Single lades:1 corinthians 7 lets discuss.

Hey Kally!:kiss: I can definitely relate to the scripture. Lemme read the whole thread so I won't be repeating a post.



Uh...RR...why are you having to defend yourself on this???:look:

I wish somebody would debate me bout marrying Boo.:clubu:

Hmmm, the pre-marital class at my church is a 6 week course in sheer spiritual biblical war. You leave that class like this :ohwell: but the goal is to make sure you're sure that you're marrying the person God has ordanied for your life. You want to debate, I'll PM you the syllabus.

I've said too much already today and will go sit down somewhere and shut up.
 
Please forgive me if I offend you in any way. That is truly not my hearts desire but you are thinking for yourself. God's plan for you life may be different than what you plan for your life. We must always remind ourselves that God is perfect and his timing is perfect. If you have the desire than its there for a reason. Let go and let God, at the end of the day we are responsible for applying the word to our lives. If I have it my way, I'm with you, I don't want to be 50 raising my children but I haven't given up on God. We place these limitations on our lives that God didn't intend for us. Honstely, what's wrong w/ being 50 with 20 year old children, do you think your life is going to be less than because of your age? One day at a time sista, one day at a time. You may be surprised at the power of God once you release yourself and honeslty apply God. Again, please don't take my statement harshly. I just remember a time in my life when I thought I was trusting God, but I wasn't. I was trusting God until my limitations were met and then I gave up. God is good and he hasn't forgotten you. His mercies are new everyday.

Hey Lady. No I am not offended in the least bit nor do I take it harshly. I value every post I get. You do raise good points.
 
A non-answer is not a denial!!!!!!!!! What signals say no? Just because He didn't answer in the time you felt He should? Worrying is not of God!!!!!!! You forget that He loves you and He knows your desires. It may not be you but God may be working something out on the other end. Would you rather receive what you want when you wanted it with God knowing it wasn't your time and at a point and stage when your husband wasn't ready and able to provide for a family or be the proper covering for you. Would you rather be in a position where you might suffer because God decided to just give you what you wanted when you wanted it. It's like baking a cake, would you eat a half baked cake or would you want one that fully baked, frosted, and oh-so delicious in your favorite flavor? I take the fully baked-favorite flavor please for $1,000 Alex. It is hard, exhausting at times, discouraging, especially when you see God moving in other people lives, but guess what. Marriage is to glorify Him!!!! Give it to Him and you stop worrying yourself over something that's already done for you. Keep loving God, keep putting Him first, keep doing what is right and before you know it, your blessing is going to pour down on you like nothing you've ever felt before. Smile, its already done.


I guess I read so much into things until I confuse myself. Everything you have said has really made me think. I guess I am just fed up with it all and when I don't get things when I want it, then I try to justify things
 
Hallelujah!!!!! In the name of Jesus, speak the truth!!!! A non answer is not a denial! Amen Jesus! Oh Lord, I'm about to start praising His name up in here!!!

I am not going to lie, I am one of those people who would rather decide to stay single instead of "waiting" for God to fulfill my desire to be married and RISK the chance that His answer will be no. I am a control freak! Letting God take control is painful for me to do!

Ladies, the devil wants us to focus on our present state!!! This will keep us from fulfilling God's will in the time He originally planned. My pastor said that the journey through the wilderness should have taken the Israelites about 3 months, instead it took 490 years??!?!?! Was that God's original plan? Heck no! But thank the Lord God He is patient with us! 2 Peter 3:9 says "The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you." Praise God for His faithfulness despite our faithlessness!!!

Ladies do you know what the Lord has shown me time and time again?! Many times in my life the Lord has seemingly said, "No" to me regarding a desire of mine. When I finally let go and accepted His will, BAM! The Lord shows up with the very thing that I wanted. I believe the Lord loves surprises and He loves to give us a testimony. The last time the Lord did this for me was with my current job. I'll try to be brief:


Well this story starts way back in November when I first saw the email for this job offer. It was to be a teacher in a deaf/hh program in a high school until the end of the school year. The current teacher was going on maternity leave. I sent my resume and cover letter to the teacher, she responded and said she would pass my info on to the dean. I was very excited. I don’t remember worrying about the fact that I didn’t have teacher certification (I'm currently earning my MA in Deaf Education). Anyway, the teacher quickly contacted me and basically made it seem as though they would hire me. Everything seemed to be in place. I was very excited and thrilled for this new experience. Then, the bad news rolled in… they could not hire me as a long term sub without me having certification. All my hopes and plans came to a screeching holt. But, after I threw a small pity party for myself, I accepted it and moved on with no hard feelings. I started looking on the dcjobs.com website and found substitute positions and afterschool positions at a charter school in DC. I decided I would apply there and a few other places.

