Sometimes it seems that a lot are anti

[blackbarbie]

I certainly don't want to add fuel to this fire, but allow me to share my observations.

In my experience as a student stylist, it seemed as though the ladies who would benefit most from a trim were least likely to agree to one. I would never push the issue. If they said no trim, then no trim it was and we kept it moving. Now, the reason I would suggest a trim was because the ends were very see-through, tangly and broken off. My purpose was not to achieve a blunt look, but merely to remove the damage, and never all at once. I would recommend gradually cutting off the damage over the course of a month or two, taking off no more than 1/2 inch at a time. Some customers would fearfully allow it, later admitting that the small trim amount really made a positive difference.

The damaged ends make for a difficult roller set, and often do not allow the hair to be styled properly. One customer's ends actually felt like steel wool. She was a regular customer of mine, but she NEVER allowed or requested a trim, and it was obvious she was not trimming it at home, even though she later told me she was a licensed, non-practicing cosmetologist.

Conversely, I had a customer who came in JUST for a haircut. She explained that she could no longer comb through it without the comb catching on the ends, and she wanted the style re-shaped. Mind you, her hair and style looked very nice when she walked in the door. Her ends looked smooth and even, and comb-through really was not a problem. I took off about 1/3 of an inch at first, but she requested that I take off even more. And yes, she is a black woman with shoulder length hair. In all, I cut off about 3/4 inch and she left very happy. She tipped me $5 on an $8 cut, so I was happy too.

I say all this to say that I agree with the O.P. I don't believe that the issue is one that is overly important to her, but that she was merely making an observation and perhaps pointing out something that some women may have never realized -- that there are women out there who are holding on to damaged ends just because the ends are long, and never realizing that the length does not look good because they are damaged. It's all about healthy, vibrant looking hair, no matter the length.

I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. About 7 years ago, I ran into a stylist that I had gone to in college. We were at a party for her and another lady and all the ladies in the party had healthy hair - long, short, very long, you name it. I told her I was going to start coming back to her weekly. The first thing she did was to look at my hair and tell me she needed to get my hair back in shape. Mind you, my hair was quite a few inches past bra strap. She said I had split ends throughout in different places, or rather, it had thinned out in some places because I had had split ends(in the past I guess) and they eventually broke and although a person couldn't really tell unless they picked up the pieces of hair and looked closely, it would benefit me to get them taken care of. She said the texture of my hair made it easy to camouflage. I didn't have see through ends, but my hair wasn't as full as it should have been. She said about 3 inches, but she would cut it in stages if I wanted her to. I told her no problem and I just told her to do what needed to be done.

I ended up letting her cut it all the way up to my chin - yes ABOVE my shoulders (it didn't need all of that, but I was ready for a change anyway and couldn't wait). Although my hair was still fine (in texture), it grew back to me to what seemed like "thicker". It wasn't necessarily "thicker", it was just just it was growing all the same length in all places all around (because some pieces weren't long, some weren't short, etc.) and you could grab a hand full of hair in your hand and know that you have ALL the strands in your hand.

So, although I am anti-trim when it doesn't need it, I know the importance of one. (btw, with weekly care, my hair was back past bra-strap in a year and a half!)

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Well I can certainly say that I am a PROUD anti-trimmer. I still think that people overrate this 'split-end' thing. it's like with all the knowledge that we have...we still fear the split end and we feel the duty to cut it before it 'splits up the shaft' or multiply. I mean come on now.... And another reason why i don't trim often is that for every single trim that i've had by a stylist...I've always hated it. I hated that straight across look..it makes me feel like a librarian. I much prefer the natural layered look. i feel it looks sexy.. my hair may not be razor straight but it is by far not scraggly. And I also am growing weary of the folks that are dying to have long hair but yet they still feed into this trim your hair often stuff. Or one day they have dry ends and they feel the need to hack 3 inches off instead of babying them for a few weeks. And then they jump on board of every miracle product just to gain back the inches that they've cut. hI just don't get it...do u want long hair or not??? okay i'm really getting off topic here... sorry!

