SPINNY: Would you date a man that used to be gay?

[LovelyNaps26]

Okay, so it's clear that no one would date a guy that used to be a woman given the responses people gave on the other thread (before they realized it was a joke).

Seriously, would you date a man who has informed you that ten years prior he decided to stop living as a homosexual (meaning no dating or sex) and only engage in relationships with women?

The reason he made this decision: he began therapy 14 years ago (not religious therapy) and realized that for him sexual abuse by an older male relative from the ages of 6-11 impacted his view of sexuality. He is currently 37 years old, has a good job, active in the community and has been in two serious committed relationships with women (1 year and 2.5 years) since making the decision and dates on a fairly regular basis.

** I want to emphasize that this is loosely based on someone's rationale (i.e. attributing his sexual preference during the early part of his adulthood) for choosing to only be in relationships with women. This, of course, is not true for all men or women. Just wanted to make that clear.

 

[kmn1980]

No..........

 

[*CherryPie*]

No, because I don't believe that you can just get therapy and then become "unGay".

I think, if a person is gay, he's/she's gonna be gay......no matter what he/she is pretending to be. The real person will come out in some kind of way.

 

[Gigi-07]

No.
There is no "used to be gay", you're either gay or you're not.

If he was "gay before", he's gay now.

No "spiritual awakening", "therapy", or nonsense like that will change who he really is.

 

[Ediese]

I'm of the belief that you cant 'use to be gay.'

 

[Ashleescheveux]

"used to be"?

 

[Chocolatelove2010]

Forget 'used to be' gay, I wouldn't even date a guy who used to be 'bi' .. You either always liked the Meow.. or not. I'd never get with somebody who ever liked the banana...

 

[FlawedBeauty]

lol thats like saying i used to be black...

 

[Ladybelle]

knowingly? No.

 

[ALWAYZL8]

I couldn't do it. I would be his friend...nothing more. However, I wonder how many men have become "ungay", but don't inform their girlfriends or wives of their former lifestyle. Just a thought...don't mind me...carry on!

 

[jada1111]

I dunno... there are people that are attracted to both sexes (Angelina Jolie, Madonna, and a host of other celebs and regular folks) that will be faithful once they get into a committed relationship with someone of the opposite sex.

If you would have asked me this five years ago, the answer would definitely have been NO, but... as usual time changes and you realize that life isn't all that black and white.

Sigh, I need to get out of LA. All these "live and let live" thoughts I've adopted came only after I moved to this den of sin and degredation.

For the record, I am completely STRAIGHT. Have never once desired, fantasized, or ever looked at a woman in a lustful way and I never will.

 

[Goombay_Summer]

Yes, but I'm assuming that there aren't any heterosexual men left.

 

[Lynnerie]

No way just thinking that the man I'm dating ever went the other way is just gross!

If he had any "encounter" with a man then he is gay and thats the end of it!

 

[frida1980]

Honestly, I would always doubt his "revelation." I think a lot of men go through heck to accept that their gay, and I fully support this process. I would always think in the back of my head is this the day he realizes he's really gay...

Since I could never trust him, I'd have to say no.

 

[Vinyl]

"Would you date a white man if he used to be gay?"

 

[Skyfall]

Let me just say that when you have been abused it affects your view of your sexuality, kinda like when kids get raped by an adult and then grow up and rape kids themselves. In this case I don't think he was gay at all, just thought he was because of the rape, and when he healed from the rape he realized his own feelings, but no I could not date him because the thought of me licking his schlong that has been in another man's butt (if he was a top) makes me sick..

 

[nappystorm]

Hell to the Neezy

 

[*CherryPie*]

I think ALL races applies here.

Why does color/race always pops up in innocent threads?erplexed

"Would you date a white man if he used to be gay?"

 

[LivingDol1]

no dude. there is no "used to be gay". i'd be worried he'd be a DL dude after he marries his wife for show.

was he a top?

 

[Gigi-07]

I think ALL races applies here.

Why does color/race always pops up in innocent threads?erplexed

I think Vinyl was being facetious. You know what the thread titles often are on this forum. If a thread about white men isn't started at least once a day, something has gone wrong...maybe LHCF would have to be down for maintenance for 24 hrs.

examples:

"Do you like white men? Why? and do you have self-hate issues?"

"Post your favorite white men!"

"Would you marry a white man who had 8 baby mamas?"

"Why are white men so much better than black men?"

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Yes, but I'm assuming that there aren't any heterosexual men left.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

No. No. No.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

No. I don't think a man can stop being gay. I wouldn't date a bisexual man either.

 

[honeyflaava]

No, I would not knowingly get involved with a man who has willingly and intentionally been involved in sexual activities with men. Like many posters stated, I don't believe in "used to be" gay or bi. (I really don't believe that men can be bisexual either, but that's another topic)

I don't know why, but I think that there will always be a propensity for men to return to homosexuality, regardless of the reason or circumstances that initially caused them to enter the lifestyle or the process/method by which they "left"...jmo

Aside from that, I honestly just think it's disgusting and could never take him seriously as a man. If he were a bottom, I would always look at him like he was a *****, and if he were a top, I would think of him as a sh*tty peen man who I would NEVER let touch me...

 

[lesedi]

Not going to happen. I'm not the one.

 

[Damaged but not out]

What if he had sex with a man once?

 

[Black Ambrosia]

Let me just say that when you have been abused it affects your view of your sexuality, kinda like when kids get raped by an adult and then grow up and rape kids themselves. In this case I don't think he was gay at all, just thought he was because of the rape, and when he healed from the rape he realized his own feelings, but no I could not date him because the thought of me licking his schlong that has been in another man's butt (if he was a top) makes me sick..

No, I would not knowingly get involved with a man who has willingly and intentionally been involved in sexual activities with men. Like many posters stated, I don't believe in "used to be" gay or bi. (I really don't believe that men can be bisexual either, but that's another topic)

I don't know why, but I think that there will always be a propensity for men to return to homosexuality, regardless of the reason or circumstances that initially caused them to enter the lifestyle or the process/method by which they "left"...jmo

Aside from that, I honestly just think it's disgusting and could never take him seriously as a man. If he were a bottom, I would always look at him like he was a *****, and if he were a top, I would think of him as a sh*tty peen man who I would NEVER let touch me...

Before reading these two posts I honestly thought the topper was "better" because he was still maintaining the "male" role in the sex act. Not that I'd want either dude (bottom or topper).

The short answer is no but I do acknowledge that sexual abuse can sometimes cause the abused to make different sexual choices than they might normally. For the right guy I would consider it but I'd probably dump that guy if he told me too early. I'd have to really be involved and care for him to go there. Maybe if we were friends first and then I learned about this after we started dating.... Still seems like a stretch though.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

What if he had sex with a man once?

Seems like that would be more experimentation than the result of sexual abuse.

 

[Damaged but not out]

^^^ But thats what i mean, we've all done something once that we would never repeat....but we've done it.

Does that make it less or the same as someone who was committed to doing it for a protracted period of time

 

[SweetNic_JA]

About 9 years ago I met this guy who was super cute. He seemed really nice and funny. We went on the perfect date and he kissed me on the cheek afterwards. It was unexpected but I didn't flip out. Shortly after he kissed me he told me that he used to be a stripper! My blood almost ran cold...I don't play that. No gay men, no bisexual men, no strippers and no jiggalos. You can't pour Robitussin on that and make it all right. He never heard from me again.