Lo and behold one lazy January afternoon my phone rings. This lady asks me if I’m still interested in the position at the High School. I was like, why is she calling me back when I was already told I could not do it?? I informed her that I was told I could not accept the job because I don’t have certification. She said she was aware and basically it was difficult trying to find anyone who had the necessary qualifications. Of course I told her I was still interested. We both planned to have an interview the week I went back to VA. The following week I went to the school for an interview and a few days later I was informed that they wanted to hire me. The second part of the battle was that I am still a full time student so I would have some class conflicts with this job. I knew it was going to take a miracle for everything to work out and I was so ready and willing to accept disappointment from the Lord. Lo and behold, the Lord worked His miracle and I was able to take the classes I needed and accept the job offer. I almost felt guilty that the Lord gave me what I wanted and what was seemingly impossible. It's like He was saying, "did you think I would not give you the best?" It’s amazing is all I can say. You know, the Lord knew I wanted the job back in November and He could have given it to me at that time. But NOOOO!!!!!!!!! Jesus is in the miracle working/performing business and therefore He loves to work with impossible situations. But of course, there are no impossible situations with the Lord. Everything is just a situation for Him. I wonder how our faith would grow if we looked at it that way. How many times have we heard the “nothing is impossible with God” texts? Seriously, when we come to God with our wants, desires, wishes and hopes… do we come thinking we have to convince the One who CAN make it all possible? Do we come unsure and doubtful, anticipating a great big and thunderous, “NO! BE GONE!!” What kind of God do we serve? What kind of God do we think we serve? I imagine the Lord saying to Himself… “you know, I’m not gonna give my daughter the job so easily. I’m going to actually deny her the job- THEN bring it back when she least expects it, I love doing that- surprising my children. AND then, I’m going to give her the job that she (and many others) thinks she is unqualified for. AND then I’m going to allow her to have the job AND take the classes she wants to take.” Once again, God is in the miracle working business.

I BELIEVE we can miss out on God's blessings if we are not patient with Him and truly trust His timing. Even with this miracle under my belt, I still struggle with trusting God's timing. I know I need to fight my doubts with the word and in constant communion with God. Expecting Him to fulfill His promises is the other part of the battle- not just barely hoping. I know this is off topic to this thread but I feel we cannot truly be in the word and looking to grow from the word and learn from the word if we do not trust the word.

Wow that is a very inspiring blessing!!!.

I think you are right about the control issues. I have never thought of it that way, because come to think of it. I do have problem with things when I feel I am not in control. Its like I will find ways around the problem.

this whole week I have learned so much about myself everywhere around me. At home, work, here on this forum, and through others. I mean I thought I had it all figured out, but events have happened to me this week that really makes my see things differently. I know its God talking to me.
 
Hmmm, the pre-marital class at my church is a 6 week course in sheer spiritual biblical war. You leave that class like this :ohwell: but the goal is to make sure you're sure that you're marrying the person God has ordanied for your life. You want to debate, I'll PM you the syllabus.

I've said too much already today and will go sit down somewhere and shut up.


This class sounds interesting. What types of things did they say would make an ideal mate for one? I know I have wanted to marry a man who lives a life that honors God, then even thing else will fall in place.
 
This class sounds interesting. What types of things did they say would make an ideal mate for one? I know I have wanted to marry a man who lives a life that honors God, then even thing else will fall in place.

This class really broke down how to hear from God and know you're hearing from God and the things that keep us from hearing God. It helped you determine if you are called to marry and called to marry the person you are taking the class with. It also included group and individual assignments that detailed things you need to address prior to marriage. for example:

1. How long have you know your partner?
2. How did the two of you meet?
3. What is your best memory together?
4. What is your worse memory together?
5. What common interest do you share?
6. What level of physical activity and interaction should two people experience if are seriously considering marriage? What standards should be in place?
7. Do both of you agree on this standard? Is there any guilt associated with past physical interaction or involvement?
8. What place should the Lord play in your couple relationship and personal relationship? How do you keep the Lord first?
9. Does your couple relationship honestly reflect a closer walk with Jesus? Have you helped each other or hindered each other in maturing your relationship with Christ?
10. Do you have your parent’s approval?

