My hairdresser does not like me

Don't let that Vee disrepect you like that! You can spend your money somewhere else! That's the problem with some(?) black hairstylists: unprofessional and don't know anything about hair OR customer service.
 
You shouldn't give your money to someone you feel does not like you. Eventually she could start to take it out on your hair and then you will really be upset that you didn't leave her alone sooner. Do some searching for salon's in your area ask them their hair care beliefs, tell them your's look at their work (they should have a portfolio of hair they have styled) and see if they are a match for you. Remember your paying for a service, professionalism should come first, not how she feels about you.
 
:Run: Either find a new hair dresser or Do It Yourself.

You are the customer. My last hair dresser thought she could tell me what to do with my hair while I paid her. This was about 15 year ago. Your money pays her bills, your hair dresser should do exactly what you ask them to do, it took me years to realize this.
 
Hi Soror and welcome to DST!

I think you should leave also. IMO, you should not be treated disrespectfully. Especially, when you are paying for a service!
 
Please Leave. Go. Please. Run. And Don't Look Back.:look:

Trust Me: If it's already starting off this bad, can you imagine how Bad it's Going to Get? Trust Me, It will only going to get Worse (especially if they "think" you need her/them.):nono:

Don't ever put yourself in that situation. You are a paying customer. I learned the hard way.:wallbash:

And I am paying the Price. The only thing Good that Came out of my "tragedy" was finding LHCF.
 
Girl!!!1 I had the had problems with my stylist too....for one she jacked up the price on a sew in I wanted and when I wanted to know or have her explain why she went on and on saying I complain too much, and asking me if I was in her shoes would I lose out on money...girl I mean she went on and on....

I was very very hesitant to go back to her, but I decided to call her (b/c the whole argument was through text) and she apologized and told me to come in to get my hair done for my graduation...she even got me a graduation card :grin:

I am soooo picky when it comes to my hair and I don't like any and everybody playing in my hair so if ur like me I would try and talk to her first...HTH
 
The Current State of the Economy doesn't Lend itself to "Service Providers" acting Funny. That service is a Luxury moreso than a Necessity.:perplexed

And I know. Because I had my behind every Thursday at 5:00 sitting in some Stylists Chair on a Weekly for over 25 Years.:look:

Especially when there are shops on just about every corner. They should be bowing and scraping down to You. The Customer. Your Needs, Your Wants, Your Desires.:yep:

That is why the next time I decide to visit a Salon, It's Gonna Be My Way or The Highway.:rolleyes:
 
I agree with SimplyBlessed...I would tell Vee how you feel, and see what she has to say. People can't automatically read your mind, and she might have no idea that you're feeling disrespected.

I gave my last hairdresser an opportunity to fix the situation before I left her. It took me almost a week to work up the nerve to call her LOL, but I felt it was important to let her know how I was feeling. She came up with a million excuses for why she had messed up my style, so I told her that I would not be coming back. IMO, that has much more of an impact than just disappearing....and who knows, she might even learn something from the experience.

I can't believe Vee said you needed to get a trim because you were making HER look bad...as if the only function of your hair is to serve as a walking advertisement for her shop! SMH
 
Thanks so much guys. The more I keep hearing you all say leave, the more I thought of all the stuff I go through in that shop. Especially feeling uncomfortable about speaking up when it comes to my hair for fear that I will get looked at like I'm crazy by all the stylists in the shop for making recommendations.

I think that time had helped me to let go some of my angst that's why I was questioning whether or not I should leave, but when I think about how many times she has disrespected me in front of customers, the anger that I feel on those days always come back.

I'm not going back there. Besides her, I never found anyone who does my relaxers like I like them (by that I mean not leaving them on too long or "combing it through," etc), so I just hope the next stylist isn't worse. Hopefully, I will find someone who does at least as good of a job.

PS - Thank you sorors for the congrats!! And thanks to the other members of the Divine 9 for their well-wishes also! You won't believe how good it feels to finally be out!
 
mstar said:
I agree with SimplyBlessed...I would tell Vee how you feel, and see what she has to say. People can't automatically read your mind, and she might have no idea that you're feeling disrespected.

I gave my last hairdresser an opportunity to fix the situation before I left her. It took me almost a week to work up the nerve to call her LOL, but I felt it was important to let her know how I was feeling. She came up with a million excuses for why she had messed up my style, so I told her that I would not be coming back. IMO, that has much more of an impact than just disappearing....and who knows, she might even learn something from the experience.

I can't believe Vee said you needed to get a trim because you were making HER look bad...as if the only function of your hair is to serve as a walking advertisement for her shop! SMH
Click to expand...

Hey there, your advice was really insightful. I want to talk to her but when it comes to black stylists and hair, it's almost like southern Christians and the Bible: their beliefs are steadfast. Stylists feel as though they are the ones who went to cosmetology school and they are the ones who have been doing hair forever, so they know everything.

So even if I talk to her about the disrespect-factor, she may ease on her responses, but I still think she is going to feel like I am trying to tell her how to do her job. I don't know, but I just hate telling some people about how I care for my hair or proper ways to care for hair because they are so caught up in their own various stigmas.

I mean, I showed one of my homegirls this website and she was like, "Girl, everybody on their wearing weaves...Don't be fooled!" lol
 
ljbee said:
Thanks so much guys. The more I keep hearing you all say leave, the more I thought of all the stuff I go through in that shop. Especially feeling uncomfortable about speaking up when it comes to my hair for fear that I will get looked at like I'm crazy by all the stylists in the shop for making recommendations.

