*sigh* I want to BC soon so bad, but I'm scurrred!

Crystalicequeen123

Crystalicequeen123

Well-Known Member
Hey ladies.... :wave:

I am currently about 7 (almost 8) months post relaxer, and I am ITCHING to BC....like yesterday. :lachen: I already had a big major trim last month, and that has definitely helped significantly with hair shedding, detangling, and maintenance.

But after seeing all these youtube videos of naturals, seeing the lovely natural heads on this board, and seeing my friends natural hair, I'm just ready to BC already! I don't think I can do a LOOONG transition....plus, my hair is fine-textured so I don't think I would even really have much relaxed hair left after a year anyway.

The only thing is, I'm SCARED! Not about what people will think so much, but more so about HOW I will be able to wear my hair on a day-to-day basis as a natural. That scares the beejeezus out of me. I notice that twist outs don't work for me. I twist it out and it looks good for maybe a day (or two if I'm lucky), but then by the 2nd day my hair is not only a TANGLED mess, but it doesn't look too good either. :nono: What do I do??

How do you naturals wear your hair? I"m scared it will take me hours in the morning to get my natural hair looking "just right" before work, when in the past I could just take off my hair scarf, unwrap my hair, put a little oil in it and walk out the door. But NOW....idk....I guess I'm just feeling a little unsure of myself and kind of apprehensive about how I will style MY natural hair so that it looks nice, and fits my face, etc. :look:

I know I don't want to look like (no offense) a "busted up" natural head. :look: I want to look like I actually took some TIME to do my hair...not like I just rolled up out of bed, and walked out the door with dry, unmoisturized, fuzzy looking hair. :(


*sigh* Okay...I just had to vent.

What would you ladies do in my situation? I don't want to transition any longer, but at the same time I'm a little scared to BC. :ohwell:
 
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I feel like if your really THAT scared to BC you're not ready. I'm not natural, still transitioning too (right there behind you!), but I know most people who have a TWA just moisturize seal and are out they're door. Most people who have/had TWA's say that it was the easiest time to actually take care of their hair. Don't fret too hard, either decision you make, I'm sure it'll make you happy! HHG!
 
dooooo itttttttt

in any case u will have to experiment and perfect your twist outs
my first twist outs looked like the first pic, now I get them pretty defined, and mine dont last more than 2 days either, after that I just put it in a puff for the rest of the week.
 

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Hi!

I'd tak the plunge and BC. You stated that you are tired and don't want a long transition, so BC would be the thing. Let a professional cut your hair. You want your hair even and shaped. Know that whatever you're seeing on your head in the way of new growth is going to look shorter once you do the BC. Due to shrinkage and basically your hair just looks totally different than it does with that relaxed hair hanging off of it. I suggest dealing with this mentally before the cut. Visualize your hair short and how you might look with an afro or a short twist out. Really, there is no way to know how your hair is going to respond until you can see it without relaxed hair. It will be different and that doesn't mean negatively so. Be prepared to experiment with headbands, clips, tiny barrettes, hats etc. . . If you've been reading the boards you have a good idea how to care for your hair.

It will take some getting used to. If you desire, you can always have it pressed and wear a press n curl while you deal with being short and natural. The good thing about the press n curl is that you can switch back and forth without compromising your natural state. For me, being short and naturl was easy and the best time. I could get my ends trimmed if I felt they were damaged. I could switch back and forth with a press n curl. Everytime I see the singer Monica, I want to chop all my hair off and rock a sleek style (pressed, of course). The absolute best thing about hair is that it is just hair and it will grow back. Relax, think about why you really want to BC and then go for it. Just remember that natural hair requires lots of time and attention. I don't find it any cheaper than when I paid for salon visits. In order for it to look beautiful and healthy, you must put in the time and love. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking it is a "breeze" to take care of. Having said all of that, I ADORE my natural hair because it provides me with so many hair options. Good Luck!
 
LuvlyRain3 said:
How many inches of new growth do you have?

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Click to expand...

