"So what if your hair doesn't get as long as you want?" Wait what? Lol

g.lo said:
my family members are the worst!!! some of my in laws!!!! allthough they have known me for over 15 years and never seen my hair pass shoulder (just touching), they still coming with excuse that " because you have mixed blood":ohwell:, for real! sad.
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This past weekend I celebrated my birthday at a restaurant with family. I decided to flat iron for the occasion. Unfortunately, I got my share of you know you have Native Americans in your family and that's why your hair is that length (longest layers are BSL when straightened) . The problem folks is that the NA lineage is actually on the same side that those commenting were on:ohwell:. Also, the NA was like 4 or 5 generations ago:perplexed. I said nope, "I'm just plain ole blackity black". I've tried to explain how I decided to let go of the creamy crack to no avail.:drunk: I just SMH and looked like this:look:.

OP- that's what this board is for. I have gotten random comments from male co-workers more than anything. I would log on and look at my hair idols, read posts, ask my questions, baby my lil raggedy SL hair:blush:, and KIM.
 
WhippedButterCreme said:
Hey all :grin: I was just wondering if the lot of you get discouragement during your hair journey? And not just from the people who don't matter--because they can and will be ignored like THAT :lol:-- but from dear friends and family? :nono:

Just today I got a mini surprise from a person who's been one of my biggest hair believers say something kind of...well debbie downerish.

I find it surprising that people who have seen my hair grow from cbl to bsb in 2 years still say 'what if your hair doesn't get to mbl?' :look:

Any stories like these to share? Am I taking this too personally? Maye this just a genuine question to make me realize I'm caring too much about my hair?? I had to hear from you ladies to see if I'm taking this too hard or not.

Before my offical hhj my hair was stuck at shoulder length and never grew, but everyone counted that as 'long' so is my naysayer thinking that I've hit my maximum length? The floor is yours!
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Meh you might be taking it too personally, I think she was just asking a sincere question. Knowing how hard you have tried to grow your hair from CBL to BSB she probably know that you put so much effort into your hair that you may be disappointed if for example you had a set back, or you do not achieve your goals as soon as you want them to.

Idk, I wouldnt take it too heart but there are people whose sole intention is to discourage. Its not as if she said "your hair cant grow that long, your black girl".... if so then yeah a complete debbie downer.
 
Now that I think about it, it's my mom. Which is silly cuz she's the one who grew it out to MBL when I was a kid. Hmm. I need to talk to her about that.
 
LongLeggedLife said:
Whats the point of making pre-annoucements of something that will take such a looooooong time? Thats like saying, "hey I'm gonna get those really nice shoes...three years from now!!"...
I can kinda understand why people would take a 'believe it when I see it' stance.
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LOL!!!! If I've ever come off that way, I think I deserve it!! :lol:. I've never really involved others in my hair journey (non lhcfers lol) except a select few who I perceived as on my team and supportive (3 ppl in total!!).

Usually someone would say something like: 'you've got a head full of hair, why are you still in braids?' 'Why do you wear extensions when you have long hair?' then I'd tell them my goal is to get to mbl.

Lol! I only tell them my length goals when prompted (and only if I think it's sincere), not yelling to the stars that someday I'm gonna have some long huir! :lachen:
 
This is one of the reasons why I take photos of my hair at different stages. If I didn't, I wouldn't really notice the growth I have (or have not) retained.

I've gotten over the Negative Nelles because I've been involved on hair forums since 2003. I've seen many hair journeys and they are all different and inspiring to me. Even if I don't make WSL, I know my journey to healthier hair has not been in vain. I also make sure to enjoy my hair at all lengths just like Poohbear said because I have the same experience that she does. (Actually, we started transitioning around the same time! lol)
 
LongLeggedLife said:
Whats the point of making pre-annoucements of something that will take such a looooooong time? Thats like saying, "hey I'm gonna get those really nice shoes...three years from now!!"...
I can kinda understand why people would take a 'believe it when I see it' stance.
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'
I'm noticing a ton of these. Why does anyone care if someone says something or not. I don't think anyone is like: Hey everyone, I'm growing my hair long. Cary on.:lachen:

There's situations like:
In my case I'm visiting my mom and I flat iron my hair and she says "Oooh! How long are you going to grow it?" And I say "I think tailbone" just as my dad walks by and starts with his b.s "yeah right".

