The saddest thing in the world is....

H

HotCoCoGurl130

New Member
seeing a little girl with a weave. My cousin has a 3 year old daughter and she goes to school. My cousin says that there is this little girl there that has a full sewn in weave. I think this is ridiculous and its a shame b/c her hair is starting our unhealthy and b/c of this she may not have healthy hair. Why do mothers do this to their children? What happened to pig tails and little afro puffs?
 
I agree with you on this. I know of a child that's two years old and wears extensions!!!! Her hair hasn't grown in fully yet - she's just a baby for goodness sake. Right now, it's very sparse in the back and on the sides. The longest hair is on top being approximately one inch in length. Does that stop her caregiver from giving this baby a full head of extensions! Absolutely not.
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Both of these situations are crazy and you know if the mother is crazy enough to put in the weaves or extensions then she's probably not taking care of the little gir's real hair at all.
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I saw a little girl this summer, she must have been about 3 years old, with a bonded raggy, weave, and tracks showing everywhere, and her hair was probably 3C but it was knotted in places and not laying down anywhere. I looked at the mother (I assumed she was the mother) and she had a weave also, but her weave was together. It was SAD, SAD, SAD.
 
I think a lot of little girls are tenderheaded and therefore their moms don't comb their hair out from the roots to the end. Therefore, they do nothing, use weaves, or put in relaxers at an early age.
 
I agree also that a little girl with weave is sad, but on another note... Every morning I see this teenaged black girl, who has the most beautiful waist length relaxed hair I have ever seen. She wears it out all the time, lately. However, everyday when she gets on the bus and sits down, she is constantly finger parting her scalp and pulling with her fingers. She makes it quite obvious (Ive noticed others looking on strangely as well), I wondered for a long time why she does this, it was almost like she was trying to show everyone her scalp....Then it finally hit me. This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt. At that moment, I felt like that was was saddest thing in the world. The possibility that this girl has to deal with most people thinking that her waist length hair is not her's. After I realized what I thought she was doing, I made it a point to tell her how beautiful I thought her hair was. Sorry guys, I know this came out of left field but this is what I thought of when I saw the title of this post.
 
[ QUOTE ]
HoneyLemonDrop said:
I agree also that a little girl with weave is sad, but on another note... Every morning I see this teenaged black girl, who has the most beautiful waist length relaxed hair I have ever seen. She wears it out all the time, lately. However, everyday when she gets on the bus and sits down, she is constantly finger parting her scalp and pulling with her fingers. She makes it quite obvious (Ive noticed others looking on strangely as well), I wondered for a long time why she does this, it was almost like she was trying to show everyone her scalp....Then it finally hit me. This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt. At that moment, I felt like that was was saddest thing in the world. The possibility that this girl has to deal with most people thinking that her waist length hair is not her's. After I realized what I thought she was doing, I made it a point to tell her how beautiful I thought her hair was. Sorry guys, I know this came out of left field but this is what I thought of when I saw the title of this post.

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How sad
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Lord only knows what kind of haters that girl has had to deal with if she has resorted to showing everyone her scalp all the time.
 
[ QUOTE ]
HoneyLemonDrop said:
I agree also that a little girl with weave is sad, but on another note... Every morning I see this teenaged black girl, who has the most beautiful waist length relaxed hair I have ever seen. She wears it out all the time, lately. However, everyday when she gets on the bus and sits down, she is constantly finger parting her scalp and pulling with her fingers. She makes it quite obvious (Ive noticed others looking on strangely as well), I wondered for a long time why she does this, it was almost like she was trying to show everyone her scalp....Then it finally hit me. This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt. At that moment, I felt like that was was saddest thing in the world. The possibility that this girl has to deal with most people thinking that her waist length hair is not her's. After I realized what I thought she was doing, I made it a point to tell her how beautiful I thought her hair was. Sorry guys, I know this came out of left field but this is what I thought of when I saw the title of this post.

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Yes, this is indeed sad. However, we cannot control how people treat us; but we can control how we react to their treatment. This girl is obviously stressing and I think cares too much what people think. Though my hair is not waist length (yet
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), it is very thick and sometimes when I rollerset it or do a nice braidout; ladies stare at my hair and sometimes stand thisclose looking for tracks
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.

What do I do? Nothing. What they think of me is none of my business.