Mmm...to be honest, I haven't really measured it! It's the most newgrowth I've ever had though that's for sure lol. My last relaxer was back in February. So I'm a little over 7 months post. When I feel my new growth it looks like at least a good 2 inches long. But if you go by the hair growth charts of average hair growth being about .5 inches per month, then TECHNICALLY I should have at least 3 good inches worth of new growth.


SimJam said:
dooooo itttttttt

in any case u will have to experiment and perfect your twist outs
my first twist outs looked like the first pic, now I get them pretty defined, and mine dont last more than 2 days either, after that I just put it in a puff for the rest of the week.
Click to expand...

Lol....thanks. Yeah, I think I'm ready to do it because I'm getting tired of even dealing with the relaxed ends. I just want to be completely FREE so that I can start learning how to take care of my hair as a COMPLETE natural. My hair is about shoulder-length now, so it's not even significantly "long" to deter me from BC'ing....I just feel like taking a week off and learning how to do my natural hair before I actually show it off to everyone. Idk....does anyone know how I feel?? :confused:

My hair is already going to be SHORTER than it has ever been in my life, I just want to make sure that if/when I BC and it's short...that it also looks FEIRCE and well taken care of. Btw, what did you change in your regimen/process that caused you to get better-defined twist-outs?

Thanks for the tips Miryoku. :yep: I agree that I think my hair will probably be easier to take care of while it's short and natural now. I'll have to see what other ladies do with their twa's and see if I can copy their styling tips.
 
If your scared don't do it. It's more of a mental transistion versus a physical one. Do not BC until you are ready.
 
Twist outs on my transitioning hair was a whole different ball game from twist outs on my natural hair. Just something to keep in mind.

I was one of those who cried and cried after BCing. However, looking back, Im glad for the experience. I learned to style my hair, something I never thought I could do. There were some rough days, believe me, and I was very thankful for hats LOL.

The freedom of TWA is wonderful too. I just washed and went for the first time in my life and I loved it.

Anyway, I'm not going to tell you to do it or not do it, but I agree with the other poster who said that it's a mental transition as well.
 
Yea impulse and hair don't really go hand in hand. I BC'd on impulse and it took me a few days until I was really comfortable with how it looked. I'd say do tons of research and decide how you're going to wear your hair that first week so you wont be uncomfortable afterwards. I say do it though because if it's a thought in your mind and really eating at you, you wont hate it and as long as you're confident there's no such thing as it not looking good on you or whatever because everyone else will respond more to your confidence than anything else.

HTH Good luck!!!!
 
When i bcd bcd it was a mixed feeling of being fed up with two textures and fear. I bcd anyway. Ive never been too scared to do the things that i know that i really want to do. So if you really want to bc then don't let your fear stop you. In the end its just hair.

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I think when you are ready to BC, you will know it. My first BC, I was sure. There were butterflies, but more out of excitement, than fear. If you are scared, don't do it. Just wait a week or two and rethink if you really want to cut it now or transition a little while longer.
 
Cutting your hair off all at once can be a shock psychologically. When I was cutting my perm out, I cut my hair little by little every week until it was all gone. It gave me a chance to adjust. I think I did it over the course of 6-8 weeks. That way if you change your mind you can just stop cutting your hair. HTH
 
OP, I am going to be honest with you. When I first bc'd, I was at a lost because it had been eons since I have had shorter hair and when I did have shorter hair, it was relaxed, so that is a totally different thing all together. When I first got my hair cut, it looked "weird" to me. I decided that until I felt comfortable with showing my natural hair, I would wear half wigs and wigs. I also did this because I needed to play around with my hair and see what worked for my hair. So, until I got a routine down and some styles, I decided that wigging it was best for me. So, after about a month, I was able to get a routine down AND was able to finally learn how to use KCCC to define my curls. I also must say that now that my hair has grown out quite a bit, it is easier for me to style and my styles look better. Today I am rocking a curly fro (I did not use KCCC, only spritzed with water, some coconut oil and Qhemet's Burdock cream) that's it.

