The Mind Is Funny...

[Poohbear]

I've had natural hair for 3 years & 2 months so far, and I've been a strong natural hair advocate ever since. For the past week, why have I been contemplating relaxing my hair!?!? My mind has been spinning about the whole idea. I thought once I went natural, I was going to be natural for life, and now look at me thinking about relaxing. Not because of any pictures, not because of what anyone has said, but I'm starting feel like having straight hair will be less of a hassle for me. I have enjoyed doing all types of hairstyles with my natural hair, but you know what? I have gotten tired of styling my hair in all those different styles. I miss rollersets, I just want to rollerset it and wear it straight, and don't have to worry about it shrinking. But another thing that some may not agree with... having natural hair has wrecked havoc on my ends...I have never had splits until I started wearing my hair naturally. Also, my natural hair hates water. You know how some naturals say "I don't have to run from the rain" well I could never say that because I do. With relaxed hair, I didn't care about my hair getting wet as much as I did with natural hair. I like being in water and going swimming and I also like to workout and break a sweat. With natural hair, my hair shrinks and tangles to high heavens. I love wearing my hair in a BIG afro, but when I workout at the gym, it shrinks and the ends get tangly. If I want to wear straight hair, I don't want to go through the hassle of blowdrying, pressing, and flat-ironing my hair each time. I would rather just rollerset, let it dry, and go. And one last thing... now, I just want long hair that appears long. Not for anyone else, I just want long hair for me. I feel like having relaxed hair would be easier for me to show length. But I don't know, those have been a few of my thoughts. I haven't relaxed my hair yet because I am scared to death of feeling the burn on my scalp and I'm afraid to relax it myself or let anyone else relax it, and I'm afraid the relaxer won't take on my very resistant hair...

 

[ladylibra]

girl boo, everything doesn't work for everyone! being natural doesn't always equal easier... depending on your hairstyle preferences and lifestyle.

i wish i had some witty words of wisdom to make you wanna stay natural... but i don't. and as i've said before i'm not "anti" anything so... i want you to make the best decision for you. consider it carefully is the best advice i can give you. i'll still stalk your Fotki either way

 

[1QTPie]

I never knew that natural hair was a hassle. Dead serious.


Regardless, good luck with whatever decision you make.

 

[Poohbear]

I never knew that natural hair was a hassle. Dead serious.


Regardless, good luck with whatever decision you make.

I'm just say my natural hair can be a hassle at times for me, not everyone's natural hair.

 

[JustKiya]

Whhhooooooooooo.

That's a place to be in. I don't know what to tell you. It might be a good idea to invoke the 2 month rule, here - just to be sure that you know your own mind. Have you considered weaving it up, to be sure that you'll be happy with your relaxed options?

And if you do know that you know your mind, then girl, do you, and don't feel the least bit bad about it!

 

[Poohbear]

girl boo, everything doesn't work for everyone! being natural doesn't always equal easier... depending on your hairstyle preferences and lifestyle.

i wish i had some witty words of wisdom to make you wanna stay natural... but i don't. and as i've said before i'm not "anti" anything so... i want you to make the best decision for you. consider it carefully is the best advice i can give you. i'll still stalk your Fotki either way

Yeah, you're right, but I never thought natural hair was easier per se... I just like the fact that I don't have to worry about getting a relaxer.

And I'll always be stalking your album.

 

[Poohbear]

Whhhooooooooooo.

That's a place to be in. I don't know what to tell you. It might be a good idea to invoke the 2 month rule, here - just to be sure that you know your own mind. Have you considered weaving it up, to be sure that you'll be happy with your relaxed options?

And if you do know that you know your mind, then girl, do you, and don't feel the least bit bad about it!

No, I hate weaves, lol.

And if I do decide to relax it, I won't feel bad about it... I think I may cry if I do relax it... but the beauty of hair is that I can always grow it back out naturally if I want it natural again.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

You will still be an advocate and example of great natural hair even if you relax. Your natural hair is gorgeous and I'm sure your relaxed hair will be just as beautiful!

Picking a relaxer and deciding WHO to let do it is a big decision. I know you want it to come out right. But you'll know the right answers when the time is right

 

[PocaNJ]

Whhhooooooooooo.

That's a place to be in. I don't know what to tell you. It might be a good idea to invoke the 2 month rule, here - just to be sure that you know your own mind. Have you considered weaving it up, to be sure that you'll be happy with your relaxed options?

And if you do know that you know your mind, then girl, do you, and don't feel the least bit bad about it!

That's a good idea. Also, maybe you could try texturizing/texlaxing your hair; that way, its more manageable yet you still have some of the wave/body of your natural hair.

 

[Cichelle]

Hey Jessica...how are you, anyway?

