So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Single?

[Poohbear]

I've seen a lot of threads about hoping and praying that the women of LHCF get married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married. God has not promised every man and woman to be married. There's nothing wrong with praying to be married one day, but sometimes it seems like with all the threads in this forum, there are women here who are depressed, saddened, confused, or frustrated that they are not married yet. It's almost to the point that they would probably get mad at God for not blessing them with a man to marry. And that's not good. Plus, to face reality, God is not going to allow all of us to get married. God either says, "Yes", "No", or "Maybe" to answer our prayers. And we must be content with God's answer for each one of us. God also wants us to be happy as an unmarried person.

While we are unmarried, shouldn't our focus be more on the Lord rather than hoping for a man to get married to? Should we instead be praying to do God's will and purpose for our lives whether we are unmarried or not?

Here is what the Bible says about the advantages of being single:
“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

I also wanted to say this...He never recommends that everyone stay single. Early in the chapter, he says that some must marry because of their desires. From a spiritual standpoint, a single man has more time to concentrate on spiritual matters. Of course, if one doesn’t use being single to spend more time in the work of the Lord, then this advantage goes away and there is no spiritual advantage to being single.
However, not everyone should be married. Not everyone wants to be married. Although that is what we were created for, it is hard to legitimately obey the command to be fruitful and multiply if one does not marry.


Just thought I would share...thoughts and comments are welcome....

 

[Bunny77]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Ooh, my favorite topic. Nicola Kirwan, I think answered this one best though!

The 1 Corinthians 7 is often quoted in relationship to this topic, but this is Paul's opinion. Yes, Paul was divinely inspired, but I have often wondered why this opinion of Paul's is interpreted as a statement from God about the "advantages" or "benefits" of being single. The fact is, very few people at that time remained single, unless, as you said, they were called to work for the Lord. Unless a person has received that specific calling, they are meant to be married.

Now, I recognize that God has not promised marriage to everyone. However, in a culture that values marriage, most people who want to marry will marry. What we are experiencing today is not the result of God suddenly deciding that he wants more single servants, but the consequences of living in a sinful world that has devalued marriage... which is why fewer men are stepping up to be husbands and fewer women are becoming wives.

Satan can attack a people by first and foremost hitting the family unit. All of this talk of longterm singleness, to me, is just another sign of the enemy having his way and preventing God's children from coming together in matrimony and creating future members of His kingdom that will live under the guidance of a father and mother.

If we happen to be unmarried at this time, we should still live our lives in blessing and thanksgiving, but God's will and purpose for most of His children is marriage. And praying that it happen in a sinful world that says otherwise is praying for His will to be done.

 

[Laela]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Poohbear,

This post is nothing but Truth, esp the bolded!

I believe, though, that some who are frustrated and even saddened are feeling this way because marriage is the desire of their hearts.

God bless you for sharing these words on wisdom on this subject.

I've seen a lot of threads about hoping and praying that the women of LHCF get married. The Bible never insists that everyone be married. God has not promised every man and woman to be married. There's nothing wrong with praying to be married one day, but sometimes it seems like with all the threads in this forum, there are women here who are depressed, saddened, confused, or frustrated that they are not married yet. It's almost to the point that they would probably get mad at God for not blessing them with a man to marry. And that's not good. Plus, to face reality, God is not going to allow all of us to get married. God either says, "Yes", "No", or "Maybe" to answer our prayers. And we must be content with God's answer for each one of us. God also wants us to be happy as an unmarried person.

While we are unmarried, shouldn't our focus be more on the Lord rather than hoping for a man to get married to? Should we instead be praying to do God's will and purpose for our lives whether we are unmarried or not?

Here is what the Bible says about the advantages of being single:
“But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried cares for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord: But he that is married cares for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

I also wanted to say this...He never recommends that everyone stay single. Early in the chapter, he says that some must marry because of their desires. From a spiritual standpoint, a single man has more time to concentrate on spiritual matters. Of course, if one doesn’t use being single to spend more time in the work of the Lord, then this advantage goes away and there is no spiritual advantage to being single.
However, not everyone should be married. Not everyone wants to be married. Although that is what we were created for, it is hard to legitimately obey the command to be fruitful and multiply if one does not marry.


Just thought I would share...thoughts and comments are welcome....

 

[Mamita]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

ITAAAAAA Bunny

If you think about it, the woman being the weaker vessel is not supposed to struggle on her own

marriage is also two believers helping each other, in the faith, in the bedroom so they don't burn, it's a lot of things

If the man is the woman's head, a woman alone for the rest of her life is missing something.