Should I have kept quiet? How was I to know that debbie or bob downer was around the corner. Is it all so secret that I can't speak my mind? It's just hair. I don't think anyone is like "LOOK at my glorious hair LOOOOOOK! BAWHAWHAW" and if they are that's really sad.:nono: I think there are various unexpected situations that come up.

What this is really about is that others either 1) lack of belief in possibilities outside of their experience or 2) negativity based on low self worth, jealousy, or just wanting to 3) get someone else to believe with their standpoint.

I do agree, as I get older, that it is better to keep things to oneself even when people ASK in the first place, because not everyone has the best motives unfortunately. It's the reason I actually said it to my mom because I know she is a positive person.Unfortunately a downer was in the viccinity at the time.
 
Only my DH knows my hair goals and no one else, and he's very encouraging. Don't need the negative energy and distractions.
 
luckiestdestiny said:
'
I'm noticing a ton of these. Why does anyone care if someone says something or not. I don't think anyone is like: Hey everyone, I'm growing my hair long. Cary on.:lachen:

There's situations like:
In my case I'm visiting my mom and I flat iron my hair and she says "Oooh! How long are you going to grow it?" And I say "I think tailbone" just as my dad walks by and starts with his b.s "yeah right".

Should I have kept quiet? How was I to know that debbie or bob downer was around the corner. Is it all so secret that I can't speak my mind? It's just hair. I don't think anyone is like "LOOK at my glorious hair LOOOOOOK! BAWHAWHAW" and if they are that's really sad.:nono: I think there are various unexpected situations that come up.

What this is really about is that others either 1) lack of belief in possibilities outside of their experience or 2) negativity based on low self worth, jealousy, or just wanting to 3) get someone else to believe with their standpoint.

I do agree, as I get older, that it is better to keep things to oneself even when people ASK in the first place, because not everyone has the best motives unfortunately. It's the reason I actually said it to my mom because I know she is a positive person.Unfortunately a downer was in the viccinity at the time.
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LOL! That's EXACTLY how it goes for me! I'll tell a genuine supporter what my goals are because they asked and are curious for all the right reasons, and then someone else who gets into hearing range or just butts into the convo says, 'You have long hair already. What, it's not good enough anymore? Want that white girl long hair huh?'

Wtf does that even mean? Lol sorry, but I want that black girl long hair; long and thick and head turning!! :lol:
 
g.lo said:
my family members are the worst!!! some of my in laws!!!! allthough they have known me for over 15 years and never seen my hair pass shoulder (just touching), they still coming with excuse that " because you have mixed blood":ohwell:, for real! sad.
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PFFT! If I had a dime for everytime I've heard that I'd be Bill Gates rich! :rolleyes: Don't have any Native American/White ancestry in us since my great grandparents. And even then I don't think that's even enough to even get a college grant for it! :lachen: As blacks, any lady with thriving hair past their shoulders shouldn't get an automatic 'you're mixed' pass or something. :spinning:
 
luckiestdestiny said:
'
I'm noticing a ton of these. Why does anyone care if someone says something or not. I don't think anyone is like: Hey everyone, I'm growing my hair long. Cary on.:lachen:

There's situations like:
In my case I'm visiting my mom and I flat iron my hair and she says "Oooh! How long are you going to grow it?" And I say "I think tailbone" just as my dad walks by and starts with his b.s "yeah right".

Should I have kept quiet? How was I to know that debbie or bob downer was around the corner. Is it all so secret that I can't speak my mind? It's just hair. I don't think anyone is like "LOOK at my glorious hair LOOOOOOK! BAWHAWHAW" and if they are that's really sad.:nono: I think there are various unexpected situations that come up.

What this is really about is that others either 1) lack of belief in possibilities outside of their experience or 2) negativity based on low self worth, jealousy, or just wanting to 3) get someone else to believe with their standpoint.

I do agree, as I get older, that it is better to keep things to oneself even when people ASK in the first place, because not everyone has the best motives unfortunately. It's the reason I actually said it to my mom because I know she is a positive person.Unfortunately a downer was in the viccinity at the time.
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I just think we as hair afficionados expect other reg hair civilians to get caught up in the same excitement that we share. If they have never seen our hair at a certain length, then it would understandably sound a bit unbelieveable to those who arent looking at the beautiful 'proof' pics on LHCF everyday. I understand positive visualization and allLOL--but to me this is one of those occasions it'd be better to let your length speak for itself, particularly if you are encountering negativity when you make these future predictions.
I'm more likely to refer to the last goal I already obviously reached vs. the one that may or may not happen 1095days from now. Or at least one thats within sight....if you are APL, saying BSL isnt that much of a stretch, but at a shaved BC stage talking about tailbone length....its like ok, let me know when you get thereLOL.

