*Sighs* I need a Therapist and a Couch......

MzK

MzK

New Member
Hi Guys,

Though I'm still a newbie, I'm already having issues with my hair.

Yesterday, I took out my kinky twists, and seperated/detangled my hair prior to washing. Afterwards, I did a clarifying (WASHED ONCE!), used my moisturizing shampoo 3 times, did a (light) protein treatment, washed out, did a DEEP CONDITIONING, then washed out to style.

:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono:​


My hair was so matted, to the point where I was ripping it out...so...my mother and I @ 2am, started cutting all the matted hair.

It's a LOT shorter (nl/barley sl) than what I'm used to.

I just want to know what I did wrong....and how can I fall in love with my natural hair underneath--because right now, though I'm not going back to relaxers-- I'm hating it.:crying3::cry:

I (think) my texture is a 4-something. What can I do? Plz help.

Thanks. :)
 
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Don't cry. Sorry this happened to you :bighug:


So you washed your hair a total of 5 times? Once while clarifying, 3 times with a moisturizing one and once after your DC?

I'm not a pro by any means, and I'm still a newbie myself but I don't think our hair should be washed that many times in one sitting. I *think* that may have been the problem.

Hopefully someone will jump in with a regimen or suggestions that will help.
 
Sorry this happened to you.
But I read this and thought you clarified and then you shampooed?! And you shampooed 3x?!
A valuable lesson I've learned from this forum is that you don't need to shampoo more than once...EVER. Plus if you've clarified your hair should be clean and there shouldn't be a need for another shampoo no matter how moisturizing you think it is. After a clarifier its time to condition.

Sounds like you may have just done too much to your hair while it was pretty fragile to begin with....
 
Sounds like way to much washing. You only need to wash once and concenterate on your scalp only. The run off from the suds and the conditioner will clean yor strands . You hair is probably striped from all that shampoo, even the moisturizing poos can dry you out.
 
How did you wash it? The way you wash your hair could have contributed to that also. When I wash mine, I let it hang straight down, apply the soap to the scalp and let the soap work its way down the length instead of scrunching it up all together.
 
That seemed like a tremendous amount of shampooing! I stopped using shampoo years ago and my hair is much more manageable without it. I think shampoo is the devil - and using it 5 times on the same day may have sent your hair to hades. Then combining that with protein is probably what made your hair hard.

Have you tried soaking in oils? Maybe you can get your newgrowth softened up enough to detangle without breakage. Sorry to hear about your setback.
 
Im sorry this happened to you. I would suggest next time skipping the protein treatment and clarifying shampoo and concentrate on moisturizing your hair. Afterwards look to see what condition your hair is in and determine if a protein treatment is necessary. You can do the protein treatment the next time you wash your hair. I would also recommend protein treatment before putting your braids in your hair. HTH
 
It's not the protein treatments. It was your overuse of the 'poo. I know when you take out any braided style your hair seems to be extremely dirty but never over-wash in one setting. If anything, you could have clarified once, deep conditioner, etc. then co-wash another day. You did waaaay too much.
 
Cosigning with the previous posters, that was definitely far too much shampoo. Each shampoo removes moisture from the hair, allowing it to break easier when manipulated. Clarifying should only be necessary every 1-2 months if you are heavy-handed with leave ins and/or using cones.

To combat/balance out the drying from that many shampoos, you would probably have needed to do a moisturising DC for a looong time (maybe with heat or steaming), and definitely just rinsing that out, not following your DC with another shampoo :nono:.

Also I greatly recommend washing in sections which prevents alot of tangling. Sorry this happened to you, I would suggest you try cowashing and greatly minimise your use of shampoo.
 
You washed 5x. You even washed after the DC?

I don't know how that sound right to you. I'm a newbie too, and it makes no sense to me.

But I'm sorry that happened to you.
 
*CherryPie* said:
You washed 5x. You even washed after the DC?

I don't know how that sound right to you. I'm a newbie too, and it makes no sense to me.

But I'm sorry that happened to you.
Click to expand...


There's some slight confusion: I washed once with the Clarifying shampoo, and washed 3 times with a moisturizing shampoo. I didn't wash after my DC. :)
 
^^ Phew about not following your DC with another shampoo! Maybe edit your first post

But.. using a shampoo more than once, even if it says its moisturising, will usually not end well IMO
 
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MzK said:
There's some slight confusion: I washed once with the Clarifying shampoo, and washed 3 times with a moisturizing shampoo. I didn't wash after my DC. :)
Click to expand...

After taking them out, u didnt need to wash 3 times with the moisturizing poo. U should have just clarified then did a DC, then detangle with a cheapie poo. Sorry about your hair MzK, I feel your pain :sad:
 
I feel so stupid.....and hopless. I see how you guys take excellent care of your hair(pics say a million words), though I know some, if not all of you had trial and error--even major setbacks. I just want to embrace what I have, and learn what it likes/hates....right now, it seems indecisive, lol.

Should I lean toward more butters and creams for my hair to make it manageable (and the texture 'pop'?)
 
Too many times shampooing on top of a protein treatment, then another wash.

The deep conditioning could not offset all of that.

Also you probably did a lot of manipulation with all of this.
 
Even though the shampoo is moisturizing, unless you have pure vaseline coated on your hair you don't need that much shampoo. clarifying shampoo usually strips everything off of your hair so when you use the moisturizing shampoo, it still is trying to clean it. All the moisturizing shampoo does is leave maybe a little bit product on so it doesn't feel as dry but using it 3 times is not equivalent to conditioning and it doesn't really increase softness or moisture or anything. At least in my experience it doesn't.

