**The truth ABOUT black women and their hair!**

This argument will result in nothing more than a deadlock...

The women with chemically treated hair will vehemently oppose any rhetoric that remotely suggests an affinity toward white standards of beauty.

The women who wear their hair in it's natural state will assert that white standards of beauty have done a number on black women, thus, the preoccupation with straighter textures.

The shame in one's natural hair is indeed the result of a larger issue, but realize that we are perpetuating and supporting this larger problem by succumbing to idealized standards.

Having relaxed hair makes one more accepted, integrated, and less threatening to the status quo. It garners the approval (and i use the word approval loosely) of the majority more so than a natural would, because straighter hair is less foreign to them.

It will be very difficult, if not darn near impossible, to eradicate this notion of bad hair if we continue to mimic majority ideals.

There is nothing wrong with experimenting, being different, diverse, and the like. However, one must think about the motivation to constantly and consistently adhere to the straight hair ideal. I'm not sure of the exact percentage, but someting like 75% of black women relax their hair?
Then you've got this pathological fear of kinky hair, so much so that it is denigrated, demonized, and viewed as something that needs to be fixed.

Naturals who consistently (all the time, 100% of the time, Can't be seen with their hair unpressed) wear their hair in straight styles and hold the same negative conceptions of kinky hair have also fallen victim to idealized standards.

How can we change the mentality of type 4 hair and show how versatile, beautiful, and lovely it is if it is burned straight all of the time?


*******let the backlash begin!!!!!!******:yep:
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No backlash necessary. This deadlock that you speak of is because both parties speak opposing truths at the same time, but there is no way anyone can just assume how an individual feels about themselves based on their hair. Natural or not.

Your principal argument is that there is no way we can eradicate the notion of bad hair if people continue to wear relaxed hair. I understand what you mean, because there are ALOT of people who straighten their hair to within an inch of its life to avoid (like the plague) having nappy hair. But again I say the problem is not relaxed hair.

If everyone as a whole wore their hair(however they want) with PRIDE instead of worrying about how others perceive them, then that would speak volumes. I don't think either side has to conform to the other side just to prove they have love for their hair or themselves. In other words, those who heat straighten or relax shouldn't have to change their individual spirit & style just to prove self-esteem nor should anyone be stoned for it either. Just like naturals who have a longer way to go in society to be accepted shouldn't be punished or riduiculed for wearing natural hair.

In the end it's how we talk, how we carry ourselves, how we care for the hair (getting educated about how to care for it) that really says & shows that we are prideful. Respecting & loving ourselves is truly what is key in getting the message across to the world that our hair is just as beautiful & acceptable as everyone else. I do believe that we can achieve this without everyone being 'natural'. However, having more naturals rocking beautiful long, big hair IS key. Having more naturals with beautiful hair be represented in mainstream media IS essential. AND if everyone could achieve healthy hair then its versatility(nappy, kinky, straight, curly, coily, wavy) would become an asset.

On a side note I find it appalling that there is so much hate on each other that we get people arguing over 'texlaxed', 'texturized' 'braidout', waves, curl, hair types etc. Why can't we have it/do it all? We are ALL THAT, & more.:grin:
 
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I don't even feel like watching this mess...they turned me away when they start talking about "cycle" crap.

*I don't have the time.*
 
From what I've seen on this board and IRL most individuals are not making the choice to relax for themselves. Usually, it's mothers who choose to relax their daughters hair while they are still children. If you were a teenager and decided you wanted straight hair, that's one thing. But, most people admit on this board that their hair has been relaxed since they were young and it was their parents who made that decision.

I personally don't consider relaxing experimenting or just another hairstyle because of its permanent nature. But, that's just me. And when 70-80% of black women relax their hair on a regular basis that tells me that there's a little more to it than just "experimentation".

I've noticed for a while that relaxed heads tend to insult natural hair in a less obvious way. Most of the time I'm sure it's not on purpose or directed at anyone in particular. I've seen so many threads with titles like: "how can I tame this nappy new growth" or "I just couldn't deal with this nappy mess, I had to relax". It's those subtle jabs at natural hair that generally make me cringe. The tone used is so negative.

And don't get me started on the fact that people on this board act like the only way to enjoy your hair is by wearing it straight. When people say things like "what's the point have long hair if you can't wear it out flowing and straight?", IMO that implies that hair in its natural state is neither enjoyable nor beautiful.

It bothers me that straight hair is still considered the default position. Straight hair is considered "normal" and "beautiful" and natural hair, while accepted, is still marginalized. And, the use of relaxers just reinforces that IMO.


So what percent of white women color their hair? Do you think they sit around and have these conversations? People do what they do because they want to! I personally don't like bone straight hair. It doesn't compliment my face. I don't have low self esteem. My mother gave me a jerri curl when I was younger. I don't have one now.

White women can do what they please to their hair without all the self-esteem diagnoses. They straighten, color, get perms and everything else. Why can't a black woman have the same options in how they style their hair? Just because you feel a certain way about relaxers that's you.
 
It wasn't that bad. Her face wasn't even showing and there are ways of protecting your photos so that they won't be taken on fotki. Even if your fotki's are locked there are still ways for people to take your photos (if they have access to your password). I'm not worried about it. I have photos of myself up on other sites and I do my best to protect myself (like making my photos viewable to friends or members only) but there's only so much you can do.
 
From what I've seen on this board and IRL most individuals are not making the choice to relax for themselves. Usually, it's mothers who choose to relax their daughters hair while they are still children. If you were a teenager and decided you wanted straight hair, that's one thing. But, most people admit on this board that their hair has been relaxed since they were young and it was their parents who made that decision.

