sithembile said:
Synthia
Your post was so insightful, do you know of any Christian books which discuss this, I'd love to read up more about it.
** SORRY THIS IS SO LONG***********
Hi,
Thanks! No I don't know any books that deal with this matter.
I've spent years basing my personal beliefs on the following:
1. I am obsessed with the idea of a 'power couple.'
Bill and Camille. Bill and Hillary. Will and Jada.
Alliances where two powerful people work in harmony, pooling resources to maximize them -- love that! want that
Why would a strong man want a weak woman to submit to him? That's not much of an achievement. But if a man can carry himself in such a noble fashion that a strong woman respects him and submits to him...we'll then ...watch out world...because like I said earlier, empires can be built on this type of synergy (Anthony and Cleopatra?).
But how can two powerful people come together without constant conflict and agitation?.....
2. Embracing the male-female dichotomy.
I do believe there is harmony in the Eastern ying-yang philosophy. Even in the actual science of magnetism and electric charges, same repels and opposites attact.
So, I think harmony in a power alliance comes when the man and woman embrace their distinct and inherent natures and understand the power in this.
I know some people are opposed to gender roles. And really, people fall all along the spectrum when it comes to masculinity and feminity. So, couples should really create the dynamic that works best for them.
But I'm very much in tune with the idea of husband as head/protector and wife as nurturer/advisor
I like nurturing.. And to me the help-meet (which is more than a helper. "Meet" implies meets him on his level... as an equal..hence the alliance) is the nurturer who comforts, inspires, advises, solves problems, etc. (that woman in Proverbs 31 is pretty crafty and resourceful!!)
I do believe buried within the woman's nature is the instinct to crave the leadership of the man she loves (not just any man) no matter how strong she is.
In Genesis 3:16, God said to Eve: "Thy desire shall be to thy husband and he shall rule over thee."
I don't see God's edict here as simple punishment ...but an establishment of order. Clearly the serpent capitalized on inherent confusion and lack of leadership in the Garden.
In response, God set the man as ruler.
But not by force,...he made it so the woman would crave that ...he said the woman should have the desire for that leadership. This is something men need to understand. They can't
make a woman follow them. She has to
desire it.
And truly if you don't feel the desire and thrill leapt up inside you when you see that man you chose making good decisions, stepping out on faith and increasing his confidence as a decision maker ...then he may not be your Adam.
3. I find Esther intriguing
Well, I don't think the Bible says enough about Esther.
So, she remains utterly intriguing to me. What I do know is that she saved a whole group of Jews from extermination because she got the king to listen to her. I think it's imperative for all wives to have such favor with their husbands. I'm sure you've seen the fall-out in relationships where the man is not emotionally invested enough to have his nose open properly.
Now the king, her husband, exercised bad judgment. He allowed someone to talk him into signing a decree saying Jews should be killed if they didn't follow customs.
Esther, thankfully thwarted this and got the king to go back on his own edict. And there is some deep revelation in that. One's got to wonder why. The Bible simply says that she found 'favor' with the King. Yes, the book of Esther makes a big deal about her being beautiful...but we'll never fully know how she so captivated the king. She obviously had a good heart by how she felt about her uncle and her people. She was selfless (she could have been killed when she went to the King unbeckoned). This woman had many attributes. All of these surely contributed to what I called her 'whip appeal' but I don't say that lightly.
I know it involves sexual innuendo...but I don't think sex is trivial. The Eastern view of sex is that it's an exchange of energy that is very powerful and multi-layered ( Kamasutra, etc.). I think sex is a very powerful form of communication that involves body, mind, and spirit. I also see it as symbolic of the ideal man/woman relationship. The man penetrates/takes the lead, the woman receives, surrounding him with comfort, warmth, softness. There's power in that. (See how it all fits together the ying and yang of it) And that's a time when men are most vulnerable. If he feels safe and adored in the comforting arms of that woman when his defenses are down, I just think outside of bed, he'd do anything for her.
The fact, that the King says to Esther "What is your request? And it shall be performed" without knowing the magnitude of her request, says a lot about how he felt for her.
And all I know is that if you can get a man to respond to you like that, then it's safe to be in a relationship with him. If he can't listen to you when you have something to say or he dismisses you, then good luck submitting to him. Because it's going to be pretty -lopsided. Power alliance it is not.
Now, I can get attached pretty easily and I really do want to marry, but I have told myself that if I try to work my magic on a man, and I can't quite pull him deep enough into my spell ...then I need to keep looking. I kinda need that in my pocket. It's not some secret sorcery, no it won't be manipulative. He'll know he's whipped (and again not just talking sexually.) .But if his heart safely rests with me (like Proverbs 31 says it should) then my whip appeal should be no threat to him. I'd never use it just to be controlling and petty.
Even though getting him to go out at 3 a.m. in the morning for Chunky Monkey ice cream would be great.
It's just think woman are gonna listen to their men and love them, but men can be kinda unpredictive...so they need to be really, really emotionally invested in the relationship.
** SORRY THIS IS SO LONG***********