SO and Weave....what to do?
- Thread starter ricaross
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IntelligenceisBeautiful
New Member
compromise maybe, wear weaves sometimes, wear your hair out other times?
Maynard
Well-Known Member
My SO hates weaves too...
He told me on like our 3 or 4th date he wasn't feeling them....
I slowly ( I mean sloooooooooooooooowly) stopped wearing them b/c I was somewhat attached to my weave.
Now I dont wear any at all. He's happy, I'm happy. I will get one if I want, but I know it makes him happy, so I try to do without.
He told me on like our 3 or 4th date he wasn't feeling them....
I slowly ( I mean sloooooooooooooooowly) stopped wearing them b/c I was somewhat attached to my weave.
Now I dont wear any at all. He's happy, I'm happy. I will get one if I want, but I know it makes him happy, so I try to do without.
caltron
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't be able to give up my weaves or braids for my SO. My own hair is fairly long and healthy, but since I workout regularly, it just isn't practical for me to wear my own hair. I sweat quite a bit during my workouts, so I haven't yet found a low maintenance way to wear my own hair. I could keep it very short, but I'm too vain to do that. My SO would just have to deal with it, because I'm not giving up my workouts or cutting my hair or spending hours on it each day.
glamazon386
Well-Known Member
Tell him go to hell. 
J/K. I mean you've been wearing it this whole time, so why is he just bringing it up now? Did you have it when you guys met? Also, ask him if it ws the other way around would he be willing to change something about himself, should you ask. If he said no, I wouldn't do it. If so, maybe you could compromise. Maybe wear them sometimes.
ETA: If it was my SO, I'd do whatever I damn well please. But that's just me.
J/K. I mean you've been wearing it this whole time, so why is he just bringing it up now? Did you have it when you guys met? Also, ask him if it ws the other way around would he be willing to change something about himself, should you ask. If he said no, I wouldn't do it. If so, maybe you could compromise. Maybe wear them sometimes.ETA: If it was my SO, I'd do whatever I damn well please. But that's just me.
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CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
Look thru some magazines with him and ask him to point out the models or celbs that he likes their hair - 9 times out of 10 - it will be fake hair of some sort. If he mentions Bey, Tyra, Janet, Ciara, Rihana and any of the top 10 at any given moment- chances are we are wearing a weave or wig.
Try to find out what he dislikes - maybe it is a certain "unbeweaveble" color, texture or length and then COMPRISE! Explain that you can wear a weave that looks very natural while you grow out your hair.
Try to find out what he dislikes - maybe it is a certain "unbeweaveble" color, texture or length and then COMPRISE! Explain that you can wear a weave that looks very natural while you grow out your hair.
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***Toy-Pisces***
New Member
I like this idea.My SO wants me to wear my own hair and it actually turned into a big discussion. I explained to him why I wanted to wear a weave. I told him it was a protective style and I wouldn't wear them forever. He then decided to let me do what ever makes me happy. He loves me for me and we came to an agreement. As long as my hair looks good and is done correctly, he doesn't mind the weave.
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meaganita
New Member
Hey gal, I've been there before. Maybe the weaves don't really bother him, but he's just saying they do because he's tired of 'em and wants to see your real hair? Sometimes they start getting paranoid wondering if you have any hair.
erplexed
***Toy-Pisces***
New Member
Hey gal, I've been there before. Maybe the weaves don't really bother him, but he's just saying they do because he's tired of 'em and wants to see your real hair? Sometimes they start getting paranoid wondering if you have any hair.
True!
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Suerte
New Member
I agree with whoever made that paranoia statement.
I know my guy friends and cousins like to see a woman's real hair so they know how long it is, what texture it is, if it smells good, etc.
It's weird cuz the guy I'm in a ...situation... with, he used to bug the hell outta me to see my real hair and for me to not wear wigs and weaves... but once he found out that I had my own healthy nice hair... the next time I had a wig on he didn't say not a thang.
I know my guy friends and cousins like to see a woman's real hair so they know how long it is, what texture it is, if it smells good, etc.
It's weird cuz the guy I'm in a ...situation... with, he used to bug the hell outta me to see my real hair and for me to not wear wigs and weaves... but once he found out that I had my own healthy nice hair... the next time I had a wig on he didn't say not a thang.
PinkSkates
New Member
I have to agree with Meaganita, they do get paranoid and start wondering if you're lying about your real hair. When I was growing my hair out, I wore sew-in weaves. But every 6 weeks, I would have it taken out and wear my real hair for a week before having a fresh sew-in installed, and it made hubby so happy to be able to see and play in my real hair for that week. So maybe you should treat him and let him see your real hair from time to time; you know... pacify him.
Suerte
New Member
MiamiHottie
Well-Known Member
My So was the same way when I met him...I was just starting college and I was into all types of colors but then I turned it down to just blacks and browns. He like it as long as it looks real. Are your weaves obviously fake? I mean if you had some tracks in it would he mind?
Danene5
New Member
My SO hates weaves as well. I thought that he was going to pull it out one day because he said that if he ever thought that I had a weave in he would. The day came when I decided to have a sew in. He never noticed the difference because it was only 2 inches longer than my natural hair. He pulled and yanked on it and said "I knew that you didn't have a weave in your hair". Good thing it didn't hurt. He always said that he could tell the difference, now I know that he can't. So I still get a sew in from time to time.
