"The Tracks of My Weave" a.k.a. Joy Bryant 'Mouths' Off

[Soliel185]

Uh...I don't even know how to feel about this right here.

I guess it's meant to be satirical - but it comes across as a little flat and sad to me. Maybe I'm reading too much into it? erplexed

Ouch! My tailbone really hurts when I sit on hard surfaces or slouched down in a chair for too long. That’s what I get from busting my butt from too much snowboarding. It makes it really hard to sit in a salon chair for hours on end getting my weave hooked up.
But oh, how we suffer for beauty...I must bring a pillow next time.

As the threads of the grown-out tracks were being snipped, I broke out my laptop and began my ritualistic daily web search. I go from news of the day to articles/blogs about the news of the day, ending up on entertainment/gossip/fashion stuff.
But that day, something caught my attention and trumped all of the glowing reviews of President Obama’s health care speech:

It was Tyra’s hair.

National Real Hair Day? I missed that one...In fact, on National Real Hair Day, I was calling Extensions Plus in L.A. to make sure they had enough of the 20” "relaxed roots" texture hair that I love oh so much (and that keeps selling out like crazy!), and making an appointment to get my hair, I mean, my weave, hooked up.

So Tyra, while I didn’t take part in your observance, I just want to say: "WOW!" You are such a brave woman for breaking the chains that bound you since your teenage years! What courage that took, for you to expose yourself to millions of people! Such fearlessness!
Oh, how I wish I had the guts to do that. I guess I’m much too much of an insecure, self-loathing Negro for all that self-acceptance foolishness.
I’m glad we got down to solving the mystery of what’s under your lace-front, though. I mean seriously, it was "THE" question that has perplexed the world over. And now we see that there’s a beautiful head of hair underneath it all, hair that was surprisingly relaxed and ready for the world. Whodathunkit?! If I had the same length and fullness of hair that you have, I might take my weave out too.

Ha!!!! I’m just playing! Even if I DID have your "real" hair, I’d still be wearing a few tracks or clip-ons up in there.

Why?

Because I’m straight weave fo life, kid!!!

Ima ride ride wit this weave, die die with this weave!!

Let me break it down for you:
See, I loooooove taking new hair out of the bag, combing through it with my fingers, holding it up with my two hands, and burying my face in it. Mmmm, mmmm, mmm! Nothing like a new batch of zig-zag curly to get your self esteem out of the dumps!

The feeling of getting my hair, I mean, my weave done over. I feel human again. I feel sexy. I feel powerful. It makes me feel...it makes me feel...it makes feel like a natural woman!!!
I can be whatever, whoever I want to be with the stroke of a sewing needle...
With long brown tresses and a tan, I’m Pocahontas, 'cause I got Indian in my family. With easy waves, I AM bohemian rhapsody goddess personified. And now that I got blond highlights! What!? I know I look like Beyonce! You can’t tell me nothing! Uh oh, uh oh...
And then I looked up from my computer, and caught a glimpse in the mirror of my head minus the long weavy locks. I looked crazy! Awww hell naw! I looked over at the new batch of hair sitting off to the side waiting to join forces with me. Damnit, I’m trapped, I thought to myself. I can’t let it go. I am powerless over it. Just when I think I’m done, it pulls me back in!

Now I guess I can get help for my self-loathing addiction.
I can learn to accept myself in my entirety. I can emancipate myself from that which keeps me locked-up. I can embrace the natural state of things.

Yup, I can do all of that…

But don’t hold your breath!

Hi, my name is Joy, and I’m a weave-a-holic.​

LINK

 

[msa]

I thought it was hilarious, especially because folks have been swearing up and down for years that all that was her hair and from the way she talks, her real hair is shorter than Tyra's.

 

[Soliel185]

^^ I will admit that I'm a little surprised that Ms. Crunchy Granola no make-up red velvet cupcakes at the wedding Bryant is a weaveaholic.

I mean - I've worn weave, I don't care, but her apparent adoration for hers seems opposite her public image.

 

[andromeda]

I feel her.

As lboogies siggy says, "Tyra Banks is a terrorist." Joy isn't allowing herself to be terrorized. Good for her...

 

[msa]

^^ I will admit that I'm a little surprised that Ms. Crunchy Granola no make-up red velvet cupcakes at the wedding Bryant is a weaveaholic.

I mean - I've worn weave, I don't care, but her apparent adoration for hers seems opposite her public image.

