SO and weddings w no +1

[LovelyLouboutin]

I can't get over your SO being exited about going to wedding of someone you're not close to lol. He must love a good wedding. Cute.

Lol he was excited about going to ATL. Not the wedding. Lol

I talked to him this weekend about it and I said we have a few options blah blah blah. He jokingly said "how bout not go" and I said "honestly I'm fine with that option". And he said "yea, if we're gonna spend this money then let's just do a romantic weekend to X YZ". I told him works for me!

 

[MizAvalon]

I recently encountered my first no +1 wedding...I decided not to go but when I saw the pics I noticed that she did allow some people to bring their significant others. Sooo I guess depending on the guest, they decided whether or not you could bring a guest!

Just about every bride does this. They say husbands and fiances only but of course make exceptions for certain people. Like I mentioned earlier, my cousin and her husband had that rule but did make a few exceptions.

But she did have tacky people asking her if they could bring their boyfriend/girlfriend that they had been dating for 5 minutes to her wedding. At $150 a head? I don't think so.

 

[tmhuggiebear]

When comes to etiquette, a +1 really should be extended to anyone in a relationship. She practiced poor etiquette, by not extending that invite and expecting you to travel a considerable distance alone.

That being said, I understand the need for cost and space saving. However, the bride should have adjusted her guest list accordingly to account for +1 and cost.

 

[FriscoGirl]

I recently encountered my first no +1 wedding...I decided not to go but when I saw the pics I noticed that she did allow some people to bring their significant others. Sooo I guess depending on the guest, they decided whether or not you could bring a guest!

This apparently is the rule Kimye is using. People.com is reporting that Brody Jenner is not attending the wedding, because his gf was not invited. The other Jenner brother will be in attendance with his wife.

You would think that Kimye would have made an exception for +1 for all family.

 

[LiftedUp]

When comes to etiquette, a +1 really should be extended to anyone in a relationship. She practiced poor etiquette

Actually that's not true:

If your relatives or friends are engaged to be married, their fiances (or fiancees) must be invited; their live-in romantic partners must be as well. However, if they are only dating, you need not invite their boyfriend or girlfriend.

....

Beware, many unmarried people find it tremendously upsetting to not be allowed to bring a date. Prepare them for the idea and pay careful attention to where the singletons sit during dinner.

http://www.marthastewartweddings.co...list/@center/272440/wedding-etiquette-adviser

You needn't invite every single person to your wedding with a guest. In fact, most couples today don't unless they have an unlimited budget. You should, however, include partners of the following people:

• Everyone who is married (even if you don't know their spouse)
• Couples who are engaged
• Couples who are living together
• Guests who have had a steady significant other for so long that it would seem awkward not to include their partners.

The last instance is a judgment call, but in most cases your gut will tell you what to do.


http://www.bridalguide.com/etiquett...edding-invitation-etiquette/who-gets-plus-one

But it's not a hard-fast rule that you have to attend every single wedding that you're invited to. If it is that important to bring your SO, then don't go.

 

[ThickHair]

So are you going or what?

I don't take issue with what the bride is doing since everyone has the right to decline an invitation.

 

[tmhuggiebear]

Actually that's not true: But it's not a hard-fast rule that you have to attend every single wedding that you're invited to. If it is that important to bring your SO, then don't go.

Thanks. It's actually very confusing because there are a lot information out there. But it really is poor etiquette not to invite each person in a relationship with a plus one. I know because I write about weddings for a living in national magazines such as the knot and bridal guide. A d according to Emily post and miss manners who are etiquette experts, it is in poor taste to not extend invited to SO. However, most people don't know that so the opposite is usually done and most people just accept it.

 

[CurliDiva]

Many of my single friends already told me that they are coming solo, I'm not stopping folks from bringing a SO but I also hate the idea of folks feeling pressured to dug up a date or having random people at my wedding that I've never met.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

So are you going or what?

I don't take issue with what the bride is doing since everyone has the right to decline an invitation.

We're not going to go.

 

[fluffyforever]

... and next month there is a wedding in NY that I gave him a heads up about (we can't go cause the RSVP got full before everyone replied to their invitation) and now this. :-/

Is this normal to over-invite guests? I'm making my guest list and assuming non married or dating folk are bringing a +1. I want to keep it under 100 people but I don't want to send out an invite just to rescind the invitation.

Would it be better to just send invitations in waves or just not send invitations to a number of people?

 

[naturalmanenyc]

People in relationships get +1. Everyone else is solo. I'm irritated years later over a random date all up in our photos. I had to jump through hoops to get him an invite with his name on it so he could get the day off work. He didn't get calligraphy but still, wasted a gorgeous invite and postage (not hand cancelled) for a dude she dumped shortly afterward. And he didn't bring a gift or card.

