Spinoff:If You Have Gay Friends or Family

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

If you are christian observant, I'd like to know how you react to friends or family when they come out of the closet. Do you reject them? Do you proselytize them? Offer to pray for them? Do you have an ongoing relationship with them or has it changed since finding out? How do you justify your feelings and/or behavior towards them, whether positive or negative?

 

[Renewed1]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

I'm going to throw a little fuel to the fire and open it up generally for all. If you have friends that are heterosexual and you know they are having sex outside of marriage, do you also tell them you disapprove of their lifestyle? Is there any difference in treatment you give from one "sin" to the next?

 

[kayte]

How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it

.
co-sign...


Let's ask Jesus ..as the question refers specifically to sexual sin
Mathew 21:31
Verily verily I say unto you even the prostitutes and the tax collectors go before you into heaven

he said this to the pharisees the elite religious sect..
He also said there is NO ONE righteous
no NOT one

 

[kayte]

...........................
deciding to answer the original question..is all

 

[daydreem2876]

I will start by saying that I am on the fence when it comes to the nature vs. nurture argument in regards to homosexuality. IMHO, it can go both ways. (<<< Simply my belief and I will not entertain any dialouge, challenges, or arguments about it)

That being said, I feel like it is not for me to act on either way but it for God to handle. We all have our sins. In God's eyes, what makes one sin worse than another? How can I expect others to love me regardless of my sins, if I am not willing to do the same? Who am I to make them feel inferior within the body of Christ? Who am I to make them feel like outcasts in God's eyes? I feel like my friends do not have to answer to me about whatever their sins are, they have to answer to God. My job is to show them the same love and mercy God shows me.

 

[divya]

I just pray for them but still treat them with love. Family is family...speaking from personal experience here.

 

[Sistaslick]

If you are christian observant, I'd like to know how you react to friends or family when they come out of the closet. Do you reject them? Do you proselytize them? Offer to pray for them? Do you have an ongoing relationship with them or has it changed since finding out? How do you justify your feelings and/or behavior towards them, whether positive or negative?

Girl, We pray for each other b/c Lord knows we both need a Word.

 

[Renewed1]

I'm going to throw a little fuel to the fire and open it up generally for all. If you have friends that are heterosexual and you know they are having sex outside of marriage, do you also tell them you disapprove of their lifestyle? Is there any difference in treatment you give from one "sin" to the next?

YES I DO! LOL!!

My friends (Christian/Secular) know that I don't approve of pre-matrial sex. I let them know it!! But my delivery of my messages is loving and non-judgemental. One thing I do realize is that people are going to do whatever they feel for the moment.

 

[Highly Favored8]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

You said your post so perfectly. I agree 1000%

 

[Highly Favored8]

YES I DO! LOL!!

My friends (Christian/Secular) know that I don't approve of pre-matrial sex. I let them know it!! But my delivery of my messages is loving and non-judgemental. One thing I do realize is that people are going to do whatever they feel for the moment.

I can lay my hat right there.

 

[MrsQueeny]

If you are christian observant, I'd like to know how you react to friends or family when they come out of the closet. Do you reject them? Do you proselytize them? Offer to pray for them? Do you have an ongoing relationship with them or has it changed since finding out? How do you justify your feelings and/or behavior towards them, whether positive or negative?

My favorite uncle in the world is gay. When he came out, I wrote him a letter telling him that I loved him no matter what. My love for him hasn't changed. He and his partner have been together for over 11 years. When I visit my family in NY, we go visit them as well. They love my family and we love them. There is nothing to discuss. My uncle obviously understands my position and he was so proud when I got licensed. He called and everything. So inspite of me not agreeing with his lifestyle, it has never impacted our relationship. That's why I shake my head at folks when they try to call me a homophobe for my views. They really don't have any idea. I love my uncle and will never stop. Aside from everything else, I want him to know Christ for himself. When he stands before the Lord in judgment, I want him to hear, "Well done." That is my prayer for all of my friends and family, not just him. Q

I'm going to throw a little fuel to the fire and open it up generally for all. If you have friends that are heterosexual and you know they are having sex outside of marriage, do you also tell them you disapprove of their lifestyle? Is there any difference in treatment you give from one "sin" to the next?

I don't have to tell them, because they already know. I don't treat them different from how I treat my uncle mentioned above. I have a way with words and I only say something if led by God to do so. And when I do, it is done in a loving way and not to condemn but to set free. John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Q

 

[Allandra]

I treat them like I treat everyone else (nice and kind).

 

[Ramya]

I don't have any homosexual friends/relatives that I know of so I'll address the premarital sex thing.

My friends and family are CLEAR about what I think of premarital sex. We address it from time to time but I don't force my beliefs on them. I treat them the same. Yes, I would love for them to abstain but it's not my call. I have to love them unconditionally and when my personal emotions and feelings get in the way, I ask God to help me. I would be messed up if God chose to love me conditionally.