 

[balisi]

Well I can certainly say that I am a PROUD anti-trimmer. I still think that people overrate this 'split-end' thing. it's like with all the knowledge that we have...we still fear the split end and we feel the duty to cut it before it 'splits up the shaft' or multiply. I mean come on now.... And another reason why i don't trim often is that for every single trim that i've had by a stylist...I've always hated it. I hated that straight across look..it makes me feel like a librarian. I much prefer the natural layered look. i feel it looks sexy.. my hair may not be razor straight but it is by far not scraggly. And I also am growing weary of the folks that are dying to have long hair but yet they still feed into this trim your hair often stuff. Or one day they have dry ends and they feel the need to hack 3 inches off instead of babying them for a few weeks. And then they jump on board of every miracle product just to gain back the inches that they've cut. hI just don't get it...do u want long hair or not??? okay i'm really getting off topic here... sorry!

In response to the bolded text: there are ways to trim hair that do not result in a "straight across look." It needn't be a blunt trim all the time.

 

[blackbarbie]

In response to the bolded text: there are ways to trim hair that do not result in a "straight across look." It needn't be a blunt trim all the time.

Seems that the stylist is "cutting" to achieve that look as opposed to "trimming" the ends that need to be trimmed. Proper trimming involves picking up section by section and trimming each section for split ends. That's the thing I don't understand about some stylists anyway; if your hair grows in a "U" or "V" shaped, how is it that every time you go to the salon and they tell you you need a trim and you end up with a blunt cut? The likelihood that all the ends around that "V" or "U" needed to be cut off is very very low.

 

[Southernbella.]

CandyC

Sorry to hijack, but... CandyC, I changed my siggy this morning and then came here and saw yours. I just wanted you to know I wasn't biting . Great minds think alike, I guess. Great progress, BTW!

 

[JewelleNY]

My two cents: I think what some people are trying to say here is that the decision to trim or not is theirs and there is some power in that. I'm sure that the people you see walking around with "see through ends" are quite aware of what their ends look like. They have made the decision not to cut, good or bad, it is their decision to make. Just like, if I want to sit out in the sun in the summer and fry just to have a golden, brown tan that is my choice! If I want to wear spiky heals that cut into my feet and cause varicose veins than good for me! They are my feet and I can do it!
I hope this helps to answer your question!

 

[msniq]

I certainly don't want to add fuel to this fire, but allow me to share my observations.

In my experience as a student stylist, it seemed as though the ladies who would benefit most from a trim were least likely to agree to one. I would never push the issue. If they said no trim, then no trim it was and we kept it moving. Now, the reason I would suggest a trim was because the ends were very see-through, tangly and broken off. My purpose was not to achieve a blunt look, but merely to remove the damage, and never all at once. I would recommend gradually cutting off the damage over the course of a month or two, taking off no more than 1/2 inch at a time. Some customers would fearfully allow it, later admitting that the small trim amount really made a positive difference.

The damaged ends make for a difficult roller set, and often do not allow the hair to be styled properly. One customer's ends actually felt like steel wool. She was a regular customer of mine, but she NEVER allowed or requested a trim, and it was obvious she was not trimming it at home, even though she later told me she was a licensed, non-practicing cosmetologist.

Conversely, I had a customer who came in JUST for a haircut. She explained that she could no longer comb through it without the comb catching on the ends, and she wanted the style re-shaped. Mind you, her hair and style looked very nice when she walked in the door. Her ends looked smooth and even, and comb-through really was not a problem. I took off about 1/3 of an inch at first, but she requested that I take off even more. And yes, she is a black woman with shoulder length hair. In all, I cut off about 3/4 inch and she left very happy. She tipped me $5 on an $8 cut, so I was happy too.

I say all this to say that I agree with the O.P. I don't believe that the issue is one that is overly important to her, but that she was merely making an observation and perhaps pointing out something that some women may have never realized -- that there are women out there who are holding on to damaged ends just because the ends are long, and never realizing that the length does not look good because they are damaged. It's all about healthy, vibrant looking hair, no matter the length. Long hair at any cost is not the answer.

Thank you thank you thank you. you got my point.

