Meeting his family....

[Princess Cherish]

I wore slacks and a nice shirt and sweater (it was cold so I didn't want to wear a skirt). We met up him parents and grandmother at his grandmother's house (btw she's a preacher...). His mom and dad were very nice to me. BTW I brought the ladies flowers... When we arrived at the beacon his aunt decided to join us, so it was me, his mother, father, grandmother, and aunt... They sent him an email the next day telling him how they thought I was pretty, very nice, and they think I would fit in well with them....

Awww that's reallynice.Glad to hear it went well.

 

[CarLiTa]

Another Haitian young lady from a conservative family going to meet the mother and siblings of an AA young man.

I am nervous. His mother seems like a true social butterfly, and I am more the reserved type.

We are going to one of the siblings' recital.

Any advice on what to wear? Is something like this not a good idea? coupled with a little cardigan and something on my feet (which i have yet to figure out)

Or should I go with something else entirely. I want to look feminine! but not over the top.
I have a nice vibrant blue skirt with a simple sleeveless white top that looks great with a black and gold belt, but even when I have it on, I feel like I am trying
I don't want to look unlike myself.


Do I have to say "pleased" to meet you rather than "nice to meet you. i've heard so much about you!" see i'm already thinking a lot about this?

I also need to figure out what to call the woman, as she is divorced.

Please share more advice!

 

[Miamori]

Another Haitian young lady from a conservative family going to meet the mother and siblings of an AA young man.

I am nervous. His mother seems like a true social butterfly, and I am more the reserved type.

We are going to one of the siblings' recital.

Any advice on what to wear? Is something like this not a good idea? coupled with a little cardigan and something on my feet (which i have yet to figure out)

Or should I go with something else entirely. I want to look feminine! but not over the top.
I have a nice vibrant blue skirt with a simple sleeveless white top that looks great with a black and gold belt, but even when I have it on, I feel like I am trying
I don't want to look unlike myself.


Do I have to say "pleased" to meet you rather than "nice to meet you. i've heard so much about you!" see i'm already thinking a lot about this?

I also need to figure out what to call the woman, as she is divorced.

Please share more advice!

I would call her Ms., but I was raised to distinguish distinctly with things like that (military father and anal mother).

What area of the country is his fam from? That can also help you decide what might feel appropriate. I will address anyone and everyone as ma'am and sir at all times too unless I am told not to, but for just about everyone I know except the elderly (whether they're from/in New England, or in Baltimore), they assume I am making fun of them or that I'm from a conservative family further south. I nevertheless come off as polite and sweet though, so you could take that route. It does help me make a good impression, and my current SO's mother told me I must have been "raised well."

I think we're around the same age, and I've met 3 sets of parents (and siblings) at this point, and if you're articulate, polite, and look pretty but not over the top (or rough) I think it will be fine. I think there would be nothing wrong with that dress.

I don't think it matters what you say to greet her. As long as your are pleasant, it should be fine. I'm sure she went through the same meet-and-greet scenarios years ago and since she'd divorced, perhaps even recently.

It will also help you feel more relaxed in the future, so you don't feel like you have to uphold some type of exaggerated persona.

 

[CarLiTa]

Thanks Miamori

it's funny, i was just coming back to the thread to say that the dress I posted was a fail i don't think it's feminine enough, unless i wear heels, which I don't really want to do, since this is just a recital.

maybe something a little more vibrant. I want to be remembered
I tend to be polite, but polite to the point of being shy and too reserved. This woman is a social butterfly, and I'd be awkward next to her

I think I'd like to go for something flowy, but still casual enough for a recital.

Is it a bad idea to wear jeans to meet parents?
It's my first time, as you can see.

 

[Miamori]

Thanks Miamori

it's funny, i was just coming back to the thread to say that the dress I posted was a fail i don't think it's feminine enough, unless i wear heels, which I don't really want to do, since this is just a recital.

maybe something a little more vibrant. I want to be remembered
I tend to be polite, but polite to the point of being shy and too reserved. This woman is a social butterfly, and I'd be awkward next to her

I think I'd like to go for something flowy, but still casual enough for a recital.

