Stylist: Why do you want to grow your hair long?

[frida1980]

I got a "trim" last week, and I'm slowly getting over the incompetence of this man. However, there's one thing that I just can't get over. It was his first day there, and he asked me three times what I wanted done to my hair. The answer every time was "trim." Then after I finally sat down, he asked if I wanted any layers of anything. I said not right now, maybe when get to WL. Then he asked me:

" Why do you want your hair that long?"

Um... because I can, dimwit? (I didn't say this out loud, sadly)
He went on to say that he knew lots of women with long hair and they had thin edges and it looked bad. He also said that long haired women only wore their hair in buns and couldn't wear it any way else. All this while he trimmed my hair in fast forward speed, some how creating nots in straight hair. When he was done, he remarked how nice my hair felt and asked what I put in it. I told him some vague answers, because no stylist is learning my hair care secrets without payment.

And of course the idiot cut off too much, 1 and 1/2 inches instead of the 1/2 inch that I specified several times. Sigh... Well it at least it wasn't as bad as the three and four inch "trims I've gotten. But that crap about him discouraging me from having long hair really bother me. But I doubt he knows that nearly every heterosexual male loves long hair on a woman.

Edit: added another comment that I found off putting.

 

[Mrs. Verde]

You should have asked him, "Why do you care?" I hope you are not going back to him again after he did not follow your instructions and cut off more hair than requested.

 

[frida1980]

You should have asked him, "Why do you care?" I hope you are not going back to him again after he did not follow your instructions and cut off more hair than requested.

Heck no!

I called corporate on him and got a free haircut and a $25 gift card. Wasn't enough to make up for my lost hair...

 

[CocoBunny]

Depending on the context I think his question and observation where fine and should be asked during a consultation.

For example if you came in and had waist length hair and wanted a pixie cut he should ask you who do you want it so short? And then explain to you the pros and cons and up keep issues. If you choose to heed thats up to you but question was asked and the info was given.

As for the bolded. I see it everyday on this board and IRL, long hair doesn't equal healthy hair or attractive hair.

I think men heterosexual or otherwise prefer healthy attractive hair on woman and as stated that doesn't always equal long.

YMMV

I got a "trim" last week, and I'm slowly getting over the incompetence of this man. However, there's one thing that I just can't get over. It was his first day there, and he asked me three times what I wanted done to my hair. The answer every time was "trim." Then after I finally sat down, he asked if I wanted any layers of anything. I said not right now, maybe when get to WL. Then he asked me:

" Why do you want your hair that long?"

Um... because I can, dimwit? (I didn't say this out loud, sadly)
He went on to say that he knew lots of women with long hair and they had thin edges and it looked bad. All this while he trimmed my hair in fast forward speed, some how creating nots in straight hair. When he was done, he remarked how nice my hair felt and asked what I put in it. I told him some vague answers, because no stylist is learning my hair care secrets without payment.

And of course the idiot cut off too much, 1 and 1/2 inches instead of the 1/2 inch that I specified several times. Sigh... Well it at least it wasn't as bad as the three and four inch "trims I've gotten. But that crap about him discouraging me from having long hair really bother me. But I doubt he knows that nearly every heterosexual male loves long hair on a woman.

 

[frida1980]

Depending on the context I think his question and observation where fine and should be asked during a consultation.

For example if you came in and had waist length hair and wanted a pixie cut he should ask you who do you want it so short? And then explain to you the pros and cons and up keep issues. If you choose to heed thats up to you but question was asked and the info was given.

As for the bolded. I see it everyday on this board and IRL, long hair doesn't equal healthy hair or attractive hair.

I think men heterosexual or otherwise prefer healthy attractive hair on woman and as stated that doesn't always equal long.

YMMV

If this was a consultation, it would've been completely different. I've had people touch and examine my hair and tell me about thin spots and give me recommendations. However, this was not what he was doing. My hair is already at BSL, very healthy with very little thinning or damage, and only needs about 4 and 1/2 inches to be a waist length. He hadn't even looked at my hair or touched, so he wasn't giving a consultation at all just a opinion. He was just biased before the fact. No stylist has ever tried to put down my personal desire, so I found it offensive. It's one thing if I ask about growing my hair long. It's completely different when I say, I'm growing my hair long and he tries to discourage me for some short sided reasons. Yes some WL have some damage, however instead of telling me not to grow it out he should've provided some details on how not to get it thin. That did not happen at all. That was unprofessional.

Even more evidence is when he combed my hair crazy fast when he was trimming. When he hit knots eight times, I was livid. My hair was pretty straight and no one had ever combed in such a rushed and damaging fashion. No, he didn't have my best interest at heart at all.

 

[frida1980]

I remembered something else he said. He stated that long haired women could only wear their hair back and couldn't really do anything else with it.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

That's strange what he is saying. My hair is past WL and I've never had to deal with thinning edges. And I wear my hair down pretty often. He definitely gets the side eye from me.

