Spin Off: Poll - Relaxed or Natural = more male attention???

[Afrikaisi]

Oh, forget it, nevermind!

 

[miss Congeniality]

I think it comes down to two things:

1) Hair length- guys go crazy over long hair

2) Healthy hair- the thicker the better.

 

[Mai Tai]

I think men like it when its healthy, real, and well kept. I have seen women with poorly cared for natural and relaxed hair, or lots of really baaaaaaaad weave get no love from the men, or receive attention from the bottom of the barrel men.

Ultimately, men like women who invest time and effort into their appearance. They like women who like to look good regardless of if your hair is natural or relaxed.

 

[Digital Tempest]

For me, I got more attention after I went natural, and the quality of the people giving the attention was much better, too. I don't think it was just the hair that necessarily caused that. I had a whole attitude adjustment after I went natural. You couldn't tell me NOTHING when I cut down to less-than-an-inch of hair. I thought I was too cute and still do. While I was relaxed, I tended to attract a lot of "bad boy" types. I still attract them, but I attract a lot more "intellectual" types than those types now. I think they see my natural hair as a symbol of me being more "aware"--however right or wrong they might actually be about that.

 

[Ebony Majesty]

I've received much more attention since being natural
When I first BC'ed, I still got my fair share of hoodrats
Recently I've been getting more attention from people who carry themselves well

 

[Mai Tai]

I've received much more attention since being natural
When I first BC'ed, I still got my fair share of hoodrats
Recently I've been getting more attention from people who carry themselves well

WOW! Your hair looks like a wig it's so perfect! Fabulous!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I never knew people paid attention to my hair, When I went to the city 2 weeks ago, a lady Iordered food from remembered me and said my hair looks different. I was shocked when my mother in law said that she didn't recognize me anymore. I feel ordinary with my relaxed hair. When I was natural, I got more stares and whispers. My husband said he missed my fro, so I'm transitioning again. This time, though, I am long transitioning until I can put my natural hair into a pony tail.

 

[Raspberry]

It's hard for me to answer this thread clearly because my weight has fluctuated a lot between between being relaxed and natural. Seems like the way my body looks affects the amount of attention I get the most .. way more than my hair. Ladies who have looked the same (weight,style, etc) and the hair was the only thing that changed probably have the most accurate picture. At my ideal weight I get attention from all races and many types of men, regardless of hair style.

this thread is very interesting....
i never really thought about the quality of attention i am getting since i am "taken" but now that you mention it i feel its only "slightly" better when my hair is natural. its definatly more when its relaxed but it is more of the ignorant type and a little of the more suited up brothers.

You know, maybe the way male attention is received is based mostly on the type a guy a particular women wants.. When I was relaxed I got more attention from the suited up brothers too, but since the corporate guy tends not to be my thing I don't really care if they don't check for me as much now. The women who like the corporate alpha male type would feel differerntly.

Now I get more attention from guys I find interesting. I'm not into the bohemian, coffee shop dude either - there's just a certain vibe I like in a man (regardless of race) that I check for, I know it when I see it. With my locs - especially now that they're past SL, I get more attention than I did with loose hair. I'm also thinner now than I was then. The way locs frame my face just happens to look very good on me as compared to other styles.

 

[afiya27]

Men are vain. I'd say overall relaxed heads get more attention (for reasons I won't get into). HOWEVER, when you find that bouncy 4a/b, or that shiny jet black twa with bantu curls, or 3s with a fierce cut it's like .

I agree that some (most?) men tend to see themselves and/or their status reflected in their woman's looks (a la the term "trophy wife"). Hence many of them are vain in the sense that they tend to want women who most approach the current standard of beauty (whatever that might be)...And I'd agree that right now, despite the promising grassroots natural hair movement afoot in many of the major coastal cities, the mainstream image for a "beautiful" woman (white, black or any other 'race') still includes straight hair (a. la. Tyra, Beyonce, Oprah, Michelle O etc.).

BUT, there is a silver lining. Natural hair can be seen as a filter for such shallow superficial men. They simply won't approach you. Thus you won't even have to wonder if they're really into you, or just into your looks (i.e. you won't have to worry about them one day leaving you and/or cheating with another younger/prettier woman). That opens more space for REAL, more deep thinking guys with whom a quality, profound, long lasting relationship is more likely. Seems like a good deal to me! ...

The rub is, IMHO, the fact that we desperately need to increase the numbers of that second category of men. We have to start raising our sons to critique/resist that whole "male status" dynamic...After all, we women are the "hands that rock the cradle"! So on some level, the tendancy towards superficality among our men starts with us (and could end with us too)!...But I guess that would mean that we'd have to purge our OWN superficial tendancies for that to really work! LOL!

Peace.

 

[almond eyes]

I really do not think men care about whether the hair is relaxed or not just as long as the style suits the woman. I am natural and have worn my hair TWA to now big afro curls and I never was short on the attention from men of any race or ethnicity and I do not have the curly textured hair either except in some parts of my hair. I went to a party when I was in the States last year and not to diss on any of the women with relaxed hair but many of the women at the party with the relaxed hair were self-conscious with their long bone straight see through hair and the attention being placed on the women with the natural hair with the twists, buns and braidouts.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[newflowers]

I think men are attracted to clean stylish hair but the initial attraction can turn into something longer lasting and stronger when the woman wearing the hair is smart and confident and has something to offer a relationship - even if she shaves her head bald.