When i used to get braids i'd keep them in for about 3 or 4 months so when I took them out I used a good clarifying shampoo once. The thing is to lather then let it sit for a couple of min. then lather again before rinsing. Then I'd use a moisturizing shampoo once, again letting it sit, and my hair felt a little stripped but clean.

As far as what to do now, if you have coconut oil try to add it to your future deep conditioners and try steaming. Aloe vera juice (the real kind found in whole foods or any health food store) mixed with some oil (1:1)will also help with moisture and help with detangling. I used that and hair mayo (the cheaper one) while transitioning to keep everything moisturized and from getting matted.

Sorry this happened to you, transitioning was a pain in the butt for me but after I found what worked i ended up transitioning for a little over 2 years so don't lose hope :) Good luck!
 
Don't feel stupid honey.. certainly not hopeless! We all trip up on our hair journeys unless super super super cautious.

When you know better, you do better, that's all, you definitely won't make this mistake again.
 
Go to the transitioning thread very helpful. My suggestion would be to comb-out very thoroughly after braids and like the other ladies said wash one/two times maximum. HTH but for my hair ALL clarifyimg shampoos equal a disasterous, tangled, matted mess. I don't care how long I havent washed my hair clarifying shampoos are waaaay too harsh for me, so I would skip that step and just use a moisturizing shampoo. And be extra careful not to bunch, gather, or pile your hair in a ball while washing, this causes tangles, knots and matting. Since detangling is a bit more challenging while you're transitioning, you should keep heavy manipulation of your hair to a minimum. I hope this helps for next time.

One more thing make sure you deep condition with a good moisturizing conditioner to put much needed moisture back into your hair. Sorry this happened to you.
 
I'm really sorry this happened to you. What the ladies said about over-shampooing is true. Anyway, follow the links they've given, do your research, define a hair care routine that suits your needs and objectives and you'll be OK. Good luck!
 
MzK said:
Hi Guys,

Though I'm still a newbie, I'm already having issues with my hair.

Yesterday, I took out my kinky twists, and seperated/detangled my hair prior to washing. Afterwards, I did a clarifying (WASHED ONCE!), used my moisturizing shampoo 3 times, did a (light) protein treatment, washed out, did a DEEP CONDITIONING, then washed out to style.

:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono:​


My hair was so matted, to the point where I was ripping it out...so...my mother and I @ 2am, started cutting all the matted hair.

It's a LOT shorter (nl/barley sl) than what I'm used to.

I just want to know what I did wrong....and how can I fall in love with my natural hair underneath--because right now, though I'm not going back to relaxers-- I'm hating it.:crying3::cry:

I (think) my texture is a 4-something. What can I do? Plz help.

Thanks. :)
Click to expand...

I am SO SORRY. This happened to me after 5 months of back to back micros. I'm also a 4b. What happened was when you washed it, the natural hair shrank at the line of demarcation. And it dreaded up. OMG, when that happened to me I had one large dread lock that would not budge and I lost a good 5 inches.

In the future, you will have to braid your hair into 5 large ponytails BEFORE you wash, so that the natural hair is stretched while it is wet. I've done this ever since and the natural hair doesn't mat up.

Right now, please don't despair, your hair will grow back. Nurse it while it grows, doing your DC's with protein and moisture. Also, wait two weeks b4 you get your relaxer, because your hair needs to get its elasticity back.
 
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I am soooo sorry!!!!!!
That sucks! But can you let us know what exactly you used for your clarifier, moisturizing poo, DC? Maybe the ingredients in your products just aren't working.
What did you Dc with and for how long?
 
You have to THOROUGHLY detangle and get out ALL the shed hair after taking out kinky twists. This is also why I don't like to wet them a lot while they are in because that super-cheap weae dries out the hair and makes it matt.

Sorry this happened to you!
 
OP also washing technique has a lot to do with matting. You mentioned nothing about washing hair in plaits or twists....please correct me if I am wrong!

Once you detangled you should have separated hair in sections plaited the hair and washed in that manner. In the Media we see soo many commercials where the ladies gather the hair and massage the strands in a circular motion... that is a recipie for disaster for most kinky natural heads!

Wash the hair in plaits always.... and if you cant.... apply the shampoo to the scalp only give a light scrup with your finger tips and allow the suds to fall down your back, always keep the water flowing in a downward motion to eliminate tangles.

You can love your natural hair you just have to learn to give in the care that it needs.

Im willing to bet a bottle of my finest conditioner that even if you washed that many times ( because lawd knows I have) If you kept the hair plaited and let the water flow downward you may have saved the matting problem.

But do NOT beat yourself up! part of this journey involves trial and error... everything isnt always rainbows and roses... so take this as a learning experience. re-evalute your methods and learn from this :)
 
bravenewgirl87 said:
It's not the protein treatments. It was your overuse of the 'poo. I know when you take out any braided style your hair seems to be extremely dirty but never over-wash in one setting. If anything, you could have clarified once, deep conditioner, etc. then co-wash another day. You did waaaay too much.
Click to expand...

ITA!!! You over manipulated and probably stripped your hair with all of the poo'ing, which caused it to matt and tangle.
 
I agree about over shampooing and also about the WAY you wash your hair.

After you took the twists down, you said you detangled your hair. Did you detangle with your fingers or a comb?
 
I never shampoo more than 1 or 2 times...sorry this happened to you, don't worry it will grow back and you have to be patient with your hair. What products are you using? I'd like to know more about your reggie. In my opinion natural products work best and are uber moisturizing. You probably should have waited till your next shampoo to do a protein treatment. *hugs*
 
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