Spin Off: Poll - Relaxed or Natural = more male attention???

Quality and Quantity of attention...

  • Decrease in Attention

    Votes: 14 15.9%

  • Decrease in Attention, Increase in Quality

    Votes: 16 18.2%

  • Increase in Attention

    Votes: 23 26.1%

  • Increase in Attention, Increase in Quality =)

    Votes: 35 39.8%
  • Total voters
    88
ajargon02 said:
You hit it right on the head. One can be a beautiful ice queen, rude little thing w/ beautiful long straight hair, just as a natural w/ a fierce do can be. I believe overall it's how you carry yourself. Men like to see kindness, self confidence, wrapped up in a sexy package, that's not rude. I think for most it doesn't matter what kind of hair you have in general, as long as the total package is right, jmho :D
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Sooo true!!! Confidence is sexy... I was a little worried about how I would be received when I first did the BC, but the more I got used to my hair and realized that I looked d*mn good! :lol: the more attention I got. I met the guy I'm currently dating after the BC and he thinks my hair is cute and loves playing with it...
 
i think relaxed hair get more attention than some natural hair. if it's curly and pretty (like Mona's hair from Half and Half) then i think it's equal.
 
The first time I bc'd I felt invisible. The second time I bc'd (in March) I initially not only felt invisible but also unattractive. Now I'm close to 7 months natural (I know that's not a long time but it's a long to me lol) and I have a little length but it is not really long at all, but not a twa anymore either. I've gotten more comfortable with my hair, it's almost like I had to grow into it or something. Many days now I forget I'm natural, I'm just Hopeful.

Natural or relaxed, long or short, I am attractive, I am friendly, people say I have a nice smile and with my short kinky hair men are taking a double-take, sometimes I am almost startled at how men look at me some days. Today a very handsome hispanic man came up to me in the grocery store, he was like I'm sorry I'm not trying to flirt with you or come on to you but you are hella sexy. Yes, I said thank you. Yesterday a handsome young black man (young to me lol) looked at me with such admiration, such a warm smile. My sweet husband looks at me the same way. Let's just say I no longer feel invisible.

I think men like pretty, sexy, happy, confident, well-groomed women, period.
 
I voted decrease in attention and increase in quality...but I think that another one that should have been up there is decrease in attention from who. Cause, I've definitely had more men of other races trying to holla.
 
honestly, i haven't noticed anything... lol i'll have a lot of looks and stares from men but in general (as another poster said)

BUT, I did notice:

*That a lot of younger girls (15 and younger) have started to treat me nicer and have a warm smile on their face when they see me- its kind of an "inspiring" look that they give me....

*I've noticed that the same ladies who would have been ignorant (mind you this spans ALL RACES...) to me before just for HAVING long hair, now don't treat me as if i'm "competition" but as if i'm BENEATH them

*I've noticed that a wealth of the conversations that i've been having with ladies have been about my hair and that (and i quote) "YOU SHOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING THAT I'M NOT MEANT TO HAVE IF I CAN'T HAVE IT" oh and the ever popular "BLACK WOMEN LOOK BETTER WITH SHORT HAIR- WHY DON'T YOU CUT MORE OFF *my hair was only 5 inches at the time mind you*"

*I've noticed that the same ladies who would've treated me like i was nothing when i had really long hair (pretty much waist-length 3C) they now treat me even more like i'm nothing but "prettier" somehow....(prettier because you don't feel i'm competition anymore or prettier because you really think so? :mad:)

*I've noticed that the wealth of women who tried to get with my SO previously are still there but now are FLOCKING to him because (and i quote) "HOW COULD SOMEONE THAT LOOKS AS GOOD AS HIM ACTUALLY BE WITH THAT- SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ANY HAIR (mind you i have 6-7 inches now ..lol)"... these women seem to think that i don't actually deserve my SO because I DON'T have long flowing hair down my back like, say, they do....

