The Mind Is Funny...

Do you. The only thing I would say is, from looking at your album it seems like you wear your hair down a lot. Maybe your hair is rubbing against clothing still?:look:

But do what's best for you.
 
I dunno I relaxed my hair after transitioning(only for 12 weeks, but it still counts:lachen::rolleyes:) and I really felt good about what I was doing(transitioning). Now I kinda regret it(relaxing)!:perplexed I like to be able to switch. Kinky one day, straight the next. And relaxed hair is permanent. Why am I saying this? Because anything you think about over and over in the mind, you eventually produce. Try to disdain the thought, and see if you reaaallllyyyy feel that way, and if you do, than proceed!:yep:
 
Hey Poohbear, I completely understand how you feel and I wish you the best with whatever decision you make.
 
Sometimes when you are on a journey, you travel in more than one direction. Hakuna Matata, Your hair will be beautiful regardless. :grin:
 
Awww... it's too bad that you're having hair blues.

I'd think about it for a few more weeks. You've put a lot of work into your hair for it to undergo a drastic change.

I went through a similar situation. Earlier this year I was 100% natural, but I HATED not being able to see any length. It would look like I had an inch of hair!:wallbash:

I also have very resistant hair. The relaxer didn't take all the way :( My hair is REAAAALY resistant, it's completely possible for you to get straighter result than me.

My hair can get straight much easier than when it was natural. With a rollerset and a hooded dryer, no need for a flat iron unless I want it super duper silky... just like a relaxed head.

I also have a lot less shrinkage. I would say it doubled the "length" of my hair. It still doesn't show the true length, but I'm much happier with it.

I'm sure whatever you decide, your hair will look fab :yep: Good luck!
 
Glad you've got positive feedback. You know, I believe that the idea of relaxing, texturizing, going natural, etc. crosses all of our minds because they are OPTIONS. We have so many choices out there and from being here, we know how to do it successfully.

I've been natural since '91 and honestly, the thought of change does cross my mind because I'm just a change it up sort of girl. I just don't quite know what that change will be because there are soooo many darn options. LOL!

I can relate to the change in the health of your hair relaxed vs. naturals. I'm one of the rarities that had less splits, etc. when my hair was relaxed....and this is Hot n Golding the mess out of it EVERYDAY sometimes TWICE a day. Go figure...:look:

p1

eta: Playing advocate sort of locks you into a position. I think about my siggy over on nappturality and, well, I've painted myself into a corner for sure. LOL!!!
 
I completely understand how you feel. That's why I decided to stay texlaxed. I'm more interested in growing my hair long than being natural or relaxed so I'm with you there.

Do whatever makes you feel happy. It's your hair :)
 
I've had natural hair for 3 years & 2 months so far, and I've been a strong natural hair advocate ever since. For the past week, why have I been contemplating relaxing my hair!?!? :blush: My mind has been spinning about the whole idea. I thought once I went natural, I was going to be natural for life, and now look at me thinking about relaxing. Not because of any pictures, not because of what anyone has said, but I'm starting feel like having straight hair will be less of a hassle for me. I have enjoyed doing all types of hairstyles with my natural hair, but you know what? I have gotten tired of styling my hair in all those different styles. I miss rollersets, I just want to rollerset it and wear it straight, and don't have to worry about it shrinking. But another thing that some may not agree with... having natural hair has wrecked havoc on my ends...I have never had splits until I started wearing my hair naturally. Also, my natural hair hates water. You know how some naturals say "I don't have to run from the rain" well I could never say that because I do. With relaxed hair, I didn't care about my hair getting wet as much as I did with natural hair. I like being in water and going swimming and I also like to workout and break a sweat. With natural hair, my hair shrinks and tangles to high heavens. I love wearing my hair in a BIG afro, but when I workout at the gym, it shrinks and the ends get tangly. If I want to wear straight hair, I don't want to go through the hassle of blowdrying, pressing, and flat-ironing my hair each time. I would rather just rollerset, let it dry, and go. And one last thing... now, I just want long hair that appears long. Not for anyone else, I just want long hair for me. I feel like having relaxed hair would be easier for me to show length. But I don't know, those have been a few of my thoughts. I haven't relaxed my hair yet because I am scared to death of feeling the burn on my scalp and I'm afraid to relax it myself or let anyone else relax it, and I'm afraid the relaxer won't take on my very resistant hair...


I agree and soooo relate with many of the things you have mentioned. I especially relate with the "appearing long" feeling. I am constantly trying to style my hair in way that will show my length. My shrinkage is crazy.