Marriage expectations

  • In your own words define the word marriage?
  • What are the Biblical reasons for marriage?
  • Why do you want to get married?
  • List three future goals that you want to achieve might you get married?
  • What expectations might you have of this person if you decide to marry?
  • What are your general marriage expectations?
  • What expectations has your partner requested of you in marriage? Can you meet these expectations?


Couple Assesment

  • What one word best describes your relationship?
  • What one word would your partner use?
  • What are the strengths of your relationship?
  • What are the weaknesses of our relationship?
  • What have you done to strengthen the weak areas of your relationship?
  • What factors of you consider “key” to making a successful marriage?
  • What do you bring that will help make the marriage a success?
  • What does your partner bring that will help make the marriage a success?
  • What can a couple do to successfully prepare for a Christian marriage? (Be Specific)
 
This class really broke down how to hear from God and know you're hearing from God and the things that keep us from hearing God. It helped you determine if you are called to marry and called to marry the person you are taking the class with. It also included group and individual assignments that detailed things you need to address prior to marriage. for example:

1. How long have you know your partner?
2. How did the two of you meet?
3. What is your best memory together?
4. What is your worse memory together?
5. What common interest do you share?
6. What level of physical activity and interaction should two people experience if are seriously considering marriage? What standards should be in place?
7. Do both of you agree on this standard? Is there any guilt associated with past physical interaction or involvement?
8. What place should the Lord play in your couple relationship and personal relationship? How do you keep the Lord first?
9. Does your couple relationship honestly reflect a closer walk with Jesus? Have you helped each other or hindered each other in maturing your relationship with Christ?
10. Do you have your parent’s approval?

Marriage expectations

  • In your own words define the word marriage?
  • What are the Biblical reasons for marriage?
  • Why do you want to get married?
  • List three future goals that you want to achieve might you get married?
  • What expectations might you have of this person if you decide to marry?
  • What are your general marriage expectations?
  • What expectations has your partner requested of you in marriage? Can you meet these expectations?


Couple Assesment

  • What one word best describes your relationship?
  • What one word would your partner use?
  • What are the strengths of your relationship?
  • What are the weaknesses of our relationship?
  • What have you done to strengthen the weak areas of your relationship?
  • What factors of you consider “key” to making a successful marriage?
  • What do you bring that will help make the marriage a success?
  • What does your partner bring that will help make the marriage a success?
  • What can a couple do to successfully prepare for a Christian marriage? (Be Specific)

man thats sounds nice. right now I don't belong to a church when and if I do find a church for me. I will def see what kind of positive programs they have for singles.
 
man thats sounds nice. right now I don't belong to a church when and if I do find a church for me. I will def see what kind of positive programs they have for singles.

It was a great experience for me and my potential mate. It was a positive envoirnment filled with God fearing loving people who only wanted us to sincerely be led by God to make the right decision regarding our relationship. At this present time, he feels he hans't heard from God yet regarding the status of our relationship but as a Godly woman, I respect that and will continue to live my life, be happy with myself, and pray.
 
Talking about singleness, does anyone know what happened to the thread entitled something like "He who findeth a wife..."?:sad:

I also have another question: do ya'll think it's possible to find the mate God has for u at a time in your life when you don't have a strong relationship with God or even don't have one at all?
 
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Talking about singleness, does anyone know what happened to the thread entitled something like "He who findeth a wife..."?:sad:

I also have another question: do ya'll think it's possible to find the mate God has for at a time in your life when you don't have a strong relationship with God or even don't have one at all?

I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.

As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.

It gave him hope.

Fast forward and they're getting married in April. He said that her call was the turnaround for him. She's a good woman and I'm really happy for my friend.

I always think of that story when I hear people implying that you have to be in this perfect spiritual place before you're "ready" for God to send you a mate. I mean, not that I recommend being depressed and suicidal obviously, but my friend's story shows me that God can work in many different ways, shapes and forms... He desires to bless us beyond belief and while we should always be working to get closer to Him and live better lives, I don't believe that He will "punish" us by leaving us single just because we're struggling in other ways.
 
I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.

As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.

It gave him hope.

Fast forward and they're getting married in April. He said that her call was the turnaround for him. She's a good woman and I'm really happy for my friend.

I always think of that story when I hear people implying that you have to be in this perfect spiritual place before you're "ready" for God to send you a mate. I mean, not that I recommend being depressed and suicidal obviously, but my friend's story shows me that God can work in many different ways, shapes and forms... He desires to bless us beyond belief and while we should always be working to get closer to Him and live better lives, I don't believe that He will "punish" us by leaving us single just because we're struggling in other ways.
Thanks for bumping that thread Bunny:) I did a search for it and couldn't find it...

