butter_pecan
Well-Known Member
[please delete post]
***Nevermind; decided not to share***
***Nevermind; decided not to share***
Last edited:
Aww, well I hope whatever it is gets resolved soon...
Deleted. I hope you put it back up. There's good advice on here for this prob.
@butter_pecan I don't understand your fine as heck and your smart and live the fab life..it must be you have so many to choice from you don't know what to do..you could have a flavor of the day..
Girl, get outta my head!! I feel the same way a lot of times. And it's only going to get worse I fear.I sorta wish I grew up in a different era bc this one is so horrid.
Aww GoddessMaker thanks! You really put a smile on my face!!! Hopefully, you believe what I say about you then LOL
No, I really never meet anyone. I always have to resort going back to an ex just so I can get some because the dating scene is terrible (especially in the Midwest). My problems:
1) Guys usually hint they want some off the bat (ain't happening)
2) They aren't educated enough or make enough $$ for my liking
3) Or they are educated/well off but are jerks
4) They are boring and we have nothing in common
It just sucks. I will likely postpone dating until I relocate again.
Hold on ladies! Close your hearts to foolishness and open your hearts to goodness, respect, loving kindness. When you adore and protect yourself, your heart, and your body, things really start to fall in place. Don't give up and don't give up your power either. The more you demand and expect, the more you will get. That is my truth and yours too.
I'm sorry but these are just cliches to me now, I just don't feel it anymore.
Hold on ladies! Close your hearts to foolishness and open your hearts to goodness, respect, loving kindness. When you adore and protect yourself, your heart, and your body, things really start to fall in place. Don't give up and don't give up your power either. The more you demand and expect, the more you will get. That is my truth and yours too.
(my mentioning isn't working so bare with me) Curlymoo: I know it might sound cliche what hopeful said but it's so true. About us being born in the wrong era, I sometimes feel that way too. The other day I was reading a blog or a magazine (can't remember) and a lady said that this generation got the bad batch of men, that cut me deep for some reason. I beg to differ, there are still plenty of good men out there. My sister had a relationship with such a man about three years ago but broke it off because she didn't love him. My other sister was with a man for ten years, they were very happy at first but he became abusive towards the end. Not too long after she found another man and has been with him for ten years too, they have three children together, this man worships the ground she walks on! Me personally, it's like chelleypie810 said: there's so much to explore! I've decided I'm going to be happy with or without a man. But I'm really trying to get rid of the idea that there are no good men left and that's the reason that's keeping me single, it's too depressing.
What about good single attractive childless educated straight men in the right age group and location?
This! There are plenty of good men out there, but you'll always find what you're looking for so if you think all men are bad, you'll keep running into the bad ones. It's like when you want a particular thing (e.g., a car) and all of a sudden you see it everywhere. It may seem like EVERYBODY ran out and bought your dream car, but those cars existed before you noticed them. The only difference is now you see them. Same thing with good men. They're all around us, but we have to want to see them. The idea that there are no good men left is toxic and absolutely untrue.
lushcoils
Life works on many levels. Statistically speaking, pure numbers, you may feel overwhelmed and like wow, things aren't and can't work out for me. And yet I'm sure you meet black women every day who have a decent man. What do you tell yourself then? That she is lucky? Or that she is a unicorn? Or that her man is not that great? You can focus on what is impossible or focus on what is possible. Do all you can then let it go. Really let it go. Like you never let anything go before. You just have to trust that no matter what things will work out one way or the other and as hard as it is you have to understand that this here is your challenge on earth. Really grow, expand, open up to whatever the lessons are for you. We often think the lesson is something bad like we are inferior or not meant to be happy or loved. But the answer is usually that you are more beautiful than you know and that you deserve to be loved.
I have had immense challenges in my life and nothing ever changes unless something deeply changes in me first, like on a cellular level. Look inward at your heart and your thoughts. Really, that's all you have power over. And I'm not talking about self-improvement like taking a class or traveling or losing weight. It's scary to surrender and trust. It's sometimes easier to focus on statistics and the no good men, there's security there, safety. But thinking that way is unproductive. If it wasn't you'd settle on those thoughts and go on about your life.
I'd suggest you find some women who were in your situation and things changed. Women who look like you and thought like you and experienced life like you. Ask them what changed. Examples may be things like: I decided to hire a matchmaker; I changed what I was looking for; I went on a spiritual retreat; I moved to another city, changed jobs, etc.; I decided to act like I was the prettiest woman in the room no matter who else was there. My point is something almost always changes from within. From now until the end of the year try to only focus on what is possible. Seek out women who have what you want. Ask them pointedly what they did differently.
Here are a couple articles I thought might be interesting.
http://www.wikihow.com/Come-to-Terms-with-Feeling-Ugly
http://www.beyondblackwhite.com/black-women-love-and-where-they-wont-find-it-part-2/
For awhile refuse to read one single post or article that agrees with your current beliefs.
That's all I got for now.