Steve Harvey Morning Show Topic of the day

[envybeauty]

Am I the only one who is tired of hearing all this TALK about relationships from men and women (mostly men) who theorize about why relationships go wrong these days?

Steve Harey Morning show. Topic of the day. Usual:

women are confused about what they want. they will tell a mman that they don't want anything serious, then give up the cookies, then expect for him to commit when he doesn't.

Grown ass SINGLE old men (Steve is what 50!) talking about relationships. Did men talk like this in the 60s. and 70s?!?! Weren't those men married and therefore requiring conversations to be about how to take care of FAMILIES and not theorize about why women are sleeping with men and why men won't commit!

I am just sick and tired of all this TALK! If men and women were getting married, then thelevel of conversation could be taken to a higher level. That is the level of discussion that should be public discourse. Not this.

 

[Bunny77]

I TOTALLY agree. As I mentioned in another topic you started, it's just interesting to me that these SINGLE fools that have never committed to anything in their lives are telling women why they aren't in relationships...

The other thing I point out in as many threads as possible, but no one seems to have the answer... we regurgitate the 70% of all black women aren't married statistic, but what percentage of black MEN aren't married? I ask this because I assume the number is pretty much the same... which tells me that this is a COMMUNITY issue, not a black women only problem.

Nothing is going to change if BOTH parties aren't a part of the conversation about what their gender needs to do better in relationships...

 

[envybeauty]

I TOTALLY agree. As I mentioned in another topic you started, it's just interesting to me that these SINGLE fools that have never committed to anything in their lives are telling women why they aren't in relationships...

The other thing I point out in as many threads as possible, but no one seems to have the answer... we regurgitate the 70% of all black women aren't married statistic, but what percentage of black MEN aren't married? I ask this because I assume the number is pretty much the same... which tells me that this is a COMMUNITY issue, not a black women only problem.

Nothing is going to change if BOTH parties aren't a part of the conversation about what their gender needs to do better in relationships...[/quote]


I think it has gone from bad to worse. At least in years past, men and women got married first, then talked later. Now, there is nothing but talk while women are getting older and being told that they educated themselves out of marriage and their baby making clocks are going off earlier and earlier.

What is worse is that the advice is coming from SINGLE and OLD, and I do mean OLLLDDD ass men. I can maybe understand the 20 year olds. But a man who is darn near 40, 50, 60 telling women about themselves AS IF THESE OLD ARSES ARE THE CATCH OF THE DAY! Pl--eeze!

 

[deltagyrl]

I like SH but I take what he says with a grain of salt because, although he's married, it's his 3rd or 4th time. Carla, Shirley and Tommy are single, I think.....

I do think that some of the callers and strawberry letter writers are kinda stoopid, though.

 

[Heidi]

I agree Delta Gyrl. Some of thos letters are just plain stupid!

 

[MissYocairis]

Am I the only one who is tired of hearing all this TALK about relationships from men and women (mostly men) who theorize about why relationships go wrong these days?

Steve Harey Morning show. Topic of the day. Usual:

women are confused about what they want. they will tell a mman that they don't want anything serious, then give up the cookies, then expect for him to commit when he doesn't.

Grown ass SINGLE old men (Steve is what 50!) talking about relationships. Did men talk like this in the 60s. and 70s?!?! Weren't those men married and therefore requiring conversations to be about how to take care of FAMILIES and not theorize about why women are sleeping with men and why men won't commit!

I am just sick and tired of all this TALK! If men and women were getting married, then thelevel of conversation could be taken to a higher level. That is the level of discussion that should be public discourse. Not this.

Great points! I agree with you! Furthermore, men today have no incentive to marry. What will marriage get them that they cannot get without risking HALF of their assets? So they seem to be throwing up all sorts of roadblocks and hoops for ladies to jump through to justify their less than respectable motives. I'm mad Steve has jumped on that bandwagon...he should be TEACHING the younguns...not joining them.

 

[envybeauty]

Great points! I agree with you! Furthermore, men today have no incentive to marry. What will marriage get them that they cannot get without risking HALF of their assets? So they seem to be throwing up all sorts of roadblocks and hoop for ladies to jump through to justify their less than respectable motives. I'm mad Steve has jumped on that bandwagon...he should be TEACHING the younguns...not joining them.

DON"T BELIEVE THAT CRAP!!!