At times, I feel that I would rather relax, with the loads of information on this site I could stretch and surely reach my hair goals. The reason why I haven't crossed over is because I'm a punk. I don't want to make any decisions, and not be ready for the MULTIPLE possible outcomes. I don't want to mess up what I have already because the grass always looks greener on the other side.

I really have no advice for you. I just hope you find comfort in knowing you aren't the only natural with these feelings and make a decision solely based on what you believe is best for you and your lifestyle.
 
I was thinking of relaxing, too. I got a haircut tho that got me a shape back and clean ends, so now I'm happy again. I'd wait a bit to make sure this is really what you want, and if so go for it. You made progress so quickly before that if you decided to go natural again, you'd get your length back in no time. You have a LOT of hair tho, so if you decide to relax you might want to look up those threads about relaxing in sections/doing half the head or less and then the rest. With so much hair, by the time you would get it throughout your hair and properly smoothed in, you would have had it in too long in some places, and it needs to be timed right.

Relaxed or natural, you have the experience under your belt and can continue to be a resource of iinformation and source of inspiration for others wanting to be natural. Just because you've changed your mind about what is best for you at this time in your life, that doesnt invalidate all you've learned and what you can share with others.
 
Hey Pooh:

We were newbies together and I've tracked your journey from relaxed, to BC and twa to that gorgeous head of natural and the challenges you shared with us through it all.

Whatever road you choose to take in continuing your journey, I'm sure will be all good because you are equiped with some serious knowledge and experience caring for both your natural and relaxed hair. . .

I have no advice either way, just checking in to say you were beautiful relaxed, you are beautiful natural . . .
 
:grin:I didn't read all of the answers you've got but here is what I think, DON'T FIX IT IF IT'S NOT BROKEN:grin:. I am relaxed and have been relaxed for so many years now. I never felt the need to go natural cause my hair is healthy and has become even healthier from the moment I joined LHCF. In your case, your natural hair seems healthy and gorgeous, so why would you change a recipe that works for you. Your concerns are more about styling than healthy hair, so maybe you just need to find the right style for your hair and stick to it. Relaxed and natural hairs have their pros and their cons, so give you a chance by listing them side to side before you make your decision. Good luck:yep:
 
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List all of the pros and cons of being natural and pros and cons of a relaxer. You listed the cons of natural and the pros of a relaxer. You may find all cons for not relaxing and still decide to relax or visa versa. There is nothing wrong with having a strong mind set toward one thing (being natural) and then do a 180 and go the opposite way (relaxer). The people we meet, challenges we face, and new experiences all can affect and shape how we perceive things and sometimes create a need or want for change.

I can relate to being natural and wanting the ease of relaxed hair and when I was permed wanting my natural hair back. The grass is always greener on the other side. Not quite as difficult as quitting a job and then deciding that you want it back. So, I vote to be happy and comfortable with your hair. If at this point in life you feel that you no longer wish to deal with natural hair and that it is damaging your ends. Then do what you feel best fits your needs at this point in your life. You may relax and decide to go natural again. And that is O.K. Or you may relax and never look back. And that is O.K. too. But, the great thing about either choice is that your hair that will grow back whichever route you take. Good luck and happy choosing.
 
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Hey Jessica...how are you, anyway?

Well, how long have you been thinking about this? I say give it a bit of time and see if the desire passes. I don't say that because I have something against relaxers. It's just the permanent nature of them that makes me say give it time. But you can always big chop again one day or transition out again if you ultimately don't like it, right?

Other than that, do what you want with your own hair. You surely don't have to give explanations of any kind. Honestly, I understand where you are coming from on some of your thoughts.
Thanks for asking. I've been feeling better. I have only been thinking about relaxing for a week so far.
 
Hey Poohbear,

I hear what you are saying loud and clear - shrinkage (for some) is no JOKE!

Do whatever you feel is best for YOU! But I would hate for you to relax, only to decide that you want natural hair and then have to start all over again.

Maybe you could get an easier style like braids or twists for summer, and save the 'out' styles for cooler weather when your hair will revert less.

Either way - have HAIR fun!
But see, I like wearing my hair down and out. I hate wearing braids and twists because of shrinkage. And those styles make me look like a little girl and I'm tired of looking that way, I want to look like a woman.
 
I remember when she first went natural she had heat damage just from one time

thats probably why she isnt thinking at all along those lines
No, that's not why because I've been straightening my own hair with heat ever since that incident with no problems. ;)

I just feel like if I want to wear my hair straight most of the time, it would be less time consuming if I just had relaxed hair than if I straighten my natural hair with heat all the time, ya know?
 