 

[msniq]

Re: CandyC

Sorry to hijack, but... CandyC, I changed my siggy this morning and then came here and saw yours. I just wanted you to know I wasn't biting . Great minds think alike, I guess. Great progress, BTW!

you have beautiful hair

 

[lala]

Thank you!!! A long haired woman, with what appears to be really healthy hair who is not anti trim.

May I ask this? Are you the only one in your family with long hair? Did your mom or grandmothers (both sides) have long hair?

My response may get lost in the numerous responses, but my maternal grandmother is not AA and had knee length hair. My Mom and her 6 sisters have all had waist-length or longer hair...

 

[Sistaslick]

dang what happened to my last post? Oh well, it was offtopic, but I was just agreeing on how nice lauren's hair is So luscious man! And CandyC, your updates are nice girlie!

 

[msniq]

My response may get lost in the numerous responses, but my maternal grandmother is not AA and had knee length hair. My Mom and her 6 sisters have all had waist-length or longer hair...

ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color.


It does not matter if your post gets lost. a lot of people will read it and still not believe what i am saying. thanks.

 

[lala]

ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color.
quote]

I asked my Mom about this and she and I are no experts, but in my family we all have long, thick hair (from aunts to cousins). So it appears as if genetics has contributed to this. My hair has been cut several times to above shoulder length and I've achieved my current length at least 4x in my life. For me, getting regular trims has never resulted in me not being able to retain a longer length. My hairdresser just trims my hair and she does not ask me how much to cut, I just let her do her thing...

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Hi balisi! Yes i totally agree that trimming should not equal a blunt cut but every stylist i've been to...it always does. does this mean that they do it the easy/fast way? they don't care about retaining my length? Or they aren't skilled in cutting in a style other than blunt? heck if i know. anyways, i had one more point to make for the anti-trimmers... Another excellent reason why i don't trim as much now is because I seldomly wear my hair straight. I usually caruso it so nobody can tell if my ends are straight or not. Also...wouldn't it make sense to reach your goal first, even if it did mean reaching your goal not in the best state. and THEN spend the next 8months gradually cutting so that your hair would be LONG AND in the BEST state. ??? I guess i am taking that approach to growing my hair brastrap...i've tried it the other way....trimming to look pretty and proper every 8weeks and it just doesn t grow. so now i am growing to brastrap (with a dust here n there), may not be perfectly even and perfectly pretty or thick when i get there....but after i get to brastrap, then give me 8 months and i will continue to self-trim often until i get the perfect thick even look. Just something to think about...

 

[sylver2]

ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair.
Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color.,

so all my hard work is for nothing

 

[LizLeila]

Wow, you guys really fell for the okie-doke with this one.

I think you are right.

 

[goldensensation]

ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color.


It does not matter if your post gets lost. a lot of people will read it and still not believe what i am saying. thanks.

From reading your first post in the thread, I had no idea that this was the question that you are asking. For the record, I believe that genetics is a factor but so are non genetic conditions like family eating and grooming habits.

 

[lala]

so all my hard work is for nothing

Not hardly...your hard work has definitely paid off --- you are stunning, and I'm sure I'm not the 1st person who's said it...

 

[HermioneWeasley]

trim.
it seems that a lot of people do not want to get the trim. why is that? you soo need trims. it makes the hair look healthy and it aids in styling. you have to do less to the hair when it is cut well. stop fighting the scissor. what is the goal? healthy hair or long scragly hair?

I'm not sure I agree with the idea that trims aid in styling. I know that when my hair was layered, fresh trims made my hair very "finicky" and flyaway.

I don't think I'm anti-trim as much as I am a "trim when needed" girl. Part of the journey to healthy hair is knowing your hair and what it needs. Many of us who are relaxed, texlaxed, texturized or whathaveyou know when our hair needs touching up. Many of us know when our hair could use a good deep conditioner. Likewise, many of us can sense when we need a trim. I don't believe that trimming should be on some sort of set schedule unless hair is very damaged.

I think that most people on this board want healthy hair, and scraggly ends aren't cute. I really haven't seen those "in need of trim" members you speak of, to tell the truth.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

so all my hard work is for nothing

Apparently so. Your hair didn't get the genetic memo that it shouldn't be that long.

