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sweetvi
DO NOT QUOTE PLEASE.
A lot has transpired in the last 24 hours. You ladies have helped a lot and was wondering if I could receive some more advice. Yesterday I decided I wanted to go out with my roommate (for those that didn't read the OP, she was there with me when her boyfriend took advantage of me being drunk/high). We had made plans to do this on Friday. So anyway she was texting back and forth with someone and acting strange all day. I immediately realize who it is... her "ex"boyfriend. The one who raped me. I didn't want to believe it though. So I ignored it. We always leave out to go to the bar by midnight. Around 10:15 she up and tells me she's running to the gas station to get some candy. I'm like "ok".
It was just so random. I knew something was up. The gas station is about a minute away (it's right beside our apartments). She comes back around 11:10pm. I know what's going on but I don't allow my thoughts to get to me. I wait until 11:30 to ask her why she isn't get ready to go out. She tells me "fine... but my hair isn't done". At that point I'm furious. I lose it mentally. I don't let it show though. I tell her "fine, nevermind". I proceed to get ready to go out alone. (Honestly I just needed to get away from the apt because I'm still very upset about the sexual assault incident and everything that has happened since it occurred) . So I go out around 12:30 and come back around 2am. She's gone. Her car isn't in the parking space. There's only one place she would be at 2am... I drive to his place. Her car is parked right outside his house.
I have a nervous breakdown right there in the parking lot. I call two of my friends. With one I'm crying hysterically. Ladies, I'm not the type of person to wear my emotions on my sleeve. I've always been the strong one. The one people come to for advice because I always look like I have together. Well that night (last night) any emotion I had never expressed came out. Now I understand. Everything is clear to me now. The only reason I was able to keep it together slightly since that night (the night of the incident at his place) was because I thought I could share the pain with my roommate. I thought she had equally been hurt by him. I never shared the longer story (or at least I don't think so). But a week before me and my roommate went over to his place to smoke and drink. (Mind you, this man has been with my roommate for close to a year and was talking marriage) After an hour of smoking I fall asleep on the couch next to him and her, asleep on his lap. I'm on one end. He's in the middle with my sleeping roommate. I wake up to him sucking on one of my boobs.
I pull away immediately and onto the floor. I didn't tell her about that incident because I thought he had just made an instance of bad judgment. He was very high at the time. I didn't want to ruin what they had together because of his stupidity. Yes I know that sounds crazy. I should have told her then. What's done is done. Hindsight is 20/20. I got it. Anyway, after the rape incident (which is the following week) I tell her what happened the week before. Strangely enough she's not as upset as I thought she would be. She's slightly shocked but the look lasts for only a brief moment. I didn't think much of it. People deal with anger/hurt differently. Maybe she just needed some time to process it.... Anyway, I'm telling you ladies all of that so you can understand the hurt I am feeling due to who I thought was my best friend's betrayal. I am so angry and hurt right now I don't know what to do with myself. The pain cuts as sharp as it did that morning when I woke up in that bed nearly naked.
After last night I have come to this conclusion: she had the whole ordeal set up. She knew what was going to happen that night. She knew it all along. And I believe the only reason she played the victim card was for two reasons: to get the morning after pill for free from our campus health services and to keep me from reporting the incident to the police. I believe the latter because she knew that if I felt that she understood what I was going through we could help each other get through the situation without making it into a bigger deal. Her being in contact with him less than two weeks after the incident doesn't add up otherwise. I mean I slept with her for a week straight because I didn't want to sleep alone. She soothed me to sleep each time I woke up crying. The fact that I know he doesn't give a sh*t about what he did to me and you're sitting here in front of me texting him LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AFTER THE INCIDENT.... It's taking everything in me not to go back to his place and punch both of them in the face and jack up both of their cars. I'm just so angry!!! How can someone be so cruel???!!!!! HOW CAN THAT BE??!!!!!
A lot of you ladies strongly urged me to report it/press charges. And stupid me didn't want to hear it. Well later today I plan to do just that. I know it's probably too late to press charges. I've already washed all of my clothes from that night. But I will at least report it.
As far as the advice that I'm asking for, do you ladies think I should report it through my university or go to the police directly? I had my finals moved (due to not being able to focus on studying) already so I have a little bit of time to deal with situation before I have resume studying. Also what should I expect for the ladies that have gone through a similar situation? I really don't want my parents to know. So I'm hoping I won't need any resources (funds or information) from them. Also any other information I may need to know about this process please let me know.
TIA
But I'm teaching myself to let go. Things happen. What's important is how you react to it. 
for you, OP. 
of a roommate go down with him. You should definitely look for new living quarters. You do not need to be anywhere near those two MFs.
, it's okay. But you must take some action. We aren't there, we can't hold you, we can't press charges, we can't give you therapy. You need real, live help. And not just friends your age, you need real, grown-up, experienced help and support. You are in crisis right now and you must seek out the support and help you need and deserve.