Men spew forth that crap all day long...about how THEY don't want to get married because THEY (the men) risk losing HALF of what THEY have. Yeah ....ok... I'll post here what was echoed on another board:


Also, debatable is the notion that if the average Black man today
gets married and he later decides to get a divorce, he will end up
losing half of what he has. Tiger, yes. Denzel, yes. Barak, maybe.
Average Black man in NY? I think not. There are far too many Black
women who make just as much/close to/if not more than their husbands.
A lot of Black men come into relationships with just as much debt as
their wives. Law schools, business schools, etc. all cost the same
regardless of whether the person is male or female. Not to mention
the BMWs and other "nice" possessions that people purchase in this
world. Today, most average Black men are seeking women in
professional fields to match their own instead of years back when men
opted to marry women not as similarly situated (e.g, men doctors
married women nurses, etc.). Especially in NY. Two-income
households are practically a must!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I TOTALLY agree. As I mentioned in another topic you started, it's just interesting to me that these SINGLE fools that have never committed to anything in their lives are telling women why they aren't in relationships...

The other thing I point out in as many threads as possible, but no one seems to have the answer... we regurgitate the 70% of all black women aren't married statistic, but what percentage of black MEN aren't married? I ask this because I assume the number is pretty much the same... which tells me that this is a COMMUNITY issue, not a black women only problem.

Nothing is going to change if BOTH parties aren't a part of the conversation about what their gender needs to do better in relationships...[/quote]


I think it has gone from bad to worse. At least in years past, men and women got married first, then talked later. Now, there is nothing but talk while women are getting older and being told that they educated themselves out of marriage and their baby making clocks are going off earlier and earlier.

What is worse is that the advice is coming from SINGLE and OLD, and I do mean OLLLDDD ass men. I can maybe understand the 20 year olds. But a man who is darn near 40, 50, 60 telling women about themselves AS IF THESE OLD ARSES ARE THE CATCH OF THE DAY! Pl--eeze!

Dang,Nvy...guess I need to make an appointment at the cemetary really soon!!!!!!!!!!!oke:

 

[envybeauty]

Dang,Nvy...guess I need to make an appointment at the cemetary really soon!!!!!!!!!!!oke:

I didn't mean it like that.

One cannot flaunt his experience in terms of how long he has been around the block in this lifetime (as one is quick to do the older one gets) and then the next minute expect to be treated like he has the innocence of youth so as to make his actions/words excusable.

 

[ThickHair]

Steve should not be the one giving advice on relationships, as someone has already mentioned he has been married 50\11 times. I listen to it for amusement only.

 

[envybeauty]

I *wish* steve was the ONLY one talking about this. Then I could tune it out.

But it seems like lately, the 50-11 men I know all want to theorize about relationships. I'm like...just get married already so you have something else to talk about. It's like they get as much pleasure about putting theories out there as women do gossiping about celebrities. Just chatter in my ear!erplexed

 

[ChasingBliss]

I TOTALLY agree. As I mentioned in another topic you started, it's just interesting to me that these SINGLE fools that have never committed to anything in their lives are telling women why they aren't in relationships...

The other thing I point out in as many threads as possible, but no one seems to have the answer... we regurgitate the 70% of all black women aren't married statistic, but what percentage of black MEN aren't married? I ask this because I assume the number is pretty much the same... which tells me that this is a COMMUNITY issue, not a black women only problem.

Nothing is going to change if BOTH parties aren't a part of the conversation about what their gender needs to do better in relationships...[/quote]


I think it has gone from bad to worse. At least in years past, men and women got married first, then talked later. Now, there is nothing but talk while women are getting older and being told that they educated themselves out of marriage and their baby making clocks are going off earlier and earlier.

What is worse is that the advice is coming from SINGLE and OLD, and I do mean OLLLDDD ass men. I can maybe understand the 20 year olds. But a man who is darn near 40, 50, 60 telling women about themselves AS IF THESE OLD ARSES ARE THE CATCH OF THE DAY! Pl--eeze!

I kid you not, I was hollaring the same exact point in my car this morning. And I've been saying this about him for the longest with practically everyting he says pertaining to WOMEN and relationships. I actually stayed after parking to bytch at the radio making myself all late for work ..

I am 39...and as (what probably some of ya'll might consider) an old arse female...the only relationship advice I try to give is what things were like for me when I went through a particular situation that the person may be going through herself. And this is only to help someone avoid the pittfalls I've made or warn them of what can happen when certain decisions are made.