It is only natural that when you make a change in your hair, whether it is going from relaxed to natural or vice versa, it takes a while to get your footing and learn what works for you.

Now that it is getting colder, I will not be doing so many conditioner washes and using my KCCC because now that my hair has grown out, I will be doing roller sets.

** Almost forgot, you need to remember accessories can be your friends. I have about a zillion headbands (hard and soft) and I rock them all the time**
 
If you have doubts...Don't Do It! This is not (for many) just a physical change but a mental change as well. If you are scared about how to style it or how a TWA will look on you then you should transition some more. This will help you feel more comfortable and give you more time to research natural hair care styles and techniques.

I transitioned for 18mos because I wasn't too sure what to do with short natural hair. I wanted to be able to style it and not simply wear a WnG. Also I was used to long hair all my life so it was already startling enough to not feel hair on my shoulders for 6-8mos. I was ready to end my transition because my relaxed hair looked a mess and wouldn't stop breaking. I embraced my hair but I still had much trepidation about my looks for 2-3mos after my BC.

If you do decide to BC. You can always try braids/twists (hair added), weaves, wigs to help you adapt as well.
 
I'm not going to tell you whether or not you should BC, but here's my take on it. I BC'ed kinda sorta on a whim, and previously I was one of those people that "needed" some hair - I was sporting a mohawk, but my hair had length up top so I didn't feel totally bald. Then, I decided that I wanted to BC before the end of 2009, so the next day I got some scissors and went at it. I ended up having to go to my stylist to fix it, but it was done. The sides on my mohawk had also been growing out and were starting to look messy, and I didn't want to keep trimming it because then it would just take me that much longer to grow my hair out.

I didn't feel particularly free or anything, basically, I just felt like a little boy. It wasn't bad though, I was sorta just like eh, it's hair, it'll grow back. I didn't feel like it was me, but at the same time, as long as I kept my hair healthy, I never felt as if I looked bad. A couple of times I cried because sometimes I just wanted to wear a pony tail (I still can't make one), but I also cry when I have PMS over everything, lol, so that wasn't a big deal and after the second month I was pretty much over it.

Anywho, so the moral of my long winded story is that you may be scared, but when it's done, it's done, and it's just hair - it will always come back if you care for it. If you're having difficulty with transitioning styles (my hair is thick and takes forever to dry, so when I tried to do rollersets or bantu knots they would NEVER dry, so that's why I just chopped my hair into a mohawk), a TWA will be much easier to deal with, and as your hair grows it will be easier simply because I find it difficult to deal with two textures. I personally believe that if cared for and healthy, natural hair can never be ugly. After all, it's the hair you were born with.

Oh - and regarding how I wear my hair - I only do wash and gos and love the mess outta them!
 
Thanks for the advice ladies! :hug2: It's really helping a LOT!

I guess I should clarify.... I'm not "scared" as in "shaking in my boots", but I guess I'm just more so nervous because this is something I've never done before. I've NEVER had to care for my natural hair before...EVER. I got a relaxer at 10 years old, and have had one ever since. :look:

So this is all very new to me. I guess it's the same feeling of trepidation one might feel as a young kid going from middle school to high school. You're excited and WANT to move ahead in your schooling journey, but at the same time you're kind of nervous. You wonder whether the other kids will like you, you wonder if you will like all your teachers and classes, you worry about getting lost in your new shcool or not knowing how to open up your locker, etc. YOu know what I mean? I don't think these are irrational thoughts IMO.

So, I hope I didn't give anyone the impression from my original post that I was somehow horrified about rocking a twa, or somehow regretting my decision to go natural. No way! I'm EXCITED! It's like riding a bike though, you know you will probably make mistakes or fall off at one point, but you eventually get back on.