Yes i believe thos thoughts of staying single independent etc... whatever it is is the enemy keeping people from something wonderful.

And if you're married to a fellow believer, there's nothing you will ever need, cause the two of you will have all the blessings in teh world if you both believe right of course.

I will say this about what Paul said, I think he means all that before you're married. it IS easier somehow to seek the Lord and get the Holy Ghost while you're single and THEN find another saved person to marry. If you seek the Lord after you're married, you have responsibilities you didn't have before when you were single.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

This is yet another evidence that there are "contradictions" in the scriptures. They're not really contradictions...but there are many meanings...on various different levels and apply to lives according to individual needs. I can certainly understand the celibate, single monastic life. I understand marriage as well. I tend to side with the 'be fruitful and multiply' as the most desired lifestyle. But for those called to 100% service to G-d, singlehood is probably better. Ministers have a different call and their successful marriages provide strength and encouragement to those they serve. But I like to look at Adam, he was lonely, so G-d made Eve.

For right now, I'm single raising children. I do desire a man of G-d but until I get one, I have to be happy and satisfied where I'm at for now. And having had an abusive marriage does not make me wish to rush into another. You have to be so very careful. Sometimes I enjoy that I don't have somebody lording over me. But then again, he shouldn't have in the first place...

 

[discobiscuits]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

i've always had Paul's attitude, that the best is to be unmarried but if one can't or chooses not to, then there is nothing wrong with it.

I also know that God does not choose mates for us, we choose for ourselves. Being married or unmarried is our choice and God honors whichever we choose. He will bless our union if we heed His instructions and warnings.

No matter what, women do not need to be married ever if they don't want to be weaker vessel or not, all humans were designed by God to be able to stand alone.

The word is clear that it is better for a man to be married than vice versa wives are supposed to be a good thing, a blessing, someone who has the tools to increase the man's productivity and enhance his life. No where in the word does it say that a husband is a good thing and that he is a helper ready and fit. Man is not supposed to be alone, women are 100% self-sustainable.

An unmarried woman is never missing anything. She always has her "covering" be it her father, or her pastor, but at all times her covering is Jesus.

We were designed to add to our husband's lives as wives but if men and women remain unmarried it is the best state to be in like Paul said.

 

[Ije4eva]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I believe that marriage is one the most natural things in the world. And as Bunny77 mentioned, it IS God's will for most of His children. I don't think there's anything strange about the fact that many women desire a husband because God Himself puts that longing in our heart so that we will pray towards it and prepare our hearts for that ministry. If marriage were as automatic as it used to be in the past, I doubt there would as many threads as there are about it, but since its not we find many women expressing their desire on here and talking about the struggles they've gone through and pain they've experienced due to the unmet desire.

The only thing I take issue with (as Poohbear mentioned) is the lack of contentment, but its something that you learn over time (for your own good). Even when God puts a desire in your heart its not because He wants your life to stop until it comes to pass. In the years that you're single its God's will that you live a joyful and fulfilled life with Him as your husband, provider and center of your universe. That doesn't change whether you have an earthly husband or not, so its best that you realize that and dedicate your life to His service while you're still unattached. JMO.

 

[Poohbear]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Great responses ladies!

 

[Laela]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Marriage is GOOD because it is of GOD, so I hope no one is getting this misconstrued.

I highly suggest reading a book like "Single, Married, Separated, & Life After Divorce" by Myles Munroe.

THERE IS A BIG difference between being SINGLE and being UNMARRIED. God CREATED us to be single, even when we are married. Being content with God is important, but just because a woman has the desire on her heart to get married doesn't mean she's not content with God. God hears and answers the prayers of his own, in his own time.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Poohbear in all honesty it is all about choice.

There are times when I read an article and it talks about "The Benefits" of marriage, and with that being said, yes, there are benefits to marriage. However, I am seeing some not all marriages called "fly by night" where married couples are not honoring their vows made before man and God. - Cheating, etc....

For me myself, my hearts desire is to marry I want more children and I want to honor and respect God so for me it is by choice. Being married comes with so much responsibility and that comes with the territory.

Being single I liked at times and other times I didn't. However, IMHO that if woman's "hearts desires" is to marry then I pray that God will grant her request.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

ITA with Bunny77!