Side note: my pops is always clowning me asking me when am I gonna wear that mud hat again (henna)----your pops is probably just teasing his baby girl;)
 
I talk hair with those interested in it like my aunt and you all. My mom, bff and brother aren't into it but I talk about it anyway they're supportive.
 
LongLeggedLife said:
I just think we as hair afficionados expect other reg hair civilians to get caught up in the same excitement that we share. If they have never seen our hair at a certain length, then it would understandably sound a bit unbelieveable to those who arent looking at the beautiful 'proof' pics on LHCF everyday. I understand positive visualization and allLOL--but to me this is one of those occasions it'd be better to let your length speak for itself, particularly if you are encountering negativity when you make these future predictions.
I'm more likely to refer to the last goal I already obviously reached vs. the one that may or may not happen 1095days from now. Or at least one thats within sight....if you are APL, saying BSL isnt that much of a stretch, but at a shaved BC stage talking about tailbone length....its like ok, let me know when you get thereLOL.

Side note: my pops is always clowning me asking me when am I gonna wear that mud hat again (henna)----your pops is probably just teasing his baby girl;)
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In RE: I am waistlength so saying I'm going to tailbone isn't a stretch so my dad was just being well...silly and a downer when he's saying tailbone is not going to happen. My dad is not teasing, I really don't know what it is he's doing...but I shrug it off anyways because it doesn't affect me one way or another. I laugh when he gets like that and keep going.

I will say I can concede that when you're at the beginning no one will listen except perhaps the most supportive. I mean when I had to lose weight after medically induced weight gain (medication killed my thyroid)...this is after being a skinny minny forever, I had tons to lose and everyone was in my business trying to tell me what to do without me asking, and without me even saying I was trying to lose it back. I even lost thirty pounds and people were still trying to TELL me how to lose weight, those who had NEVER had to lose weight and ate crap (basically skinny because of metabolism). Me telling them in defense after they started their lectures that I knew what to do and was already exercising as always was a joke to them(they weren't hearing it and I mean I was in ballet and running everywhere. I gained over 100 pounds in 3 months because of radioactive iodine plain and simple and I got it off after my thyroid was re balanced after being destroyed because I always ate well). No one was listening until it was so significant they just shut up. So you're definitely right that when you're far away from a goal...people will most likely smirk and think you don't know what you're doing or think whatever see you when you get there for sure!
 
I've had close friends and family members doubt that I can reach my hair goal. They even used to discourage me from even trying. I hear what they have to say and use it as fuel to keep up with my regimen. My ultimate goal is WL. Right now I'm BSL stretched and no one knows cause I keep my hair up in a puff, twists or braids. I want to reveal my hair once its MBL and I keep it lookin short just so people will be that much more amazed when I finally straigthen it. That's how you shut up the haters but patience and consistency with your regimen is key.
 
Because I had long hair as a child/teenager, I think that my family and friends feel that it's possible...When I had my setback with the color--no one ever really said--give it up--but these last two weeks of wearing my hair out with my new color--my inner circle have commented that I should be WL in no time--I think they have more faith in my journey than I do sometime...

But, I do understand the naysayers--my attitude about that is "I can show you better than I can tell you"...and I KIM...
 
Ummm:look:, is that thought really an option:scratchch? I know for me, it isn't:nono: - I don't care what others think.
 
My friend didn't exactly doubt me getting to my goal, he did say 'but won't it become unmanageable at that length?' Do you know I wanted to punch that douche in the face?! LOL.
 
I can relate. My boyfriend, who recently began braiding his hair, told me the other day that, "Watch my hair grow longer than yours, I have good hair". I shook my head and said, "Oh boy, here goes another Black person talking about good hair and good hair grows faster than the rest". I'm over it. This forum has encouraged me and provided me with all the support I need. I don't talk about my hair journey to anyone. I know I will reach my goal because I FINALLY know what to do this time around. Forget what anyone has to say. Time tells all. Now carry on! :-)
 
It's so funny because when my family used to clown me about my hair goals, I never felt an ounce of doubt. I was so sure that I would be swinging my HL hair in no time.