*My SO doesn't seem as attracted to me as he was before and actually treats me slightly different but tries, for the most part, to overlook it and pretend he's not as shallow as he really is

*not to hijack the thread, but thought it would interesting to post some of my observations, to further the discussion;)!
 
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IMO, in this order:
1) Long hair in any state
2) Relaxed/pressed hair
3) Natural/coily/kinky hair

I say this because too often people associate being natural with having a strong or overbearing personality and being the fist pumping "Power to the people, let's empower the black woman" type. I've observed this first hand on days when I'll wear my hair curly and get all kinds of weird questions about being into neo-soul, doing poetry, or being anti-straight hair. None of these things are necessarily true, but for some reason, they carry this connotation sometimes in our society.

Relaxing is seen as conformity to some degree sometimes so that would make those women seem more approachable.

The ladies of LHCF know all of these things not to be true, but these are just my observations from watching outsiders respond to my hair and that of other women of color.
 
meia said:
honestly, i haven't noticed anything... lol i'll have a lot of looks and stares from men but in general (as another poster said)



*My SO doesn't seem as attracted to me as he was before and actually treats me slightly different but tries, for the most part, to overlook it and pretend he's not as shallow as he really is

I'm sorry meia:nono: :spank: . I know people are obviously first attracted to looks, but its still not a nice feeling. Hope you sort things out
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Click to expand...
 
@ Meia, I'm sorry too that your SO is treating you differently. When I first went natural my husband seemed a little uncomfortable but he still seemed every bit as attracted to me though. Now he actually seems to love my natural hair, I hope your SO comes around and stops being silly.
 
Divine Inspiration said:
IMO, in this order:
1) Long hair in any state
2) Relaxed/pressed hair
3) Natural/coily/kinky hair

I say this because too often people associate being natural with having a strong or overbearing personality and being the fist pumping "Power to the people, let's empower the black woman" type. I've observed this first hand on days when I'll wear my hair curly and get all kinds of weird questions about being into neo-soul, doing poetry, or being anti-straight hair. None of these things are necessarily true, but for some reason, they carry this connotation sometimes in our society.

Relaxing is seen as conformity to some degree sometimes so that would make those women seem more approachable.

The ladies of LHCF know all of these things not to be true, but these are just my observations from watching outsiders respond to my hair and that of other women of color.
Click to expand...



EVERYTHING you said is so true. It's like being natural is not a hair style but it's life style.
 
dkbeauti said:
Since I BC'd back in August, I get even more attention.
Not to say that I'm cute or anything, but this short cut is working in my favor; rocking my kinky/coily TWA shows off my facial features!

I have men approaching me, complimenting me, smiling at me.
Very polite, ya know?
Asking me, "Excuse me, can I talk to you for a minute?" (No, I'm seeing somebody:p ).

I'm not a young girl, but I'm in college (I'm in my 30's).
So the men on campus that speak to me now are like, "How you doin' today, sista?" or " Peace, queen, how you doin' today?"

It wasn't like that before.
When I was wearing my wigs, weaves, and ponytails, guys were allways trying to "holla".:lol: I don't have guys coming at me that way so much anymore.

And the type of males that repond to me have changed.
They are more like the "gentlemen" type.
Even the types that usually "holla" at women ( "Ay, yo shorty, come 'mere, let me holla atchoo for a minute".......), now speak to me with much more respect.


dk
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ITA I'm also in my 30's
I get guys of all races that speak to me with much more respect

I have a retail store in a multicultural hood.When the teens hit the door their street attitude changes they aren't cussing or acting like I've seen them act in the neighborhood at other stores.They come in my store and act straight.They say they like my fro' :lol: they make their purchases and use manners.If you saw them in another setting you wouldn't think that they were the same kids.
I have some black,asian,hispanic and white business owners that are frequent customers. They put my flyers up in their stores and talk to me about other business opportunities.They also give me tips and connections without me having to press them for info.
I never got that when I wore weaves or had a relaxer.It was like pulling teeth to find out what I needed to know when it came to handling my business.
 