Is it a bad idea to wear jeans to meet parents?
It's my first time, as you can see.

It's not bad to wear jeans, unless you are going to a 5-star restaurant or as opposed to a recital, the opera or maybe a symphony hall or something. As long as you don't look like you're hanging out with girlfriends at the movies or something (unless you make sure you're on point for that) I think it is fine to wear jeans. I've done it and still been beloved, at least from what I know.

White can be striking when done well. It's personally one of my faves because people don't often wear all or mostly white.

Wear what you like though, and make sure you feel comfortable and believe you look nice. I think you will have fun.

Unless his mother is abnormally scary and he's forewarned you, don't be so nervous.

 

[Country gal]

Carlita- I like the dress as long as you don't boob spillage.

Glad, OP it worked really well/

 

[CarLiTa]

Thanks ladies
Country Gal, I am a boob-endowed girl, so that is a concern. I find that the dress doesn't let boobage show, luckily. I am considering wearing something else, which looks put together and a bit trendy, but more conservative as well (there will be now chest area showing at all).

We'll see.
She seems like a very sweet and fun person. I just get nervous in some situations and hope that won't happen too much.

 

[CarLiTa]

hm. we are going early...
not tomorrow, but tonight! last minute changes.
uh, i've got on a long black strapless summer dress (not tight but form fitting) with a vibrant green cardigan, little black flats, hair looking very sleek.
accessories: gold necklace and earrings that i wear everyday, and this zebra print (black and white + gold) bracelet.

Bag: Kenneth Cole, black leather.

shoes: black flats.

oh lawd. i'm nervous. but off i go!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

hm. we are going early...
not tomorrow, but tonight! last minute changes.
uh, i've got on a long black strapless summer dress (not tight but form fitting) with a vibrant green cardigan, little black flats, hair looking very sleek.
accessories: gold necklace and earrings that i wear everyday, and this zebra print (black and white + gold) bracelet.

Bag: Kenneth Cole, black leather.

shoes: black flats.

oh lawd. i'm nervous. but off i go!

How did it go???? I'm giddy with anticipation

 

[CarLiTa]

aww thanks JNSQ

The mother is extremely sweet and my assumptions were correct. She's a true social butterfly. She gave me a hug and a kiss, gave up her daughter's room so I could sleep there, made sure I was comfortable.

What I wish though, is that she and I had more time to chat and get to know each other. She didn't ask me a lot of questions, we just mostly chitchatted all together about the death of MJ. They were watching his videos basically all weekend! Even the young kids (9-10yrs old) were so into it. There was an event for the little girl on Sunday morning, so the mother was frantic, running around getting ready for stuff.

I offered to help, and she seemed so happy that I did. Also, when she came back form church, I was making breakfast for me and her son hope I scored brownie points for that (he wanted to cook it, but I wanted to make it how I like it). She was like that looks yummy! I asked if she wanted me to make her one (omelet) she said she had to head out to get some stuff for dinner later, but thanks, etc.

She gave me some slippers, which I thought was sweet. I'm back home and wearing them now actually
I went to the daughter's event with them on Sunday, but I had to leave early b/c I needed to head back home (out of town). She seemed disappointed that I couldn't stay for dinner... I was disappointed too

I later asked him what she thought of me... he told me that she said that I seem really sweet but that I am extremely quiet I knew this would happen.

I'm very reserved around people I meet for the first time. I was hoping she'd ask me questions about myself but she didn't really (I think it's because he told her that I'm kind of shy and she didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable. Thanks, buddy!)
I didn't want to impose myself on her though by starting to chat about myself. She knows a good deal about me already, but I would have liked to chat with her myself!

If I had had my laptop at the time, you bet I would have been on LHCF saturday night asking for help to figure that out

This was my first time meeting a guy's parents, so.. yeah. I'm glad I got to meet her. I hope I hang out with the family again in the near future. I want to show her that I do talk!