:grin:I didn't read all of the answers you've got but here is what I think, DON'T FIX IT IF IT'S NOT BROKEN:grin:. I am relaxed and have been relaxed for so many years now. I never felt the need to go natural cause my hair is healthy and has become even healthier from the moment I joined LHCF. In your case, your natural hair seems healthy and gorgeous, so why would you change a recipe that works for you. Your concerns are more about styling than healthy hair, so maybe you just need to find the right style for your hair and stick to it. Relaxed and natural hairs have their pros and their cons, so give you a chance by listing them side to side before you make your decision. Good luck:yep:
That's true, but I don't feel that I need to fix something that's broken. I feel like I have healthy natural hair and I have had healthy relaxed hair before. However, when I look at my ends on natural hair, there are splits galore and single strand knots (not anymore though, I just got a haircut a few days ago). When I had relaxed hair, I NEVER had splits or knots. Wearing my hair naturally or in natural styles like afros, twists, twistouts causes splits and tangles on my hair because of it's hair texture. My hair is very very very tightly coiled. When my hair is straight, I have no problems with knots and splits. That's the only reason I've been thinking about relaxing.
 
That's a good idea. Also, maybe you could try texturizing/texlaxing your hair; that way, its more manageable yet you still have some of the wave/body of your natural hair.
I think I would rather relax bone straight than to texturize. I don't want to deal with any texture if I do decide to use chemicals to straighten my hair.
 
I think I would rather relax bone straight than to texturize. I don't want to deal with any texture if I do decide to use chemicals to straighten my hair.

I hear you and agree. That whole "texlaxed is the best of both worlds" thing was NOT true for me. Why do touchups and deal with chemicals just to have almost natural hair? :nono:
 
Pooh, why don't you get it straightened a couple of times to see how you feel about straight hair? Like others have said, make sure before you do something so permanent.

Perhaps you could be a straight-haired natural? Whipz and Pinkskates wear their hair primarily straight, and it works for them. Heat stretched hair can get you similar results, without the chemicals and touch-ups.

If you do end up relaxing, you can always go back to natural later on in life.:yep:
Yeah, I think I will just straighten my natural hair for awhile before getting it relaxed. If I get tired of straightening my natural hair, I might relax, I don't know. My hair is getting longer, and I just hate wash days. I can't airdry and my hair doesn't like airdrying. I have to blowdry my hair and it takes about an hour to blowdry all my hair. I like wearing a big blowdried fro, but then it starts to shrink when I'm outside, or at the gym, or around bodies of water, or at work, and when I go to sleep it may get smashed. And I don't like when it shrinks because of tangles. I don't want to have to pick it out because combing dry natural hair causes splits on my hair.
 
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POOHBEAR I love your hair and I'm sure that you will take the good decision you know what you feel so follow your aspiration ,God bless U .
Cecilie .
 
That's true, but I don't feel that I need to fix something that's broken. I feel like I have healthy natural hair and I have had healthy relaxed hair before. However, when I look at my ends on natural hair, there are splits galore and single strand knots (not anymore though, I just got a haircut a few days ago). When I had relaxed hair, I NEVER had splits or knots. Wearing my hair naturally or in natural styles like afros, twists, twistouts causes splits and tangles on my hair because of it's hair texture. My hair is very very very tightly coiled. When my hair is straight, I have no problems with knots and splits. That's the only reason I've been thinking about relaxing.

Well, I feel your pain, I was natural and I know what you're talking about. My 4a hair was a nightmare to detangle on wash days... I am not joking, the breakages were incredible so that's why I relaxed my hair 15 yrs ago. Probably some hair was not meant to be natural. Good luck, you"ll be beautiful whatever your decision.
 
Poohbear, you have some of the most beautiful natural hair!!! But I suspect that you would have a head of beautiful relaxed hair too! Either way it's :lick:
Good luck with your decision!
 
PB see thats why I shouldnt have been speaking for ya! I aint been around enough since back then enough to know what you been doing :grin:

whatever you decide , as long as its the right thing for you thats all that matters :yep:
 
Originally posted by lauren450
I hear you and agree. That whole "texlaxed is the best of both worlds" thing was NOT true for me. Why do touchups and deal with chemicals just to have almost natural hair? :nono:

Awwww....lauren450 stop reading my mind!!!
I've been asking myself that question ever since joining LHCF. :spinning:

And PB...I know, you know a lot about healthy hair care practices; so whatever you decide your hair will be pretty and well taken care of!
 
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