The purpose of the marriage threads is to encourage and support those who desire to get married. We are living in a world (AA culture) that no longer value marriage. It's refreshing to stand in agreement with other believers and know that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's a blessing to read testimonies letting us know that we don't have to compromise and settle; but there are good men out there that have a heart after God. As believers we are supposed to encourage, support, and testify to one another so that our faith won't waver.

On the other hand, I understand your sentiments Poohbear. If a single woman doesn't know how to live on her own and be content with the Lord then she is setting herself up for disappointment. A man can't be your everything....

 

[yodie]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I think there are so many posts here about single women desiring to be married because that's simply where they are in their life. I'm single and I desire to be married. That's where my heart is, so that's what I post about, if there is a thread pertaining to marriage. Five or six years ago when I had no desire to be married, I didn't post about it.

God told us to be fruitful and multiply. We can, but aren't supposed to multiply out of wedlock, so I would imagine that we should be married.

God also said that he perfects EVERYTHING that concerns me. So, yes, I live a life of contentment serving the Lord, but there are things/issues that I take to the Lord. Example, I want healthier hair practices. I talk to the Lord about that and I post over in the hair forum. Same with exercise. I take my health to God and I post about that over in the health forum too. Just like an athlete that trains for the olympics. When coming off their off schedule, they get focused, leave the junk food alone and start getting focused. It's a transition. I feel like I'm transitioning, so my focus and disciplines have shifted.

I think it all depends on where a person is in their life, but I don't think the majority of the threads in the Christian forum are about marriage. Maybe we're just in a season right now where ladies that are desiring to be married, are coming together and expressing that. Nothing wrong with that! There will be another season and another topic may take the main stage.

I can only speak for myself. There were days when I was very happy and excited to be single and did not focus on being married. I travelled in those circles, with ladies who felt the same way during that season of my life. I'm still happy and excited, but marriage is in my heart. It's a natural transition FOR ME. Water seeks it's own level. I'm seeking dialogue (and studying- honestly) on issues of marriage.



Great thread.

 

[discobiscuits]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

it would be nice if it were God's will for us humans to be married but it is not His will in any way, shape or form. It is our choice and clearly stated so. If it were His will then he would choose our mates which he does not.

Our will is what is in charge here in the earth and God would never over rule that. Jesus taught his disciples how to pray in the misnomerd Lord's prayer "Your will be done in earth as it is in heaven". He taught us to pray that way because our will rules on earth not God's and we have to relinquish our will and give God's will permission to operate.

God set it up that way from day one of creation. Adam and Eve had free will and chose to rebel and sin ("through one man's sin"). Jesus has free will in his human form which is why he had to pray "if it be your will take this cup from me" and he relinquished his will to not suffer and die to His Father's will to save mankind (one man's obedience and sacrifice). At the tower of Babel, God confounded the languages because man has the authority in the earth that He cannot over ride and God said that anything man puts his mind to do cannot be stopped.

So as wonderful as it sounds and as much hope it may give some, it is not God's will for people to marry but he allows us to choose marriage and will honor it as it is not against his will. If it is marriage we want, God will grant that request.

 

[Laela]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Iit is not God's will for people to marry but he allows us to choose marriage and will honor it as it is not against his will. If it is marriage we want, God will grant that request.

 

[discobiscuits]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Genesis 2:18
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

That passage is in the word but that is not God's will for us to MARRY. He created a companion for Adam. Additionally, if people choose to incorrectly interpret that to mean it is God's will for us to marry, then in that context it is God's will for men to marry not for women to get a husband, but for a man to get a wife. The scriptures are replete with how a wife is a blessing not a husband. How a wife is a help meet not a husband. But the bottom line is mankind has free will which God's will cannot and will not override or that would make God a liar which He is not.

If that passage is incorrectly interpreted to mean that God's will is for us to be married, then Paul is a liar and should not have said that being unmarried is best and he should have obeyed his God and found a good thing, aka wife. He did not because Paul knew that it is not God's will for mankind to be married but instead is our choice.

Adam likewise could have chosen to reject Eve as his wife but she was still there as his companion so that he was not alone. The entire passage in context states that after God brought the animals to Adam, He realized none were equal to Adam to be a companion and Adam was alone (not lonely b/c God and Adam could communicate face to face). So God made a companion for Adam. Finally, Adam and Eve were never "married" per se.

 

[Crown]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Finally, Adam and Eve were never "married" per se.

I totally disagree!
Adam and Eve was married, in the presence of God! What a Pastor!

