I kinda started off the way you did, *thinking* I wanted to go natural but not really being sure. So when I decided to try, I didn't think of it as "I'm going natural period point blank"...I just told myself that I was going to hold out on getting a relaxer as long as I could, and if I wanted to relax at any time, then I would be okay with that. I guess I didn't make "being natural" my end goal (I frequently play mindgames with myself like this) And I used that time of not getting a relaxer to really think about whether I wanted to be natural...the more and more new growth I got, the more I loved it and decided that I would continue to transition (Then I just cut it off...lol)
So maybe if you just see where the no relaxer phase takes you and use that time to figure out if this is what you really want, then that could help you make a decision. Good luck though.
This is similar to how I ended up being natural. I always had problems with scalp irritation. It was feeling really bad one time and it was close to time for a relaxer. And I said, wait this is stupid, why am I going to put chemicals on my scalp while it already feels so bad? So I said, I would hold off on relaxing for a while. Then I was like, why not see if I can just hold off forever and stop getting relaxers?