Well, how long have you been thinking about this? I say give it a bit of time and see if the desire passes. I don't say that because I have something against relaxers. It's just the permanent nature of them that makes me say give it time. But you can always big chop again one day or transition out again if you ultimately don't like it, right?

Other than that, do what you want with your own hair. You surely don't have to give explanations of any kind. Honestly, I understand where you are coming from on some of your thoughts.

 

[AVE One]

At the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy. I will agree with JustKiya to go for the 2 month evaluation. Your hair is gorgeous! If you do choose to relax I suggest having at least 3 different consultations with professionals that specialize in healthy scalp/hair care and chemical applications on virgin hair. You will know that they know what they are doing if they drop the right lingo, actually look at your scalp, and study your strands. Keep us posted!

 

[Irresistible]

yeah I say sit on this for a while , let it stew, and marinate just to be sure your doing absolutely whats right for you and pray on it too

 

[Irresistible]

These ladies that are so quick with the star ratings on threads are a trip!

 

[nurseN98]

I agree with everyone else, think about it to make sure it's something you want to do. I wish I could tell you not to do it but I can't...I had my own battle not to long ago. A trim and finally finding some nice products with cones in them helped me but I see where you are coming from.

 

[nurseN98]

These ladies that are so quick with the star ratings on threads are a trip!

I'm sayin....

 

[CurliDiva]

Hey Poohbear,

I hear what you are saying loud and clear - shrinkage (for some) is no JOKE!

Do whatever you feel is best for YOU! But I would hate for you to relax, only to decide that you want natural hair and then have to start all over again.

Maybe you could get an easier style like braids or twists for summer, and save the 'out' styles for cooler weather when your hair will revert less.

Either way - have HAIR fun!

 

[Southernbella.]

Pooh, why don't you get it straightened a couple of times to see how you feel about straight hair? Like others have said, make sure before you do something so permanent.

Perhaps you could be a straight-haired natural? Whipz and Pinkskates wear their hair primarily straight, and it works for them. Heat stretched hair can get you similar results, without the chemicals and touch-ups.

If you do end up relaxing, you can always go back to natural later on in life.

 

[Irresistible]

I remember when she first went natural she had heat damage just from one time

thats probably why she isnt thinking at all along those lines

 

[Southernbella.]

I remember when she first went natural she had heat damage just from one time

thats probably why she isnt thinking at all along those lines

Oh, I didn't know that. But if you think about it, relaxing, which essentially damages the natural hair, involves chemicals on the scalp. Heat is the lesser of two evils, in this case, because although the hair would be "damaged", the scalp would be untouched, and she wouldn't have to deal with touchups.

 

[Irresistible]

Oh, I didn't know that. But if you think about it, relaxing, which essentially damages the natural hair, involves chemicals on the scalp. Heat is the lesser of two evils, in this case, because although the hair would be "damaged", the scalp would be untouched, and she wouldn't have to deal with touchups.

I dunno girl but I bet she feels her hair did better with relaxers and no heat out of the two

ok let me stop speaking for her

 

[Southernbella.]

I dunno girl but I bet she feels her hair did better with relaxers and no heat out of the two

ok let me stop speaking for her

It's cool. It was just a suggestion.

Whatever makes you happy, Pooh! Your relaxed hair was healthy and thick, so I'm sure you'll be fine with whatever you choose.

 

[Irresistible]

It's cool. It was just a suggestion.

Whatever makes you happy, Pooh! Your relaxed hair was healthy and thick, so I'm sure you'll be fine with whatever you choose.

I know gurrrl I aint trippin

I just need to stop speaking for her *zips it up*

 

[Jaane]

So, uh, yeah... I have nothing to add I just wanted to say Iris's siggy pic with the waves/ water effect is hot! (Tiptoes back to lurker status)

 

[SunnyDelight]

the beauty of hair is that I can always grow it back out naturally if I want it natural again.

This is EXACTLY what I tell myself whenever I'm making a hair decision. Natural hair is what grows out of our scalps so you know you can be natural again.

 

[Irresistible]

So, uh, yeah... I have nothing to add I just wanted to say Iris's siggy pic with the waves/ water effect is hot! (Tiptoes back to lurker status)

hehe Thank u Jaane!