dimpalz said:
This is a spinoff rom the long/shot hair male attention thread. I've been natural from since June and I've noticed I get about he same amount of attention it's just more "refined" :look: (no more hoody hoodrats, more suited and booted darkskinned goodness)

Obviously individual men have a preference but on the whole have you noticed a drop or increase in the amount of attention or even the quality???
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I do not think there's a preference that men have as a whole. In reality, men really do not care what your hair looks like.
A woman can get more male attention with relaxed hair.
A woman can get more male attention with natural hair.
Plus, how much attention you get depends on if you know the male or not and whether or not that male has seen you relaxed before or natural before.
For example, I have gotten more attention from men I know (family & friends) as a natural than when I was relaxed.
I have gotten the same amount of attention from other men I do not know as a natural or who have never seen me relaxed.
 
aquarian1252004 said:
In my experience, I don't think it makes much of a difference either way as long as it looks good.
Click to expand...

I agree. Last night at happy hour, there was a girl with a 4b, medium-sized fro. She had healthy hair and skin. She was wearing some 3.5 inch heels and a cute mini (not slutty looking). Dudes was watching HER. There were some long haired beauties in there, but the girl with the fro was the most put together. I think it's about the total package.
 
Since going natural I am always (from what I remember) approached respectfully. I do get more attention in general. I can't go to the club w/o men and women wanting to grope my hair.
 
I'm late, I know. but I agree with posters who said long (or thick) healthy hair in general is the *ish in this society, doesn't matter the texture as long as its healthy, groomed and big or long. "I think on some baser level it comes across as a sign of health", as my uncle likes to say.

One evening, this woman walked in laughing at this restaurant/lounge I frequent in Harlem (Heck, it could've been one of you:D ), and she had a caramel complexion and good features. but it was her hair. big dark copper 3c/4a natural curls. It wasn't long, but it was BIG, like a halo emphasizing her face. every head turned to watch her. Maaaan, for the rest of the night I fought the temptation to turn around and take a picture (and I woulda posted that bad boy, face blurred of course :lol: )

add to that the confident laugh when she walked in, and she made quite an impression. :yep:
 
with relaxed 'dos or box braids, i got more attention from the uptight AA, Latino, Mid Eastern, Indian, Asian etc. men.

with natural hair, esp the locs or twist outs - more boho/artsy/creative types from all groups mostly EA and AAmixies.

definitely less attention on the whole w/natch but more notice from the type of men i like. the interesting men simply didn't seem to notice me with the straight hair!! it's like i was wearing a disguise.

it's insane since i was the same person, only slicked down, but maybe my vibes were off or something.:lol:
 
I get more attention natural because I'm more confident. Since seeing me natural when guys see me with my hair pressed out or w/a weave they ask "what happened?" "when are you going to do your hair back the way it was?" "I like the other hairstyle better." I personally think I look better w/textured hair vs. straight not too mention men take me seriously and approach me more respectfully. The type of brother I attracted was more mature once I went natural.
 
I am definitely getting more attention and the quality of men I am meeting is getting better.
When I decided to go natural I didn't transition, I just cut my hair down to about 1/4 inch. This is when, I got the most attention! Black men, White men, Latino men all thought my look was so sexy and that I exuded confidence. :)
 
I think it depends on if YOU are comfortably with your hair. I have also seen alot of 4 a/b naturals that would make any man drop to their knees.JMO
 
I haven't noticed any difference. I still get a lot of male attention and guys that I have known for years have even started looking at me differently now that I'm natural. For the most part men love the fro and always wanna stick their grubby hands in it. The type of attention I get hasn't changed either. It runs the gamut from juvenile and crass to mature and respectful. I think it really just depends on how you carry yourself and if your hair ties into your overall style/vibe.

I also think men like natural hair regardless of the texture. I think it really has to do with length. The bigger the hair, the more attention it gets.
 
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