Gen 2.22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 2.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2.24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 2.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

 

[discobiscuits]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I totally disagree!
Adam and Eve was married, in the presence of God! What a Pastor!

Gen 2.22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 2.23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 2.24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 2.25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor.

depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.

in the context of what is quoted above. an individual man and individual woman chose to join themselves together instinctually, not by the guidance of God but with his permission knowing their created roles.

this was all pre-fall. post-fall, marriage and the wedding ceremony is a construct designed by mankind not God but it is honored by God because it goes hand in hand with the 10+ commandments and is not in conflict with His will or sinful.

 

[Prudent1]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

ITA with Bunny77!

The purpose of the marriage threads is to encourage and support those who desire to get married. We are living in a world (AA culture) that no longer value marriage. It's refreshing to stand in agreement with other believers and know that God will give us the desires of our heart. It's a blessing to read testimonies letting us know that we don't have to compromise and settle; but there are good men out there that have a heart after God. As believers we are supposed to encourage, support, and testify to one another so that our faith won't waver.

On the other hand, I understand your sentiments Poohbear. If a single woman doesn't know how to live on her own and be content with the Lord then she is setting herself up for disappointment. A man can't be your everything....

ITA . Pink Pebbles took the words "right out of my mouth". Especially with the bolded. God is to be first period. No husband, children, family, job, etc should ever be in his place in our lives. That may be why some are not ready for marriage at this time in their lives. God knows and he changes us little by little from glory to glory. God is a jealous God. He doesn't want anything taking his place in our lives. We have to learn to be content regardless to our circumstances. We must be thankful at all times. That is God's will.

 

[Mamita]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

1 Star here's what i get from you : God does not choose for us; that scriptures that mention men do not concern women (so what you think cause he told men not to lie with men, it means women can lie with women?); it's our choice; our will is what's in charge; we need to give God's will permission to operate? God cannot override our authority in the old testament, you don't believe in Adam and Eve as individuals, and they weren't really married cause she didn't have a bouquet and a dress and a pastor, and WE humans came up with marriage????

I don't know who you are or where you come from but we don't serve the same God i can tell you that right now. Some serve Allah, some serve Buddha, some serve a Catholic God. What your God does and doesn't do is not mine. so impossible to see eye to eye or even agree to disagree cause that's all completely wrong to me

Sorry I don't see how else to put it

 

[JinaRicci]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor.

depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.

in the context of what is quoted above. an individual man and individual woman chose to join themselves together instinctually, not by the guidance of God but with his permission knowing their created roles.

this was all pre-fall. post-fall, marriage and the wedding ceremony is a construct designed by mankind not God but it is honored by God because it goes hand in hand with the 10+ commandments and is not in conflict with His will or sinful.

You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). Their pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior.

With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it!

God could have created them at the same time and allowed them to just naturally gravitate towards each other but that's not what happened. God was so purposeful. Then He took it a step further- He used one of Adam's ribs. He could have just created a female from the dust of the earth like He did with Adam. But He didn't & Adam recognized that this woman was created just for him- recognized that she was part of him. (Gen 2:23) God made them one flesh!

How much more special & purposeful is that than random pairing or instinctual behavior? God not only allowed & guided that union, He orchestrated the whole thing. From designer to matchmaker to officiator and I guess He was also the wedding planner. And He worked quickly too- talk about efficiency!

We may have come up with wedding traditions & justice of the peace unions that still allow people to be officially married but God created marriage. He performed that first marriage ceremony between Adam & Eve and He is still the one blessing & joining people in marriage today. He is also still the best matchmaker ever- never random always purposeful.

 

[Poohbear]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I think there are so many posts here about single women desiring to be married because that's simply where they are in their life. I'm single and I desire to be married. That's where my heart is, so that's what I post about, if there is a thread pertaining to marriage. Five or six years ago when I had no desire to be married, I didn't post about it.

God told us to be fruitful and multiply. We can, but aren't supposed to multiply out of wedlock, so I would imagine that we should be married.

God also said that he perfects EVERYTHING that concerns me. So, yes, I live a life of contentment serving the Lord, but there are things/issues that I take to the Lord. Example, I want healthier hair practices. I talk to the Lord about that and I post over in the hair forum. Same with exercise. I take my health to God and I post about that over in the health forum too. Just like an athlete that trains for the olympics. When coming off their off schedule, they get focused, leave the junk food alone and start getting focused. It's a transition. I feel like I'm transitioning, so my focus and disciplines have shifted.

