So the hairdresser said this to me...

hopeful

Well-Known Member
"Relaxers and braids are a no no." And she was dead serious.

My teenage daughter is relaxed. This hair stylist has been doing my daughter's hair for a little over a year. My daughter's hair was maybe APL when we came to her. I had been doing her hair for sometime and it was doing fine except for one spot in the front that wouldn't take the relaxer. So I thought I need professional help. The rest of her hair was thick, healthy, beautiful. She has very fine strands, but she has a lot of them so it looks like she has really thick hair.

Anywho, I noticed she used a lot of heat on her hair so after a few months, when school was out last year, I told her to not use any heat during the summer, just put it in two braids and let it air dry. When school started again in the fall I told my daughter she should start getting roller sets and only flat-iron now and then. Of course she was like nooo. Then I tell the hair stylist what I had in mind and she's like oh I don't use that much heat on her hair. Every week or every other week won't hurt it. And she'll hate her hair if I rollerset it because it will be too big and poofy. So I say okay.

Three months later in December I ask my daughter what's going on with her hair? I comb through it and her hair is eaten up underneath, she had lost so much length, especially in the back, which is where she always had the most length, I think she maybe had lost at least 5 inches.

So in January I ask the stylist did she cut it or what was going on with her hair. And she's just like I don't know it just sheds so much and is always so dry. She suggested switching relaxers so I said okay but no more heat, just go back to braiding it and letting it airdry. She said okay.

So fast forward to yesterday. Her hair is finally looking a little healthier. She's wearing a twist-out everyday. So she's supposed to get a relaxer. I ask the hairstylist I know you say you trim with every single relaxer but would you please skip the trim this time. I want her to see her length and I'm not saying never trim again, just skip it this time so we can see what we're working with and so she can see a little more length. She's like that will set us back if we do that. Then she says I know you think this braiding thing is helping but it's not. It doesn't make any sense to braid her hair. "Relaxers and braids are a no no." I said I mean really what actual harm can come from braiding hair, I have never heard such a thing in my life. She just like it's just not good, you shouldn't do that, the hair can't breath, you need to comb it out and straighten it. I said we do comb through it, then we braid it. Anyway, she was talking in circles.

All the while I wanted to say that I have grown my daughter's relaxed hair out several times by keeping it braided up (no extensions). I wanted to tell her how many of the ladies on here grow their hair out with roller-sets or braid-outs, and avoid heat like the plague. But I didn't, I was just in shock that a hairdresser, a young woman who appears to be intelligent could be so ignorant about haircare. I was so disappointed.

Finally she said well come on we'll just go ahead and relax and I said no and we left. So today I'm back to doing her hair, right now it is being deep conditioned by me with the ORS pak, warm olive oil and other moisturizing conditioners. Her hair looks so happy again. Now I wish I had insisted on the rollersets or just never have gone to her and kept doing her hair myself:(.
 
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I am sorry hear about this! I am glad that you had the courage to speak up at let the stylist know what was on your mind. So many women clam up when it come to letting a hair "professional" (i am using that term loosely!!) know what we think in terms of our hair and our childrens hair. Good for you. Let the hair growth begin, again. Mama knows BEST!!
 
Good for you, girl! Don't worry about what happened in the past. You learned a valuable lesson: YOU are the professional when it comes to your baby's hair! Plain and simple. Honey, you'll have her hair to her butt by the time she goes to college! :D
 
I wonder why she said "Relaxers and braids are a no no." She never really explained herself. I never heard that one before.

It's wonderful Hopeful that you asserted yourself and did what was best for your daughter. What a great mother you are! Your daughter is learning some valuable lessons from what you did too. :yep:
 
Your daughter is lucky that you care so much for her hair. And I know she'll absorb healthy hair practices from what you're doing rather than what the stylist did.

My mom stopped doing my hair when I was in 5th grade, but up until that point she kept it braided all the time. But when I started getting relaxers in 6th grade I was on my own. Luckily the lady that did my hair was good at what she did and I never had any problems.

Good luck nursing her hair to its fullest potential. ;)
 
My mother said the same thing to me the other day when I asked her if she could braid my hair. :eek: She said someone told her that having braids and a relaxer would break off the person's hair.

Thank goodness she agreed to put braids in my hair!
 
The moral of this story is never speak things aloud when you are not 100% sure about the topic which you speak about! She's talking garbage out loud about a topic you obviously have experience in, you never no who you are talking too! I'm glad you had that guts to say no! A lot of people just agree because they don't want to get into a confrontation, you did the right thing, good for you! :)
 
Hair dressers think they know everything. Funny though I was always told that when you get a relaxer to wait at least 2-3 weeks before braiding it because I was told it can break your hair off, being that your hair is so straight and the braids can pull or be too tight for your hair. However when I entered into some of the challenges on this board I got my hair relaxed March 10th and then braided a week later for my wig challange and my hair did not break off like I was told, it actually grew. So good for you taking a stand on your daughter's hair.
 
