Some people just can't keep their mouth shut

[sunshyne_krissy]

Yall know I have decided to go all natural right? Well I'm struggling with my patients in transitioning with braids and my homegurl was like you know you gonna look so unattractive to your fiance with nappy hair .. i was like excuse me? she was saying those with nappy hair naturally look unatractive b/c their har looks dirty and unkempt and they just have a "thing" that makes um look like a hobo (?!) ... yada yada yada...you know the typical response. She suggested that I flat iron it every chance I get when I get to my desired length...(waist lgth). And she was dead serious about it!!!!
I think she is just jealous... She really has no reason to be jealous because she keeps and likes her hair cut short and cute and it looks healthy but for some reason she can't get off this nappy hair thing. I am having a difficult time with temptation to go back to relaxing or texturizing my hair after I transition for 4 years. (Im thinking that far ahead lol) I look at all of these cool new ways to rollerset and blowout my hair with a relaxer or texturizer and I don't see anything that interests me for those who have natural hair. I DESIRE deeply to go natural but I don't know. I need to stop whining and be patient to see what my natural hair will turn out to be like... The grass is always gonna seem greener on the other side, right? I guess I just need some encouragement, please help!

 

[DDTexlaxed]

She sounds uneducated. It just irks me when people say things like that. How does she know about natural hair? Is she even natural? I just had someone say something like that to me. I just told them that natural hair is the same as relaxed hair. It depends on the person who takes care of their hair. It just so happens that her relaxed hair is to' up. I looked at her like- who are u to be talking down to me! Don't let anyone stop u in your hair journey. If u let her win, you will not like yourself or your hair. I will be rooting for you. If she tries to hate on you, just tell her to respect your choice. If she is a true friend then she will help you rise and not tear you down. YOU CAN DO IT!

 

[*ElleB]

She's ignorant!

Only an ignorant person would say that!

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

Thanks you guys for being such great encouragers...I told her str8 up that we can't chill anymore cuz she has always done stuff like that. Put me down when I have a goal and am striving hard for it. she was like that when i decided to go off to college 4 years ago...It hurts to loose a friend but it would hurt worse to gear my decisions based on what her opinions are. Words are so powerful.

 

[hopeful]

Wow, she's not a very good friend, is she? Sounds like you put her in her place though, good for you. I'll just wish you look with your transition. I love natural hair, when it is healthy it can be so dense, lush, soft, coily, pure perfection. LOL your poor friend, she just doesn't know what she is missing.

 

[jackie1277]

sunshine,

Good for you for standing up for yourself! It's so sad when black people are the ones to say the worst thing about our OWN hair. It's called self-hate and ignorance. I know it's hard to get rid of friends you've had for a long time, I've had to do the same thing and look at the people in my life and decide what they are adding to my life. If they are not adding anything, they need to go.

As long as YOU are happy with your hair that's the only thing that matters and I'm sure your fiance loves you for more than just your hair!!

 

[GirlywithCurlies]

sunshine,

It's so sad when black people are the ones to say the worst thing about our OWN hair. It's called self-hate and ignorance.

Jackie1277 you are on point with this statement! I remember when I was natural the people who loved my hair the most were white/non-black! They raved over how beautiful and unique it was...whereas most (not all though) black folks looked at me like I was a traitor or just crazy. I even had a hair stylist ask me (all serious-like, as if I were a Special-Ed case, "Girl, why don't you have a perm?!!?" . Internalized racism is just as dangerous as race prejudice and IMO, the last "frontier" we as a people need to eradicate.


Sunshine, if you have a goal for your hair, don't let anyone keep you from it. I'm sure that you will fall in love with your natural hair.

 

[ThickHair]

Just remember the greener grass has a higher water bill.

 

[nefertitiblack]

It's very sad when ignorant people have a loud opinion. She is only testifying to her limited beliefs. Don't let her discourage you and keep toward your goal. You won't regret it.

 

[SexySin985]

Hey, what kind of friend would say that?

You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. I say you drop that friend like a bad habit (that was a throwback saying ). You don't need her... you have us! We're your support system. Your one of us now and she's an outsider. And you know the outsiders NEVER get it. Nobody understands us....thats why we have to stick together

 

[sunshyne_krissy]

Yall are so sweet! I feel a lot better now and I will NOT cave in to the temptation to relax or texturize my hair once I've reached waist length. It's so hard to be patient sometimes!
I don't have any remorse getting rid of her as a friend. I do miss her for other things but I know me and my hair are better for us going seperate ways. Yall are all the friends I need!

 

[nurseN98]

Thanks you guys for being such great encouragers...I told her str8 up that we can't chill anymore cuz she has always done stuff like that. Put me down when I have a goal and am striving hard for it. she was like that when i decided to go off to college 4 years ago...It hurts to loose a friend but it would hurt worse to gear my decisions based on what her opinions are. Words are so powerful.

Good for you! You ain't got to hear any nonsense from anybody who isn't supporting you.

 

[Mahalialee4]

Nurse98 which island are you from? If you are from Jamaica, what do they call the Cactus (Rachet< plant )there? Have you ever used it? bonjour

 

[tropicexotic]

I'm jamaican, my mom called a cactus like plant that they used on hair "plimpa" and I'm not sure of the correct spelling. When she looked at my Jamaican Mango & Lime Leave-in she said that they use the cactus plant that people use in their hair...but I didn't see plimpa (sp?) in the ingredients.

 

[nurseN98]

Nurse98 which island are you from? If you are from Jamaica, what do they call the Cactus (Rachet< plant )there? Have you ever used it? bonjour

Hey Mahalialee4, I'm of Haitian descent not Jamaican. I've seen this type of plant and asked my mom about it but she didn't know of any use for it. Sorry I couldn't be more help