So Your Hair Got Jacked Up!..Is It Really The Stylists Fault Or YOUR Fault??

[MizzBrown]

Hair Stylists please chime in!

So your hair gets jacked up in the salon. Is it the stylists fault that she didn't ask you questions and did a horrific job or is it YOUR fault that you neglected to speak up during the entire appointment, not telling her your goals or hair concerns, thus the stylist not giving satisfactory results.

This is a pet peeve of mine lately on the board.

If you know better, then you'd do better and since being a member for almost a year, i now know that I must speak up in the chair if i don't want 2 inches chopped of my hair or the wrong relaxer or too much heat, etc.

A lot of us still come on the board complaining about their hair, posting setback pictures and post about what went down in the salon yet they said NOTHING for the entire 2-3 hrs, paid AND tipped and then go home crying that it was HER fault.

So ladies, when do you think its YOUR fault that your hair is in the state it is after leaving a salon??

 

[MizAvalon]

I think it depends. Sometimes the stylist has already jacked you up before you know what hit you.

But then, it's your responsibility to address your concerns and wants before the appointment begins, to do your due diligence before choosing the stylist, etc.

So yeah, I guess the majority of the fault lies with the patron.

 

[gymfreak336]

Most of the time.....Its our fault.

You can speak up and leave the salon if you have too. Most of the time we don't say anything and even after the stylists has proved to us that she doesn't and won't listen to what we have to say.....we stay anyway or we go back.

Also, we need to do more research before going to someone. Balisi posted a thread about things you need to look for before you go to someone and I think we all should be more careful with where we go.

You also need to be more specific with what you ask for. When trimming, A little bit to me could be a whole lot to you and vice versa. Show people what you want. Be specific and speak with authority on when asking for what you want and if they don't want to listen, take your money elsewhere.

 

[Kirei]

Depends...

Some clients don't know how certain styles are acheived so while it may look strange in the beginning they may wait it out to see how it turns out.

EX: When I first got my hair wrapped (when I was relaxed) I didn't know you used rollers, I was like what's she doing....I thought I was going to look like a grandma. But, when she was done it was a nice wrap.

Also some examples of updos and stuff, I mean you wouldn't believe all the work it takes to do some hairstyles and they don't look nice until you put the finishing touch on them, usually last 15 mins. of the style.

So, I think it lays with the beautician, if you look at the pic and say you know how to do it then it needs to look like the pic when your finished.

I don't go to salon's anymore but, when I did, I did not ask them 50-11 questions, that was their job and I expected them to know how to do it. I don't go to a mechanic and ask him 50-11 questions about how he fixed my car, that's his job and I let him do it. Now, it they don't do it right then we have a problem of course.

If you knew how to do everything and were so knowledgable, why go to the salon? Do it yourself...KWIM?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

Depends...

Some clients don't know how certain styles are acheived so while it may look strange in the beginning they may wait it out to see how it turns out.

EX: When I first got my hair wrapped (when I was relaxed) I didn't know you used rollers, I was like what's she doing....I thought I was going to look like a grandma. But, when she was done it was a nice wrap.

Also some examples of updos and stuff, I mean you wouldn't believe all the work it takes to do some hairstyles and they don't look nice until you put the finishing touch on them, usually last 15 mins. of the style.

So, I think it lays with the beautician, if you look at the pic and say you know how to do it then it needs to look like the pic when your finished.

I don't go to salon's anymore but, when I did, I did not ask them 50-11 questions, that was their job and I expected them to know how to do it. I don't go to a mechanic and ask him 50-11 questions about how he fixed my car, that's his job and I let him do it. Now, it they don't do it right then we have a problem of course.

If you knew how to do everything and were so knowledgable, why go to the salon? Do it yourself...KWIM?

Agreed.

The blame for the jacked up hair in each situation depends on what exactly happens in the salon. If you show the person what you want, explain it and bring photos, ask all the right questions, they claim to know how to do it & have done the style in the past, they were a referral and not some random stylist and they still jack you up then it's the stylist's fault.

If you get a cut and not a trim (meaning inches gone) and not know it then that's your fault. Happened to my friend a few months before her wedding and she didn't notice, her fiancé saw her missing about 3 inches when she got home. When anyone picks up scissors and gets near my head, I am watching carefully and I have a mirror in my hand to make sure it's a trim. I got a CUT years ago that was to be a trim and I never made that mistake again....and never used that stylist again.

Using the wrong kind of relaxer or using relaxer instead of conditioner (old post) is the stylist fault. Some things the stylist should just know.

