Story of a sad ass head of hair

[BlackButterflyz]

Words cannot explain how overjoyed I am to have found this site!!!

Ladies, never in my life have I seen/experienced a group of females that are so positive and supportive (that’s why I don’t usually mess with females like that). If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m new to this board, although I have been browsing through for quite some time now, and have learned a whole lot about hair (and let me tell you I was doing all the wrong things)…Aight, that enough of the sentimental stuff, here’s my story: (***Disclaimer: I am notoriously long-winded, so if you could care less how my hair got to be where it is now just skip down to CHAPTER 4)

Chapter 1- Beautiful beginnings

In the beginning, God made BlackButterflyz’s hair, and all was good. In other words, I used to have one nice head of hair –thick, healthy, soft (and relaxed at that). I wish I had pictures but I’m not very photogenic so, needless to say, I hate cameras.

Chapter 2- Fried, dyed and laid to the side

Then…I went away to school, and all hell broke loose. Whereas at home, I went to the Dominican salon religiously, at school I had to learn to do my hair my self because there wasn’t a salon (never mind a Dominican salon) in sight. This was a shock to the system because I was used to the convenience of having a Dominican salon on every corner (I’m from the Bronx, if you know what I mean).
Then…I did the unthinkable…I got my hair dyed (permanent highlights), and although they looked marvelous in the beginning- they eventually wrecked havoc on my hair. I mean within a year, you couldn’t even tell that I had had my hair dyed because all of it had broken off **sniff, sniff*

--ah well, I won’t be doing that again.

Chapter 3- Still haven’t learned my lesson

Well at college I continued to blowdry and flat iron my hair religiously. I learned to master the blowdryer, round brush, and flat iron like no other, and could have my hair looking like I just stepped out of a salon with just these three items (but I couldn’t roller set my hair if Jesus himself came down and commanded me to).. But this has been my downfall—sure it looks good, but looks are deceiving because, damn, my hair is damaged!! I might as well had set my *ish on fire cuz that’s what it looks like. It has been the same length for the past 3 years (and I hardly ever get it trimmed). Oh and did I mention that the water here at my school is hard too-- so you can add chlorine and calcium deposits to the roster- woohoo!!!!

Chapter 4- You live and you learn, and then find LHCF!!!!!

Well right now I’ve found this board and I must say that I am truly indebted to you ladies

(seriously, if you ever need a kidney or something, just PM me) because I have learned sooo much…I really like the vibe ya’ll got going and I feel like I know you guys…for instance, CaramelHonee, your hair is my goal- it is soo beautiful, SherryLove and Adrienne, ya’ll are my hair goddesses (nuff said)... and Tracy, I could only dream of having a color that looks so damn good and healthy!!!
So currently I have a long ass list of products to buy and try (thanks for enabling my PJism), and I think I have a set regime that will work for me. BUT>>>>my biggest problem is that not only am I a PJ, but I am also a heat junkie…

**standing up with one tear glistening in my eye, clutching tight my gold n’ hot bumper in one hand and blowdryer in the other** “Hi my name is Black… and I am addicted to heat” ….
“Hi Black”

….like I said before I love that just-outta-the-Dominican-salon-look, and I don’t know any other way to achieve it while I’m away at school except with a lot of heat…. And to add insult to injury (here comes a confession) I am extremely VAIN!!!! I love to wear my hair out and every hair has to be looking fly for me to even step outside…I mean I am so vain, I refuse to workout because I’ll only sweat my perm out in the name of one thing (and I ain’t talking exercise ladies

). I love to wear a doobie…. and protective styles like buns are just not my thing, because I have a very round face and don’t look very sexy with my hair back (as a matter of fact the only protective style I can tolerate are braids, which I’m rocking right now while I continue my hair research)..AS for braid-outs, tried them, but they always go limp by midday (I think my hair has been waaay overprocessed in the past)…So are there any other alternatives for me?
SO my questions to you ladies are…..

1. Is there any way to restore elasticity to your hair once it’s been relaxed bone straight (or is my hair just helplessly doomed)?
2. I want to start doing preshampoo treatments with EVOO, and I was wondering if it is better to put the EVOO on your hair when it is wet or dry? Has anyone tried both ways? What were your results?