I think it all depends on where a person is in their life, but I don't think the majority of the threads in the Christian forum are about marriage. Maybe we're just in a season right now where ladies that are desiring to be married, are coming together and expressing that. Nothing wrong with that! There will be another season and another topic may take the main stage.

I can only speak for myself. There were days when I was very happy and excited to be single and did not focus on being married. I travelled in those circles, with ladies who felt the same way during that season of my life. I'm still happy and excited, but marriage is in my heart. It's a natural transition FOR ME. Water seeks it's own level. I'm seeking dialogue (and studying- honestly) on issues of marriage.



Great thread.

Thanks for sharing. I wasn't saying the majority of the threads in the Christian forum were about marriage. I just said there's a lot of threads about marriage. And I'm certainly not speaking against marriage because I too would like to get married one day as well. I think it's good that you have a balance of contentment in your life right now.

 

[Poohbear]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). Their pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior.

With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it!

God could have created them at the same time and allowed them to just naturally gravitate towards each other but that's not what happened. God was so purposeful. Then He took it a step further- He used one of Adam's ribs. He could have just created a female from the dust of the earth like He did with Adam. But He didn't & Adam recognized that this woman was created just for him- recognized that she was part of him. (Gen 2:23) God made them one flesh!

How much more special & purposeful is that than random pairing or instinctual behavior? God not only allowed & guided that union, He orchestrated the whole thing. From designer to matchmaker to officiator and I guess He was also the wedding planner. And He worked quickly too- talk about efficiency!

We may have come up with wedding traditions & justice of the peace unions that still allow people to be officially married but God created marriage. He performed that first marriage ceremony between Adam & Eve and He is still the one blessing & joining people in marriage today. He is also still the best matchmaker ever- never random always purposeful.

I agree. God created marriage and performed the first marriage with Adam and Eve. Weddings are something man-made in order to celebrate a lifelong commitment between a man and woman. Some people get married in the courthouse, at church, at home, outside, just different places. No matter what wedding traditions and practices go on today, God is still the one that joins a man and a woman in a true marriage. I think that's why we have so many divorces today because people get caught up in the wedding aspect of it all and leave out God.

 

[Crown]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

You know one of the things I just love about God is how He always has a plan with a purpose. Notice the difference in how God created the animals-all the living creatures of land, sea & sky (Genesis 1:20-25). Their pairing- male & female was instinctual behavior.

With man- first God created Adam and allowed him to name the animals, allowed him to notice that there was no mate for him (Genesis 2:20). Then God created Woman out of man (Gen 2:21-22). Eve was not an afterthought though-God didn't forget to make a female human. Maybe He just wanted Adam to notice that it was not good to be alone, to long for a suitable helper. How much more do we appreciate something once we've missed it!

God could have created them at the same time and allowed them to just naturally gravitate towards each other but that's not what happened. God was so purposeful. Then He took it a step further- He used one of Adam's ribs. He could have just created a female from the dust of the earth like He did with Adam. But He didn't & Adam recognized that this woman was created just for him- recognized that she was part of him. (Gen 2:23) God made them one flesh!

How much more special & purposeful is that than random pairing or instinctual behavior? God not only allowed & guided that union, He orchestrated the whole thing. From designer to matchmaker to officiator and I guess He was also the wedding planner. And He worked quickly too- talk about efficiency!

We may have come up with wedding traditions & justice of the peace unions that still allow people to be officially married but God created marriage. He performed that first marriage ceremony between Adam & Eve and He is still the one blessing & joining people in marriage today. He is also still the best matchmaker ever- never random always purposeful.

Thank you so much!
I am not fluent in English, I could not say this so perfectly.
Just adding that the disaster of our time about marriage, even between Christians, it's because we don't know or we don't take the time to listen to God.

 

[Crown]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

i see what u r saying, but that is not a wedding. they were married in the joined sense but not in the sense we use today. God was not in the role of the pastor.

depending on how geneisis is taught, and knowing that Adam and Eve were NOT the names of individual people but the word for Man and the word for woman that can be interpreted as the gender man and the gender woman coming together or an individual man and individual woman (neither named adam or eve) coming together as a couple.

in the context of what is quoted above. an individual man and individual woman chose to join themselves together instinctually, not by the guidance of God but with his permission knowing their created roles.

this was all pre-fall. post-fall, marriage and the wedding ceremony is a construct designed by mankind not God but it is honored by God because it goes hand in hand with the 10+ commandments and is not in conflict with His will or sinful.