It is a weird contradiction. She doesn't put on makeup for red carpet events all the while wearing some extensions plus weave.

Like she said, she's addicted. We've never seen her without it.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

I thought it was was satire. She was being facetious, challenging those with a self-righteous attitude about weave and loving oneself. I totally get what she was doing here. Am I slow?

 

[NerdSauce]

I agree.. she went for satirical and it came out bizarre.

The weave thing doesn't have to be personal... but if you're that wedded to weave, isn't that strange? The same way we might look at a woman who feels she can't live without her collagen injections or breast implants... instead of simply prefering them, could take them or leave them, but just takes them sometimes.

Maybe if she was funnier? At the end of the day I guess I feel like.. so whats your point? Is it that I don't TRULY care that she likes weave, so I don't get it?

Maybe its because I on some level feel that if she really didn't give a damn, she wouldn't have had to write about it..

There's a whoooole segment of the population that LOVES to become incensed and offended about everything that comes out of Tyra Banks' mouth. Ok. She's one person. People, singular, say stupid things or things we can't agree with all the time, but when Ty Ty does it its a huge moral issue that never seems to come up with other people. Sure she's a little self absorbed and her delivery can be odd, but if generally missing the point was the exception rather than the rule we wouldn't NEED to have these conversations so frequently. My 2cents on that one.

 

[Soliel185]

I thought it was was satire. She was being facetious, challenging those with a self-righteous attitude about weave and loving oneself. I totally get what she was doing here. Am I slow?

at your siggy.

I understand that it's meant to be satirical - I think perhaps the issue is that for me it seems too close to the truth for it to be entirely sucessful...

Really good satire springboards off a truth and then becomes so ridiculous that it in turns highlights the ridiculousness of the original situation. Where she was going with the Tyra thing I was totally on board with....but when she got to the 'I look crazy' 'I'm addicted' part I was kinda like erplexed

 

[MoMo]

For some odd reason, I always thought that was her hair. Even tho her edges clearly indicated that it was not. Guess I was bamboozled.

 

[Reecie]

I get it, too! erplexed

 

[msa]

For some odd reason, I always thought that was her hair. Even tho her edges clearly indicated that it was not. Guess I was bamboozled.

Let's be honest...lots of folks thought it was her hair because she's light skinned/mixed.

 

[Ediese]

I thought it was was satire. She was being facetious, challenging those with a self-righteous attitude about weave and loving oneself. I totally get what she was doing here. Am I slow?

I really hope that's what she meant by her blog because I saw this on another board, and they were taking her words to heart.

I have nothing against weaves because God knows I wear them. I do have an issue when women start using them as a crutch to feel beautiful, and start relying on them. I don't judge at all though. In the past, I wore weaves because I didn't like the way I looked without them. lol It's funny though because I also didn't like the way my hair looked with 3 weeks of newgrowth, but now I'm natural. People grow and mature all the time.

It's my hope that some women will grow out of the mindset that they 'need' weaves to be beautiful, or that their real hair could never be that long/beautiful. As a matter of fact, I created a site to help women change that old way of thinking. It's suppose to help guide women to the right way to use weaves as a way to 'protective style'. (site under construction lol)

Why weave forever when you can grow your own hair that long and luscious? I remember my cousin saying once that she would wear weaves until the day she dies. look: That's the mentality that I absolutely don't agree with.

 

[-PYT]

All I kept thinking while reading this was, "WTF is this chick's problem?"

 

[MoMo]

Let's be honest...lots of folks thought it was her hair because she's light skinned/mixed.

She's mixed? With what? erplexed

 

[princessnad]

This was a satire. But more so, I think she was making fun of Tyra. Obviously for there to be need for a "Real Hair Day", Tyra must have had some serious issues that she needed to put behind her. I think she was implying that not everyone's issues run that deep.

Maybe she wasn't so successful in her attempt...

 

[locabouthair]

Let's be honest...lots of folks thought it was her hair because she's light skinned/mixed.

Not necessarily. I dont see lots of pics of joy bryant but her hair looked more "real" than beyonce's or tyras. Some weaves/lace fronts just scream fake to me. Hers didnt for some reason, maybe I didnt pay attention like that.

 

[princessnad]

It is a weird contradiction. She doesn't put on makeup for red carpet events all the while wearing some extensions plus weave.

Like she said, she's addicted. We've never seen her without it.

