SO and weddings w no +1

[LovelyLouboutin]

So, I was just talking to one of my friends who is getting married in Sept. I didn't have my save the date info with me at work so I messages her asking the date because I wanted to jump on the Frontier airlines sale.


She telling a me the dates. I excitedly told her the price of two plane tickets then says "+1?" And I said "yes, my bf and I". And she goes "sooo we aren't doing plus ones...our numbers are tight....we are only doing plus ones for engaged and married people that's how people have been doing it at the weddings I've been going to....depending on the rsvps we may be able to accommodate him but we won't know until the end of July....he's more than welcome to the church but the reception is the issue...capacity is 250"

Sighhhhh now I have to tell my bf (who was actually excited about going) that I don't have a +1 and as of now he can't come.

 

[chicitygirl]

I used to feel the same way until I planned my own wedding. It sucks, but you understand and sympathize a bit more when you plan a wedding and see what things cost per head and/or have space limitations. It could come down to giving you a plus one or having a family member or another close friend attend. Will you know any other people there?

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I used to feel the same way until I planned my own wedding. It sucks, but you understand and sympathize a bit more when you plan a wedding and see what things cost per head and/or have space limitations. It could come down to giving you a plus one or having a family member or another close friend attend. Will you know any other people there?

I will know the bride and maybe 1 other person (not friends and not social with her but I know her by face because our time overlapped at law school).

 

[gabulldawg]

I think that is very inconsiderate. I probably just wouldn't go to the wedding. This is why I didn't have a wedding. I'd hate to cut corners like this just because I couldn't afford it.

 

[jamaicasmodona]

I used to feel the same way until I planned my own wedding. It sucks, but you understand and sympathize a bit more when you plan a wedding and see what things cost per head and/or have space limitations. It could come down to giving you a plus one or having a family member or another close friend attend. Will you know any other people there?

This was my issue when we had our wedding. It worked out and we were able to accommodate all our friends and close family with +1. Why, I don't get along with some of my family, and whoever I didn't get along with, didn't get invited.
They didn't like it, but why should I invite you knowing how we feel about each other??

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

I think that is very inconsiderate. I probably just wouldn't go to the wedding. This is why I didn't have a wedding. I'd hate to cut corners like this just because I couldn't afford it.

I'm gonna run it by my bf I will let him make the decision. We can both not go or go and just do the church wedding and not the reception. I'm ok with either option.

Btw I'm ale easing young to a wedding in Jamacia next month(which he isn't accompanying me to), and next month there is a wedding in NY that I gave him a heads up about (we can't go cause the RSVP got full before everyone replied to their invitation) and now this. :-/

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

If anything il just say I can't afford to go my myself.

She is exercising her right to save money by not having plus ones for people and I have a right not to spend $500+ on someone's wedding.

 

[LiftedUp]

It seems normal to not have +1s lately unless the couple is married... not even engaged.

It doesn't bother me.

 

[Lucie]

I am not sure if I would go. I understand costs are high but I just would not do something if a person could not do a +1. But she is your friend and I know you want to be there. It's up to you how your proceed OP. Good luck.

 

[pre_medicalrulz]

Take him anyway & the both of you go to the church. When it's time for the reception then the both of you go back to the hotel and have 'couples' time or do something else to enjoy your stay.

 

[lux10023]

exactly---furthermore--how does anyone plan a wedding and not consider that any guest of a certain age will have a plus 1..***

i wouldn't go...and would send a gift...

if you can not afford to have a wedding and include a person/friend/sibling and their partner then dont---thats all...

If anything il just say I can't afford to go my myself.

She is exercising her right to save money by not having plus ones for people and I have a right not to spend $500+ on someone's wedding.

 

[MizAvalon]

Well, I can see her point. My cousin did the same with her wedding and only let engaged and married people bring a +1. Some folks were upset but she wasn't spending an extra 8k so people could bring random dates.

Weddings are expensive y'all. Some people just aren't going to be able to be invited.

 

[Mortons]

I have never heard of nor been to a non +1 wedding. That is extremely odd to me as I would automatically count guests as a couple or assume they want a companion. I would just go to the church wedding and give a reduced gift

 

[loved]

I thought it was routine/normal to limit plus ones to engageds/marrieds when money/space are an issue. However, I wouldn't go through the expense and time of traveling to a wedding where I would be alone without a companion & not part of some group that I have in common with the couple.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

It seems normal to not have +1s lately unless the couple is married... not even engaged.