Ok ladies sorry this was long but I warned you…oh here are the basics about me:

Hair type is mostly 4a with some 4b in the mix, I use Optimum no-lye relaxer, but I’m switching to Motions lye (Affirm is really not an option right now with my sad, sad college student broke ass), and my hair is currently at the bottom of my neck in the back and chin length in the front, and I have severe breakage near the nape of my neck.
HELP please!!!
BlackButterflyz

 

[sassygirl125]

[ QUOTE ]
(***Disclaimer: I am notoriously long-winded, so if you could care less how my hair got to be where it is now just skip down to CHAPTER 4)

[/ QUOTE ]

Welcome!

I think there are conditioners and moisturizers that will make your hair look and feel better. But once it's been relaxed super straight, it's gonna stay that way unless you cut it off. There are several ladies here that are slowly getting rid of overprocessed hair. Just trim off an inch or so every couple of months. Good luck!

I always applied my pre-poo oils to dry hair.

 

[inthepink]

Welcome BlackButterflyz!

Your post had me cracking up!!!

I hope that you're on your way to healthy hair. I would say to definitely learn to rollerset if you like wearing your hair out. If you do a search on the board, I am sure you can find lots of hints, tips, and suggestions on how to do those. I think those will help your hair to look a lot fuller.

I am transitioning and have come to realize that my hair was being relaxed bone straight instead of leaving some texture to it. In order for me to make my hair look full, I have to do twist outs. These have been working well for me and keep me away from the heat. Maybe you could try twist outs and perm rod roller sets.
Here's a link for you...
MotownGirl's How To's

I also have damage issues and have been deep conditioning at least once a week which helps. I've been using LeKair Cholesterol conditioner. It's pretty cheap at Sally's and a lot of ladies here rave about it...myself included.

Good luck and put away the heat.

If anything, make a vow to only use the heat every 2-3 months. It depends on what your hair goals are.

 

[Spagirl]

Hi BlackButterflyz!....Welcome to LHCF.

Quote
1. Is there any way to restore elasticity to your hair once it’s been relaxed bone straight (or is my hair just helplessly doomed)?
2. I want to start doing preshampoo treatments with EVOO, and I was wondering if it is better to put the EVOO on your hair when it is wet or dry? Has anyone tried both ways? What were your results?

I don't know if you can restore elasticity but there are ways you can work with it, ie...setting lotion for instance to help with the curl/ braidout hold thing.

As far as EVOO, wet vs. dry is a trial and error thing/preference thing. I've heard some say that by misting the hair 1st helps the product absorb more readily...

So in short, you have to experiment to see what works best for your hair.

 

[phynestone]

I don't have relaxed hair and but I can tell you that you shouldn't relax your hair bone straight. I think it's really damaging to the hair and makes it even more prone to break off. You should have your hair relaxed to the point where it loosens the curls, not bone straight. Have you tried buying a shower head filter? That may help with the hard water.

I have a round face too and my hair is currently pulled back into braids for the moment as well. Do you drink a lot of water and eat right? Do you take vitamins? You could try pulling your hair back (I know you don't like this) and wear a sweatband around your head for the sweat when you work out. I just don't like hearing about black women who don't want to exercise b/c of their hair. I think our health is much more important than our hair. Hope this helps.

 

[phynestone]

What's EVOO?

 

[Spagirl]

[ QUOTE ]
What's EVOO?

[/ QUOTE ]

EVOO=Extra Virgin Olive Oil

 

[aqualung]

Welcome! Your post is so funny. You're a good writer. Here are a few things to consider to get you started.