I never had heat damage and admittedly never paid attention to the flat iron setting at the salon so that could be both the stylist and client's fault since hair singes at higher temps. and both client and stylist can smell burning hair.

 

[Covergirl5906]

I think it really depends....some things are the clients fault for not doing enough homework b4 getting in a stylist's chair... then sitting there, letting certain things happen and not speaking up..
On the other hand you can do your homework, a stylist can be highly recommended, you interview them and feel comfortable and things still go wrong. I agree with the poster that said that they mess you up sometimes b4 you even realize...

 

[Kirei]

I think even with damage and stuff it can still be the stylist. If I went to the salon and the stylist was like, "you don't need a protectant, you justt washed your hair and its clean so it won't burn." I would believe them.

I didn't automatically expect them to be lying, I would trust them our else I wouldn't be sitting in their chair.

But, that was before I was educated thus, the reason for going to a stylist in the first place. Now, I am not ignorant and can take care of my own hair and don't need them.

My point is, most people go to stylist b/c they can't take care of their own hair so they entrust that care to a professional. If that person doesn't do their job right then it is their fault not the customer's.

 

[Covergirl5906]

Using the wrong kind of relaxer or using relaxer instead of conditioner (old post) is the stylist fault. Some things the stylist should just know.

yes...same thing happened to me ....highly recommended stylist underprocessed my hair...could have been bad application technique or could have been old expired relaxer....who knows what they really put in those bowls when they disappear to the back of the salon...certain things are out of the clients control...

 

[TrendySocialite]

I agree it depends, however there are plenty of instances where it's the client's fault.

If your hairstylist does a style and you then spend the next week, 2 weeks or month blow frying and flat ironing it, then when you go back and your hair is dry, brittle and breaking...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If your hairstylist does something and you don't understand or you don't like it but you say NOTHING....THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you chair hop (based on unqualified referrals or just looking for the cheapest place) and your hair texture suffers...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you perform some type of chemical process and jack it up and then expect a stylist to fix it....THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you do nothing to take care of or protect your hair between appointments, and your hair doesn't grow or you don't retain length...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you don't share with your stylist your hair goals and your expectations for the services and your experience is less than positive...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

Sorry if this is blunt, but I think it's easy to shift blame and project frustration. I ask plenty of questions regarding services I receive, even from a mechanic. If I don't understand or it sounds strange, I ask. I question doctors, teachers, and pretty much any service provider. If I'm paying you, I have the right to understand what you are doing to me or my property.

 

[20Pearls_Girl]

Overall - It depends.

In my case...it was 100% the stylist's fault.

 

[Candela.]

I agree it depends, however there are plenty of instances where it's the client's fault.

If your hairstylist does a style and you then spend the next week, 2 weeks or month blow frying and flat ironing it, then when you go back and your hair is dry, brittle and breaking...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If your hairstylist does something and you don't understand or you don't like it but you say NOTHING....THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you chair hop (based on unqualified referrals or just looking for the cheapest place) and your hair texture suffers...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you perform some type of chemical process and jack it up and then expect a stylist to fix it....THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you do nothing to take care of or protect your hair between appointments, and your hair doesn't grow or you don't retain length...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

If you don't share with your stylist your hair goals and your expectations for the services and your experience is less than positive...THAT'S YOUR FAULT

Sorry if this is blunt, but I think it's easy to shift blame and project frustration. I ask plenty of questions regarding services I receive, even from a mechanic. If I don't understand or it sounds strange, I ask. I question doctors, teachers, and pretty much any service provider. If I'm paying you, I have the right to understand what you are doing to me or my property.

I completely agree with this. More often than not, it's the clients fault because sometimes they are afraid to speak up and tell the stylist exactly what they want. When I go to the salon and get a trim I tell my stylist (I go to the same one everytime because shes the only one i trust to cut/trim my hair) how much I want her to take off and she does it! It's all about communication

 

[RegaLady]

I have been blessed not to have much of a mess up from a stylist. Except when the shampoo gal left my relaxer on tooo long, and after my hair was done, it was breaking into a million pieces. But, when a person knows that the stylist is doing wrong to their hair, and they won't speak up, then it becomes the client's fault.IMO

 

[fluffylocks]

I feel like both. I think when your hair gets messed up sometimes, its a battle between what you know/want with your hair, and between stylists..In individaul cases yours that you didnt say anything when you saw your hair getting messed up if it happened that way.

