NaturalBeauty<3
New Member
Story Time.
I went to my s/o family cookout this july 4th. Mind you, this is enormous. Uncles and aunts from other states... great great great great twice removed grandparents... the whole she-bang. I'm talkin about the kind of ridiculously large family only small towned country people know about. I traveled 3 hours to get there.
I digress.
Soooo my bf is the stereotypically charming, tall, green eyed [insert eyeroll] ex star basketball player that is adorned with rose petals as soon as he steps foot in his precious hometown. Groupies galore.
His head begins to swell once we get in a 20 mile radius. Really.
I didn't plan on staightening my hair, I've been cowashing and bunning this summer.. but I figured I should look presentable... first impressions. But uhh.. mainly for the groupies.
We pull up and he hops out the truck, of course, instantly forgetting about me to walk down his red carpet.
I get out the car. *silence*
...
..
*wind sweeps hair across face*
...
My s/o grabs my hand and begins to introduce me to the 500 people that were there.
All day, his family told me how pretty my hair was. How gorgeous I was. What do I do to my hair to get it like that...his aunts wanted to know If i was natural. His uncles just wanted to hit on me. Told me the s/o never brought anything home worth lookin at, lmao. His cousins actually did hit on me tho. 
Very quickly my hair became the sworn enemy of the boyfriend... and the "family friends" aka groupies. He did his best attempt of a bun on my hair when his uncle told us he wanted to run his hands through it.
He never. ever. ever. wants me to wear my hair down ever again. He was salty alllll night. Took all his lil shine away.
Lol. Beware of The Hair Rules.
1. Your significant other may get jealous.
2. Strangers will try to pet your hair . - @havilland
3. Beware of Stalkers . - @cocoma
4. Combing long hair while drenched in conditoner may possibly be gag-worthy. - @Embyra
5. You will be asked if your hair is real or not when worn down (then, most likely, be given the side eye regardless of your answer). - @gabulldawg
6. Long hair will get you LOTS of unwanted attention ... - @*CherryPie*
7. Old men will stop you in the street and tell you not to cut your hair. EVER. - @cocosweet
[ 8. You can and will roll your hair up in the car window, especially if you have power windows.
9. It's no joy fishing through hair looking for the last hair pin before you put on your head scarf at night then finding yet another one the next morning when you get ready to style.
10. Long shed hair feel like creepy crawlies when they fall on your leg.
11. Your cat will attack your hair when you lay down.
12. Toothpaste does not taste better mixed with hair.
13. You can and will break cheap hair clamps and chop sticks pushing through updo's.] courtesy of - @EbonyHairedPrincess
14. You will automatically have "good hair" when giving others hair advice and be dismissed. - @EbonyCPrincess
15. You definitely find out who your real friends are when u have long hair.
Chicks can get Mega Jealous. 
16. And ur also a prized posession of the family when ur hair is long. When I big chopped a few members of the extended fam changed up on me and started lookin at me sideways. - @SmilingElephant
17. People will walk up to you and say "Ooooh! You've got some lonnnnng hair!" And that's it. What do you say??? It's not like they're saying you have beautiful/pretty/nice hair so you can say "Thank you." It's just, stating the obvious, and looking at you to say something back. Standard response (which I'm sure many people have given): Oh, but it's soooo much work/such a hassle! (whether that's true or not). - @Cherokee-n-Black
18. When your hair starts to get really long, going to the bathroom is a little problem. Tip... wrap your hair around your neck! - @Candy828
19. Church Bitties will pull on your hair to see if its real. When satisified, they move to the next victim - @Missigirl
20. Hair can wrap around food and become a choking hazard. - @ajoke
21. When asked what you do to your hair, your low-maintanence regi will never satisfy and be anti-climatic to their expected "I soak it in unicorn blood" assuption.- @shasha8685
22. Your hair WILL clog your drain very quickly and sometimes... you'll probably run out of hot water shampooing & DCing your hair. - @AuNaturalMaMa
23. When people are talking/listening to you in a conversation, they'll STARE at your hair...I'm thinking, "Hello? What happened to eye contact?!" -@kittikat24
24. You will automatically become mixed when your hair gets to a certain point. (naturalbeauty)
25. Your grandmother will want you to wear your hair down at every big family funtion to show you off to her church bitty friends.(naturalbeauty)
26. "they" don't tell you that when your hair is long and "i whip my hair" comes on the radio/ i tunes, you HAVE to whip it. your hair WILL whip it for you. Afro, straight, whatever. expect some whippage. -@BreeNique
27. You will be assumed to be cocky/stuckup because of your hair. Besties will reveal they didn't like you immediately because of it. -@silenttullip
28. Be careful about turning away quickly when talking to someone in a ponytail. They will get slapped. -@Candy828
29. Men will stand really close to you in line to stare at your hair - @katblack
30. Having your hair down riding in a convertible ONLY looks cool in movies. In real life, its a no-go. -@mEmYSELFaNDj
31. Haters will let themselves be known. @**SaSSy**
32. When your hair is long, you are now considered "exotical".- @DrC
[33. Everyday things like purse straps, back packs, seat belts and coat are now the enemy.
