Spinoff: Relationships and Sex...

[glamazon386]

This is a spinoff of the booty call thread. Somebody said that people have booty calls when they don't really have the time to entertain everything that a real relationship entails. So how long do you wait to have sex when you actually enter a real relationship?

 

[Poohbear]

'til marriage.

 

[glamazon386]

'til marriage.

lol Pooh you didn't waste no time answering.

 

[klb120475]

'til marriage.

Same here....

 

[Poohbear]

lol Pooh you didn't waste no time answering.

I posted before you created the poll! :Blush2:

 

[camellia]

I never had a set time frame.

If I wanted to have sex right away I went for it. I was never without condoms when I was single.

That probably makes me "ho" according to some of the criteria posted in the other thread. Oh well... I had fun with no regrets.

 

[glamazon386]

I posted before you created the poll! :Blush2:

LOL I thought so! When I went to look at the thread and the poll your response was already there.

 

[frankie]

Immediately!!! It was a loooong six and a half months of dating that fine man. I had been abstaining from sex before I met him so tack on that time and you have a very deprived frankie.

ETA: That's how I handled this relationship b/c that's when I wanted it...I don't have a standard/generic timeframe for all relationships.

 

[GoingNatural]

I don't know every situation is diff. I haven't had a lot of partners, but sometimes isn't waiting for sex like delaying the inevitable?

I can understand waiting for sex because of religious reasons or you don't want the relationship to be all about sex. But I mean it's going to happen sooner or later in other cases so why miss out on good sex?

 

[miss Congeniality]

I wait 2-3 months before dropping the panties. It could possible be longer.

 

[glamazon386]

I don't know every situation is diff. I haven't had a lot of partners, but sometimes isn't waiting for sex like delaying the inevitable?

I can understand waiting for sex because of religious reasons or you don't want the relationship to be all about sex. But I mean it's going to happen sooner or later in other cases so why miss out on good sex?

I agree. I feel that every situation is different. And I find that with men, if they have already made up in their mind that they want you to be their gf, then it doesn't matter when you have sex. If it's sooner or later it doesn't matter. They'll wait if they feel its worth it. I think the thing is, if you have sex on a first date or something like that most of the time the man doesn't know you well enough by then and then it may influence how they feel towards you. Which could turn out to be negatively.

 

[locabouthair]

okay im trying not to think about sex and all these sex threads are not helping

 

[bLackButtaFly]

okay im trying not to think about sex and all these sex threads are not helping

Me too! I need to step back from these dang threads, lol.

IMO it really depends. I think if you're safe and really listen to your head and your heart you'll make the best decision. It's different every situation.

 

[*Frisky*]

I never had a set time frame.

If I wanted to have sex right away I went for it. I was never without condoms when I was single.

That probably makes me "ho" according to some of the criteria posted in the other thread. Oh well... I had fun with no regrets.

Good for you...For the most part I usually held off for awhile but there were a few times I just couldnt resist And my husband was one of those times.

 

[GoingNatural]

I agree. I feel that every situation is different. And I find that with men, if they have already made up in their mind that they want you to be their gf, then it doesn't matter when you have sex. If it's sooner or later it doesn't matter. They'll wait if they feel its worth it. I think the thing is, if you have sex on a first date or something like that most of the time the man doesn't know you well enough by then and then it may influence how they feel towards you. Which could turn out to be negatively.

Yeah first date is a bit different. can't really going around thinking

"Hey, this might work we had a good dinner, I should sleep with him now because me and him might be forever"

We can't delude ourselves, and women often do.

we also can't think we are going to have sex with someone because this relationship may be it. I mean call me Negative Nellie, but when you decide to have sex you have to understand the relationship may not be forever. Make a mental prenup--you can't get sex back after the "divorce".

But every situation is different. He may have been a friend for months and now you guys see a *spark" and start taking steps to make it more serious..shoot who knows he may get it.

I am talking out my butt though. I don't plan on having sex for a long time, but I also don't plan on even getting close to anyone like that.

 

[glamazon386]

Yeah first date is a bit different. can't really going around thinking

"Hey, this might work we had a good dinner, I should sleep with him now because me and him might be forever"

We can't delude ourselves, and women often do.

we also can't think we are going to have sex with someone because this relationship may be it. I mean call me Negative Nellie, but when you decide to have sex you have to understand the relationship may not be forever. Make a mental prenup--you can't get sex back after the "divorce".

But every situation is different. He may have been a friend for months and now you guys see a *spark" and start taking steps to make it more serious..shoot who knows he may get it.

I am talking out my butt though. I don't plan on having sex for a long time, but I also don't plan on even getting close to anyone like that.

You're right. I agree with everything you said. I think when you're already friends with somebody sometimes that makes it different versus it just being a first date kind of thing.

I also think that arbitrary time limits are a bit absurd. Think about Joan on Girlfriends with her 3 month rule that never worked out in her favor.

 

[HoneyDew]

I never had a set time frame.