But on a bigger scale, for the "hair field"/hair stylists... (ETA, SOME, not all)
I think they are so used to most clients not knowing anything about healthy hair or anything about hair that alot of them do what they think is best or are very pushy about what they want and dismisive to clients ideas.
And i think its made it so that alot of times if you dont have that perfect stylist for you, you either go and surrender your hair to them, or have to really really make sure and hope they dont do something you've asked not to happen--or just learn how to do your hair yourself.

I think its hard for someone like an LHCF'er who knows alot about hair and what they want to get/fit into the stylists thing.

 

[Gracie]

Depends. It's not always the stylist fault and it is not always the client's fault.

It's the client's fault if they don't do their homework, express what they want at the beginning or stop the stylist when they feel discomfort.

It's the stylist fault if they make mistakes, lie about skillset, or don't listen to their customer.

I do think that there has to be a certain level of trust and generally speaking people want to trust that their stylist is a skilled professional and won't screw them over.

 

[TrendySocialite]

Depends. It's not always the stylist fault and it is not always the client's fault.

It's the client's fault if they don't do their homework, express what they want at the beginning or stop the stylist when they feel discomfort.

It's the stylist fault if they make mistakes, lie about skillset, or don't listen to their customer.

I do think that there has to be a certain level of trust and generally speaking people want to trust that their stylist is a skilled professional and won't screw them over.

That's why I feel like you can't chair hop...can't establish that kind of relationship if you're at a different stylist every month or so

 

[Gracie]

That's why I feel like you can't chair hop...can't establish that kind of relationship if you're at a different stylist every month or so

I totally agree!! I don't understand the chair hopping thing

 

[HoneyA]

I would say that it depends on the situation. If you sit there and say nothing, not check to see what is going on with your own hair throughout the entire styling process, not check to see how much is snipped off at the end and you end up with overprocessed hair or your progress cut off, then it is your fault! If you told the stylist from the beginning exactly how you expect your hair to be styled, during the process you are vigilant with the time and you say how much you want cut off and the stylist still does his/her own thing, then it is clearly the stylist's fault and you should speak up say something about it and never go back. Forget the tip. What are you tipping for? Your instructions were not followed. I've been going to my stylist for 20 years and I am very vigilant. She shows me how much she is going to snip off, I verify it's good or I say no too much. If I think that I've been sitting for too long with the chemical in, I say "isn't it time for me to be washed yet?". I always wear a watch so I time as well. In the end it is MY HAIR.

 

[nodisrespect]

idk because i can make it clear that i dont want any trims or what kinds of product to use, but how would i know if she was using too much heat? if my scalp isnt burning or smoking it could still be too much and i wouldnt know

 

[DDTexlaxed]

That's why I'm dedicating my time and effort to become a DIY woman. I've been jacked up for the last time. Um, BTW, how many stylist besides Balisi that we have on the board?

 

[TrendySocialite]

idk because i can make it clear that i dont want any trims or what kinds of product to use, but how would i know if she was using too much heat? if my scalp isnt burning or smoking it could still be too much and i wouldnt know

smoke around your head, sizzling sounds. That's why it's good to pre-poo and coat your hair so that it minimizes heat damage. If you know your hair can't take much heat, then I think it's important for you to say that. If the stylist doesn't respect that, then you need to not allow that person to use heat on your hair...get a rollerset and bounce, never to return again.

 

[TrendySocialite]

I would say that it depends on the situation. If you sit there and say nothing, not check to see what is going on with your own hair throughout the entire styling process, not check to see how much is snipped off at the end and you end up with overprocessed hair or your progress cut off, then it is your fault! If you told the stylist from the beginning exactly how you expect your hair to be styled, during the process you are vigilant with the time and you say how much you want cut off and the stylist still does his/her own thing, then it is clearly the stylist's fault and you should speak up say something about it and never go back. Forget the tip. What are you tipping for? Your instructions were not followed. I've been going to my stylist for 20 years and I am very vigilant. She shows me how much she is going to snip off, I verify it's good or I say no too much. If I think that I've been sitting for too long with the chemical in, I say "isn't it time for me to be washed yet?". I always wear a watch so I time as well. In the end it is MY HAIR.

I agree. However I think you should not let anyone you don't know or trust perform major services on your hair. I heard people getting a stylist that they've gone to cut their hair on their first visit...that's insanity to me. But to each his/her own...

 

[mj11051]

The last time I went to a beautician it was my fault. i had gone ot her while relaxed, I told I was gonna get my hair braided after she trimed it. However we got to talking and when I looked she had given me a twa. But to add insult to injury my hair was so messed up I had to go to a barber the next day and get it fixed. i haven't been to a salon since and I do my own trims. I blame my self because I should have been paying more attention, howwever I thought we were cool enough that she wouldn't screw me like that. Never again.