Coming back just for you!
Mat. 19.4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, 19.5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? 19.6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. 19.7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 19.8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. 19.9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Thank you so much!
I am not fluent in English, I could not say this so perfectly.
Just adding that the disaster of our time about marriage, even between Christians, it's because we don't know or we don't take the time to listen to God.

What is your native language Crown?

 

[Crown]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

What is your native language Crown?

French!

 

[JinaRicci]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I forgot to answer the original post. You're right we should be content in God no matter what. Our focus should also be on God whether we're single or married. My prayers & the prayers that I see here are about asking God for His will to be done. We're also supposed to ask for what we want- the desires of our heart.

The frustration that we see with women in general- not just Christians is in part b/c of the state of marriages today. ITA with what Bunny said. Marriages are under attack yet people want to be married- look at all the online dating forums. We also sometimes try to do our own thing outside of God's will, including not having God at the center. But as Christians, we should realize that our marriages are not immune to the attacks that exist in the world. I think one of the purposes of marriage is also to bring us closer to God, to help perfect our characters.

 

[EbonyEyes]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I really love this thread! Excellent posts. Thank you Poohbear for posting your thoughts.

I have a couple thoughts. I apologize if they don't flow together.

In my young years, I've thought about whether it's in God's perfect will for some people not to be married. My hope is if that is indeed true (which I'm leaning towards a yes), those people would not have a strong, intense desire to be married and instead would have the desire to serve God wholeheartedly as a single person.

Now for the folks that really want to be married - It is promised in the Word that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will grant us the desires of our hearts. It is not promised that He will grant us the desires of our hearts instantly. There is also God's timing which is perfect but we as Christians struggle with accepting that timing with joy and contentment.

Regarding Paul's statement on marriage - I believe it is a sound opinion but wasn't a blanket "You should never get married" type statement. The Bible says that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Unfortunately, there are people today that not only leave their parents, but leave their common sense, wisdom, and even God Himself and cleave to their mates in an unhealthy way.

Paul had a serious calling on his life. And it's possible that he did not want to take any chances of messing that calling up and drawing away from God if he got married. I can't be sure where Paul's head was during the time he made that statement - Just a guess.

 

[Shimmie]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

I really love this thread! Excellent posts. Thank you Poohbear for posting your thoughts.

I have a couple thoughts. I apologize if they don't flow together.

In my young years, I've thought about whether it's in God's perfect will for some people not to be married. My hope is if that is indeed true (which I'm leaning towards a yes), those people would not have a strong, intense desire to be married and instead would have the desire to serve God wholeheartedly as a single person.

Now for the folks that really want to be married - It is promised in the Word that if we delight ourselves in the Lord, He will grant us the desires of our hearts. It is not promised that He will grant us the desires of our hearts instantly. There is also God's timing which is perfect but we as Christians struggle with accepting that timing with joy and contentment.

Regarding Paul's statement on marriage - I believe it is a sound opinion but wasn't a blanket "You should never get married" type statement. The Bible says that a man is to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife. Unfortunately, there are people today that not only leave their parents, but leave their common sense, wisdom, and even God Himself and cleave to their mates in an unhealthy way.

Paul had a serious calling on his life. And it's possible that he did not want to take any chances of messing that calling up and drawing away from God if he got married.

I can't be sure where Paul's head was during the time he made that statement - Just a guess.

Excellent guess.

 

[discobiscuits]

Re: So Many Threads on Hopes of Getting Married...What are your thoughts on Being Sin

Crown, thank you. However, those scriptures do not support the premise that God created "marriage" as it is known by mankind. Those scriptures are a reminder to us that the SPIRITUAL UNION of male and female is ordained and authorized and blessed by God and should not be tampered with by the couple or by outsiders. God does not choose mates for us and he does not marry us. He is not a spiritual or cosmic match-maker as so many hope, pray and think that He is. He created the state of a spiritual union between an individual male and an individual female (flesh and blood bodies which house immortal spirits) which was designed to be a permanent bond between the two. In that spiritual union, the humans have the freedom to express it physically without sin or shame.

"Marriage" is a man-made construct for legal reasons. A spiritual union of a man and a woman is outside of those limited boundaries. We do not need ministers to officiate ceremonies, vows, documents etc. to be joined in a God ordained holy union with another. Even a writ of divorce is for man-made legal reasons as the scriptures you cited explain.

There is a vast difference between the union that God ordained and the ones that man recognize.