 

[cutiebe2]

I think that people are born Gay. I believe there are sexual abnormalities. Just as things can go wrong physically or mentally, things can go wrong sexually.

Because of this is really just feel sorry for many of them because from many of the Gays I have talked to there is an inner struggle just as much as they struggle with the people around them. I just continue to pray.
No one in my family is gay though....

PS...I am excluding those people who are obviously just confused or want to act crazy and be very "sexually free". Usually you can spot them really quickly. They just need to get it together

 

[Shimmie]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

Same here. My family members and friends (who are gay) KNOW where/how I stand with this. They also know the word of God...fully on this subject as well.

I don't get into debates/issues with them. It's too draining. But one thing I do know is that they don't want to be where they are; and they are yielded more to prayer and the love of God than to the lifestyle of homosexuality.

I have to leave it there and allow God to deliver them. Preaching at them, won't resolve or make it go away; but my loving prayers for them availeth much and God prevails and avails far more in their hearts and lives.

I love my family members and the friends that I have who are gay. They know that I love them and do not wish to hurt them or shun them and I don't. I still maintain my faith and stand on the issue, however it's still 'family' and my friends no matter what.

 

[Shimmie]

My favorite uncle in the world is gay. When he came out, I wrote him a letter telling him that I loved him no matter what. My love for him hasn't changed. He and his partner have been together for over 11 years. When I visit my family in NY, we go visit them as well. They love my family and we love them.

There is nothing to discuss. My uncle obviously understands my position and he was so proud when I got licensed. He called and everything. So inspite of me not agreeing with his lifestyle, it has never impacted our relationship.

That's why I shake my head at folks when they try to call me a homophobe for my views. They really don't have any idea. I love my uncle and will never stop. Aside from everything else, I want him to know Christ for himself. When he stands before the Lord in judgment, I want him to hear, "Well done." That is my prayer for all of my friends and family, not just him. Q

I don't have to tell them, because they already know. I don't treat them different from how I treat my uncle mentioned above. I have a way with words and I only say something if led by God to do so. And when I do, it is done in a loving way and not to condemn but to set free. John 8:36 If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. Q

Lady 'Q', your post is so heartwarming.

One of my favorite cousins is gay. She used to babysit me for my mom when I was 2-4 years old. I remember when she married; her husband is/was a traveling musician and they have four beautiful children. I also remember the heartache that everyone expressed when she and her husband divorced.

It wasn't until I was older and married that I found out about her change in lifestyle. She was suffering from a broken heart; her husband was always cheating on her. I still didn't understand, but my love for her never, never changed, it only grew more. She was family and she always loved me and took good care of me when I was a child.

When I think of my cousin, I don't think of what she's doing. I think of her as my friend who always looked after me when I was growing up.

I do have an issue..... She cut off her long beautiful wavy hair.

How could she...

 

[chicacanella]

Same here. My family members and friends (who are gay) KNOW where/how I stand with this. They also know the word of God...fully on this subject as well.

I don't get into debates/issues with them. It's too draining. But one thing I do know is that they don't want to be where they are; and they are yielded more to prayer and the love of God than to the lifestyle of homosexuality.

I have to leave it there and allow God to deliver them. Preaching at them, won't resolve or make it go away; but my loving prayers for them availeth much and God prevails and avails far more in their hearts and lives.

I love my family members and the friends that I have who are gay. They know that I love them and do not wish to hurt them or shun them and I don't. I still maintain my faith and stand on the issue, however it's still 'family' and my friends no matter what.

I totally agree. Most people know where you stand anyway.

 

[inthepink]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

Wow - that is an excellent way to put things!

There is a transgender who is in one of my Bible studies. I cannot figure it out in my mind how God wants me to feel about this. I know that every single person who attends church has sin. But, I guess this person's sin is out there in the open.

So, I tried to compare it. Say, there is a couple's bible study. A married man who belongs to the church is having an affair. Would it be acceptable for him to bring his mistress to a Bible study?

On the other hand, if someone is having sex outside of marriage, is it ok for them to attend church and bible study?

Why are some things ok and some things not?

I know it is not my place to say anything to this person, judge this person or to even ask if they are aware of their portrayal of sin. This person also acts like a know-it-all when it comes to the Word.

I am just so confused. I suppose it is not my place. I sometimes just don't know how I'm supposed to feel about things.

 

[Renewed1]

Hairlove,

The one thing I learned during my Christian walk is that God considers sin is sin no matter what it is. There are no big sins or little sins, men have a tendency to judge the worth of sins.

Don't treat the transgender person any different from anyone else. He/she is there for a reason or he/she is looking for something that is evidently higher than man. I guess what I am saying is look past the outer appearance and look at his heart. Love him with a Godly love.