So, I guess I'm just doubting myself that I will not know how to style my natural hair even though I've done TONS of research, bought like 2 books on natural hair care, and have over 150 YouTube videos in my favorites folder online that I have watched. Sooooo....... I don't know. It's one of those things that you can watch and read about natural hair for DAYS....but until you're actually dealing with YOUR OWN natural hair, YOUR OWN natural texture, you won't know for sure whether all the "research" you've been doing is going to work for YOUR hair. You see what I'm saying? Some women can BC on a dime, and not even give it a second's thought. Well....not everyone is like that. It's just like if you're about to get married. You WANT to walk down the aisle, and you can't WAIT to get married to the love of your life, but at the same time you're kind of nervous! Will I make a good wife? Will I trip on my gown? lol :lol:

I think I will go ahead and BC this weekend, and then that way I will have the whole weekend to play w/my new hair :woot:, and maybe wig it up for about a week until I feel completely comfortable with my new "do". :D :grin: I'm going out of town for about a week anyway soon, so I can be on vacation and have time to experiment with my newly natural hair without having to worry about what co-workers or whatever will think. I think I just need a few days to myself where I can feel fully CONFIDENT in styling and rocking my new hair. Because I agree...if YOU don't feel confident or comfortable with your hair, then nobody else will either. :ohwell:


So....I'm excited! :yay:
 
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I just have one more question....

Why IS it that when a woman wants to cut her hair short and she's say...RELAXED, nobody really makes too much of a big deal about it? But when a woman is TRANSITIONING and wants to cut her hair so that she's fully natural, all of a sudden people get so scared?? :look:

I just called my stylist to ask her if she would cut my hair this weekend, and the first thing she said was: "ALL off?? You mean, like....a BOY??" :confused:
Ummm...no.... Obviously if I've been growing my hair for close to 8 months, my hair is not going to look like a fade okay? :confused:

I just don't get it. Plenty of women have short hair like Halle Berry, but it seems like as long as your hair is STRAIGHT, it's okay if you cut your hair short. But God forbid if you have "natural" hair, all of a sudden people are trying to get you to keep your hair as long as possible, or grow it out...or "are you SURE you want to cut ALL your hair off??" Ugh... :wallbash: Just a minor rant.
 
I transitioned to natural 8 years ago. It was my senior year of undergrad and I got a bit "militant" about the whole thing. LOL. During my transition (I can't really remember all the details) I wore box braids. It was a very easy way to avoid dealing with two textures. I rocked those braids for about a year because it was the most convenient style, so I guess I was a long term transitioner by accident.

I couldn't wait to hack those relaxed ends off though, and after I did I was wearing 'fros pretty hardcore. Unfortunately, at the time, I thought that all I needed to do to grow my hair long was give up the relaxer. WRONG! LOL. I wish I had known about this site back then. I'd have floor length hair by now! JK. HHG!!!
 
Just cut it off and throw a headband on it lol That's what I did at 7.5 months. It looked cute too and I didn't have any kind of definition except in the back of my head but I rocked it cause it's my hair if people don't like it who cares you're the one that has to live and accept it no one else.
 
Moustacy said:
Just cut it off and throw a headband on it lol That's what I did at 7.5 months. It looked cute too and I didn't have any kind of definition except in the back of my head but I rocked it cause it's my hair if people don't like it who cares you're the one that has to live and accept it no one else.
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LOL! :lachen: Thanks Moustacy!

Well...if everything goes as planned I'll be getting it cut tonight!!! :yay: :woot:

So....we'll see!!! I am so ready.... I feel it's time. Plus, I don't have too much going on this weekend so I'll be able to play w/my new hair a little bit and gradually get used to the short length. I have quite a bit of relaxed hair left over (not anywhere near APL or anything...but definitely a lot more relaxed hair than natural hair), so it might be different to see my hair so short lol, but it's just hair. It will definitely grow back. Plus, I think it might actually become EASIER to do my hair now that I won't have to fight the two different textures. Believe it or not, but my relaxed ends are getting more difficult to maintain. When usually in the past when I would just stretch my relaxers, I was constantly FIGHTING my newgrowth. Now, it's the other way around!! :lachen: Interesting isn't it?
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
LOL! :lachen: Thanks Moustacy!

