Spinoff: Would You Date A Nonblack Man Who Used The N-word?

Would you date a white

  • Sure. It doesn't make him a bad person.

  • Hell nah.

  • It depends.

  • Only if he's not white.

  • If he'said a wigger, he can say n*****

Results are only viewable after voting.
they all say it.

ive only heard it twice in a scenario involving a white guy i was dating. one was hanging out with his family, his brother was telling a story about some racist dude they met - actually it wasnt the n word, it was a slur i had never heard of at the time based on the n word. i was like wtf?

the second time is a guy im seeing off and on mainly as fwb, he said something about people hating the "n-words and the k-words" but used the words... he thought it was cool because he was obviously saying it in a context of like pointing out how awful other people are and also it was kind of a slight against himself as well because he is jewish. however, i dont want any white person saying that in front of me and i got serious real quick and shut it down. now he will not even say it in context around me (which is the consequence i wanted to invoke) and jokingly mentions how badly he was scolded last time he said it.

im of the position that i do not want to hear it, period, and you as a white person are simply not allowed to say it, period, no exceptions, no arguments about context or why or whatever. but the existence of it, i cant make that a hardline issue because its a part of our culture and i dont know who im supposed to date to avoid it?
 
Nope.

I dont mind the word when discussing history, race, or recanting stories in a blow by fashion. Referring to people as n** is different for me.

Lightheartedly for no reason, no. In a racist manner, obviously no.

Funny thing is the only wm that has said something really dodgy to me was a wigger type. Well not in the usual presentation of a wigger, but he had a black neighbourhood, friends and ex wife. I didn't talk to him again.
 
ah, that would be a negative. I don't date non-black men, not even biracials. I've dated hispanics but they've all been black.

oh, I lied. I dated one white dude, an Italian that was dark but his family was racist and he hid me from them. That was my first, last and only that white dude I dated and I was in hs then.
 
Lemme add an OP disclaimer :

This is not a pro-black or black love thread.

I don't condone that ish. I'm not pro-blacklove or pro-IR. I honestly don't care lol

I just don't want anyone to be intimidated to express themselves in any which direction :-)
 
tru4reele said:
Hell no. And I wouldn't date a white man anyway. I have figured out that they think we are beneath them anyway, whether they date us or befriend us.
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I know someone dating a white man who runs a business staffed by black workers. She is black,but not Kenyan and the workers are. Anywhoo her man treats his workers like trash and there are emails to a lawyer more than once asking if what he did could get him sued. Could not be me.
 
No and you don't get comfortable and get any passes on anything you hear me say or do. That's how it works in my relationship and he hangs around more black people than white but not young blacks more like older black pastors and politicians and we've never even had it come up as a problem or an issue.
 
This thread is funny ain't no one here gonna admit it (true or not true if they would allow it). I think the questions is more so do you allow others as in friends and associates to say the n word. I don't date anyone Black or other who says the n word. However I have been around wiggers, basic white boys, and white girls who use the word as if its apart of their basic vocabulary. I hate hearing others use the word but I have long since stopped trying to even tell them off or curse them out expecting them to shut up and stop. Why? Because I have seen both Black girls and Black guys okay their special friend or date as if they are an honorary Black person o_O Oh it's cool he/she grew up around Black people, their half Black, they foreign, gotta black date... blah blah blah! I just give them the side eye, make a mental note, and keep my friends/associates list even shorter.
 
Mocha126 said:
This thread is funny ain't no one here gonna admit it (true or not true if they would allow it). I think the questions is more so do you allow others as in friends and associates to say the n word. I don't date anyone Black or other who says the n word. However I have been around wiggers, basic white boys, and white girls who use the word as if its apart of their basic vocabulary. I hate hearing others use the word but I have long since stopped trying to even tell them off or curse them out expecting them to shut up and stop. Why? Because I have seen both Black girls and Black guys okay their special friend or date as if they are an honorary Black person o_O Oh it's cool he/she grew up around Black people, their half Black, they foreign, gotta black date... blah blah blah! I just give them the side eye, make a mental note, and keep my friends/associates list even shorter.
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it is really not difficult to hang around with people who have enough sense not to say the n word in front of you, or who are incapable of understanding you do not want it said in front of you.
 
CaraWalker said:
it is really not difficult to hang around with people who have enough sense not to say the n word in front of you, or who are incapable of understanding you do not want it said in front of you.
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Which is why I say I keep my list of friends and associates short. But if I'm in a club at my university or any large group festivity there is usually something like this occurring.
 
Mocha126 said:
This thread is funny ain't no one here gonna admit it (true or not true if they would allow it). I think the questions is more so do you allow others as in friends and associates to say the n word. I don't date anyone Black or other who says the n word. However I have been around wiggers, basic white boys, and white girls who use the word as if its apart of their basic vocabulary. I hate hearing others use the word but I have long since stopped trying to even tell them off or curse them out expecting them to shut up and stop. Why? Because I have seen both Black girls and Black guys okay their special friend or date as if they are an honorary Black person o_O Oh it's cool he/she grew up around Black people, their half Black, they foreign, gotta black date... blah blah blah! I just give them the side eye, make a mental note, and keep my friends/associates list even shorter.
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And none of this is OK. Passivity is what allows people to keep thinking it's OK. I check BM that do that and the non-whites that try and use it too.
 
If BM are ok with letting these non black women say the N word, then I'm almost at the point where I"m gonna say why am I still sticking up for ya'll if you're not even checking them on it.
 
Zaynab said:
And none of this is OK. Passivity is what allows people to keep thinking it's OK. I check BM that do that and the non-whites that try and use it too.
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You are right passivity is not okay. But I honestly just stopped caring, it got to the point I had more Black people okaying their use of the word , giving passes, and just run on arguments so I just stopped. Unless this is a one on one or three person group where, then I let them know upfront conversation will not continue and they will not use the n word around me.
 
The only people Ive seen BM allow to say that are NYC latinos. all day everyday in subway and what not. They are usually teens.

I reember on Scrubs when JD was trying to come up with an arguement on how he should be able to say it while singing along to sings with Turk, and Turk's like noep nope hell no.
 
I wouldn't date any BM, who used the N word regularly, nor would I date a non-BM who used the N word at all. My FH is an other. He doesn't use the N word and I can't imagine him ever using it under any circumstance. However, at this point, if I heard him say it, I'm not sure I would necessarily leave. :look: It would depend on the context. But I would let him know that it's not okay.
 
Is this even a thing? Don't all guys that date Black women know that word is off limits?

I've done a lot of interracial dating, and I've never ever heard a non-Black man that I've been involved with say the n word. Not even once.

I don't use that word. And the Black men that I've dated don't use it either.

Now I have heard plenty of ghetto white women with mixed kids drop the n word. I think that their men just don't have the education, class, or cultural pride to check them.
 
HollyGolightly said:
Not trying to derail the thread, but why don't you consider biracials Black?

I think they count, as long as they identify as Black.
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I care more about phenotype than genotype, so if you look black and identify as black cool. I want black children and with biracials you never know how the offsprings will fair. I'm not taking any chances and have those recessive genes show up.
 
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