Re: At this point in your Christian walk, would you date/marry someone who is unsaved
What about this scenario?
When a man says that he is Christian, yet he does not understand my path to obey the scriptures and not fornicate or be celibate.
This post is right on the ball with the issues that I have been dealing with. I recently broke up with the guy I was dating because he feels resentment towards me because I chose to no longer fornicate. Ladies, I used to have sex during the first few months of the relationship. I felt that God understood that I loved this man and that we spoke of marriage and that I planned to marry. As you can see, I was battling the flesh and spirit, and the spirit was winning. Everything in my heart felt wrong. The holy spirit tugged at me and finally after a series of turmoil within and around me I prayed for the strength to begin anew and totally repent. I said I will no longer have sex. I will ask Gd for forgiveness, and I know in my heart that I want to do right with Christ.
Of course, I affected him, the boyfriend. He was perturbed. He said that I switched it up on him. I told him how before, although I used to reason with my heart and how I love him, that I have come to realize that regardless of our desire to marry and our love, we are still sinning according to the bible. I shared on how I want to repent and live totally in christ and that means sacrifice and wait till marriage. One would think, as a Christian man, I would have gotten support? NO WAY!!! He got real upset and said that the bible was written by man over thousands of years and that my choosing to abstain is selfish. He also says something similar to what one of the ladies said on here. " he believes in God and loves God and feels that everything he does, he does it in him ( GOD). He justifies lust because he says that he is making love to me and not lusting after random women in the streets. He says that he is right with "his" God and I am the one that decided to switch things up. He was so upset. even told me that I was a hypocrite for doing it then. All of these things hurt of course. All the more as to why we broke up.
I believe he is picking and choosing based on what is pleasurable as opposed to obeying what the word blatantly says. I tell him how I wish he was close enough to God, to be able to join me on this journey, but I he gets extremely angry in response and tells me that I am judging him and saying that he isn't close to God and that he cant stand the Christians that sit there and judge. I don't come close to judging the man at all! I am the least qualified to judge. He gets very defensive. We have been through so much arguments ever since I decided to better my walk with christ; hence why we are broken up.
Am I wrong for letting go of a "Christian" man that says that I am being selfish when I tell him that I want to repent, no longer fornicate and better my relationship with God. How do you ladies deal with celibacy? Do you find yourself compromising? Can I even salvage this relationship? Should I break this chain even though he seems to really care?
I ended my engagement four weeks ago because the man I was almost going to walk down the aisle with revealed some anger at the church and blasphemous beliefs that had yet to come to the surface.
He knew better than to try to tempt me out of my virginity, but he assumed he could dictate how I love and serve God and that he should come before God --post marriage.
Very unwise on his part, which he now knows.
I know it's difficult. I had wedding bells ringing and his family was chomping at the bit to make it happen...and to all of that, I had to say no for a god I can't see, touch, or hear.
It's not a small thing you are considering --but, it is a battle in your heart because you love the Lord. Don't shy from it and don't let the enemy try to use it to make you feel guilty.
I pray that the Lord gives you the peace, clarity, foresight, courage, and quiet strength to pursue Him --no matter what. Amen.
As for celibacy, I'm a 24 year old virgin (in all aspects
) and I want to say it is hard, can feel cruel, and difficult. Many people don't want to admit that and I think it's unfair for the unmarried to get this vague "it's only hard for you if you're bad or immature spiritually" sort of message because of the silence that is prevelant on this issue. It's not enough to say: STAY CELIBATE.
Like the issue of sex itself, the church needs to do a better job of aiding us in pursuing/navigating it.
Celibacy is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It is an act of COURAGE AND LOVE toward yourself.
I couldn't have walked away with such peace and not missed a beat from my former love if we had been "intimate".
I would have done it...but at great cost to my heart, schooling, family, and peace of mind.
It is WORTH IT and your desire to not fornicate is an act of LOVE for yourself. Don't let society, other "Christians" or the Enemy tell you anything to the contrary!
There's no one way for one to be celibate (we're all different with different "triggers"), but be sure to stay engaged --burn of extra energy with exercise, by challenged intellectually, steer clear of movies and music exposing sex or showing the "fruits" of it, do something that allows you to express all of your gifts for God to their fullest.
It won't erase that desire, but will better allow you to keep it in
perspective and not let it overwhelm you --emotionally or physically.
You are blessed and loved by God, go forward in grace and courage!
I'll wait until my degree is finished then I'll add this to my outside my major list of classes to take. 
I will have to look into adding it. I can swim, but learning to do it right would be good too. I will have to check what my school offers too.
My mom was the same. She would tell me time and again how she was denied education as a child, so she would feed her mind on regularly as an adult. She took one class every semester up until she passed.
Thanks for the idea...I am definitely looking into it.
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:welcome3: 