Chichi
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PS As for the poor little girls with weaves, WOW
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! I have never ever heard about this. Too bad.
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You know ladies. I see this often as well. I just posted about a women at my local gym who had extensions and braids all over her daughter's hair. About 2 and 5 years of age.
Often this is done for convience. If these are young mothers, who are either working or have there time preoccupied doing something else.... a weave can compansate for time they don't wish to spend their child's hair or child period.
It is much easier for some to weave and go and not educate on how to obtain child's physical appearance.
I was sadden over the fact that a young mother with a bi-racial daughter had allowed her daughter's hair to lock up at the age of 3 because she did not take care of her daughter's hair. By the time she was four she put a relaxer in her hair. This was outrageous since the young mother is a beauticain at one of the local salons. Her daughter is now six. Three years later she has dry, brittle hair that has not exceeded 5 inches in length. I only assume the weave will come next.

4a/natural
medium texture
growing like crazy
 
[ QUOTE ]
HoneyLemonDrop said:
I agree also that a little girl with weave is sad, but on another note... Every morning I see this teenaged black girl, who has the most beautiful waist length relaxed hair I have ever seen. She wears it out all the time, lately. However, everyday when she gets on the bus and sits down, she is constantly finger parting her scalp and pulling with her fingers. She makes it quite obvious (Ive noticed others looking on strangely as well), I wondered for a long time why she does this, it was almost like she was trying to show everyone her scalp....Then it finally hit me. This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt. At that moment, I felt like that was was saddest thing in the world. The possibility that this girl has to deal with most people thinking that her waist length hair is not her's. After I realized what I thought she was doing, I made it a point to tell her how beautiful I thought her hair was. Sorry guys, I know this came out of left field but this is what I thought of when I saw the title of this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

do you think you could get her to join the board?
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and about the child with a full weave, that's crazy. i hope the mother comes to her senses eventually.
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when I was four I had braids, i had to have weave in my hair, unless my hair would fall out.
 
That IS sad, sad, sad
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I have THREE girls, okay, and yes it is difficult to get their hair together and as they get older it will get even harder because the younger two are only 1 and 2 years old, but my 7 yo has waist length NATURAL hair which is a pita to look after. I fight the urge to relax her hair every day...yes, I know it takes time to do your child's hair and yes, they may cry bloody murder (at least mine does), but to weave or relax a child's head for the convenience of the mother is just plain wrong. Children are only children for a little while and mothers (aunties and grandmas too) need to be teaching their little girls that their hair is beautiful and worth spending time and effort on.

Woo let me just hop off that soap box right now...
 
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This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt.

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This is sad. People are so weird. Short hair, long hair, nappy hair, straight hair, curly hair, etc. You can't win!
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This reminds me of a story from the book 'Tenderheaded'. The author felt ashamed because she is black and had long, naturally straight hair. She said something like, "Having good hair didn't make me feel very good at all."
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[ QUOTE ]
BlackCardinal said:
[ QUOTE ]
HoneyLemonDrop said:
I agree also that a little girl with weave is sad, but on another note... Every morning I see this teenaged black girl, who has the most beautiful waist length relaxed hair I have ever seen. She wears it out all the time, lately. However, everyday when she gets on the bus and sits down, she is constantly finger parting her scalp and pulling with her fingers. She makes it quite obvious (Ive noticed others looking on strangely as well), I wondered for a long time why she does this, it was almost like she was trying to show everyone her scalp....Then it finally hit me. This poor thing is probably soooo tired of people thinking that her hair is fake that she goes out her way to show that it isnt. At that moment, I felt like that was was saddest thing in the world. The possibility that this girl has to deal with most people thinking that her waist length hair is not her's. After I realized what I thought she was doing, I made it a point to tell her how beautiful I thought her hair was. Sorry guys, I know this came out of left field but this is what I thought of when I saw the title of this post.

[/ QUOTE ]

How sad
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Lord only knows what kind of haters that girl has had to deal with if she has resorted to showing everyone her scalp all the time.

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I totally relate to that poor girl. When I was a kid, I was one of the only black girls who had long hair. One day in class a boy pointed to one of the "mixed" girls who had long hair and said "hair" and then pointed to me and said, "weave" and kept singing this over and over again. Almost every time I wear my hair down and straight I get somebody (white or black) asking me if it's my real hair. I even had the black girls in my high school (that I thought were my friends) go around and tell all the white girls that I was wearing a wig. Usually I just smile and answer nicely- but I have found myself running my hands through my hair and then realizing it was probably a subconscious attempt to show that my hair was real.
 
