Sooo, I'm meeting his family :)

Glib Gurl

Glib Gurl

Well-Known Member
Next weekend, I am going to brunch with Dutch Chocolate's family - his two sisters, their husbands, and the two nieces. (Both of his parents are deceased :() I'm thinking that it might be a nice gesture to bring gifts for the nieces - they are 6 and 9. Any suggestions for something small, yet appropriate?

BTW, I don't think he told them I'm black :look: I told him numerous times that he has to tell them in advance, but I don't think he sees it as a big deal. So, I'm justpreparing myself for the Guess Who's Coming to Dinner wide-eyes, mouths that open and then immediately clam shut. :lol: I'm not too worried, though. I can charm the pants off of just about anyone so we shall see.

So yeah, any ideas for gifts for the girls?
 
Isn't he biracial, as are his sisters (but light skinned?)

Why would they have a problem with you being black if one of their parents were black/ partially black?
 
Nail polish my little cousins love when I come over they know I have some in my purse. Target has a 1 dollar isle with little trinkets.
 
I don't know what his ethnicity is, but if he likes you enough to bring you home, he should be prepared to handle any awkward situations.

I say bring something cute and age related for the girls. Sticker kits or things like that are cool. Go to Toys R'us and see what's popular, but don't spend more than $15 altogether. More importantly, bring a bottle of wine, nice bread from a bakery or sparkling cider (in case they don't drink) to the older family. Whole Foods or Publix should have something nice like that, to bring them. I always take something when I go over ppls homes or meet ppl. The smallest thing can mean so much! Good luck!
 
song_of_serenity said:
Isn't he biracial, as are his sisters (but light skinned?)

Why would they have a problem with you being black if one of their parents were black/ partially black?
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yokoyokogirl said:
I don't know what his ethnicity is, but if he likes you enough to bring you home, he should be prepared to handle any awkward situations.
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He's white and Jewish :lol:



yokoyokogirl said:
I say bring something cute and age related for the girls. Sticker kits or things like that are cool. Go to Toys R'us and see what's popular, but don't spend more than $15 altogether. More importantly, bring a bottle of wine, nice bread from a bakery or sparkling cider (in case they don't drink) to the older family. Whole Foods or Publix should have something nice like that, to bring them. I always take something when I go over ppls homes or meet ppl. The smallest thing can mean so much! Good luck!
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Actually it's at a restaurant . . . so I think it would be weird to bring something for the adults . . . for the girls, it's just a gesture.
 
Hasn't he dated black women before? If that's the case, I guarantee they probably expect you to be black. I understand the butterflies, though. I think a hair accessory for the girls would be cute.
 
Okay so a group of my yt girlfriends say it's too early to bring gifts and that I'm going overboard - "It's not like you're the stepmom trying to get in good with the kids." Hrm . . . but I don't know how I feel about showing up emptyhanded - even though we are eating at a restaurant.

(Oh and for those who have asked, yes, he's dated interracially before but I don't think that he's introduced his family to a whole lot of women in the past. For all I know I may be the second . . . or first!)
 
Leave the gifts at the store.

He should tell them you're black.

I have been a little bit speachless when my cousins bring non-black friends to my home. I would have like for them to have told me.
 
dlewis said:
Leave the gifts at the store.

He should tell them you're black.

I have been a little bit speachless when my cousins bring non-black friends to my home. I would have like for them to have told me.
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I agree, especially about the gifts. :yep:
 
kinchen said:
Nail polish my little cousins love when I come over they know I have some in my purse. Target has a 1 dollar isle with little trinkets.
Click to expand...

I'm gonna have to say no on the nail polish though. Some moms get salty about that kind of thing.
 
Gifts? What for?

He hasn't told them a pertinent detail and I surely wouldn't spend money on anyone until I know what's up.
 
i also think it's too early to bring gifts. they aren't his children. and even still...

yep, he should totally tell his family that you're black. let him deal with the awkwardness. he's bringing you into the situation. let him handle it...
 
I also think he should tell them you're black. In a perfect world, they shouldn't have to "prepare" themselves for that fact but unfortunately, they may need to.

Good luck with everything :yep:
 
Don't bring any type of gifts whatsoever. It's too soon for all of that and you're not trying to buy brownie points from his siblings or their children. Just go and be yourself. Now if the siblings later invite you to their home for dinner, then buy a dessert... but I'd save the gift giving for Hannukah. :look:

Also, are you the first black woman he's dated? If you aren't then him not telling his family your race may not be an issue. Especially if he's already done this in the past.
 
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Gifts? Dont do it. Id save that for special occasions. Plus you dont know a thing about the little girls and they might not be into hello kitty or all that sparkly mess. I know I wasnt :lol: I was obsessed with outerspace and planets a s a child and so if you didnt know that about me, buying a gift that had nothing to do with that was a waste of time.

Just show up and be yourself.
 
Thanks ladies. I have told him emphatically multiple times that he NEEDS to tell them I'm black . . . but I don't think he's done it. Because he is colorblind, he seems to think everyone else is (or should be) too. :rolleyes: I decided a few weeks into dating that I was not going to "educate" him about black people . . . he will learn once I pop out some cocoa-vanilla swirl babies and he gets strange looks when he takes them out without me. :giggle:
 
Glib Gurl said:
Thanks ladies. I have told him emphatically multiple times that he NEEDS to tell them I'm black . . . but I don't think he's done it. Because he is colorblind, he seems to think everyone else is (or should be) too. :rolleyes: I decided a few weeks into dating that I was not going to "educate" him about black people . . . he will learn once I pop out some cocoa-vanilla swirl babies and he gets strange looks when he takes them out without me. :giggle:
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if he doesnt feel the need to tell them then he knows his family is color blind too. its all good. have fun!!!
 
You sound a lot like me when I first started dating DH. All I knew is his family was Italian and I have seen the God Father.:rolleyes::lachen: It turns out that everything went beautifully on his side of the family as well as mine. His grandparents didn't approve, but he said he was marrying me, not them.:yep: We've been married for 10 happy years. Meeting the family is the first serious step. Have fun and be yourself!
 
If you really feel like you should buy something for the girls, I would get them little diaries or age appropriate books. It won't look like you put a lot of effort into it but would be a nice gesture.
 
Aww, how exciting.

I am torn on the gifts, but really leaning towards no gifts. Maybe on the 2nd or 3rd visit. Yeah, no gifts on the first visit. Get to know them, and them you. Don't be too nervous and enjoy yourself.

Love how you call him 'Dutch Chocolate'.:giggle:
 
I don't think you should buy anthing for the girls at this point. It would seem a bit overboard. Once you meet the girls the next time you visit, get them something.
 
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