 

[Bunny77]

But it seems like lately, the 50-11 men I know all want to theorize about relationships. I'm like...just get married already so you have something else to talk about. It's like they get as much pleasure about putting theories out there as women do gossiping about celebrities. Just chatter in my ear!erplexed

I wonder why this is... I don't talk about relationship issues with men (just y'all on here on LHCF ) and maybe a few women... but it's always OLD men who want to tell me why I and other women aren't with anyone... and they don't have pot to piss in... whatever...

 

[envybeauty]

I wonder why this is... I don't talk about relationship issues with men (just y'all on here on LHCF ) and maybe a few women... but it's always OLD men who want to tell me why I and other women aren't with anyone... and they don't have pot to piss in... whatever...

THANK YOU!!!! THAT IS MY POINT!

Those are the MAIN ones telling other younger men and all women what is wrong with relationships, etc. Yet, these guys are not role models for any kind of relationship yet alone how to be a man.

 

[Sunshine_One]

I may be one lone dissenter....pls don't throw tomatos. I think some of Steve Harvey's advice is on point. Especially about how men view things. I think sometimes we (I know I do) forget that they think differently than we do. Yeah, he's just reminding us about what mom & grandmom have told about not giving up the "cookie" so easily. I always take notice to when he talks about how to read a man intentions from a man's perspective. I think those tips are very helpful.

Just my 2 cent.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

No offense to any SH fans, but I think he's a nut case.
I remember when he said that when he marries a woman they are to be loyal to each other, no friends are supposed to come before either one. I could respect that, then homeboy broke out the whopper. When a woman marries him, she has to leave her old life behind, which means any children from her previous marriage as well as the husband are to be left in the past. He went on to clarify that he told his wife (now ex), it's either him or the kid, no visits, nothing with her previous children or ex.

I was angrier at his stupid wife than I was at him. SH with his damn corpse like makeup, stuck in the damn 1930's. Just cuz' you hit over 50 doesn't mean you have to dress the same way they did when you were 20.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

These men are just SORRY!! They are simply justifying their behavior for being mentally, emotionally, and physically inadequate to hold down an enduring relationship with a woman. I don't know who said it first, but it's just giving these men a reason to place blame (yet again) on someone else besides themselves. These men can't accept that something is WRONG with them and saying crap like this makes them feel better. It's getting tired though, and it's just causing further destruction in relationships because no woman is hearing it and buying it cause we aren't the only ones that need to change. They need to stop lumping us all in one category with the contradictory assessment too. Some women might want this, some women might want that, if they weren't so busy trying to date more than one, they wouldn't be so confused about what WE want.

 

[klb120475]

I may be one lone dissenter....pls don't throw tomatos. I think some of Steve Harvey's advice is on point. Especially about how men view things. I think sometimes we (I know I do) forget that they think differently than we do. Yeah, he's just reminding us about what mom & grandmom have told about not giving up the "cookie" so easily. I always take notice to when he talks about how to read a man intentions from a man's perspective. I think those tips are very helpful.

Just my 2 cent.

I didn't listen to the show this morning, but my bff called raving about it. She was saying it gave her insight on men's pschic on how they think about things.

 

[Bunny77]

THANK YOU!!!! THAT IS MY POINT!

Those are the MAIN ones telling other younger men and all women what is wrong with relationships, etc. Yet, these guys are not role models for any kind of relationship yet alone how to be a man.

Perfect example... we had a thread on this guy a while back. He's married now, but he's damn near 50, I think....

http://blackvoices.aol.com/blogs/2007/03/29/big-boom-ex-pimp-tells-ladies-to-close-their-legs/

 

[envybeauty]

Perfect example... we had a thread on this guy a while back. He's married now, but he's damn near 50, I think....

http://blackvoices.aol.com/blogs/2007/03/29/big-boom-ex-pimp-tells-ladies-to-close-their-legs/

Yup. Ole dog. Wasn't he in Essence (or one of our magazines that ALWAYS find it newsworthy to print their crap instead of highlighting men who are dedicated to family and who knew to do so at an early age)?

 

[SoniT]

I like SH but I take what he says with a grain of salt because, although he's married, it's his 3rd or 4th time. Carla, Shirley and Tommy are single, I think.....

I do think that some of the callers and strawberry letter writers are kinda stoopid, though.

Carla is married. You notice she doesn't comment much on the Strawberry Letter. I don't take Steve seriously anyway. Like someone else said, he's married now but it's his 3rd or 4th marriage.