-Even over processed hair when washed and airdried gets a little of its elasticity back. It'll dry a little spiraled cuz you haven't used heat and tension to draw it out straight.
-Consider conditioning washes followed by airdrying for after you exercise. (Admit it -- you get hyper SOMEtimes.) That way you can incoporate good hair habits into your workout schedule. Check BrownRelaxedHair's posts. She CO washes after every workout.
-Cornrows are an awesome way to wean yourself off of heat and rest your hair. Remember to moisturize!
-Learn to do your own rollersets while you're in the Bronx this summer. Will your Bronx stylist give you pointers if you describe your sitch? Mine agreed to show me. When you go off to school, you can alternate between braids, CO washes, and rollersets.
-I dunno if you'll consider reconciling with protective styles. They go along well with CO washes for a lot of the ladies here. There are always work arounds. One girl on this board (gvsugirl) just CO washes and rollersets regularly. She's good at it by now.
-Vitamins like biotin, MSM, and B5 might boost your growth rate.

HTH,
Meg

 

[Allandra]

Welcome to the forum.

 

[msprettyeyes]

Girl I can tell that u will be another funny character on this board. Anyway I know about hard water in school. I'm experiencing the same thing. Someone told me to use this Elasta QP shampoo. It has a lot of moisture in it. It sounds like you and I have the same length of hair. One thing I haven't been doing before this board is using heat. (Only to deep condition and roller set) Curling Irons are a no no. I know they make your hair look good but in the long run it a wrap for your hair. Just familiarize yourself with the board and read all of the interesting posts and you will get ideas. Good luck and welcome to the forum.

 

[Peachtree]

Hey BBF, welcome

I like u girl

, your humor is refreshing

.

We have a few things in common too...

1) I'm pretty long winded too once i get goin

!

2) I too use Optimum No Lye (regular). This is my fav relaxer

. IT'S AWESOME!!

3) I'm relatively "bone straight" too. Not intentionally though. No matter how quickly i apply the relaxer, my hair is still straight... prolly due to the "regular" strength. Anyway, i don't have an issue with breakage cuz i moisturize the heck out of my hair. I believe this is the key to keeping bone straight hair, healthy, bouncy, & shiny, with yes, elasticity to the strands

. Air dry, CO washes, misting with distilled water then followed by oil is my lil secret to puttin' that "spring" back into my strands

. Not to mention that your hair will become sooo incredibly "full" with this blast of moisture in your regime. Another thing, I was the Queen of heat 10 mths ago, but once i left the irons, blow dryer behind, I seemed to gain length overnight!!! Once i noticed this, it was noooooo problem leaving that hot stuff alone.

Getting a lil off the subject here, but when i get lazy (

pretty often) I'll slap on sum S-Curl then make a bun & let it in that same bun for a wk, moisturizing every day. I know that u're not fond of up do's, but u can try this to give a lil flava' to the up do... pull about 2" wide hair along the sides of your face, sorta like chin length bangs. This works wonder at giving the illusion of a slender face (I have a round face too).

4) I love to wear my hair out too, so i definitely feel ya' on that one

. Have u tried airdrying in a ponytail, or a couple ponytails? U can still achieve straight hair (even with a bump on the ends) WITHOUT USING HEAT...no blow dryer, no flat iron, no curling iron. I use a similar method which i call a "bun out"...i airdry in a bun instead of ponytails. This way ur given the best of both worlds.... 1) u can wear your hair out, u know, get cho' "vain" on

, & 2) your hair is retaining a blast of moisture... I'll try to find the link to the ponytail method for u. Anyother thing, if u wanna give the "braid out" another try, i'm be more than happy to assist u step by step with the method. It can be achieved

. U might like the "twist out" also... I can help with that too

.

Alright luv, let me go, cuz i'll keep goin on & on....

Take care,
Peachtree

BTW, I've used EVOO on both wet & dry hair... honestly I recvd the same results Play around with it to see which way workks best for u

.

 

[JenJen2721]

Blackbutterflyz,

Welcome to the board...I really enjoyed reading your first post..very refreshing...I think you'll bring a lot to this board!!!! We're glad to have ya!!!

Your hair is chin length??? I think it would look so cute with a roller set. My stylist is going to try a roller set on my hair with my next touchup...it should be close to chin length then. I can't wait!!!

Again, welcome!!!

Jen

 

[BlackButterflyz]

Thank you ladies for all your support and information (I'm surprised ya'll even read all that). It seems the general consensus is that I need to step away from the blow dryer.

I think I'll get someone to hide my blowdryer and curling iron...wait...ok maybe just the blow dryer...we'll take this like a 12 step program- one day at a time.