You never know, your one act of kindness can set him/her free.

 

[inthepink]

Hairlove,

The one thing I learned during my Christian walk is that God considers sin is sin no matter what it is. There are no big sins or little sins, men have a tendency to judge the worth of sins.

Don't treat the transgender person any different from anyone else. He/she is there for a reason or he/she is looking for something that is evidently higher than man. I guess what I am saying is look past the outer appearance and look at his heart. Love him with a Godly love.

You never know, your one act of kindness can set him/her free.

Keenas - Thank you for your response!! Thank you for the reminder that sin is sin. No big ones - no little ones!

 

[MrJohnsonsRib]

It's quite simple you love the person and hate the sin. I do make it known that I don't agree with their CHOSEN lifestyle. But in my opinion, its just a reason for me to pray harder for them and their "partner".

I don't oust them, or love them any less. How would I feel that God decides to love me less because of my sins? So why would I do it.

I agree wholeheartedly with you. Keenas-> are you my long lost twin? I read your posts and you sound just like me....lol! Neat-O

I'll be keeping an eye out for you.

 

[Shimmie]

Hairlove,

The one thing I learned during my Christian walk is that God considers sin is sin no matter what it is. There are no big sins or little sins, men have a tendency to judge the worth of sins.

Don't treat the transgender person any different from anyone else. He/she is there for a reason or he/she is looking for something that is evidently higher than man. I guess what I am saying is look past the outer appearance and look at his heart. Love him with a Godly love.

You never know, your one act of kindness can set him/her free.

Keenas, this is true.... But yet it is not that simple.

Lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, fornication, is sin.... however, liars can stop lying; cheaters can stop cheating, adulterers can stop committing adultery, and so on.

In turn, if we are going to equate homosexuality on the same measure as 'sin is still sin' no matter what, then one has to also turn away; repent from homosexuality... and sadly, there is a mindset not do so or to see it as such.

The problem that we have in the world today is that there is a 'spirit' of legalizing gay marriage; there is an 'endless' fevor among gay activists to not only do such, but their claim is that their relationships are no different than heterosexuals.

The dividing line for me is that, I love my family and friends who are gay.... period! But I cannot deny what God says about sin, which is to 'turn away from it'. .. repent and sin no more which means 'all', not some, but all sin.

I'm noticing something tragic with Christians, they are 'compromising'; falling under the spell of the world's mindset.

Which indeed is what Jesus said....

I find it interesting that out of All the sins.... homosexuality is the one listed as an abomination. This scares me for those who have not turned away and for those Christian and non --- who are heterosexuals who support / therefore enable it to spread/increase; to be a partaker of such.

It's truly beyond 'sin like any other sin'..... it's a spirit of destruction that has found it's way upon mankind to seek whom it may devour.

My heart cries for those who do not see or even wish to confront this; those of hardened hearts and ears who will not hear.

Yes, we love them; we love them dearly but we cannot minimize the magitude of the sin, which satan has trapped them in. It's just that serious.

Love and blessings...:Rose:

 

[momi]

Keenas, this is true.... But yet it is not that simple.

Lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, fornication, is sin.... however, liars can stop lying; cheaters can stop cheating, adulterers can stop committing adultery, and so on.

In turn, if we are going to equate homosexuality on the same measure as 'sin is still sin' no matter what, then one has to also turn away; repent from homosexuality... and sadly, there is a mindset not do so or to see it as such.

The problem that we have in the world today is that there is a 'spirit' of legalizing gay marriage; there is an 'endless' fevor among gay activists to not only do such, but their claim is that their relationships are no different than heterosexuals.

The dividing line for me is that, I love my family and friends who are gay.... period! But I cannot deny what God says about sin, which is to 'turn away from it'. .. repent and sin no more which means 'all', not some, but all sin.

I'm noticing something tragic with Christians, they are 'compromising'; falling under the spell of the world's mindset.

Which indeed is what Jesus said....

I find it interesting that out of All the sins.... homosexuality is the one listed as an abomination. This scares me for those who have not turned away and for those Christian and non --- who are heterosexuals who support / therefore enable it to spread/increase; to be a partaker of such.

It's truly beyond 'sin like any other sin'..... it's a spirit of destruction that has found it's way upon mankind to seek whom it may devour.

My heart cries for those who do not see or even wish to confront this; those of hardened hearts and ears who will not hear.

Yes, we love them; we love them dearly but we cannot minimize the magitude of the sin, which satan has trapped them in. It's just that serious.

Love and blessings...:Rose:

I cant think of a thing to add but AMEN.

 

[inthepink]

Keenas, this is true.... But yet it is not that simple.

Lying, cheating, stealing, adultery, fornication, is sin.... however, liars can stop lying; cheaters can stop cheating, adulterers can stop committing adultery, and so on.