 

[almond eyes]

I totally agree with the issue raised by new flowers. My sister is bald by choice and she gets a ton of professional men of all races coming on to her and asking her on dates. Her last boyfriend was Russian and her head was bald when she met him.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[NYLegalNewbie]

I think guys like anything that's really striking. Long hair can be striking...so can natural hair. I've noticed that I get almost just as much attention when I wear my hair out and straight (it's between APL and BSL), and when I wear it out as a twist out.

However, when I wear a boring ol' bun, unless I'm dressed to kill, it can be like I'm invisible! LOL!

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I really don't think it Matters. I think we would all be surprised at Men's "Preferences "I don't think we can generalize their "likes/dislikes" any more than they can Generalize ours.

Just like our opinions change about Men. At least mine does. Sometimes I find Men attractive with Locks/Twist, a 'Fro, (a played out Fade) Bald and/or a Pony Tail. It just depends on how I'm feeling that day, and whatever else "His Overall Package Contains"i.e. Nice Smile, Slammin' Body, a little Stocky, Well Dressed, Facial Hair or None. Sometimes, he may be totally Non-Descript, but just Overall A Real Nice Guy. And that Makes Him Super Attractive.

A Variety of Men appeal to me, as I am sure A Variety of Women Appeal to them.

 

[Raspberry]

I really don't think it Matters. I think we would all be surprised at Men's "Preferences "I don't think we can generalize their "likes/dislikes" any more than they can Generalize ours.

Just like our opinions change about Men. At least mine does. Sometimes I find Men attractive with Locks/Twist, a 'Fro, (a played out Fade) Bald and/or a Pony Tail. It just depends on how I'm feeling that day, and whatever else "His Overall Package Contains"i.e. Nice Smile, Slammin' Body, a little Stocky, Well Dressed, Facial Hair or None. Sometimes, he may be totally Non-Descript, but just Overall A Real Nice Guy. And that Makes Him Super Attractive.

A Variety of Men appeal to me, as I am sure A Variety of Women Appeal to them.

You definitely have a point, there are a lot of factors that go into attraction. I guess I tend to think as most men being more simple minded and easily manipulated when it comes to looks... yea that's probably not fair or wrong or somethin

 

[La Colocha]

Since being natural i have gotten more attention from males that have locs and males who are more "afrocentric". It even seems like more wm have been attracted to me lately and i have no idea why. Maybe because i am loving myself more and accepting me for me and i guess it shows.

 

[MonPetite]

100% increase from men of all races and tax brackets...save Black men. Unless they remember the 60s on up.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I don't think it matters. I have not noticed a difference. Although, I can not say for sure because the last time I was relaxed on a consistent basis, I was in high school. But being natural, I have had my share of unwanted/wanted attention.

 

[Truth]

I've got more attention being natural.. When I was relaxed.. I didn't get much attention at all, infact only real attention I got was from chicks asking if it was mine

 

[Denise11]

I don't think it matters at all, as long as you and your head is looking good. I was natural when I was in my twenties, but I've been relaxed for many years now. I've ALWAYS gotten attention from all kinds of men, of different races, regardless of my hair texture.

As long as you look pretty you're gonna get attention.

 

[Denise11]

I can agree with you on most of this. Except one point you made is not true. Natural hair is not a filter for no good men. Men that like natural hair can be just as doggish as men who like relaxed hair. Cheaters come in all forms, races, and packages. Don't be fooled. He may love your natural hair, but love another womans body.

I agree that some (most?) men tend to see themselves and/or their status reflected in their woman's looks (a la the term "trophy wife"). Hence many of them are vain in the sense that they tend to want women who most approach the current standard of beauty (whatever that might be)...And I'd agree that right now, despite the promising grassroots natural hair movement afoot in many of the major coastal cities, the mainstream image for a "beautiful" woman (white, black or any other 'race') still includes straight hair (a. la. Tyra, Beyonce, Oprah, Michelle O etc.).

BUT, there is a silver lining. Natural hair can be seen as a filter for such shallow superficial men. They simply won't approach you. Thus you won't even have to wonder if they're really into you, or just into your looks (i.e. you won't have to worry about them one day leaving you and/or cheating with another younger/prettier woman). That opens more space for REAL, more deep thinking guys with whom a quality, profound, long lasting relationship is more likely. Seems like a good deal to me! ...

The rub is, IMHO, the fact that we desperately need to increase the numbers of that second category of men. We have to start raising our sons to critique/resist that whole "male status" dynamic...After all, we women are the "hands that rock the cradle"! So on some level, the tendancy towards superficality among our men starts with us (and could end with us too)!...But I guess that would mean that we'd have to purge our OWN superficial tendancies for that to really work! LOL!

Peace.

 

[loolalooh]

I still get attention from hoody hoodrats ... unfortunately.