It doesn't bother me.

Agree

Well, I can see her point. My cousin did the same with her wedding and only let engaged and married people bring a +1. Some folks were upset but she wasn't spending an extra 8k so people could bring random dates.

Weddings are expensive y'all. Some people just aren't going to be able to be invited.

Exactly

I thought it was routine/normal to limit plus ones to engageds/marrieds when money/space are an issue. However, I wouldn't go through the expense and time of traveling to a wedding where I would be alone without a companion & not part of some group that I have in common with the couple.

Yup just dont go.

Weddings are expensive i dont see the point of paying $80 PP for someone the bride doesnt know and you're not married or engaged to him. I dont see the issue.

You dont have to go. Just send a gift. I feel bad for the bride because she was put in an uncomfortable position by having to tell you that you dont have a +1.

 

[snoop]

As much as I'd love to bring a +1 if I were single, I understand the reason for not being allowed to bring one. On the other hand, the fact that your attendance requires a plane ride makes me feel like maybe an allowance should be made?

I was put in a similar situation where I was invited to a wedding in Europe in a country I'd never been to. There was a slim chance of me going, but it was made even slimmer when I was told that I couldn't bring a guest. I couldn't see myself hanging out in another country for a week knowing only the bride who would obviously be busy doing her own thing preparing. I kindly declined and sent a gift instead.

 

[chanjune80]

LovelyLouboutin Do you consider her to be one of your good or best friends?

 

[nlamr2013]

you all don't seem close. Why did she even invite you?

 

[kaykari]

I dont know if I would go since you only know the Bride, especially since its an out of town wedding.

 

[LovelyLouboutin]

LovelyLouboutin Do you consider her to be one of your good or best friends?

Not really. I was actually surprised at the invite. We were closer during school. My last year in law school I studied at the main campus library and she studied there. We always say at the same table. Chatted, hung out a couple of times. After school she moved for her residency. We've barely kept in contact. Few texts here and there and few comments on FB.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

you all don't seem close. Why did she even invite you?

Gift grabbing.

 

[Naveah2050]

I wouldn't go - end of. Flights and no plus one when I know no one else there?! Hell no.

 

[PeaceFlow]

I can't get over your SO being exited about going to wedding of someone you're not close to lol. He must love a good wedding. Cute.

 

[ellegantelle]

I would send a gift and a card and call it a day. You guys aren't close-close friends and her rejecting your +1 doesn't make it any better.

I think when it comes to the ONLY fiances and husbands being invited, if I was the bride I would have to make certain exceptions. Two of my closest friends and my fiances best friend have been with their SOs for 5+ years, we are technically doing only fiances and husbands but we are obviously going to invite their SOs as well.

If you and your boyfriend have been together for a while and she knew about your relationship, I think the "+1 rules" could've been bent (maybe more so if you and her were closer).

 

[MRJ1972]

I recently encountered my first no +1 wedding...I decided not to go but when I saw the pics I noticed that she did allow some people to bring their significant others. Sooo I guess depending on the guest, they decided whether or not you could bring a guest!

 

[InsertCleverNameHere]

I would give all single people a +1 if they were invited. I'd just have to shorten my guest list in other ways.

If I really want you to be there, I want you to be comfortable and enjoy yourself. I'd rather have fewer people that I love have a great time with a +1 than expanding the list to people I'd end up having alone and sitting at the table looking cross.

 

[deltagyrl]

Gosh.
You're not close friends, she wants you to travel solo AND bring a gift?
I wouldn't go.
Gift is questionable.

 

[sky_blu]

If I knew I wasn't going to know anyone at the wedding I wouldn't go if I couldn't bring my boyfriend, but I definitely understand. During my cousin's wedding ppl who RSVP'ed didn't show up (2 complete tables) that they had to pay for. Weddings cost $$ and I wouldn't want to pay ppl I didn't know.

 

[gabulldawg]

I recently encountered my first no +1 wedding...I decided not to go but when I saw the pics I noticed that she did allow some people to bring their significant others. Sooo I guess depending on the guest, they decided whether or not you could bring a guest!

TACKY.

 

[cutiebe2]

it sounds like its not only a money issue but a space issue. She said the venue has a 250 limit. Sounds like she has a big family and she doesn't want to compromise them not being there. She did say that if more space fills up your BF could come.