I agree with you but I also feel that some of the blame should be placed on the hairdresser doing the weaves/extensions as well as the mothers (mainly the mothers). I just feel that no decent self respecting quality beautician should do this to a child they should set standards/age limits on which they will do this. This is that childs hair and its worth more that the few dollars they are going to be paid.
 
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ladydee36330 said:
I agree with you but I also feel that some of the blame should be placed on the hairdresser doing the weaves/extensions as well as the mothers (mainly the mothers). I just feel that no decent self respecting quality beautician should do this to a child they should set standards/age limits on which they will do this. This is that childs hair and its worth more that the few dollars they are going to be paid.

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I agree completely! My 18 month old's hair hasn't grown in as well on the sides either, and I wouldn't even think about a weave! I have been washing her hair regularly ...about once per week and keeping it fully moisturized. It is beginning to come in nicely.
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I agree with all of you. And for that teenage girl doing that, I can relate to that also. My stepdaughter didn't get a perm until she was 12 years old and her hair is all one length - bra-strap. When she was in 8th grade, my husband was astounded that another middle-schooler asked her if her hair was real. She told him that she gets that all the time.

When I took my youngest daughter in to get her hair washed and conditioned for the 1st time at the salon, I was asked twice if my hair was real. Simply because it had a lot of thickness (primarily because of the 10 weeks new growth underneath) but I had it down and curled with Caruso rollers and it had been washed the night before (I had finally found the system that I needed to get my hair healthy and it was definitely looking in good health that day). And get this, the stylist asked me first (not the one that was washing my daughter's hair). And all the time I'm thinking, do you not see my child's hair and how much she has? She got that from somewhere. And the stylist that was doing my daughter's hair said to me that her ends needed trimming. Uhhmmm. Did you not hear me when I said all I want you to do is to wash it, condition it and put it in ponytails? No blow-drying!!! Her ends did not need trimming - they were dry. The salon deep conditioner was to be the first of her journey to healthy hair from root to end which I have accomplished without a stylists help.

My daughter screams bloody murder, but I am not opposed to putting her hair in a "poofball". I think it's cute and she enjoys my not combing her hair out every day. It doesn't knot because I go through it every day moisturizing it. I detangle with my hands without the comb.

A good friend of mine who is a beautician actually put a perm in her daughter's hair when she was about 3 and she really did regret it - especially when she saw me keep my daughter's hair natural because she knew that I was not the one to be doing hair. I barely did my own. But I'm not necessarily about what is easier. My husband has a mantra that he makes sure that I know - he was seething when my stepdaughter's mother had the perm put in her hair "Health over beauty." And he firmly believes that perms are unhealthy. I guess he can say that - he has a Ph.D. in Molecular Microbiology. And believe me I know everything that can possibly kill me if I just look at it funny.
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My niece had the BIGGEST bald spot in the back of her head when she was a baby up until the time she was like 3 years old. Her mother just took care of her hair normally, no weaves, extensions or anything. My little niece was running arouund happily with her bald spot. Now she's 7 and has has mid back length natural hair. I learned the lesson that you shouldn't do anything drastic to a child's hair.

My own mother gave me a relaxer too early, I was about 7 and my hair broke off terribly. It was long, but not very long (3 inches past my shoulder). She doesn't know about hair the way my sister in law does. i remeber once in the 3rd grade she let me get waist lenght extensions. So I grew up having hair problems and believeing that my hair was ugly and wanting "white people" hair.

It's a shame that some little girls have to go through that.
 
I find it hard to believe a two or three year old could sit through that!
 
[ QUOTE ]
heather06 said:
do you think you could get her to join the board?
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and about the child with a full weave, that's crazy. i hope the mother comes to her senses eventually.
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Probably not, I havent gotten up the courage to tell friends that I am on the board yet let alone strangers. Im the only one I know that is so into hair. It's like my secret obsession. I will tell somebody soon though... Another thing that is sad is that my best friend has been relaxing her daughter's hair since she was 5. And now she is 14 with two huge bald spots on both sides of her head. I warned her that it would happen, but she said relaxing the child's hair made it more managable, and on top of the relaxer, the barrettes used to be so damn tight. Sadly, (back then) I understood her logic, but at the same time the child has gotten a big ole willie (hairline just diminishing
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)
 
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