I don't get it. Tyra is lighter and no one thought that was her real hair.

 

[msa]

She's mixed? With what? erplexed

Not necessarily. I dont see lots of pics of joy bryant but her hair looked more "real" than beyonce's or tyras. Some weaves/lace fronts just scream fake to me. Hers didnt for some reason, maybe I didnt pay attention like that.

I don't get it. Tyra is lighter and no one thought that was her real hair.

I'm just going by what people have posted here and other places.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Another one shocked that Joy wears weaves. I get the tone of the message and what she's trying to say. Lol @ her sarcasm about the mystery of Tyra's hair being THE question that has perplexed the world.

I had my braids phase and my weave phase, during my weave phase I did 'at times' feel that attachment like I couldn't be seen without it but I'm glad it wasn't terminal. I do know someone who got into extensions and it's a terminal thing, can not, will not be seen without extensions and has also said she's going to the grave with them.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

at your siggy.

I understand that it's meant to be satirical - I think perhaps the issue is that for me it seems too close to the truth for it to be entirely sucessful...

Really good satire springboards off a truth and then becomes so ridiculous that it in turns highlights the ridiculousness of the original situation. Where she was going with the Tyra thing I was totally on board with....but when she got to the 'I look crazy' 'I'm addicted' part I was kinda like erplexed

LOL!! I thought people were "thanking" my post for being slow.

I do see what you're saying, though. You had go behind the histrionics to get the satire, I guess.

 

[Serenity_Peace]

Not necessarily. I dont see lots of pics of joy bryant but her hair looked more "real" than beyonce's or tyras. Some weaves/lace fronts just scream fake to me. Hers didnt for some reason, maybe I didnt pay attention like that.

I didn't want to admit it, either because ya'll already think I'm *slow* , but I'm glad that I'm not the only one who thought Joy's long hair was hers.

 

[frizzy]

I thought it was her real hair, too. Either way, so what.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Let's be honest...lots of folks thought it was her hair because she's light skinned/mixed.

I thought it was hers because of how natural it always looked. Sometimes it looked lazily styled/put together the way a person with long hair naturally would wear it. Lots of times her hair reminded me of plenty of the long haired ladies I've seen on LHCF

 

[twinkletoes17]

Jealous much?

"It makes me feel...it makes me feel...it makes feel like a natural woman!!!
I can be whatever, whoever I want to be with the stroke of a sewing needle...
With long brown tresses and a tan, I’m Pocahontas, 'cause I got Indian in my family. With easy waves, I AM bohemian rhapsody goddess personified. And now that I got blond highlights! What!? I know I look like Beyonce! You can’t tell me nothing! Uh oh, uh oh..."

Nowhere in her post did she say she felt unique or like herself. A natural woman should feel like herself, not like Pocahontas or Beyonce. I'd much rather look at myself and see my beautiful self rather than a Beyonce or Pocahontas look-alike thanks to artificiality o.o

Sounds like she had too much espresso.

 

[shunemite]

She's mixed? With what? erplexed

She's mixed just the same way I am: with black and blacker

 

[bedazzled]

She gets an immaculate fail because her satire sucks.

Other than that.. I get it. Tyra's a joke.

 

[yardgirl]

I thought it was was satire. She was being facetious, challenging those with a self-righteous attitude about weave and loving oneself. I totally get what she was doing here. Am I slow?

I agree with you. I think people should shut up about other people's hair, bought or grown.

 

[LovinLea]

man, i really thought that was her real hair. i get it but still

especially when she says this: I loooooove taking new hair out of the bag, combing through it with my fingers, holding it up with my two hands, and burying my face in it. Mmmm, mmmm, mmm! Nothing like a new batch of zig-zag curly to get your self esteem out of the dumps!

i don't need a pack of hair to get self esteem. she sounds like she's nothing without some weave, which is just too much.

and i love my half wigs so i'm not hating on fake hair

 

[beans4reezy]

I would hope this is satire. I knew her hair wasn't real, but a the same time, she has a beautiful face. Weave or not, I feel she has a really pretty face; it looks like she needs to realize this for herself.

 

[longhairlover]

i'm disappointed because I always thought her hair was real, especially since most of the time it looks unkept, smh. and yeah the article is sad, and she never mentioned taking care of her real hair underneath the weaves just her love for a new weave. I don't have anything against weaves especially being in the industry you don't want your real hair handled everyday and abused but she's obsessed with the weaves.