I think that time had helped me to let go some of my angst that's why I was questioning whether or not I should leave, but when I think about how many times she has disrespected me in front of customers, the anger that I feel on those days always come back.

I'm not going back there. Besides her, I never found anyone who does my relaxers like I like them (by that I mean not leaving them on too long or "combing it through," etc), so I just hope the next stylist isn't worse. Hopefully, I will find someone who does at least as good of a job.
Click to expand...

I wish You could take One Look at My Hair! I lost over 90% of My Hair in a Similar situation. A very disrespectful stylist who serviced me for over 5 years on a weekly basis. And I just sat there not wanting to say anything, because, afterall, she was "the professional."

The last straw for my poor Hair was Nov '08 the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. She was trying to make as much money as she could (greed). She left me sitting in the chair with a Relaxer on while she started on 2 other clients.

By Dec '08 and early Jan '09 all of my hair was gone. Bald Patches and Spots all throughout. Everything had fallen out down to the New Growth. That is what lead me here. I decided no one would ever have complete control over my Hair again (but me).

She would always make some kind of side-eyed remarks and she would always "tell" me what I needed instead of what "I" wanted. So, that's why I am telling you, if it's like this now: Chances are it is not going to improve. Talking to her --:perplexed ???

She may straighten up for a while, but it probably won't last. "When People Show You who they Are, Believe Them"

Please don't make the same mistake I did.:nono:
 
I don't care if someone is doing something for free and paying me to participate, I wouldn't stand for that sort of disrespect. Your hair doesn't have a mouth to speak but you do. As another person metioned speak to women who have hair you like and ask them who there stylist is. Sometimes, finding a stylists is like dating. It can take time, but finding the right one is worth it. Or you can self-relax on your own! :) Good luck.
 
ljbee said:
Hey there, your advice was really insightful. I want to talk to her but when it comes to black stylists and hair, it's almost like southern Christians and the Bible: their beliefs are steadfast. Stylists feel as though they are the ones who went to cosmetology school and they are the ones who have been doing hair forever, so they know everything.

So even if I talk to her about the disrespect-factor, she may ease on her responses, but I still think she is going to feel like I am trying to tell her how to do her job. I don't know, but I just hate telling some people about how I care for my hair or proper ways to care for hair because they are so caught up in their own various stigmas.

I mean, I showed one of my homegirls this website and she was like, "Girl, everybody on their wearing weaves...Don't be fooled!" lol
Click to expand...
Girl, I hear you...some of these stylists are a mess. :nono:

Towards the end, I caught on that my stylist was charging me more than she charged other people. I had been seeing her regularly for a year, we got along very well, and I always tipped at least 20%, so I was shocked. Then she blow-dried me without detangling first, and I watched her throw away two handfuls of my hair. Then she failed to use heat protectant before my press. The last straw was when she jacked up my individual braids--they were just sloppy and ugly, and I had to wear them up in a ponytail because they looked so bad. After all that, I felt that I owed it to MYSELF to let her know exactly why I was leaving...not only did it make me feel better, but it just might cause her to be more careful in the future with other clients.

But my stylist was generally very open-minded as a person, and it sounds like Vee is more hard-headed, so you should probably just leave. Good luck with finding a new hairdresser, and I'm sorry you had to go through all this.
 
Hateful hairdresser + Your hair = :crying3::whyme::catfight: Don't go to a hairdresser that undermines you and your hair. Better to be safe than bald :look:.
 
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If I feel uncomfortable, I wont continue to go.

If I am paying you to do a service for me, then you do what I pay you to do. If I am telling you I dont need a trim service, then I shouldnt have to fight you for that. I dumped someone over that.

If you act like you cannot do what I ask you to do and I am PAYING you to do it, you will also get dumped.

If I feel like you are talking about me, you will get dumped.

I dont understand these stylists. They act like they own your hair and when you come to them you are at thier mercy.

Not in this lifetime!

OP, as you prolly figured out, I think you should dump your stylist. :lachen:
 
ljbee said:
I have been seriously contemplating whether or not I should return to the place where I have been getting my hair relaxed for the past 2 years. I started after my original stylist moved away and recommended her to me.

Let's call her Vee. The only time I go to Vee is for a relaxer, other than that I do not go to a salon. Well, it all started when she wanted to trim my hair and I told her that I didn't want it cut that time. She let it go, but then the next time I came in she starts saying "Your hair looks raggedy and I'm not about to let you walk around like this because you are advertising my business and giving me a bad name ." ............................ Should I leave??
Click to expand...



I SHOULD have stop reading and just replied then...................


DROP her with a quickness!!! My hairdresser is sweet to me even though I don't go there unless I need the relaxer....I do tip her very well since I don't go often and she knows I will be back

She also, doesn't give me "ish" for not trimming......SHE actually says....only a little, okay......:yep::yep:

You are paying HER to do YOUR hair...... you are Her business and she is rude like this......OH no!!! And I would TELL her you were looking to go elsewhere, you don't need her to make you feel uncomfortable

That's like your doctor getting upset cause you are asking or requesting something from them..... OH HHHHH...... NO
 
LJbee{or is it IJbee?}, get the heck away from them. Choose carefully to avoid someone jacking up your hair; seek recommendations from someone with fabulous hair you admire.
 
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