Well...if everything goes as planned I'll be getting it cut tonight!!! :yay: :woot:

So....we'll see!!! I am so ready.... I feel it's time. Plus, I don't have too much going on this weekend so I'll be able to play w/my new hair a little bit and gradually get used to the short length. I have quite a bit of relaxed hair left over (not anywhere near APL or anything...but definitely a lot more relaxed hair than natural hair), so it might be different to see my hair so short lol, but it's just hair. It will definitely grow back. Plus, I think it might actually become EASIER to do my hair now that I won't have to fight the two different textures. Believe it or not, but my relaxed ends are getting more difficult to maintain. When usually in the past when I would just stretch my relaxers, I was constantly FIGHTING my newgrowth. Now, it's the other way around!! :lachen: Interesting isn't it?
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Heeey! :wave: My last relaxer was back in February too, so I feel ya. I have decided to long term transition though-- I'm in cornrows now because the BC bug has been biting me hard :lol: I'm interested to see your final result so I have an idea of what I'm working with. Good luck girl!!!!!!!!!!
 
It doesn't sound like you're ready to BC. Why don't you wait a few more months until you have enough hair to put into a ponytail/puff? That's the easiest way to have a good hair day (for me anyway). 8 months might mean 3-4 inches of hair. Are you going to be ok with that? Food for thought.

BTW your twist outs might look better once the relaxed ends are cut.
 
BostonMaria said:
It doesn't sound like you're ready to BC. Why don't you wait a few more months until you have enough hair to put into a ponytail/puff? That's the easiest way to have a good hair day (for me anyway). 8 months might mean 3-4 inches of hair. Are you going to be ok with that? Food for thought.

BTW your twist outs might look better once the relaxed ends are cut.
Click to expand...

LOL....because honestly:
-I really am tired of dealing with the two textures
-I'm running out of "styles" to do with two-textured hair (like you said, twistouts will probably look better once my hair is fully natural :yep:)
-I don't want to flat-iron my hair anymore, and I don't want to put more braids in my hair....at least not right now.

I really am kind of running out of styles to do. During my transition I've had my hair in rollersets, buns, flat-ironed, microbraids, flat twists (twice), twist outs, braid outs, ponytails, wigs, etc. I really am running out of styles. I don't want to put anymore braids in right now (that was just too much tension on my edges :ohwell:), I'm scared of flat-ironing again and possibly causing heat damage, and anytime I do twist outs my hair looks good for about 2 days but then my hair tangles something fierce due to the two textures and looks a mess lol. :lol:

So yeah....I think I'm just ready to experiment with my natural hair. I think the sooner I know learn how to take care of it and style it, the better. :grin:

Yeah...my hair will be short, but honestly....I don't really see the difference. If I'm wearing my hair pulled back in buns most of the time anyway, I might as well just cut my hair!

Sistaslick said:
Heeey! :wave: My last relaxer was back in February too, so I feel ya. I have decided to long term transition though-- I'm in cornrows now because the BC bug has been biting me hard :lol: I'm interested to see your final result so I have an idea of what I'm working with. Good luck girl!!!!!!!!!!
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THANKS!!! I can't wait! :woot:

I know the short length will be different, but after watching a LOT of videos last night on youtube explaining how to take care of and style twa's, I'm feeling a lot better and more prepared. :yep: Plus, it will be cool seeing just how far my hair has come from a twa! :yay:

So....I'll see tonight I suppose!

I'm very fortunate that I live in an area where natural hair is fairly common, so people pretty much are open to it. Not only that, but a lot of my friends are natural, so they can also give me some advice. :yep:

I'll post pics when I BC!! :D

cartelise said:
Where did you guys go for your BC?
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I'm going to my stylist that used to do my relaxed hair. I was going to get one of my good friends who's also a stylist to cut my hair, but she's booked. My regular stylist however cuts hair REALLY well, and she's been doing my hair for almost 10 years, so she knows my hair the best so I trust her. :yep:
 
i bc'd yesterday after 4 months post and i went for a shape up today. my hair is the shortest its ever been, but im kinda getting used to it.
 
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