Tell me why...

[love2praz]

ITA! I have Rudy like hair, and I was relaxed at a very young age. My mom just didn't know any better. I don't blame her for it, but when you know better, you do better.

I just wish we could stop thinking that certain hair types NEED a relaxer. That just rubs me the wrong way.

ITA. I think that we suffered from being conditioned to think that we need one.

I definitely know better now!

 

[Poohbear]

ITA! I have Rudy like hair, and I was relaxed at a very young age. My mom just didn't know any better. I don't blame her for it, but when you know better, you do better.

I just wish we could stop thinking that certain hair types NEED a relaxer. That just rubs me the wrong way.

I agree! No one needs a relaxer!

 

[Candycane044]

ITA! I have Rudy like hair, and I was relaxed at a very young age. My mom just didn't know any better. I don't blame her for it, but when you know better, you do better.

I just wish we could stop thinking that certain hair types NEED a relaxer. That just rubs me the wrong way.

I was relaxed at 7 years old. I also can't blame my mother because she truly didn't know HOW to take care of natural hair. I think a lot of us get relaxed because no one ever educated us on how to take care of our natural hair. It's just assumed at a certain age that you get a relaxer. In addition it's assumed that natural hair is unmanagable. I have learned that this is not the case at all. My natural hair is so much easier to take care of and I have reached lengths that I never had when relaxed. When I was relaxed the longest my hair ever got was neck length.

As for the second part of Lauren's comment, I totally agree. There's nothing wrong with getting a relaxer but it's a big blow to your self-esteem when our society pushes that if you have a certain type of hair that you NEED to get a relaxer. This is a message I wish we would stop sending.

 

[RubyWoo]

I had my hair relaxed when I was 12 years old and it wasn't my choice. It wasn't my mother's choice either. Up until our hair was relaxed, my mom NEVER pressed our hair. I think she was totally against it. She always kept our hair braided up in different hair styles. My godmother came over and relaxed both my sister (twin) and myself's hair. My mom was against it but she said that she didn't want to come across as the bad guy because my sister and I were pretty receptive to what my godmother was doing although we really didn't understand what she was doing. My mother took very good care of our natural hair. I am transitioning and I was talking to my mom recently asked if she found our hair hard to manage. My sister and I have type 4 hair and she said our hair was very easy to manage. She totally supports my decision to go back to being natural. She said it is all about taking your time and using the right products to help detangle our hair. She said if she could go back, she would never have allowed our hair to be relaxed.

So now I am transitioning and I'm looking forward to having natural hair. My sis is natural and has been for the last 7 years and her hair is beautiful. My sister trusts me to do her hair and I agree with my mom in that technique and product really help with properly managing natural hair and it's only difficult if you work against your hair instead of with it.

 

[MrsJersey]

I had my first relaxer probably around 5 or 6 and I had no say in it whatsoever. My mother made the decision for me. She had no idea how to take care of her own hair, more less someone elses. Prior to relaxing I was also a victim of the sad 80's epidemic worse than crack or AIDS...I'm talking about the JHERI CURL. Damn the stylist who would put that mess on a 4/5 year old. To this day I still have my Kindergarten class picture to remind me of that dreadful period of my young life I guess, my hair trauma started young and I am just starting to fully recover from it!

 

[blackbarbie]

I was natural for 18 years, right up until 2 weeks before I went off to college. I always got my hair washed and pressed every 2 weeks and never really even thought about getting a relaxer. I mean, it was just a normal routine for my mom to wash my hair on a friday night, plait it up to air dry and then press it on saturday morning.

The only reason we (my mom and I) came to the conclusion to get a relaxer was because back when I was getting ready to go away to college, I just knew I wasn't trying to go looking for a stylist to be pressing my hair every 2 weeks. (no, there were no flat irons or anything like that back then). The other thing was that I just couldn't see myself trusting a stranger to "pressing" my hair. The only people that pressed my hair were my mom and grandmom. (thinking back and holding my ear right now!)

Even when I got the relaxer (looking back on it, i was really texlaxed b/c I kept wondering why my hair would curl up and not get straight like my roommate's when i washed it), it was strange b/c my friends in college had to show me how to rollerset, deep condition, etc. because my mom has always been and is still natural. 20 years ago, it never occurred to me to embrace my hair, I just wanted to make sure it was manageable, hence the relaxer.

I, like the OP, absolutely love natural curls, waves, kinks, etc.....i.e. all things natural, and I am looking forward to the versatility of my natural hair. Wearing it curly when I want or straight when I want.