34. Now you really will mean that you're washing your hair all day on Saturday.
35. Enjoy the taste of hair.
36. People can actually complement you hair while glaring at you at the same time. ] - @frida1980
37. People will tell you that they want to use your hair as a pillow...... After mentioning how soft, fluffy it looks. -@AuNaturalMaMa
38. A large percentage of your recycling and garbage will be empty leave in and conditioner bottles, henna boxes, plastic caps (though I try to reuse the ones I can), gloves, etc....not to mention all the empty containers you try to keep are taking over your pantry. - @greenandchic
39. I wish someone woulda told me it's a definite no no to blow bubbles with your chewing gum on a windy day when your hair is loose.....EPIC FAIL - @QBOE2001
[40. Vacuuming becomes two chores: carpet sweeping itself, then you gotta sit down and yank and cut at the tighlty woven hairs around the roller bar. It's stopped one from working, once.
41. When I wash my hair in the shower I must re-wash my back to get product off and hair clumps out from my butt cheeks.
42. No one told me that there is a reason white girls with long hair fling and sling their hair around; it's not just to be cute. You really have to do that to get it out of the way of the above mentioned enemies] -winterinatl
What else dont they tell you about having long hair?
I went to my s/o family cookout this july 4th. Mind you, this is enormous. Uncles and aunts from other states... great great great great twice removed grandparents... the whole she-bang. I'm talkin about the kind of ridiculously large family only small towned country people know about. I traveled 3 hours to get there.
I digress.
Soooo my bf is the stereotypically charming, tall, green eyed [insert eyeroll] ex star basketball player that is adorned with rose petals as soon as he steps foot in his precious hometown. Groupies galore.
His head begins to swell once we get in a 20 mile radius. Really.I didn't plan on staightening my hair, I've been cowashing and bunning this summer.. but I figured I should look presentable... first impressions. But uhh.. mainly for the groupies.
We pull up and he hops out the truck, of course, instantly forgetting about me to walk down his red carpet.
I get out the car. *silence*
...
..
*wind sweeps hair across face*
...
My s/o grabs my hand and begins to introduce me to the 500 people that were there.
All day, his family told me how pretty my hair was. How gorgeous I was. What do I do to my hair to get it like that...his aunts wanted to know If i was natural. His uncles just wanted to hit on me
. Told me the s/o never brought anything home worth lookin at, lmao. His cousins actually did hit on me tho. Very quickly my hair became the sworn enemy of the boyfriend... and the "family friends" aka groupies. He did his best attempt of a bun on my hair when his uncle told us he wanted to run his hands through it. He never. ever. ever. wants me to wear my hair down ever again. He was salty alllll night. Took all his lil shine away.
Lol. Beware of The Hair Rules.
1. Your significant other may get jealous.
2. Strangers will try to pet your hair . - @havilland
3. Beware of Stalkers . - @cocoma
4. Combing long hair while drenched in conditoner may possibly be gag-worthy. - @Embyra
5. You will be asked if your hair is real or not when worn down (then, most likely, be given the side eye regardless of your answer). - @gabulldawg
6. Long hair will get you LOTS of unwanted attention ... - @*CherryPie*
7. Old men will stop you in the street and tell you not to cut your hair. EVER.
- @cocosweet[ 8. You can and will roll your hair up in the car window, especially if you have power windows.