 

[msniq]

long is relative. long to some may be shoulder length, to others bra strap or waist.
you are not going to grow more hair than you are genetically predisposed to UNLESS there is some kind of pharmacutical intervention. and even then it is only going to grow so much.

think about it, why doesn't everyone have hair to their knees, waist, bra stap? why do some people no matter what they do their hair only gets to a certain length? what? they just need to use some magic horse product and that will give them the length they desire?

ok if i would have said that no matter how much lemon juice you put in your hair it will never change to blond. would that have been more understandable? the fact is that no matter what you do with the exception of drugs ones hair is only going to grow so far.

go ask your dermatologist. genetics dictates make up. unless there is a genetic flaw or abnormality you are getting what is already provided by family genes. that is a fact. did you know that?

 

[HairPhoenix]

long is relative. long to some may be shoulder length, to others bra strap or waist.
you are not going to grow more hair than you are genetically predisposed to UNLESS there is some kind of pharmacutical intervention. and even then it is only going to grow so much.

think about it, why doesn't everyone have hair to their knees, waist, bra stap? why do some people no matter what they do their hair only gets to a certain length? what? they just need to use some magic horse product and that will give them the length they desire?

ok if i would have said that no matter how much lemon juice you put in your hair it will never change to blond. would that have been more understandable? the fact is that no matter what you do with the exception of drugs ones hair is only going to grow so far.

go ask your dermatologist. genetics dictates make up. unless there is a genetic flaw or abnormality you are getting what is already provided by family genes. that is a fact. did you know that?

So basically when a person's hair reaches their genetically determined length, then a message is sent to the hair follicles to stop all growth and the cells that make up hair are no longer produced. Then when you cut it another message is relayed to the hair follicles to turn the cell production back on. Wow! I never knew that.

A lot of people don't know what their true genetic length is until they take the time to nurture their hair. I have known people whose parents had short hair, yet when they put their hair in dreds it grew past their butts. We don't know unless we try. Have you seen Nay's album? She said that for years her hair stayed at one length and she thought it would not get any longer, until she started nurturing it.

So what's with all the discouragement?

 

[keke]

Exactly. If it was a case of DNA then most of us, no matter how well we take care of our hair, would not reach long hair a looong time ago. Genetically, if it was true then the hair would stop growing at a certain age.
Now i do believe DNA plays a part in how FAST your hair can grow. Now if people really mean that then yes that is true. what takessome people a year to get to would take me 2-3 or so.

 

[Caramela]

I am not "anti-trim". However, I don't believe in getting trims every 6-8 weeks just for the sake of doing it. In this amount of time your ends haven't accumulated enough damage or splits to warrant losing 1/2 - 1 inch all over. Personally I dust my splits as I see them, and get trims once or twice a year. But everyone has to do what works for them. If you are using a lot of heat (like curling irons) and your ends have a lot of damage, you may very well need to trim every 6-8, but the LHCF women, generally speaking, don't use curling irons on a day to day basis.

 

[Victorian]

The hair on your head IS genetically regulated just like the rest of the hair on your body (that's why your eyebrows don't grow to be a foot long). You hair never stops growing (provided the follicles are healthy), but the growth and shedding phases reach an EQUILIBRIUM, and THAT'S why the hair will reach a certain length and not get longer. It takes years to get to that point if you start from scratch, though. What genetics determines is how long your phases are, how fast your hair can grow during the growing phase, how much of your hair is in a phase at any given time, etc.

Some people can't get past a certain, relatively "short" length because they have reached an unnatural equilibrium, involving how they handle their hair, the products they use, chemical processes, nutrition, environmental factors, and a million other things. It can be hard to pinpoint what is the cause of such a stall, which is why I think some people just give up and figure that their hair wasn't meant to be past neck length or whatever.

 

[HairPhoenix]

The hair on your head IS genetically regulated just like the rest of the hair on your body (that's why your eyebrows don't grow to be a foot long). You hair never stops growing (provided the follicles are healthy), but the growth and shedding phases reach an EQUILIBRIUM, and THAT'S why the hair will reach a certain length and not get longer. It takes years to get to that point if you start from scratch, though. What genetics determines is how long your phases are, how fast your hair can grow during the growing phase, how much of your hair is in a phase at any given time, etc.