 

[nodisrespect]

smoke around your head, sizzling sounds. That's why it's good to pre-poo and coat your hair so that it minimizes heat damage. If you know your hair can't take much heat, then I think it's important for you to say that. If the stylist doesn't respect that, then you need to not allow that person to use heat on your hair...get a rollerset and bounce, never to return again.

i know but what im saying is, even if its not smoking or sizzling, it could still be more heat than your hair can stand

 

[MonPetite]

I agee with most of what has been said.

If you don't do your homework, go in first for a wash/poo to test the place out, ask to be turned towards the mirror, know your hairs specific weaknesses or needs, etc. it's going to be your fault.

If the stylist doesn't listen, lies about a skill, or is focused on making more money then doing a good job and your hair suffers it is the stylists fault.

There is a fine line between being proactive and dictating to someone how to do their job and I think the latter should be avoided.

Let me explain with two examples of stylists being at fault with my hair:

With the first I was 12 (just turned 12), my mother took me to a salon (JCP Penny's). I needed a touch-up and flat-ironing.

To a stylist RECOMMENDED By a family member.

My mother said to her in plain english:

NO trim. NO scissors.

Towards the end, after the wash as the stylist was flatironing my hair. My mother stepped just outside the door to chat with a friend who came by. Ten minutes later, she came back and saw my hair on the floor. To this DAY I remember other women looking at the stylist and me and the giggling and making smug faces during the 10 minute period, but didn't understand why.

The stylist had cut off 8 inches of hair UNEVENLY all around. My mother horrified demanded to know why she'd put scissors in my hair.

The stylist said: She didn't need all that hair. With her color it's not a big deal anyway (I am knocking on the biege door).

It took me 5 years to go back to a salon. Which led to experience number two:

ANOTHER highly recommened stylsit by two friends and family saw me to have a touch-up. I was going on seventeen and THIS time I was not going to have my hair cut off.

She sat me down and I said: TURN ME TO THE MIRROR. So she did, no issues. After the touch-up, I said: NO TRIMS. My hair has ALREADY been trimmed.

She asked: How long ago?

I said: LAST week.

She proceeds to comb my hair/detangle with conditioner. We're chatting and I keep noticing while one hand is in my hair the other keeps dipping up and down. As I keep looking I see a FLASH OF SILVER.

Scissors! SCISSORS. She was using my HEAD to block me from seeing her using scissors. She must've noticed my horrified expression because she suddenly thrust something them into her apron.

I immediately looked at the floor -SHE HAD SWEPT JUST BEFORE I SAT IN HER CHAIR. There was now TWO INCHES OF HAIR, my hair, on the floor. Seeing my obvious, rising anger she quickly stopped what she was doing with my hair and swept the floor with a silly little grin.

I could hardly believe what had happened.



In these two cases, I think the stylists were at fault: They were given clear instructions, highly recommended, and in the second case watched like a hawk. For me to do anything else would have been for me to dictate to them how to do their job on my hair. If that is the case I should go DIY. Which I have. If you can't follow the direction: NO SCISSORS PERIOD. The fault lies with you, the stylist.

To this day I only let my hair be trimmed by men (if it needs trimming) which up til this point (of those who have done my trims) actually don't want to take off as much as I'd ask! Aside from trimming I've also gone fully DIY. I'm also looking to master trims as well so I don't need a stylist for anything. I work too hard to keep my hair healthy and if I have to darn near hold your hand to protect my hair FROM YOU then I don't need to go to a salon.

 

[tbaby_8]

I agree with many, that it can be both faults. If you aren't taking care of your hair before you start going to a stylist or while you are going to a stylist, then it's your fault. Because stylist can only make your hair only so healthy if you aren't going to take care of it yourself. If you have been damaging your hair for years, do not go and sit in a stylist chair expecting a miracle fix. It's not going to happen. Also, YOU CAN'T CHAIR HOP! and expect your hair to become healthy. Remember the saying back in the day, that you can't have any and everybody in your hair. Too many people in your hair and all stylist have their own way of doing things and your hair will suffer.

However, if a stylist does something that you do not like or didn't request, then it is definitly the stylist fault and you have permission to get up and walk out without paying or paying for the part of the service that you have received that was requested, ONLY!

Some stylist are jealous of some people with pretty hair and will, on purpose, damage or cut a persons hair. Don't ask me why, but I have seen it happen and it amazes me that the client didn't get up and whip that @#$.