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

I say do what works best for you

 

[Desarae]

I'm starting feel like having straight hair will be less of a hassle for me. I have enjoyed doing all types of hairstyles with my natural hair, but you know what? I have gotten tired of styling my hair in all those different styles. I miss rollersets, I just want to rollerset it and wear it straight, and don't have to worry about it shrinking. But another thing that some may not agree with... having natural hair has wrecked havoc on my ends...I have never had splits until I started wearing my hair naturally. Also, my natural hair hates water. You know how some naturals say "I don't have to run from the rain" well I could never say that because I do. With relaxed hair, I didn't care about my hair getting wet as much as I did with natural hair. I like being in water and going swimming and I also like to workout and break a sweat. With natural hair, my hair shrinks and tangles to high heavens. I love wearing my hair in a BIG afro, but when I workout at the gym, it shrinks and the ends get tangly. If I want to wear straight hair, I don't want to go through the hassle of blowdrying, pressing, and flat-ironing my hair each time. I would rather just rollerset, let it dry, and go. And one last thing... now, I just want long hair that appears long. Not for anyone else, I just want long hair for me. I feel like having relaxed hair would be easier for me to show length. But I don't know, those have been a few of my thoughts. I haven't relaxed my hair yet because I am scared to death of feeling the burn on my scalp and I'm afraid to relax it myself or let anyone else relax it, and I'm afraid the relaxer won't take on my very resistant hair...

I relaxed my hair for all the above reasons, especially the part about the ends. I had to chop an inch to and inch and a half after I relaxed, because I finally got to see my ends and there were knots and splits galore! I was much more worried about my hair as a natural, than when I was relaxed, like, when I can set out a block of time to style it, and how long it will take. And running from the rain when wearing "out-styles" because trust me, loose cnapp hair+rain=a hot mess and tangles that cannot be undone, no matter how much conditioner you put on it, and ultimately I was losing a lot of hair. I like wearing my hair in lots of different styles as a natural and that's a no-no when you have super kinky hair. You have to put it in one style and leave it alone if you want long hair and that just did not fit my lifestyle. I started my journey wanting long hair, and I believe I will retain more length relaxed than natural. I'm also less stressed about my hair and I can wash and go without a lot of shrinkage. The only thing I miss about being natural is wearing twists, but I want long twists and I knew that I would not be able to deal with my natural hair past SL. I just don't have the time nor patience.

I totally understand where you're coming from, and no, i'm not trying to coax you to the "other side" you have to do what's best for you and what fits your lifestyle, because ulitmately, it's your hair and your're the only one who has to live with it and style it. I wish you the best.

 

[anon123]

Also, my natural hair hates water. You know how some naturals say "I don't have to run from the rain" well I could never say that because I do. With relaxed hair, I didn't care about my hair getting wet as much as I did with natural hair. I like being in water and going swimming and I also like to workout and break a sweat. With natural hair, my hair shrinks and tangles to high heavens. I love wearing my hair in a BIG afro, but when I workout at the gym, it shrinks and the ends get tangly.

You know, this is something I never understood, either. When I was press and curl, of course I ran from the rain. But I didn't really when I was relaxed. That's the point of relaxed hair, right? You can get it wet and it doesn't revert. But I totally know what you're saying about natural hair shrinking and tangling. I wouldn't say my hair hates water, but my hair starts doing things I don't want it to do when it gets wet, much more so natural than relaxed.

I understand the way you are thinking, though.

 

[BostonMaria]

I went natural because I honestly thought it would be easier to manage. It definitely isn't, its just different. I wouldn't go back to relaxers, but I can understand if somebody chooses to go back to relaxers.

The only thing I hate about relaxers is that it is permanent. I absolutely hated transitioning and it was torture for me, I'd rather give birth to a whale LOL But I guess at the end of the day you could always go back to natural if you absolutely hate it. Good luck on whatever you decide to do!!

 

[genesis132]

Poohbear
I was exactly where you were a few weeks ago and I applied a Just For Me Texture Softner and haven't looked back. I ENJOYED being natural for 4 years and I wanted to experience wearing an afro before I left this earth....but for the sake of MY hair and MY ends...in order for me to savage what I had...i applied the J4M. My hair thanks me. As my hair grew longer, I just plain 'ole ran out of patience with the detangling and failed flat iron attempts. The breaking point for me was a few weeks back, it was Saturday (date night with me and my SO) and I spent the E-N-T-I-R-E day and night taking out some mini twists....to make a long story short...I did not get to go on "date night" and I wasn't happy.
I'm not here to tell you to do one thing or the other...just here to say I understand exactly what you're going threw because I been there and done that....I'm sure you'll make the best decision. Also, the Just For Me didn't not burn my scalp or anything....it softned my texture and I don't suffer from those knots on the end...I still can sport two strands and I just rollerset my hair for the first time since relaxing and it was a breeze....only regret is that I wish I'd applied it ONE year earlier, I couldve saved my length and ends....this is just MY personal experience and to me whether I'm natural or relaxed is not a life decision...sh*t i change my mind like changing clothes...the only thing that's for sure is..your not guaranteed tomorrow and I had to live for today. It's just good to know I can have healthy hair relaxed or natural and a B-I-G thanks to LCHF for that!!!