But now that nobody laughs at my hair goals, I feel doubt all the time. Like, I'll just look in the mirror and be sad because I'll feel like I'll never reach my hair goals lmao.

But I just tell myself to keep going with my regimen and good hair practices, because if I give up, then it really will never happen. The years are going to pass anyway, so I might as well just keep going.
 
I have not had anyone ask me that but I ask myself that all the time and I will just but all my energy on healthy hair. I guess I am the one that don't want to be disappointed.
 
OP, I haven't read the others' responses so I apologize if this has been addressed, but you just need to quit sharing your plans with people. Not everyone is happy to see others succeed so you telling people about your goals is just opening yourself to heartache from jealous folk and those who don't care.

I don't even set hair goals for myself coz that's just setting myself up for failure. Just letting my hair show me what it can do is more satisfying than make a milestone I was already looking at.

Anyway, you probably should just start a "rumor" that you realized how much you love your hair at the length it is and that you're not really sure you want it longer. But continue to do you. If asked why PS then, coz you like your healthy ends and coz you like the wow factor of when you wear your hair down. Anyway, you don't owe anyone explanation for what you do with your hair. Just quit sharing your vision wall with others. Don't let negativity get in the way of the law of attraction.
 
I get this all the time. it's soo annoying and mostly my fault for not taking care of my hair the way I should. I joined this site after all my hair fell out from bad relaxers, to learn healthier ways to grow and maintain my hair.

In 2007 I went through this Rihanna phase where I wanted to be "edgy" and cut off all my hair. I rocked a short cut for a while and hated it! I was so miserable, I decided to cut shorter and just transition to natural. My last "LIE" was maybe March 2007.

Present, my hair is SL/CBL (they really look the same to me) and it's been there since late 09/early 2010. My friends and family ask why do I keep wearing braids/wigs and I tell them because I'm not comfortable with the length of my hair to wear it out. And of course, the response is, "well what if your hair never gets as long as you want? Are you going to wear wigs forever?

It's so frustrating!!!!!
 
It seems so far that the only person that believes in my hair journey without smirking their face up or sounding sarcastic is my SO. At first it was the other way around. Now, he says he can't wait to be able to wrap his hand in my hair and go around three times. Idk where that came from but I like it lol. My mom doesn't like me having different products and spending so much time in the bathroom (which isnt even hair related, I'm a makeup junkie lol). She says I'm gonna make my hair fall out. I don't share hair info anymore with her. She gets so weird about it. My sister wastes the info I give her. And my friend said that protein treatments will shock my hair and keep it from growing. So I'm just gonna keep pushing on my own. They can see my growth. And when my hair is longer than my sisters (about two inches), I'm jut gonna act like I haven't noticed :)

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF :)
 
^^ right! A friend that knew NOTHING about hair care and who's hair hasn't gotten past SL in four years. I told him everything he knows. And I schooled his mom. Now all of a sudden he's some expert. I just had to laugh


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF :)
 
girl no you are not overreacting! my hair is ALLLLMOST BSL and you would think i hit the lottery or something. my hair is long in the real world i guess, but on the boards i'm "average". :)

people don't even realize what we can achieve with our hair. it's sad.

people who don't even know me are like "IS THAT YOUR HAIR?!" as if to say, how in the heck can you "black lady" even ATTEMPT to have hair that long with out a weave.

funny thing is now when i wear a weave it is the same length as my real hair.

the length of fake hair i used as a protective style that used to be my inspiration and goal length, is now how long my actual hair is......and people still don't want to encourage me when they see i used fake hair as a goal and achieved it!

i stopped caring and listening. some people are just brainwashed to believe we can't grow long hair. some people are just mean and naysayers.

i want all those people to jump on lhcf and see some of my sisters with hair down to the floor, so they can stop hating on my "short" little strands and BELIEVE in us for once!
 
Aside from my sister, I haven't told anyone else about my hair goals. I have my goals written down but I don't share them.

I have found that when people know about a goal, they offer their opinions, remind you constantly and keep track of it.

I prefer to do what I want and people will just have to wait and see once its done.

Sent from my HTC Glacier using HTC Glacier
 
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