Thank you ladies, all of you are so wonderful. My daughter is reading your responses with me and she said to thank you guys for the encouragement:).

I could just :kiss: all of you.
 
I think the thing with relaxers and braids is that so many women do not properly moisturize. The hairdresser did not realize that she was not dealing with just any ol' body.

Good luck to you in taking care of your baby girl's hair!
 
hopeful said:
Thank you ladies, all of you are so wonderful. My daughter is reading your responses with me and she said to thank you guys for the encouragement:).

I could just :kiss: all of you.


Aww thats must be soo cute to see!!
 
My older sister said that when she was younger magazines/hairdressers etc, always advised not to braid relaxed hair and that it would break off. I guess this lady still believes it.
 
I'm not trying to be sarcastic...
BUT HAIR HAS LUNGS!!!!:eek: Since when does hair need to breath? :confused: No, seriously... answer this question someone! Stop shaking your head... I AM SERIOUS! I hear people say it but i didn't know that the really MEANT it. Is it true?

sorry about your stylist (shameless plug) I love Novlette... she is awesome. She doesn't do eeeeeverything right, but whatever she is doing it works.:)
 
I have been using the C&G since February this year I have already retained 1.5 inches. I know if my hair was out I would have probably only retained 1 inch.
 
Well, tight braiding is a no-no no matter if you're relaxed or not, but braiding with the appropriate amount of tension can't do any harm. If you don't notice any pieces breaking off and it's looking better, continue to do it. Your daughter's hair does not have to be poofy with a rollerset, just use large roller and for her age she is going to need some flat twists or those mini-claw clips or something in the front to make the style look younger. I think the two of you should work on learning to set her hair at home. That way when she moves out on her own she will always be able to look after her own hair. Also, since she is not complaining about the braid-out I don't think she is averse to poofy hair.
 
Great story. It reads like a novel. Anyway, I'm glad you're back in control and that you stood up for yourself.
 
That's exactly what happened to my younger cousins hair. This girls hair was past bra strap, just super long. My aunt was taking care of it just fine. Then she started going to stylist and having them use all that heat, and in about a year or so her hair broke down to shoulder length. My cousin is old enough to do her own hair (she refuses to let a stylist touch her) now, and I see it's looking a little better.

But kudos to you for not letting her mess up your daughters hair. It's sad that so many stylist out there really dont know what they're doing.
 
jasmin said:
I'm sorry but why is she still going to this lady?

She is not still going to her. At the end of my post I said that we walked out and that I was doing her hair again. We will not be returning to her ever again.

Thank you Divine Inspiration, Nonie, Blue Flower, Kimberly, Glossyxlipz, Sweetwhispers, Bosslady1, PreciousJewell76, Sareca and Destiny616 for your kind words and encouragement.

Bravenewgirl87, your are crazy:lol:.

CAPlush said:
Well, tight braiding is a no-no no matter if you're relaxed or not, but braiding with the appropriate amount of tension can't do any harm. If you don't notice any pieces breaking off and it's looking better, continue to do it. Your daughter's hair does not have to be poofy with a rollerset, just use large roller and for her age she is going to need some flat twists or those mini-claw clips or something in the front to make the style look younger. I think the two of you should work on learning to set her hair at home. That way when she moves out on her own she will always be able to look after her own hair. Also, since she is not complaining about the braid-out I don't think she is averse to poofy hair.

CAPlush, your post was so helpful to me. Thank you so much. I like the idea of doing flat twists or using mini-claw clips in the front. And you are right, we need to learn how to roller-set, we don't have a choice. She's just a freshman in high school, so we have a little over three years before she's off to college. With practice we/she should be able to master rollersetting.

And you know the thing is she's just coming around about the braid-outs. She has always loved loved super-straight, flat-ironed hair and frowned on the braid-outs in the past, but now that she no longer has longer hair she is changing her tune. And she has also always frowned on roller-sets too even though her hair was the healthiest and close to the longest when she used to get rollersets (from another hairstylists years ago). I even sat her down in September and said you really need to get rollersets or braid it up and leave the heat alone most of the time or you are not going to be able to have long hair. She was like I want my hair to be straight (as in flat-ironed) and I don't care about the length. Yes she said that! Well she cares now. She has never had hair shorter than shoulder-length hair and now that it's close to neck-length she realizes that yes, she does like and want long hair. I think she took it for granted that she'd always have long hair.

Dannie19, I can't believe the same thing happened to your cousin, thank you so much for sharing that story with me.

And ladies we are not using extensions or anything and we are not braiding her hair tightly. We are gently detangling, loading it with moisturizers (a creamy one and s-curl), sealing/coating with oil, then braiding it and rolling the ends with magnetic rollers. Well at least that's what I did last night ofter deep conditioning it. I'm sure my daughter is not as diligent about moisturizing as am, but she is learning.

Lastly, I had no idea that some believed relaxing and braiding did not go together. So thanks to those of you who pointed this out to me. At least now I know she didn't pull that theory out of the air.
 
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