I'm ready to BC but I don't think my family, friends, SO are ready...

[asubeauty]

I've been transitioning for about a year, and I'm so ready to just be natural. I did a "mini chop" about 6 weeks ago, and now the back of my hair is completely natural. I love it!! I love washing my hair and seeing my little curlies and I've been stalking Fotkis, natural YouTubers, natural hair blogs and message boards. I'm getting so excited seeing women with natural hair do really cute hairstyles and our natural hair is the same length.

But I don't think my mom, classmates, and SO will be able to adjust. When I got my hair cut 6 weeks ago, SO asked me why I had to go so short (I went from APL to about the bottom of my neck), but told me that the new cut was growing on him. When I first mentioned that I was growing out my relaxer, the first thing he said was, "But you can still straighten it though?" The only natural haired women that he's seen had TWAs, and he likes longer hair. He assumes that no matter what, my natural hair will be a TWA. erplexed

And when I mentioned to my mom that I was going natural, she kept saying, "You need a weave until it grows out." She's suggested weaves, braids, and kinky twists because she doesn't like my transitioning styles. Just recently, she asked what I'll do with my hair once I'm "nappy."

And my white classmates think it's really cool. I had one say that she loves when natural hair is in a puff (she didn't say it that way because she didn't know what a puff was. ) because it looks so elegant, like a crown. I thought it was cool that she felt that way. When I mentioned that I kind of have a little fro and I look like my mom's high school yearbook picture when my hair is wet, they thought that was so cool. But I'm kind of worried that people in med school just think that natural hair is "cool" and not professional. I have interviews for residencies coming up in a few months, and looking professional really matters. I know that I can be professional with natural hair, and I'm confident that it'll look nice, but I don't want other's people's ignorance influence my career.

Has anyone else struggled with this? I'm wondering of anybody else put off the BC because of the people around them?

 

[Almaz]

Who cares about the people around you. YOu have to do what is good for you. They should just deal with it

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I think the issue with your SO is the issue with most black people, they haven't been exposed to the versatility of natural hair. Show him fotki's and youtube vids of naturals that do a multitude of styles with their natural hair from straight to kinky to curly to wavy. Show him that natural hair isn't always a TWA but it can also be a huge beautiful fro.

As for your mom, well I think the best you can do with older people that are set in their ways is to just show her rather then tell her, she'll see all the beautiful progress you're making and hopefully she'll be supportive and glad to see you happy in your decision, if not take comfort in knowing you're doing whats best for you.

As for being natural in the corporate realm....thats precisely why I started this thread -->
*Naturals!* Post Pics of all your Professional & Formal Hairstyles! it is a big thread chocked full of looks and ideas for natural styles appropriate for the workplace....I hope you find inspiration from it....alot of ladies told me they have

 

[L.Brown1114]

to be honest with you i think natural hair is more professional than relaxed. i mean whenever you see black people on commercials or modeling they generally have natural hair. i guess white people think it looks more "educated"

 

[Whimsy]

I hope you do what's best for YOU and happily bc.

good luck!

 

[♦K.O♦]

I wish you the best of luck. People are generally resistant to new things, but they also tend to adapt. And sometimes they even grow to like or love the change.

Either way, you have to do what makes you happy.

 

[Foxglove]

I've been transitioning for about a year, and I'm so ready to just be natural. I did a "mini chop" about 6 weeks ago, and now the back of my hair is completely natural. I love it!! I love washing my hair and seeing my little curlies and I've been stalking Fotkis, natural YouTubers, natural hair blogs and message boards. I'm getting so excited seeing women with natural hair do really cute hairstyles and our natural hair is the same length.

But I don't think my mom, classmates, and SO will be able to adjust. When I got my hair cut 6 weeks ago, SO asked me why I had to go so short (I went from APL to about the bottom of my neck), but told me that the new cut was growing on him. When I first mentioned that I was growing out my relaxer, the first thing he said was, "But you can still straighten it though?" The only natural haired women that he's seen had TWAs, and he likes longer hair. He assumes that no matter what, my natural hair will be a TWA. erplexed

And when I mentioned to my mom that I was going natural, she kept saying, "You need a weave until it grows out." She's suggested weaves, braids, and kinky twists because she doesn't like my transitioning styles. Just recently, she asked what I'll do with my hair once I'm "nappy."

And my white classmates think it's really cool. I had one say that she loves when natural hair is in a puff (she didn't say it that way because she didn't know what a puff was. ) because it looks so elegant, like a crown. I thought it was cool that she felt that way. When I mentioned that I kind of have a little fro and I look like my mom's high school yearbook picture when my hair is wet, they thought that was so cool. But I'm kind of worried that people in med school just think that natural hair is "cool" and not professional. I have interviews for residencies coming up in a few months, and looking professional really matters. I know that I can be professional with natural hair, and I'm confident that it'll look nice, but I don't want other's people's ignorance influence my career.