 

[CocoBunny]

I thought he was discussing your hair and your routine and goals prior to cutting. A good stylist usually gives a consultation on each and every visit prior to performing any service. I did not know this was not the case

If this was a consultation, it would've been completely different. I've had people touch and examine my hair and tell me about thin spots and give me recommendations. However, this was not what he was doing. My hair is already at BSL, very healthy with very little thinning or damage, and only needs about 4 and 1/2 inches to be a waist length. He hadn't even looked at my hair or touched, so he wasn't giving a consultation at all just a opinion. He was just biased before the fact. No stylist has ever tried to put down my personal desire, so I found it offensive. It's one thing if I ask about growing my hair long. It's completely different when I say, I'm growing my hair long and he tries to discourage me for some short sided reasons. Yes some WL have some damage, however instead of telling me not to grow it out he should've provided some details on how not to get it thin. That did not happen at all. That was unprofessional.

Even more evidence is when he combed my hair crazy fast when he was trimming. When he hit knots eight times, I was livid. My hair was pretty straight and no one had ever combed in such a rushed and damaging fashion. No, he didn't have my best interest at heart at all.

 

[Nova]

That would be the last time he'd ever touch my hair! First of all he wasn't listening when you told him how much to cut, otherwise he wouldn't have had to ask you "three times." Then, still didn't cut the amount you requested. Discouraging you from growing waist-length hair was totally unprofessional. You would do well to find another stylist with "your best interest" at heart. Good luck!

 

[RegaLady]

I think people are entitled to their opinions. So he doesn't care for long hair, big deal. What matters is how he did your hair. And it seems you were satisfied with your trim. Why does it matter what he think about long haired women and styling. I am aiming for long hair, I ask myself questions like your stylist did often. If you don't like his service, discontinue going to him and KIM.

 

[shunemite]

That's why I only go to Supercuts and Mastercuts for a dry trim. They listen, let me face the mirror, and trim very little.

 

[frida1980]

I think people are entitled to their opinions. So he doesn't care for long hair, big deal. What matters is how he did your hair. And it seems you were satisfied with your trim. Why does it matter what he think about long haired women and styling. I am aiming for long hair, I ask myself questions like your stylist did often. If you don't like his service, discontinue going to him and KIM.

I was NOT satisfied!!! He cut way too much!! And when I'm in the chair it does matter. You always give the customer what they want and try to please them. He can give his opinions on the street and not while he's abusing my hair and not the condescending way he did.

BTW he no longer works there. I suppose his behavior was too much for customers. It certainly was for me.

 

[bravenewgirl87]

I don' think he asked anything offensive. In light of recent hair trends, short cuts are definitely in. And most people, of all races, do not wish to have WL length because of the struggle of having to care for the hair. It was simply an opinion and I'm glad you didn't say some of the other comments that were in your post because you probably would've been more offensive to him; i.e. the one about him not knowing that men want women with WL (which is wrong, too). You could've gotten the cuss-out of a lifetime because I take it he's gay but he is a stylist so he probably knows more about hair trends than you would.

 

[ManeStreet]

Not giving you a hard time but it seems from the moment he asked you the question you were offended and became defensive. It started with him simply asking you a question. He may have asked you that probably because he was thinking your hair was pretty and long already so why do you want longer hair. For some reason the question and his comments struck a soft spot with you. From your own post he never said "you can't grow your hair that long" or "wsl hair will look ugly on you". He didn't say anything to discourage you. He made observations about other peoples hair and even complimented you on your hair by saying how good it felt.


I've worn my hair mbl and wsl, truthfully most of the time when your hair is that long you wear a lot of ponytails because its convenient and because in every day to day life, running errands, washing clothes, grocery shopping, it can be too much hair to have flowing everywhere and getting stuck in your lipgloss. But to me, it seems a over the top to take hits at this man's sexuality because he expressed his opinion and his experience of long hair women.

 

[Guitarhero]

But I doubt he knows that nearly every heterosexual male loves long hair on a woman.

Edit: added another comment that I found off putting.

I want my hair long again because that's what I want. I'm not trying to prove anything to anybody and I'm not trying to please any man. Forget that stylist, he was out of line. Learn to do your own trims. 1 1/2 inches...I'd have to knife him.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I'm sorry this happened to you. It's good that you reacted the way you did. The result could have been much worse.

Experiences like yours are why I do not let ANY person style, wash, comb, or touch my hair. I have learned the hard way that nobody else will have my hair's best interests at heart but ME.

 

[AmyRose92]

Sadly his ignorance is on par with practically all of the hair stylists that I've been to. This is the reason why I've come to hate hair salons with a passion. There's just way too much ignorance and misinformation flying around in those places.

But OP, you'll get to WL hair for sure
I can't wait to get to at least BSL (and, in my mind, go to every hair stylist I've ever been to and whip my hair for them to see )