If I wanted to have sex right away I went for it. I was never without condoms when I was single.

That probably makes me "ho" according to some of the criteria posted in the other thread. Oh well... I had fun with no regrets.

camellia, that does not make you a ho in my book. It makes you a sexually secure woman. Sex is not just for the guy, we have needs and desires, too. People need to just take responsibilties for what THEY DO. All that "boo ho ho, he did not call me the next day" crap is very young! If I want it I am going to do it and not feel bad about it, i just always think twice before I do anything. If the 2nd thought says "go for it" (or not) , I am not mad at myself for what decision I make.

 

[HoneyDew]

I agree. I feel that every situation is different. And I find that with men, if they have already made up in their mind that they want you to be their gf, then it doesn't matter when you have sex. If it's sooner or later it doesn't matter. They'll wait if they feel its worth it. I think the thing is, if you have sex on a first date or something like that most of the time the man doesn't know you well enough by then and then it may influence how they feel towards you. Which could turn out to be negatively.

My SO and I did it on the 1st date. We just could not resist. I was surprised at myself actually. I, at least, wait a few dates!

But, something was just there and I felt it (no pun intended )

We have been together ever since. (4 years)

 

[GoingNatural]

I also thing age and maturity plays a factor in your wait time. If I'm 45 and single I'm going to be getting me some sex. By any means necessary!!!! I doubt i'll be held back by "accepted social norms"

 

[GoingNatural]

My SO and I did it on the 1st date. We just could not resist. I was surprised at myself actually. I, at least, wait a few dates!

But, something was just there and I felt it (no pun intended )

We have been together ever since. (4 years)

How long did you guys know eachother before your first date? I don't think there is anything wrong with that I just want to see how that played a factor.

 

[dlewis]

Before DH, I'd been without any for over a year. So, I did wait very long with him.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I can't say.

If I am looking for an ACTUAL relationship, then I want to wait until I feel like I 'know' you. Me and my SO didn't have sex until 2 years after we met (and we still weren't in a relationship but that's another thread ).

I am also a slow mover. I am not want to rush things. I like to take my time and make sure I know the man I want to be in a relationship with.

Now just a random hook-up that's a different thread.

 

[bimbabe]

Back when I was single, it depended on the person, if I saw them as relationship material I would try to delay sex as far as possible so that I could really get to know them. It also depended on how bad I wanted some

 

[klb120475]

I can't say.

If I am looking for an ACTUAL relationship, then I want to wait until I feel like I 'know' you. Me and my SO didn't have sex until 2 years after we met (and we still weren't in a relationship but that's another thread ).

I am also a slow mover. I am not want to rush things. I like to take my time and make sure I know the man I want to be in a relationship with.

Now just a random hook-up that's a different thread.

So, are you gonna start the thread?

 

[HoneyDew]

How long did you guys know eachother before your first date? I don't think there is anything wrong with that I just want to see how that played a factor.

Let's see we met at a coffee shop one day. We actually sat and had coffee together that day. I like him so much just from that 10 min sit down.

We talked on the phone a few time for about a week. I was OPEN - he was so funny, smart, charming and witty. about a week and a half after I met him at the coffee shop, we went out for a casual date. WE HAD SO MUCH FUN!!

That night it was ALL over! When he asked me if I wanted to come into his house I did not have to think hard about it at all. I wanted that man!!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

People should have sex in a relationship when they feel most comfortable. I know A LOT of ladies who went for it on the first date, and are still in healthy, long-term relationships with those guys. I also know ladies who waited a certain amount of time only to have it backfire. It's like Joan Clayton, who realized that her 3 month rule was only to somehow control something that really didn't have any positive effects. If it feels right, and you are not using sex as a control mechanism, go for it.

With that being said. I already made the vow to save myself for marriage. It's hard because many guys are not having it. But I know I'm not ready to make that step yet.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

So, are you gonna start the thread?

I am done sharing personal things on LHCF. Maybe if I get married but other than that, a single person saying something like that would only get "well THAT'S why yall ain't married" replies. No siiiiirrrrr.

 

[glamazon386]

My SO and I did it on the 1st date. We just could not resist. I was surprised at myself actually. I, at least, wait a few dates!

But, something was just there and I felt it (no pun intended )

We have been together ever since. (4 years)

See there ya go. Y'all both already had your minds made up.

 

[HoneyDew]

I am done sharing personal things on LHCF. Maybe if I get married but other than that, a single person saying something like that would only get "well THAT'S why yall ain't married" replies. No siiiiirrrrr.

Locks, has someone said that to you? Don't pay any attention to that stuff. I support not sharing to much personal info, but if someone says that to you, it is very silly and inconsiderate of them to do so!!!!

 

[scorpian]

My SO and I did it on the 1st date. We just could not resist. I was surprised at myself actually. I, at least, wait a few dates!

But, something was just there and I felt it (no pun intended )

We have been together ever since. (4 years)

Same here...married 9yrs...together over 13 yrs