 

[CurliDiva]

I got shade (and called "anti-kids") which I avoided because I do not intend to invite a family member's boyfriend FIVE kids! Correction, only one of these "kids" are under the age of 18 and the rest would just be free-loading, open-bar drinking, non-gift giving adults who are NOT related to me!

 

[GeorginaSparks]

Is this normal to over-invite guests? I'm making my guest list and assuming non married or dating folk are bringing a +1. I want to keep it under 100 people but I don't want to send out an invite just to rescind the invitation.

Would it be better to just send invitations in waves or just not send invitations to a number of people?

Some people dont like the idea of being a B or C list invite.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

So I told my friend that unfortunately I couldn't make it.

She asked if its because if my bf then they should know about the guest numbers in about a week.

Today she fb messages me and says that they have room and my bf is welcome to come.

At this point the wedding is 2 weeks away. I'm not paying crazy last minute prices for hotel and flight.

How do I tell her I still can't come? Help!

 

[Naveah2050]

So I told my friend that unfortunately I couldn't make it. She asked if its because if my bf then they should know about the guest numbers in about a week. Today she fb messages me and says that they have room and my bf is welcome to come. At this point the wedding is 2 weeks away. I'm not paying crazy last minute prices for hotel and flight. How do I tell her I still can't come? Help!

Say you already made other plans with family which you can't break. She should have thought of that before expecting you to fly out there with no plus ones and now she wants you to pay ridiculous air and hotel rates for her big day! No sir

 

[SamandI]

Lol!! How rude!

 

[LiftedUp]

Thank her for trying to accommodate you and explain that the last minute fares are very high and unfortunately you would no longer be able to make it.

 

[MizAvalon]

Thank her for trying to accommodate you and explain that the last minute fares are very high and unfortunately you would no longer be able to make it.

Exactly. Just say this. She'll be ok.

 

[Holla]

Thank her for trying to accommodate you both and explain that the last minute fares are very high for the both of you to attend and unfortunately you would no longer be able to make it together.

added something

I would emphasize in my reply that neither my significant other nor I will be able to attend. She's practically putting him on the "C" guest list after she received many X amount of cancellations. She probably already paid for the space and catering so she is trying to fill seats at this point.

 

[SamandI]

added something I would emphasize in my reply that neither my significant other nor I will be able to attend. She's practically putting him on the "C" guest list after she received many X amount of cancellations. She probably already paid for the space and catering so she is trying to fill seats at this point.

Exactly! She's just trying to fill up empty chairs at this point. Very rude.

 

[LiftedUp]

I hardly think that with 250 guests she is trying to fill seats. She will just give +1s to 2 more people . I cannot be mad if someone has to choose between 250 people that they want to be there versus having 125 persons that they do not know .

 

[Menina Preta]

I hardly think that with 250 guests she is trying to fill seats. She will just give +1s to 2 more people . I cannot be mad if someone has to choose between 250 people that they want to be there versus having 125 persons that they do not know .

Right...Certain people are getting +1s for SOs who I don't know or for "guests" b/c they're very very close friends (this is less than 5-10 people tops btw me and FH). Fortunately, I know most of my friends' SOs. However, for my dear friends who have a new SO every 3-6 months, they're going to have to roll dolo. #sorrynotsorry

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

So I just responded with:


"Hey! Sorry for the delayed reply its been a crazy weekend/week.

Thank you so much for trying to accommodate us. We checked prices and we can't do the last minute fares.

I'm so sorry that I won't be there to see you, but, I'm looking forward to seeing pictures and the video!"

Her response was "lol,ok. No prob"

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

So the wedding is this weekend. I was feeling a little sad then I saw something she posted that made me snap out of it.

She posted one of her bridal party gifts: personalized wine for her bridal party.

My side hustle: wine consultant or a napa valley winery. We offer personalized wine.

When she first got engaged I me ruined it to her that it would be a great bridal party gift or if she is supplying the wine for the wedding I could get her a discount.

Did she order from me: No

Smh over it.

 

[Menina Preta]

So the wedding is this weekend. I was feeling a little sad then I saw something she posted that made me snap out of it.

She posted one of her bridal party gifts: personalized wine for her bridal party.

My side hustle: wine consultant or a napa valley winery. We offer personalized wine.

When she first got engaged I me ruined it to her that it would be a great bridal party gift or if she is supplying the wine for the wedding I could get her a discount.

Did she order from me: No

Smh over it.

Perhaps she forgot that's what you do? Or felt awkward about asking for a discount?

I feel like wedding planning is overwhelming and it's hard to keep track of who offered what in terms of help. Annddd you may not want to impose on the person by actually taking the up on their offer.