Some people can't get past a certain, relatively "short" length because they have reached an unnatural equilibrium, involving how they handle their hair, the products they use, chemical processes, nutrition, environmental factors, and a million other things. It can be hard to pinpoint what is the cause of such a stall, which is why I think some people just give up and figure that their hair wasn't meant to be past neck length or whatever.

ITA, but a lot of people especially black women do not know what that equilibrium level is for them. It does take more nurturing to find out and they will not find out unless they try. I look at my grandmother who has had hair just past her shoulders all her life and she doesn't do much to it. Her mother, on the other hand, had hair so long that when she died they had to wrap it around her body to get all of it in her casket. We don't know how long our hair will get unless we try a little extra TLC.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

First I would like to say that this thread was a set up, LOL, you start by asking one question as a camafloge for what you "really" want to say. I read all the post and I don't understand how you go from asking about anti-trimmers to: "ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color."
Maybe you really wanted to tell all the anti-trimmers that they will never have the length of the hair they want whether they trim or not, and/or whether they use the "think about it, why doesn't everyone have hair to their knees, waist, bra stap? why do some people no matter what they do their hair only gets to a certain length? what? they just need to use some magic horse product and that will give them the length they desire?" I think you have some personel issues toward certain ways that pple on the board like to take care of there hair, and tried to come at them sideways, the bottom line is that it is their hair and however they choose to care for it or whatever lengths they choose to get to their goals it's their choice. Now as far as genetics the hair does have a certain amount of time that it will grow b4 it is replaced w/new strands. But the way that a person cares for their hair can prevent them from ever seeing their true length, so if that means being anti-trim for awhile or using certain products/regimens, poo more often, only Cond. washing, using "the magic horse product" (as you put it), more protein or moisture, and/or even just changing their diet and taking vitamins to get to the length that they are capable of achieving than why not? Why shouldn't pple do what it is that they "Need" to do inorder to get to where they want to be? I just don't see what's wrong w/that, as another poster said it's their hair. Am I anti-trim?, No, trimming for me is on an as needed basis.

 

[msniq]

So basically when a person's hair reaches their genetically determined length, then a message is sent to the hair follicles to stop all growth and the cells that make up hair are no longer produced. Then when you cut it another message is relayed to the hair follicles to turn the cell production back on. Wow! I never knew that.

A lot of people don't know what their true genetic length is until they take the time to nurture their hair. I have known people whose parents had short hair, yet when they put their hair in dreds it grew past their butts. We don't know unless we try. Have you seen Nay's album? She said that for years her hair stayed at one length and she thought it would not get any longer, until she started nurturing it.

So what's with all the discouragement?

not discouraging at all. being realistic that is all. not everyone can or ever will be able to have long hair. i am not saying stop trying at all who knows their potential until they try.

 

[msniq]

First I would like to say that this thread was a set up, LOL, you start by asking one question as a camafloge for what you "really" want to say. I read all the post and I don't understand how you go from asking about anti-trimmers to: "ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color."
Maybe you really wanted to tell all the anti-trimmers that they will never have the length of the hair they want whether they trim or not, and/or whether they use the "think about it, why doesn't everyone have hair to their knees, waist, bra stap? why do some people no matter what they do their hair only gets to a certain length? what? they just need to use some magic horse product and that will give them the length they desire?" I think you have some personel issues toward certain ways that pple on the board like to take care of there hair, and tried to come at them sideways, the bottom line is that it is their hair and however they choose to care for it or whatever lengths they choose to get to their goals it's their choice. Now as far as genetics the hair does have a certain amount of time that it will grow b4 it is replaced w/new strands. But the way that a person cares for their hair can prevent them from ever seeing their true length, so if that means being anti-trim for awhile or using certain products/regimens, poo more often, only Cond. washing, using "the magic horse product" (as you put it), more protein or moisture, and/or even just changing their diet and taking vitamins to get to the length that they are capable of achieving than why not? Why shouldn't pple do what it is that they "Need" to do inorder to get to where they want to be? I just don't see what's wrong w/that, as another poster said it's their hair. Am I anti-trim?, No, trimming for me is on an as needed basis.