9. It's no joy fishing through hair looking for the last hair pin before you put on your head scarf at night then finding yet another one the next morning when you get ready to style
.10. Long shed hair feel like creepy crawlies when they fall on your leg.
11. Your cat will attack your hair when you lay down.
12. Toothpaste does not taste better mixed with hair.
13. You can and will break cheap hair clamps and chop sticks pushing through updo's.] courtesy of - @EbonyHairedPrincess
14. You will automatically have "good hair" when giving others hair advice and be dismissed. - @EbonyCPrincess
15. You definitely find out who your real friends are when u have long hair.
Chicks can get Mega Jealous. 16. And ur also a prized posession of the family when ur hair is long. When I big chopped a few members of the extended fam changed up on me and started lookin at me sideways.
- @SmilingElephant17. People will walk up to you and say "Ooooh! You've got some lonnnnng hair!" And that's it. What do you say??? It's not like they're saying you have beautiful/pretty/nice hair so you can say "Thank you." It's just, stating the obvious, and looking at you to say something back. Standard response (which I'm sure many people have given): Oh, but it's soooo much work/such a hassle! (whether that's true or not). - @Cherokee-n-Black
18. When your hair starts to get really long, going to the bathroom is a little problem. Tip... wrap your hair around your neck!
- @Candy82819. Church Bitties will pull on your hair to see if its real. When satisified, they move to the next victim - @Missigirl
20. Hair can wrap around food and become a choking hazard. - @ajoke
21. When asked what you do to your hair, your low-maintanence regi will never satisfy and be anti-climatic to their expected "I soak it in unicorn blood" assuption.
- @shasha868522. Your hair WILL clog your drain very quickly and sometimes... you'll probably run out of hot water shampooing & DCing your hair. - @AuNaturalMaMa
23. When people are talking/listening to you in a conversation, they'll STARE at your hair...I'm thinking, "Hello? What happened to eye contact?!" -@kittikat24
24. You will automatically become mixed when your hair gets to a certain point.
(naturalbeauty)25. Your grandmother will want you to wear your hair down at every big family funtion to show you off to her church bitty friends.
(naturalbeauty)26. "they" don't tell you that when your hair is long and "i whip my hair" comes on the radio/ i tunes, you HAVE to whip it. your hair WILL whip it for you. Afro, straight, whatever. expect some whippage. -@BreeNique
27. You will be assumed to be cocky/stuckup because of your hair. Besties will reveal they didn't like you immediately because of it. -@silenttullip
28. Be careful about turning away quickly when talking to someone in a ponytail. They will get slapped. -@Candy828
29. Men will stand really close to you in line to stare at your hair
- @katblack30. Having your hair down riding in a convertible ONLY looks cool in movies. In real life, its a no-go. -@mEmYSELFaNDj
31. Haters will let themselves be known. @**SaSSy**
32. When your hair is long, you are now considered "exotical".
- @DrC[33. Everyday things like purse straps, back packs, seat belts and coat are now the enemy.
34. Now you really will mean that you're washing your hair all day on Saturday.
35. Enjoy the taste of hair.
36. People can actually complement you hair while glaring at you at the same time.
] - @frida198037. People will tell you that they want to use your hair as a pillow.....
. After mentioning how soft, fluffy it looks. -@AuNaturalMaMa38. A large percentage of your recycling and garbage will be empty leave in and conditioner bottles, henna boxes, plastic caps (though I try to reuse the ones I can), gloves, etc....not to mention all the empty containers you try to keep are taking over your pantry. - @greenandchic
39. I wish someone woulda told me it's a definite no no to blow bubbles with your chewing gum on a windy day when your hair is loose.....EPIC FAIL
- @QBOE2001[40. Vacuuming becomes two chores: carpet sweeping itself, then you gotta sit down and yank and cut at the tighlty woven hairs around the roller bar. It's stopped one from working, once.
41. When I wash my hair in the shower I must re-wash my back to get product off and hair clumps out from my butt cheeks.
42. No one told me that there is a reason white girls with long hair fling and sling their hair around; it's not just to be cute. You really have to do that to get it out of the way of the above mentioned enemies] -winterinatl
What else dont they tell you about having long hair?
Last edited:
erplexed
:gotroasted:
ohwell:
