time that I had it. Plus it gave my hair a break, and it grew so much. After I took it out, she flat ironed my hair, and cut it. I loved it till I wanted my curls back! I just wanted to see my own hair straight. It was light, not greasy and great! I know your man will support whatever you do. Think it over, do what YOU want to do Then OF COURSE POST PICS for all of us album stalkers

 

[MzTami]

BBS,

You are one of the reasons I am transitioning today. When I first came to this site your words about natural hair inspired me! Now, you no longer want to practice what you have preached??? Anyway, life changes and so does people, I hope that you are happy with whatever decision you make.

Dyslla...you too?? You are another one of my inspirations! I wish you luck too.

 

[NYCQT16]

I like your hair...how about going to a Dominican salon and getting it blown out...I know they do it relaxer-like?? weave (like someone else mentioned)??? I mean do you, but remember you were relaxed before and there must be some reason you decided to get away from that.

 

[caligirl]

Your hair looks really cute in a puff. I would wear my hair like that everyday if my hair looked like yours. But I feel you on the relaxer. Straight hair takes much less time to wash and style, in my experience.

 

[patient1]

Hey Bubblin:

Long time natural checking in here. In the final analysis, yes, do whatever strikes your fancy.

I can tell you that when I first went natural at nineteen, it had nothing to do with the condition of my hair. I was addressing the conditioning of my mind: the belief that my God-given hair was a problem that needed to be fixed. However, at no time was the goal for me that EVERY black woman on the planet would wear a natural. I think it's something that we should experience. I truly believe that our natural hair is something that should be embraced. I TIRE of hearing students, Black students, give each other ish over their natural textures. At the same time, I'm not gonna give someone ish because they choose to relax their hair or in any way alter their look.

It's all about choices and, as I've said before, the goal should be that relaxers aren't rote: a rite of passage for Black girls and the solution to natural hair. Feel me?

If you want to relax, do so and do so joyfully. Make sure it's something you really, truly want to do and then just do it. Life is about making decisions and then living with the experience that follows. You've experienced natural hair (as a child), you experienced a relaxer, you made a conscious decision to re-embrace your natural hair, and now you are considering revisiting the relaxed experience.

I guess I know the other site too and their mission is a worthy one. But if it's not your mission, then it's not. Being natural can create a bit of pressure. People assume that you are locked into the look for life, and some of us are BY CHOICE. I have a friend who's gone from relaxed to twa to locs to twa to relaxed back to twa to locs. . .etc. It's hard to keep track. She's finally settled on a relaxer again because she feels most beautiful that way. I have another acquaintance with locs that are dagone near waistlength. Last time I saw her she said she felt like cutting them off and getting a relaxer. I had a good friend who rocked a low caesar for YEARS. It was her signature look. Then she popped up one year with a chin lenght bob still looking fierce. I've got the story of the converse as well: Hardcore permers who go natural and now have waistlength locs.

So yeah, it's hair, it's more, but then again...

Sometimes, with ALL that's going on in the world, I think that there are more worthy missions then fighting a box of lye. But I do understand the urge to fight that battle. For me though, once I went natural that was it. I big chopped and never looked back. I'm not gonna foist my lifestyle on another. People need freedom, hair freedom included.

I'm kinda babblin huh? LOL!

Long/short: You got ONE cranium in this ONE life, do with them BOTH what you will. Leave the judgers to their business. They're just doing what they do with their life. I admire your openness and I'm thankful you have a place where you can be authentic and think aloud.

P1

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

NYQT- Unfortunately, there are no Dominican salons here in Memphis.
Patient1- Wow, what a post!!! No, you were not babbling, you were just typing your mind and I really appreciate your comments.

 

[NGC]

BBS,

Call around Memphis and see if you can find a stylist that can properly press hair. When I went natural the third time I found a stylist who could press some serious hair. My hair continued to grow and I got the look I wanted. I was one upset sister when girlfriend moved out of state.

Maybe if you find someone that can press , try it for awhile and see if that is what you really want. You could also try a weave but you may not get the same feel as pressing your own hair.

If you decide to relax - go for it chica cause you will look gorgeous.

Bottom line - do what you want sweetie pea - you'll be beautiful either way.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Okay, just want to say to you, NGC, your hair is gawjous!!! How long have you been natural? What's your current length? Our hair looks similar.

 

[NGC]

LOL - Thanks :Blush2:

My last relaxer was Nov 2000. I'm at least BSL, maybe a little longer in the back. I haven't straightened my hair since my avatar picture from last year.

 

[Nightingale]

I absolutely LOVE your hair, gradually I'm learning to like mine too! Do what you think will, make you happy. Your hair is beautiful now and I truly believe it will still be if you decide relax.

 

[sterry]

Wow! we are on the same page.
I went 32 years before trying a relaxer and decided after a year to cut it out.
I once again natural at 36.

I don't want to relaxed .........maybe texturize. Something to loosen the curl to a 3b or 3a.
I am limited with styling and unfortunately there are no ethnic salons out here.
Also when I was relaxed within a week I had new growth or my hair appeared as if it were not relaxed at all. I do Personal Training and workout everyday....I don't know if it had something to do with that, but it was not worth the money I was investing.
I just want something to help out my natural style.