I jsut read the first sentence of your post and that was enough for me. you do not know me nor do i know you. for you to ASSume that i was setting up anyone is absurd. futher more if you want to know why i even asked the question i have no problem telling you. but don't assume you know and what my motives were. please go and check all of my posts and see if i ever started a thread for the sake of a fight.

you are nuts to think that my goal or motive was to start a fight. i do not need that kind of attention. you however felt it was necessary to psycho analyze a font on a hair board. now who is reaching or trying to start something. your issue is that you are taking things personal instead of just reading the question. call me out when i name a name! don't do this foolishness.

because my opinion is not popular does not mean that i am trying to start anything. it is pathetic to make that statement.
ignore me then if you think i am trying to start something. there are many WOMEN here that can read and not take it personal.

 

[HairPhoenix]

First I would like to say that this thread was a set up, LOL, you start by asking one question as a camafloge for what you "really" want to say. I read all the post and I don't understand how you go from asking about anti-trimmers to: "ok so GENETICALLY you are predisposed to have long hair. That was just what I wanted to know. I think people need to realized that no matter how much you do to your hair it may NEVER be as long as you want. Long hair is genetically determined like eye, skin and hair color."
Maybe you really wanted to tell all the anti-trimmers that they will never have the length of the hair they want whether they trim or not, and/or whether they use the "think about it, why doesn't everyone have hair to their knees, waist, bra stap? why do some people no matter what they do their hair only gets to a certain length? what? they just need to use some magic horse product and that will give them the length they desire?" I think you have some personel issues toward certain ways that pple on the board like to take care of there hair, and tried to come at them sideways, the bottom line is that it is their hair and however they choose to care for it or whatever lengths they choose to get to their goals it's their choice. Now as far as genetics the hair does have a certain amount of time that it will grow b4 it is replaced w/new strands. But the way that a person cares for their hair can prevent them from ever seeing their true length, so if that means being anti-trim for awhile or using certain products/regimens, poo more often, only Cond. washing, using "the magic horse product" (as you put it), more protein or moisture, and/or even just changing their diet and taking vitamins to get to the length that they are capable of achieving than why not? Why shouldn't pple do what it is that they "Need" to do inorder to get to where they want to be? I just don't see what's wrong w/that, as another poster said it's their hair. Am I anti-trim?, No, trimming for me is on an as needed basis.

Cheers!

Uh-oh, BeautifulWideEyes, you must be taking this personally.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I didn't take it personel since I'm not anti-trim how did it affect me? nor am I psycho, and didn't analyze anything, what I did was read the post when it first started and chose not to answer because it didn't apply to me, but I also felt by the way you asked the ? that it was going to blow up, lol, I only responded now because the two post I quoted in my last post, I don't understand how you ask one ? and then say later that another answer that had nothing to do w/your original post answered you ? If you wanted to know if genetics make up the amount of growth a person will achieve no matter what they do, then you should have asked that. I think you are just on the defense of every response, because like I said you know what you really wanted to ask. If that wasn't the case, then why are so hyped over others opinions........and as far as knowing you, I don't care if I did, I'm just being "HONEST" about what "I" thought. Even though my thoughts may not matter to you or anyone else, who cares in the end it's my opinion.

I jsut read the first sentence of your post and that was enough for me. you do not know me nor do i know you. for you to ASSume that i was setting up anyone is absurd. futher more if you want to know why i even asked the question i have no problem telling you. but don't assume you know and what my motives were. please go and check all of my posts and see if i ever started a thread for the sake of a fight.

you are nuts to think that my goal or motive was to start a fight. i do not need that kind of attention. you however felt it was necessary to psycho analyze a font on a hair board. now who is reaching or trying to start something. your issue is that you are taking things personal instead of just reading the question. call me out when i name a name! don't do this foolishness.

because my opinion is not popular does not mean that i am trying to start anything. it is pathetic to make that statement.
ignore me then if you think i am trying to start something. there are many WOMEN here that can read and not take it personal.