Spinoff: Fraternizing with the Ex

[Brownshugaz]

So do any of you still keep in touch with your exes? One of my exes [from years ago] wants to go out to dinner and a movie or something tonight and I would normally be game,[free food!] but I everytime I see him he tries to get back with me and I'm so not on it. I don't encourage him, but here he is how many years later.

 

[Blossssom]

Free food, movies... no sex.

 

[Brownshugaz]

short sweet and to the point. thanks Blossssom

 

[BK Bombshell]

One of my exes is one of my closest friends. He's the person I call with my guy questions. It's great having someone in the other camp. We talk 3-4 times/week and go out to brunch every few weeks. I think the key is that both people accept that the relationship is over. And it helps if you really like each other outside of the bedroom. We still flirt, but we both know we're just playing. If he was really trying to get back with me, I don't think I would hang out with him. I have another ex I can't hang out with because of that. After a while I got tired of trying to explain why we couldn't be together.

 

[JamericanGurl]

My ex husband is my best friend! I'm actually friends with a number of ex boyfriends. I try to leave on a pleasant note. I start all my relationships out as friends and I try to end them that way as well!

 

[MissYocairis]

Keep in touch on an "acquaintance" basis. Meaning periodic telephone chats, periodic emails. Very, VERY rarely see each other in person. Maybe have lunch once every 18 months or something. If that. Don't discuss things beyond the basic. Don't go to each other for private advice unless one of us has a lot of experience in the area in question. That's it!

ETA: My ex-husband and I, we have a son and a daughter together so, we HAD to be friends. We get along well. Have long chats on the telephone and email and we share responsibilities with the children together. We'll also dine with the children together as a family. Absolutely no flirting of any sort ever goes on and we do not discuss our dating life at all with each other.

 

[Crissi]

Yea i get along with my Ex, he is a true friend, anytime i need anything i can call him and vice versa. He'll talk to me about his problems and vent and what not since im the only female he can actually talk toand trust like that. I guess thats because even throughout are relationship the friendship tended to be stronger than the bf/gf part

 

[mermaid]

Mmmm, most of my ex's can jump off the Space Needle, my kid's dad is okay usually- now that he's clean.
Funny this came up, I just got off the phone with my last long term BF; I do keep in contact with him and his mom from time to time, I'm meeting with him later today. He's pretty friendly and my current BF gets along with hime when he calls or if we run into him.
He used be a hard core bodybuilder and he chastises me about not working out like I should.

 

[SqrpioQutie]

the only one i'm still cool with is like from when i was 13 and i don't think that counts... all the rest are either bitter that i don't want to be with them, bitter about how the relationship ended or always trying to get back to me... no time for that - i only move forward...

 

[Brownshugaz]

I should prob answer my own question. With the exception of a few choice *******s, I'm actually good friends with all of my exes. My first love is one of my best friends in fact.

 

[mscounselor]

Im going through this same situation. My ex and I are cool. We speak once a month and he has asked me out to lunch or dinner. Its never worked out due to schedules. The point is my SO isn't cool with any interaction because he feels that hes only in contact with me to get back me. Some days I think so and some days I dont. It was nice to hear that some people can still be friends with their ex's including going out.

 

[*Frisky*]

My ex husband is my best friend! I'm actually friends with a number of ex boyfriends. I try to leave on a pleasant note. I start all my relationships out as friends and I try to end them that way as well!

So is mine!!! We can talk to each other about anything...we have been knowing each over 20 years almost and we have a daughter together. He is about to get married again and so I am but we are really close.

 

[firecracker]

Free food, movies... no sex.

You ain't neva lied. Add groceries, weekly stipend for listening to his bs and chaffuer services which equals a win win situation ova herre!

 

[ExoticCutie]

I am friends with my ex-husband but it took a long time before we got to that point because we didn't break up on the best of terms. I have maintained relationships with guys I have dated in the past but I leave it as friendship and nothing more. As long as they understand its not going to be anymore than that we're cool.

 

[Angelicus]

I tried and it recently and didn't work. I don't want to do that anymore. He might be keeping me back from my future husband.

 

[ivyness]

I believe ex's are ex's for a reason so until recently i never fraternised with exes. EVER. However, i have recently decided to focus on my career for the next 2-3 years since CLEARLY there is something I am doing wrong relationship wise.

Funny enough, couple of my exes (literally my first and last) got in contact within minutes of each other last week. The only two I can honestly say i loved. I wouldnt say I am fraternising with them because as i said, ex's for a reason. But the idea is not completely out of the picture

 

[luckiestdestiny]

No. I don't see a reason. I do think it's funny that this question came up. My fiance's ex girlfriend (after no contact for well over 2 years) called to congratulate him on his engagement (saw it on facebook) and asked him if he'd like to go out that evening (for what?!)...but she'd bring friends. Uhm...that's how she got his attention in the first place. She invited him to go out with a group of friends but the "friends" never showed up....

if he said yes my eyebrow would've gone up.

Don't get me wrong I think if he were "friends" with her and they kept in contact (respectfully and platonically) that would be one thing. But no contact and now all of a sudden she wants to go out and be friendly?erplexed Yeah...!!!!

 

[lesedi]

I'm not friends with any of my exes. Most of my relationships have ended because I have been disrespected and I don't entertain the idea of having 'friends' who disrespect me.
The only time I have tried to be friends with an ex it was out of pure naive desperation to keep the person in my life That is SAD.

 

[dede1129]

My ex is my best friend and I have known him for years so there is that level of comfort there and I know I can trust him and he has my best interest at heart. Also, my soon to be ex-husband is my good friend too and hopefully once the divorce is over we can maintain that for the sake of our daughter.

 

[gabulldawg]

I only have one ex and we do not communicate at all. He was/is crazy and I wouldn't trust him being a part of my life. Plus I found out that he was/is a huge scumbag that doesn't deserve my friendship or anything else for that matter.

 

[FlowerHair]

I think staying friends with your ex is the best way to end a relationship, if it's possible.
You can never have too many friends or too many good people on your side in this journey called life.