 

[envybeauty]

Carla is married. You notice she doesn't comment much on the Strawberry Letter. I don't take Steve seriously anyway. Like someone else said, he's married now but it's his 3rd or 4th marriage.

....throwing in the multiple divorces is furthur insulting to black women. Here is it, a man who CLAIMS he knows OOOO SOOOO much about women, yet he can't keep one around long enough. erplexed

He would also be the first to dog a woman who had multiple marriages for not knowing how to keep a man and telling her that the problem lies with her.

pisses me off.

 

[Bunny77]

I may be one lone dissenter....pls don't throw tomatos. I think some of Steve Harvey's advice is on point. Especially about how men view things. I think sometimes we (I know I do) forget that they think differently than we do. Yeah, he's just reminding us about what mom & grandmom have told about not giving up the "cookie" so easily. I always take notice to when he talks about how to read a man intentions from a man's perspective. I think those tips are very helpful.

Just my 2 cent.

Naw, I'm just kidding.

I don't think the problem is the advice, it's moreso who it's coming from and how it's presented. I am interested in hearing how men think, and it's helpful to know what to AVOID... but I think our general point is that a man who is playing the field and divorcing women left and right should not be blaming women when they mess up in their relationships. It's the blame thing I think we women are having problems with.

Quick example... I met some 50-year old dude trying to holla. We are in the same profession, yet I knew he was a fool when he didn't even know what I was talking about when I tried to have work-related conversation. He asked me why I wasn't married and I asked him why did he care... was I breaking a law or something not being married?

He said, "Well, yes, you are going against tradition. People get married!" (mind you, I was 27-28, and he was 50 and unmarried... maybe divorced)

For some reason, I kept talking to him and he asked me what I looked for in a man. I talked about traits like leadership, care/concern for his GF, fiscal responsibility... do you know this fool said that's why a lot of black men go date white women because white women don't say anything about finances?????? :why:

Why the hell did he feel the need to bring that up? And seriously, why should I listen to him? Yes, some men might think like him, but they are the ones I DON'T want... all while he's living in some country-*** town in the middle of nowhere doing hardly anything and then implying that because of my "standard," black men are choosing white women over me.

Okay, I went on toooooo long, but THIS is the kind of mess I think women are tired of and why we're ranting on this thread.

 

[MissJ]

I like SH but I take what he says with a grain of salt because, although he's married, it's his 3rd or 4th time. Carla, Shirley and Tommy are single, I think.....

I do think that some of the callers and strawberry letter writers are kinda stoopid, though.

Carla is married, and Tommy likes big girls.

I like Steve's advice (not that I get his station anymore), but he's been through his young and dumb days and come out a better man from what I can tell. He gives the benefit of that experience to his listeners.

 

[envybeauty]

Naw, I'm just kidding.

I don't think the problem is the advice, it's moreso who it's coming from and how it's presented. I am interested in hearing how men think, and it's helpful to know what to AVOID... but I think our general point is that a man who is playing the field and divorcing women left and right should not be blaming women when they mess up in their relationships. It's the blame thing I think we women are having problems with.

Quick example... I met some 50-year old dude trying to holla. We are in the same profession, yet I knew he was a fool when he didn't even know what I was talking about when I tried to have work-related conversation. He asked me why I wasn't married and I asked him why did he care... was I breaking a law or something not being married?

He said, "Well, yes, you are going against tradition. People get married!" (mind you, I was 27-28, and he was 50 and unmarried... maybe divorced)

For some reason, I kept talking to him and he asked me what I looked for in a man. I talked about traits like leadership, care/concern for his GF, fiscal responsibility... do you know this fool said that's why a lot of black men go date white women because white women don't say anything about finances?????? :why:

Why the hell did he feel the need to bring that up? And seriously, why should I listen to him? Yes, some men might think like him, but they are the ones I DON'T want... all while he's living in some country-*** town in the middle of nowhere doing hardly anything and then implying that because of my "standard," black men are choosing white women over me.

Okay, I went on toooooo long, but THIS is the kind of mess I think women are tired of and why we're ranting on this thread.

I didn't need to read anything further than the first line before posting that I agree with you.

 

[miss Congeniality]

I was just thinking about this today. I don't like some of the advice he gives out and I feel the "crew" just co-sign on everything he says. I feel the same way about Michael Baisden, too, but at least he'll have guest with difference of opinions. The sad part is that some people take this info as gospel instead of entertainment.