As for your reply to my second question, your friend's story is a great testimony:yep: Does he have a relationship with God now?

One of the reasons why I asked this question is because I have believed/believe that unless I'm at the place in my life where I put God first and seek Him in faith for all things I would not be able to fully discern/hear from God if someone I meet is the right person.
I don't believe what I'm talking about falls under "spiritual perfection"; I think see it more as: how am I going to avoid wasting my time with someone if I'm not a point where I'm secure enough in my faith and believe that I can hear from God regarding any topic...
 
If you desire to get married God will honor your request. The key is allowing God to give you the mate so both of you will LOVE the Lord. My understanding of this that single women will have more time to spend with God then married women. Married women must spread their time and her husband is the KING of the house. Relationships are very demanding and most men want and need their needs to be met which cause a women not to be able to spend as much time with God then when children come is may be less. She can however, incorportate her spriitual walk with her family but that will be as a group as oppose to one-on-one intimate but God understands because her plate is full. But to help this marrying someone who loves the LORD is key because they understand the imporance of praying together as a family and alone. Marrying women cannot spend alot of time with outisde ministries her home becomes her ministry. I think God wants both from us the best of us as singles that means devoting our time for Him and when we get married transfer some but not all of that to your family. I know some married women with spouse and children never have time even for themselves.
 
^^^While I definitely believe that we should use our single season to continue to build our relationship with the Lord, I still wonder about this interpretation.

I mean, yes, I know that the Biblical era was completely different, but most women in the Bible were married, and there didn't seem to be much concern about the fact that their personal one-on-one relationship with God would suffer. Really, I've never heard this point of view until recently, as a response to the growing number of single women who've been desiring marriage, but haven't had it happen.

I see marriage as a ministry. Raising children is a ministry. Creating a Godly family and more Godly members to do Kingdom work is a pretty awesome testament to one's relationship with the Lord.

I'm not saying that what married women can contribute is better than what single women can contribute or vice versa. We are all valued in the eyes of God. But I've never really gotten the idea that if a woman marries, she won't have as much time for the Lord.

I think the method in which she performs her Godly work will simply differ. And I know of many married women who say that their relationship with God became deeper when they married because they turned to Him so much in prayer for their husbands and children... when they were single, they were a lot more idle.

That's my alternate interpretation! :)
 
DISCLAIMER:This is my interpretation and my opinion only-
Somehwere it states, its better to marry than to burn with passion. If you feel you are called to be married, than there's nothing wrong with that. Some of us can quiet our sexual urges and desire for companionship and be fine with a life of singledom. Others do not have that desire. I think Paul was communicating that if you are single, its a good thing, you can commit yourself fully to the business of the Lord. If you marry, yes, your focus is on your husband and family and you can't devote the amount of time to the Lord as you did single, but that's not wrong either. Adam and Eve are our first examples of a marriage. God created marriage to glorify him. When married, you are to submit to a covering, your husband and provide for your household. I think its in Proverbs 31:10-31 describes a godly wife and her responsiblities. Also in Titus 2:5 it talks about more wifely characteristics. There's nothing to be discouraged about, everything God ordaines brings Him glory.

ITA with this. Not to start another thread but this is why Catholic priests do not marry. The truth is, when you marry your priority is your family, not that you love them more than you do God, but you have to devote a lot of time to them. A married woman can't get up and go evangelize the corners of the world if her husband can't come. A mother cannot let her breastfeeding stop to go talk to troubled women. I don't think the verse says it is a bad thing to marry, or you love your husband more than the lord.
 
I think that thread is still around... it was bumped the other day. I'll try to bump it again.

As for your second question, I'll give the example of my best male friend. He was struggling with depression, alcoholism and was considering suicide back in 2003 when he got a random call from a woman he'd dated five years ago.

It gave him hope.

Fast forward and they're getting married in April. He said that her call was the turnaround for him. She's a good woman and I'm really happy for my friend.

I always think of that story when I hear people implying that you have to be in this perfect spiritual place before you're "ready" for God to send you a mate. I mean, not that I recommend being depressed and suicidal obviously, but my friend's story shows me that God can work in many different ways, shapes and forms... He desires to bless us beyond belief and while we should always be working to get closer to Him and live better lives, I don't believe that He will "punish" us by leaving us single just because we're struggling in other ways.

Very very inspiring
 
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