 

[Belladonna]

Bubln ,
whenever I get that desire to go relaxer straight , I weave it up. All of it up ! That way I give my hair a rest and I get the results I want. Soon enough i miss my curls but I am glad for the change.
However, if I knew then , what I know now texturizing would be a great option. Then you could go straight or wash-n- go. Good luck !

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Wow! we are on the same page.
I went 32 years before trying a relaxer and decided after a year to cut it out.
I once again natural at 36.

I don't want to relaxed .........maybe texturize. Something to loosen the curl to a 3b or 3a.
I am limited with styling and unfortunately there are no ethnic salons out here.
Also when I was relaxed within a week I had new growth or my hair appeared as if it were not relaxed at all. I do Personal Training and workout everyday....I don't know if it had something to do with that, but it was not worth the money I was investing.
I just want something to help out my natural style.

Glad to see you, girl!!!

 

[lawgirl02]

Relaxer?? Go buy a Maxi-glide.

 

[Sascha]

I think you know deep inside what you want to do. It really is just hair and the great thing about hair is that you can change it up all the time.
You are beautiful with natural hair and you will be beautiful with relaxed hair. Do what makes you happy (hug)

 

[nekilaki]

I'll be your guinea pig Bubln.

I've been natural for 3 years and I'm getting a texturizer today. I've had fun with the nautral experience. I'm now I'm ready to change. I am looking for more versatility with having a wet set that will last more than one day. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

[sterry]

Glad to see you, girl!!!

XOXO to you ladies!

 

[Enchantmt]

I have been thinking about the same thing, I think partly because I'm bored and partly because I miss the reaction I used to get with relaxed hair. In the end I've decided I didnt transition for 8 or 9 months, just to go back so quickly and I've reminded myself that the reason I went natural in the first place is that I was tired of having to relax my hair. To relax or texturize is setting me up for that neverending cycle all over again. I just discovered a whole new arena of PJism...Searching for paraben free products...so this will keep me occupied (AND BROKE) for a while. Soon I will be able to pull it completely back into a pony tail (right now I have some strands that dont quite make it in the pony tail holder. As soon as that happens I should be home free. Right now I have to do something, scrunch to perfection, twist, whatever, as soon as I can pull it back and forget about it I will be happy.

 

[mkstar826]

Sometimes, with ALL that's going on in the world, I think that there are more worthy missions then fighting a box of lye. But I do understand the urge to fight that battle. For me though, once I went natural that was it. I big chopped and never looked back. I'm not gonna foist my lifestyle on another. People need freedom, hair freedom included.

This is what I was going to say. Your whole post is what I was going to say actually lol...

I post on the "other" site a lot and I don't agree with everything that's said on there but I respect the fact that they have a mission and they stick to it.

However, I also think life is too short to be unhappy or frustrated with your hair. If you want a change, go for it. If you're longing for something new you shouldn't be made to feel like your betraying all naturals or whatever...I think sometimes on that site you're made to feel like being natural is the only way and honestly it's not and will never be. Is natural hair a lifetime thing for me?-YES...do I think everyone should be/stay natural if they are unhappy?-No. The reason I feel that way is because some people have no problem with natural hair but it's just not their preference. To ME, that's fine. But if a person thinks there's something wrong with natural hair and uses a relaxer to cover it up, then that makes me frustrated. I guess what I'm saying is that you've embraced your natural texture. You've taken a step that a lot of women will NEVER take out of conditioning or fear or whatever...so you have nothing to feel bad about it. If you want a change that's your business and no one should give you crap about it.

 

[Plenty]

I would say go for it!!!!!!!!

Your relaxer will be even better this time because it will be all even. And you will not have that same problem you had in your crown area.

You know more about relaxers and how to take care of relaxed hair.

And your new do would be the bomb on your wedding day.

The only reason I went natual, is so when I got a relaxer it would be beautiful.

I was never going natral for the look, even though your hair is drop dead gorgeous!

hope this helps, take care.

 

[Ayeshia]

I've been feeling like you lately but instead of relaxing, I chopped off more than half of my length. Im not suggesting you do that but it was either or for me lol.

 

[ximenia]

I don't know if this has been suggested because I didn't read the whole thread but why not just press it or get a blow-out?

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Here's the verdict, ladies- I think I am just gonna invest in that dang maxiglide. I sure hope it is worth the money. I am going to order it Friday (hopefully), in time for my 3 year natural anniversary next month. Here's what I am gonna do to my hair:

1. Wash, condition and do a hot oil treatment.
2. Use a setting lotion (anyone have any suggestions?) and roll my hair with big rollers (this will take about 1 hour and 30 minutes in itself). This step should make the maxigliding more easy.
3. After it is dry, I will apply wild growth oil over my entire head (not that much, cause I heard it STANK) and proceed to maxiglide.

Whaddoyallthink?

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Okay, bump the maxiglide, I am gonna try that ceramic iron Black Cardinal used for her hair, the Conair ThermalShine ceramic plated flat iron!! She said it was like $15 bucks!!

 

[Suri]

Nah. When I had a relaxer, my hair was still curly.

ITA! I have the real curly or straight option with my hair relaxed. Oh the temptation. :scratchch