 

[Sunshine_One]

No offense to any SH fans, but I think he's a nut case.
I remember when he said that when he marries a woman they are to be loyal to each other, no friends are supposed to come before either one. I could respect that, then homeboy broke out the whopper. When a woman marries him, she has to leave her old life behind, which means any children from her previous marriage as well as the husband are to be left in the past. He went on to clarify that he told his wife (now ex), it's either him or the kid, no visits, nothing with her previous children or ex.

I was angrier at his stupid wife than I was at him. SH with his damn corpse like makeup, stuck in the damn 1930's. Just cuz' you hit over 50 doesn't mean you have to dress the same way they did when you were 20.

Ooooooooh wow, I MISSED this one! I say wow because he's always advising women to make sure they select a man that accepts them and their CHILDREN. To quote his words "it's a package deal." I've heard him say this SO MANY times. He talks about all his kids and how he claims them all, significant other/wife kids included. For him to say that to his exwife is sooo contradictory.

 

[syze6]

Steve is one to talk about relationships, seeing how his now wife was his side piece on and off for YEARS!!

 

[Sunshine_One]

I understand what you and the other ladies in this thread are saying. I guess I just try to find the positive in every situation. I also will admitt that I found it refresing to hear a male perspecitve in broadcast media. For all his faults, I still think SH's views/advice a WAY more balanced than say Michael Baidsen. I can't tolerate listening to him for more than 5 minutes. He also has a large male listening audience....Go figure. Also better than show on TVONE Black Men Revealed. Sometimes I just get so tired of talking with women about these issues I think we need a male perspective because we just go round and round with no real solution. I mean that across the board...online and IRL.

As for the scenario you shared below, I'm staring to believe that there are far MORE men who think the way that guy did than not. erplexed

As for age... I remeber that being mentioned in an earlier post. I don't think being older disqualifies you from giving good advice or insight. You have llved your life longer and hopefully you've learned a thing or two to pass on. On the other hand young people can have wisdowm beyond their years also. I'm in my 30's and truth be told I'm closer to 40 than 30. But in a lot of ways things today are not too much different than when I was in my 20's. Especially on the dating scene. That was only 10 years ago.

I think that is very sad for our community as a whole. I'm single and would like to get married but the majority of the men I meet (african american) in my peer group who slightly younger or older are just not interested in that type lifestyle.

Slightly OT: Have any of you ladies ever listend to the Audrey Chapman Show? If you have what do you think of her views. I used to listen you her regulary and she often has good guest. However, I find that I don't enjoy her show now as much as I did in the past.

Naw, I'm just kidding.

I don't think the problem is the advice, it's moreso who it's coming from and how it's presented. I am interested in hearing how men think, and it's helpful to know what to AVOID... but I think our general point is that a man who is playing the field and divorcing women left and right should not be blaming women when they mess up in their relationships. It's the blame thing I think we women are having problems with.

Quick example... I met some 50-year old dude trying to holla. We are in the same profession, yet I knew he was a fool when he didn't even know what I was talking about when I tried to have work-related conversation. He asked me why I wasn't married and I asked him why did he care... was I breaking a law or something not being married?

He said, "Well, yes, you are going against tradition. People get married!" (mind you, I was 27-28, and he was 50 and unmarried... maybe divorced)

For some reason, I kept talking to him and he asked me what I looked for in a man. I talked about traits like leadership, care/concern for his GF, fiscal responsibility... do you know this fool said that's why a lot of black men go date white women because white women don't say anything about finances?????? :why:

Why the hell did he feel the need to bring that up? And seriously, why should I listen to him? Yes, some men might think like him, but they are the ones I DON'T want... all while he's living in some country-*** town in the middle of nowhere doing hardly anything and then implying that because of my "standard," black men are choosing white women over me.

Okay, I went on toooooo long, but THIS is the kind of mess I think women are tired of and why we're ranting on this thread.

 

[chicitygirl]

I pretty much hate the Steve Harvey Show. It just came to Chicago a few months ago and I hate that they replaced our good, local morning show with his syndicated crappy show. I should have turned off the radio after he told that woman that she should stay with the man that's been married 5 times. That was the biggest load of crap I've heard in a minute. He seems to have a huge bias and double standard in how he views male/female interactions. Some of the stuff he says is just common sense, and some of it is just a darn lie.