In turn, if we are going to equate homosexuality on the same measure as 'sin is still sin' no matter what, then one has to also turn away; repent from homosexuality... and sadly, there is a mindset not do so or to see it as such.

The problem that we have in the world today is that there is a 'spirit' of legalizing gay marriage; there is an 'endless' fevor among gay activists to not only do such, but their claim is that their relationships are no different than heterosexuals.

The dividing line for me is that, I love my family and friends who are gay.... period! But I cannot deny what God says about sin, which is to 'turn away from it'. .. repent and sin no more which means 'all', not some, but all sin.

I'm noticing something tragic with Christians, they are 'compromising'; falling under the spell of the world's mindset.

Which indeed is what Jesus said....

I find it interesting that out of All the sins.... homosexuality is the one listed as an abomination. This scares me for those who have not turned away and for those Christian and non --- who are heterosexuals who support / therefore enable it to spread/increase; to be a partaker of such.

It's truly beyond 'sin like any other sin'..... it's a spirit of destruction that has found it's way upon mankind to seek whom it may devour.

My heart cries for those who do not see or even wish to confront this; those of hardened hearts and ears who will not hear.

Yes, we love them; we love them dearly but we cannot minimize the magitude of the sin, which satan has trapped them in. It's just that serious.

Love and blessings...:Rose:

Wow Shimmie - Thank you for adding to this conversation! I actually went reading on the web b/c something still didn't sit right with me and this is exactly that. Why are we so tolerant of homosexuality but if someone cheats on their spouse - we would totally call them out? If someone steals from church, they are called out.

Thank you for your explanation b/c now I get it. Yes, we are all sinners. Yes, we should all love. However, if we are sinning, we should have the mindset to "repent" and not just accept our sin.

 

[Shimmie]

I cant think of a thing to add but AMEN.

For you and your loved ones....

Wow Shimmie - Thank you for adding to this conversation! I actually went reading on the web b/c something still didn't sit right with me and this is exactly that. Why are we so tolerant of homosexuality but if someone cheats on their spouse - we would totally call them out? If someone steals from church, they are called out.

Thank you for your explanation b/c now I get it. Yes, we are all sinners. Yes, we should all love. However, if we are sinning, we should have the mindset to "repent" and not just accept our sin.

For you and your loved ones too...

As Christians, we have been once again lead to the slaughter.

I cannot number the times I've read or have been told, that as Christians we ignore the other sins, such as adultery, fornication, lying, stealing, drinking, etc., and yet we are intolerant of homosexuals. How far from God's truth this is.

As you shared above, adulterry, fornication, lying, stealing, etc. is immediately cast as unexceptable and is called out and dealt with. But the world choses not to acknowledge that we do so. It's their battle tactic to present us as non tolerant, without compassion, and biased against gays. Yet it is so untrue.

satan has his plants in the Church; they are there; and they are not yielded to the Holy Spirit, but to the spirit of this world. And they are more of a danger to the homosexual than a homosexual is to his/herself. For they are keeping the homosexual in the darkness and in the sin that they are in. Giving them the false doctrine and false hope that God accepts homosexuality that they can marry and their unions should be regarded the same as heterosexuals.

Loving someone does not keep them in bondage. We seek and desire God's best for them and nothing less. We cannot enable the enemy to pull the precious lives of homosexuals further into despair. And anyone who says they are a Christian will 'see' this and love a homosexual so much so, that they will not enable homosexuality, but disable it's grip and stronghold from upon the precious life that satan has taken control of. We're either in God's kingdom to 'minister' and set captives free or in satan's camp to destroy. There is no in between.

I don't want to see anyone be cheated of the love and the life that Jesus died to give them. And no one has a right to pacify or weaken their witness to a hurting and loving life which lives in a gay person's heart.

Gay persons, have a right to live in the fullness of God and His love for them. As Christians, we have to take a stand against the battle which has been set against them and not allow them to become swallowed up and lost forever.

It's not the individual 'homosexual' that I have issue with. These precious persons are pawns being used as satan's tactics. My heart grieves over a person who has been trapped by the enemy. It's the 'spirit' that my battle is with, not the person.

Homosexuality is 'beyond' sexual sin. It is a spirit of 'rebellion' which has been against the very nature of God; and of course the culprit is satan, himself. It is literally a destructive spirit which is out to change the order of this world. It's a spirit that wants to be worshiped; that wants to be god and allow no other to be above it.

The battle is obvious; the plot and scheme is no longer hidden. Out of the closet is passe', it's now let's take over. he's using whosoever he can deceive into his camp to keep this spirit moving against the order of God.

Christians who enable gays, are no different than those who enable adultery, fornication, cheating, lying, drunkeness..... they are more dangerous to these precious lives of gays than a loaded gun.

How long will we halt between two opinions? If God be God, serve Him.