 

[JustKiya]

I agree with many, that it can be both faults. If you aren't taking care of your hair before you start going to a stylist or while you are going to a stylist, then it's your fault. Because stylist can only make your hair only so healthy if you aren't going to take care of it yourself. If you have been damaging your hair for years, do not go and sit in a stylist chair expecting a miracle fix. It's not going to happen. Also, YOU CAN'T CHAIR HOP! and expect your hair to become healthy. Remember the saying back in the day, that you can't have any and everybody in your hair. Too many people in your hair and all stylist have their own way of doing things and your hair will suffer.

However, if a stylist does something that you do not like or didn't request, then it is definitly the stylist fault and you have permission to get up and walk out without paying or paying for the part of the service that you have received that was requested, ONLY!

Some stylist are jealous of some people with pretty hair and will, on purpose, damage or cut a persons hair. Don't ask me why, but I have seen it happen and it amazes me that the client didn't get up and whip that @#$.

Okay? See, not to blow my own horn, but that's one of the main reasons I give so many stylists the sideeye - women can be CRAZZYY for no good danngone reason. And I live in a city were folx are known to cut a ****? The gods know, I'm not a violent person, but I'd have to stomp a mudhole in someone.

On the topic of the thread....

Anytime that you sit in a chair, and allow someone to do something that you KNOW is wrong, it's your fault.
Anytime you sit in a new chair, and aren't EAGLE-EYEING what the stylist is doing (and I don't care how high class or how highly recommended the spot is) it's your fault.
Anytime you sit in a new chair and don't ask, at EVERY step, what they are doing, what they are using, and why - it's your fault.
If you aren't timing your chemical process independantly, it's your fault.
If you aren't looking in the mirror and confirming how much they are cutting, it's your fault.



I do not agree with the idea 'oh, well, she's trained, so I can surrender my head to her' - that doesn't work for ANYONE in my employ, from my doctor to my mechanic, to the dude that fixes my shoes - no.
My giving you my hard earned money grants me the right to analyze, interrogate, and double check EVERYTHING you are doing, and ya know what? If you don't like it, I'll take my business, and my money elsewhere, without a second thought.
I consider them all consultants - trained ones yes, but merely consultants - who are working WITH and FOR me to get me the results that I want.

Anything less ain't worth my money.

Yes, I go through doctors like ho's go through panties.

 

[tenderheaded]

It's been a few yrs since I was jacked (preLHCF) but I asked the licensed stylist who did my permanent color when I could relax. She said 2 wks. That was a HUGE lie! I found out mid perm that she was moving to new salon and wanted to get all the $ she could get. She QUICKLY put a comb she'd been using in a drawer that looked FULL of my hair When the barrette I came in with wouldn't stay in, I thought I was just relaxed super straight. Then my APL hair fell out until you couldn't grip in between your thumb and forefinger.

I learned quickly that you do the perm first, then the color 2 wks later. Don't they teach this in beauty school??? This was def not my fault!

 

[GeauXavi]

ITA with what you ladies said...

I know, in my case, the damage occured by fault of ME and The STYLIST....

But, in my defense... I pre-warned the stylist that I had 8 weeks of new-growth, and that I was really into keeping my hair healthy...

When she looked at me like I had 3 noses for telling her about my stretch, and started talking about ew my ends (which were NOT bad, because I'm anal about ends) I should have left.... I think she thought I was a hair-snob, and was trying to F-my progress up, honestly...I SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE SALON...I think most of us get this little feeling that some ish is about to go down before it really does...

It has occured to me that black stylists today know more about quick weaves than healthy hair care these days...They would rather make ya bald-headed so that you can pay them $150 next time to get a weave instead of a roller-set that costs half of that....That really makes me quite angry, actually...

You know what they say...fool me once... I'm a DIY'er from now on...

 

[crazydaze911]

My main issue is trims becoming CUTS, and i ALWAYS EXPRESS my concern about this. the stylist still usually overdoes the cut. In that case, its their fault. But there have been times when i was a teenager where i was too NICE to complain. i always tip, regardless, but if its not what a want (like pink hair instead of purple) then the tip will be small and i will not go back to that stylist. or other times (like my sis in laws wedding) where the style and stylist had to be the one selected by the bride and i must let them rake through my hair in the interest of bridezilla - then thats also my fault (or shall i say, my conscious sacrifice)

 

[blasianbeauty]

It depends on the situation. In my experiences, it was the sylists fault. It didn't matter if I brought in pics and was VERY specific on what "I" wanted. When I got my hair cut in layers a year or so ago, I told her that after my hair was cut, to flip my hair out like the picture I brought in. But instead, she gave me spiral curls and I hated it!!!!!!!!!! They don't listen sometimes.