19Sweetie:
I ordered a shower filter, so hopefully that will help (too bad it took me 3 years to find out that they actually make shower filters,

go figure). Also i know it's sad that I base my workout schedule around my hair.. but I'm just being real with you about where my priorities are... Anyway, I dance so I ain't too worried about my health (no...not that type of dancing- LOL!!!- ok, let me get my mind out the gutter).

Megonw
I think I'll try those COs that you were talking about and perhaps even **gasp** airdrying **insert dramatic music**

Peachtree :
Oooo girl your hair is very nice!!!! I will definitely try the distilled H2O and glycerin. DOes it make your hair greasy/oily or sticky??? (Cuz you know a sista gots to be prepared for anything...just in case the man of my dreams comes along and wants to run his fingers through my tresses...

Anyways thanks again ladies, I'll no doubt be back soon with more questions.

BlackButterflyz
PS--
One more question...what the hell is this gremlin doing????

He looks like the terminator or something LOL!!!

 

[Peachtree]

Girl, u r just tooooooo funny

!!!

Personally, i haven't experienced any "sticky / gummy" feeling. I apply it to dry hair, just to get my hair wet again. Another thing i mix 1/4 pure glycerin to 3/4 distilled water. (I used to mix half water half glycerin, but i gotta make it stretch, u know?

)

Oily, yes, when applying, but only until it's airdried. Once dry, it's not oily at all.... not to me anyway.

Let me know how it works for u

.

 

[inthepink]

OMG, Black...you are just TOO funny!

 

[inthepink]

BlackButterflyz,

I know what you mean about not wanting "greasy" hair in case the man of your dreams comes along. Glad someone had the courage to say it b/c I wonder the same thing several times a day. It is my current quest to make my hair look nice without being greasy. Can you imagine? You lay your head on his freshly pressed white shirt and then move and see you left a grease stain! My worst nightmare!

 

[PrincessM]

Welcome, BlackButterflyz

!!!

Peachtree, where do you buy pure glycerin?

 

[Jenai]

Welcome to the board, BlackButterflyz. Looking forward to more of your funny posts. Once upon a time, I hated protective stlyes too, but now I only wear my hair out for special events (or to just show off). Have you tried wearing a phonytail? That, plus some bangs going down the side of your face can make a full face look cute and sexy.

 

[adrienne0914]

blackbutterflyz, you had me cracking up, girl! i love your sense of humor!

thanks for the compliment. i have to say that i really don't believe i would have been able to make as much progress as i have if i hadn't given up the heat so often. really, eliminating that and wearing the braids is what gave me progress beyond my 18+ year plateau. if you can keep wearing the braids for a while, i think that would really help! just make sure you keep your ends really moisturized.

hairlove...

girrrrl... whenever i use curl activator, it goes on wet and seemingly sticky, but once it's dry, it's okay. i've laid my head on enough shoulders... ahem.. i mean "trust me. it'll be okay."

 

[Peachtree]

[ QUOTE ]
Welcome, BlackButterflyz

!!!

Peachtree, where do you buy pure glycerin?

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Princess M

I bought it from a local bss. It's also sold in health food stores & online. I'm pm u my review of it

.

 

[pebbles]

Welcome!

 

[sweetcocoa]

Welcome! I enjoyed your post! Theh one part I noticed was you said you refuse to exercise because the sweat would ruin your do...
To put that in perspective for me....I say to myself...I can always run out and get my hair done when I need it to look good...but I can't get in shape I want or lose that weight overnight. So prefer to exercise first..so when the special ocassion comes, not only will my hair look fly, but my body will be looking fly too...you know the total package.
What's the point of having one without the other....

 

[L.A. Woman]

Welcome Welcome! Your trials have been ours too so we can relate.

I felt like someone who had crawled across the Mojave lugging my hair troubles parched and almost dead - looking for an oasis. Instead I found a real civilization full of smart funny ladies who have collectively turned my hair around in the span of a year.

Being on this board is almost a guarantee for lush hair. Different methods are practiced but the end result is usually the same. You're in a good place.