Blackoutzangel05
New Member
Okay personally, I would have to tell him that I was wearing them the whole time..that is how he met me and I am not going to simply give them up because he doesn't like them. I would be willing to find out what it is about them that he doesn't like and see if I can alter that and come to some sort of compromise. Maybe he just wants to see your real hair and if that is the case then I would take my weave out and then wear my hair for a week or so and then back to weave. If you are wearing them to grow your real hair then explain that to him. Help him see why you like your weaves.
BackToMyRoots
Happy
My SO hates weaves with a passion. I am on the phone with him right now, and told him i was getting a weave tomorrow. You'd think I told him I wanted to be a career criminal. He's like, "what brought this on?" What type of weave? Then he went quiet. I let him out of his misery and let him know is was joking. I've worn weaves but I stopped shortly after we got together. I didn't like the effect on my hair, and hated the shedding all over the place, i hated the itching, so since he like my hair just the way it was, it was easy to give up and let go. A wig is a different story though. There might be one in my future really soon. 
SouthernTease
New Member
Hmmm... yeah most men I know don't care for them
but they don't even know it's a weave until you
tell them or something.... they don't know what they want.
but they don't even know it's a weave until you
tell them or something.... they don't know what they want.
glamazon386
Well-Known Member
Exactly. Do y'all know how many times I got the I hate weave speech and then the
face when I told them my hair was weave. 
As long as it looks natural, most of them can't tell anyway. And I've found that as long as my hair looked nice, they didn't really care.chocostudent
New Member
Daisimae
Member
When DH was my SO he told me he hated wigs, weaves AND hair color. I just let him talk. After all this time, I've been guilty on all three counts at one stage or another. I wore a weave, (my last), on our wedding day and thru our honeymoon. He was far from complaining.
My avatar and siggy should take care of examples of the other two.
My avatar and siggy should take care of examples of the other two.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
DH *thinks* he knows what's what. But he doesn't.
He used to
my relaxed hair that was a little past SL. Especially when I'd let him comb it... he was so gentle. He loved the smell of castor oil in it and he bought me my flat iron as a gift.
BUT THEN.... I BC'd (dun-dun-DUN) and I wore a TWA, and then a BAA. I had no time to style my hair. I just washed it, combed it out and let it be. I did this for about 10 months.
When I finally got some C&G braids in, you would have thought I was Beyonce for all he loved my hair! I could have sported a Cousin It wig, gotten rainbow weave, or whatever, so long as my hair wasn't in that
anymore!!!!!
But he doesn't. He used to
my relaxed hair that was a little past SL. Especially when I'd let him comb it... he was so gentle. He loved the smell of castor oil in it and he bought me my flat iron as a gift. BUT THEN.... I BC'd (dun-dun-DUN) and I wore a TWA, and then a BAA. I had no time to style my hair. I just washed it, combed it out and let it be. I did this for about 10 months.
When I finally got some C&G braids in, you would have thought I was Beyonce for all he loved my hair! I could have sported a Cousin It wig, gotten rainbow weave, or whatever, so long as my hair wasn't in that
anymore!!!!! you ladies are too funny. That's why i love this board so much ( even though i hardly ever post).
I don't even know how we got on this topic, but basically he hates that we (as black women) feel the need to wear fake hair ( his words were other ppls hair) as if its our own.
I can understand where he is coming from, but my whole thing is, he doesnt have to do all the work that we have to do just to get ready to go anywhere and i've been wearing weaves longer than i've known him.
I don't even know how we got on this topic, but basically he hates that we (as black women) feel the need to wear fake hair ( his words were other ppls hair) as if its our own.
I can understand where he is coming from, but my whole thing is, he doesnt have to do all the work that we have to do just to get ready to go anywhere and i've been wearing weaves longer than i've known him.
chocostudent
New Member
My thing is you were wearing a weave when he met you. Why complain about it now? This reminds me of situations where men meet women at bars or clubs, and later insist that they stop partying. Well you didn’t meet her at the library or Christian Tabernacle. So what did you expect?
gone_fishing
New Member
Well depending on the depth of your relationship, I'd say my man is more important than a weave. I would at least TRY to compromise with him.
I may have a little attitude about him asking me to change what I've always done.
That's like (not saying you're a stripper) but meeting a stripper at a club, making her your girl then demanding that she not strip anymore.
Ok bad example.
Anyway, I agree with someone else that said maybe it's a certain style he doesn't like. Maybe you could come to a compromise?
I may have a little attitude about him asking me to change what I've always done.
That's like (not saying you're a stripper) but meeting a stripper at a club, making her your girl then demanding that she not strip anymore.
Ok bad example.
Anyway, I agree with someone else that said maybe it's a certain style he doesn't like. Maybe you could come to a compromise?
gone_fishing
New Member
DH *thinks* he knows what's what.
He used to
BUT THEN.... I BC'd (dun-dun-DUN) and I wore a TWA, and then a BAA. I had no time to style my hair. I just washed it, combed it out and let it be. I did this for about 10 months.
When I finally got some C&G braids in, you would have thought I was Beyonce for all he loved my hair! I could have sported a Cousin It wig, gotten rainbow weave, or whatever, so long as my hair wasn't in that
hahaha that's so funny.
glamazon386
Well-Known Member
I am thinking about compromising, erplexed but it's not like the style is extreme. It's just a little past shoulder lenght with a bang. But, he feels that if it is already a little past shoulder lenght then why not wear your own hair.
So I dunno, I typically only wear my hair for a few days until some type of weave is back in it, but he wants me to go a month.
erplexed but it's not like the style is extreme. It's just a little past shoulder lenght with a bang. But, he feels that if it is already a little past shoulder lenght then why not wear your own hair. So I dunno, I typically only wear my hair for a few days until some type of weave is back in it, but he wants me to go a month.
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