I personally don't consider relaxing experimenting or just another hairstyle because of its permanent nature. But, that's just me. And when 70-80% of black women relax their hair on a regular basis that tells me that there's a little more to it than just "experimentation".



I've noticed for a while that relaxed heads tend to insult natural hair in a less obvious way. Most of the time I'm sure it's not on purpose or directed at anyone in particular. I've seen so many threads with titles like: "how can I tame this nappy new growth" or "I just couldn't deal with this nappy mess, I had to relax". It's those subtle jabs at natural hair that generally make me cringe. The tone used is so negative.

And don't get me started on the fact that people on this board act like the only way to enjoy your hair is by wearing it straight. When people say things like "what's the point have long hair if you can't wear it out flowing and straight?", IMO that implies that hair in its natural state is neither enjoyable nor beautiful.

It bothers me that straight hair is still considered the default position. Straight hair is considered "normal" and "beautiful" and natural hair, while accepted, is still marginalized. And, the use of relaxers just reinforces that IMO.


whts crazy is that u find a few sayings to be upset and offended about... constantly mentioning this board. Even though this board is over half natural and darn near evry1 else seems to b transitioning. Fact is ..this is not an all natural board... there are relaxed heads here and u will see terms regarding tht. no one is intentionally being insulting to naturals when tehir talking about their newgrowth. i can't help that u interpret tht into one saying natural hair is so ugly:rolleyes:we all have to be hear stuff. i cringe at the creamy crack & tryning to b white comments all the same.
 
whts crazy is that u find a few sayings to be upset and offended about... constantly mentioning this board. Even though this board is over half natural and darn near evry1 else seems to b transitioning. Fact is ..this is not an all natural board... there are relaxed heads here and u will see terms regarding tht. no one is intentionally being insulting to naturals when tehir talking about their newgrowth. i can't help that u interpret tht into one saying natural hair is so ugly:rolleyes:we all have to be hear stuff. i cringe at the creamy crack & tryning to b white comments all the same.

Right there with you. Like whats wrong with saying, "going natural"? Who cares how I say it, you get the point right?? People try to make this into a debate when there's really nothing to debate.

And once again I posted this to showcase why fotkis should be locked!!! I wasnt tryin to start a relaxed vs. natural debate. Geez!!:wallbash:
 
So what percent of white women color their hair? Do you think they sit around and have these conversations? People do what they do because they want to! I personally don't like bone straight hair. It doesn't compliment my face. I don't have low self esteem. My mother gave me a jerri curl when I was younger. I don't have one now.

White women can do what they please to their hair without all the self-esteem diagnoses. They straighten, color, get perms and everything else. Why can't a black woman have the same options in how they style their hair? Just because you feel a certain way about relaxers that's you.

1. I never said anything about self-esteem so don't put that on me. Obviously, you feel it's a self esteem issue since you brought it up.
2. It is my opinion that black women have many different ways to style their hair, I just don't consider relaxing a "hairstyle" because it is permanent.

whts crazy is that u find a few sayings to be upset and offended about... constantly mentioning this board. Even though this board is over half natural and darn near evry1 else seems to b transitioning. Fact is ..this is not an all natural board... there are relaxed heads here and u will see terms regarding tht. no one is intentionally being insulting to naturals when tehir talking about their newgrowth. i can't help that u interpret tht into one saying natural hair is so ugly:rolleyes:we all have to be hear stuff. i cringe at the creamy crack & tryning to b white comments all the same.

1. The only thing I said I was upset/offended about was the term "nappy/natural nazi". I do not like that term and I will not apologize for that.
2. Until every single person on this board is surveyed, we don't know how many people are relaxed, natural, or transitioning. The only thing we do know is that from the people who answered the latest poll, more than half were natural or transitioning.
3. I was just stating my opinion about things that happen to make me cringe when I see them. You just did the same. I'm not crusading to get people to stop using certain terms, I was just pointing things out that I noticed.
4. Like I said before, I don't think anyone intentionally tries to insult natural hair when they talk about their new growth or whatever. The tone people use sometimes is really negative and it reminds me that natural hair is still considered unruly, difficult, and sometimes, ugly. I think the same thing happens when people talk about relaxed hair.

Right there with you. Like whats wrong with saying, "going natural"? Who cares how I say it, you get the point right?? People try to make this into a debate when there's really nothing to debate.

And once again I posted this to showcase why fotkis should be locked!!! I wasnt tryin to start a relaxed vs. natural debate. Geez!!:wallbash:

There is nothing wrong with saying "going natural" and I wasn't saying that there is. I was just saying it was a pet peeve of mine. It doesn't bother me I just don't think the term makes sense. It is not that serious. Everyone has pet peeves jeez.
 
So out of true curiousity: Are naturals (as in non-relaxed) who color / bleach / lighten/ darken their hair not natural?
 
So out of true curiousity: Are naturals (as in non-relaxed) who color / bleach / lighten/ darken their hair not natural?

I think we had a thread posted asking this question not too long ago. There were some different opinions as to what natural hair is and what it isn't, but I think the majority of people on this board felt that natural hair is hair that has not been chemically straightened, though there were a few other answers. Let me go find that thread so I can post it for you.

P.S. Here it is

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=302481&highlight=claims+natural
 
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umm so I watched it. . . clearly not happy. . . but it is ALSO kinda offensive that this video claims it is fighting the power. . . but there are no 4bs or 4zs TWAs anywhere in the video< i saw two twas and they looked more 4a to me. they show big 3cs with big old heads of hair. . . even in the natural community there is dissent between 3c natural curls/waves and 4b natural curls. . . and then there is the whole length debate. . . almost EVERYONE wants healthy (and many want long too). I don't think ANYONE denies that a big ole cloud (:lick:) of natural hair full or curls, kinks, waves, 'napps', etc is awesome!
 
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