Has anyone else struggled with this? I'm wondering of anybody else put off the BC because of the people around them?

I was really worried about this too. I've seen a few natural students/doctors. We had one natural girl in my class during basic sciences who wore her hair in a puff everyday. It looked super professional (she has since relaxed)
During clinical rotations there have been a few natural girls. I've seen 4 or 5 twas, a medium sized afro, one Ethiopian looking girl with SL type 3 hair who wore it down everyday, and a good number of people who wear their natural hair in ponypuffs everyday. I also saw some natural residents during rotations and interviews (twas and medium sized afros). One girl had a BAA during my step 2 CS. It looked like a wash and go possibly with some styling product like KCCC (didn't want to stare lol). She looked well dressed and well groomed and looked super professional
I'm transitioning right now and my styles have been braids or a gelled phony pony with a phony pony puff. It got good reviews lol
I honestly think for interviews/rotations as long as your style is professional (I always wore a ponytail whether I was in or out of braids) you will be fine.
I'm starting residency in july (fingers crossed, still waiting for march 15) and I plan on being natural when I start. I can update you on my experience and if I encounter any resistance

I wanted to add all my interviews were with Indians or white ppl. No black people interviewed me although I did have black attendings during rotations and they didn't give me any negative feedback during rotations

 

[asubeauty]

I was really worried about this too. I've seen a few natural students/doctors. We had one natural girl in my class during basic sciences who wore her hair in a puff everyday. It looked super professional (she has since relaxed)
During clinical rotations there have been a few natural girls. I've seen 4 or 5 twas, a medium sized afro, one Ethiopian looking girl with SL type 3 hair who wore it down everyday, and a good number of people who wear their natural hair in ponypuffs everyday. I also saw some natural residents during rotations and interviews (twas and medium sized afros). One girl had a BAA during my step 2 CS. It looked like a wash and go possibly with some styling product like KCCC (didn't want to stare lol). She looked well dressed and well groomed and looked super professional
I'm transitioning right now and my styles have been braids or a gelled phony pony with a phony pony puff. It got good reviews lol
I honestly think for interviews/rotations as long as your style is professional (I always wore a ponytail whether I was in or out of braids) you will be fine.
I'm starting residency in july (fingers crossed, still waiting for march 15) and I plan on being natural when I start. I can update you on my experience and if I encounter any resistance

I wanted to add all my interviews were with Indians or white ppl. No black people interviewed me although I did have black attendings during rotations and they didn't give me any negative feedback during rotations

Thanks for your post and good luck on match day!!! How exciting!

I don't have enough hair for a ponytail yet. If I could wear a bun, I wouldn't be too worried because buns look neat and professional all the time. My plan was to transition for 2 years and start residency as a natural, but I don't think I'll hold out for that long!

 

[Foxglove]

Thanks for your post and good luck on match day!!! How exciting!

I don't have enough hair for a ponytail yet. If I could wear a bun, I wouldn't be too worried because buns look neat and professional all the time. My plan was to transition for 2 years and start residency as a natural, but I don't think I'll hold out for that long!

I know the feeling. I started off with a goal of 2 years. Then 18 months. Now I'm chopping at 16 months

 

[Vashti]

I think more and more places accept natural hair. It can depend on the culture of the place you choose to work but like it was said before there are many ways of wearing your hair natural and looking professional. Do what is best for you.

 

[RockCreak]

I too was in your shoes.. been transitioning for a little over 8 months. Worried about what others would think... then I just said.. forget it. I'm tired of dealing with the two textures... and started my new natural journey!

I just did mine today! You do what's best for you!

 

[gimbap]

Your mother and BF will get used to your natural hair. My mama wasn't sure about my natural hair when I first BCed, now she loves it and is thinking about going natural too. And as long as your hair is neat and clean, there's no reason for it to not look professional.

Can't wait to see pics!

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I can understand the concern about your career being impacted. That is potentially a risk you run... but being black in a professional setting you always run the risk that someone will find something to fixate on as unprofessional (when the real problem is they don't like black people doing big things).

Your mom and BF may come around and may not. Really, almost everyone I knew hated my TWA. Seriously, only my DH was in my corner, and that was on philosophical grounds, not because he actually liked how my hair looked But you know what, I kept on doing what *I* knew was best for me. These days people have precious little to say about my hair

 

[My Friend]

I've been transitioning for about a year, and I'm so ready to just be natural. I did a "mini chop" about 6 weeks ago, and now the back of my hair is completely natural. I love it!! I love washing my hair and seeing my little curlies and I've been stalking Fotkis, natural YouTubers, natural hair blogs and message boards. I'm getting so excited seeing women with natural hair do really cute hairstyles and our natural hair is the same length.

But I don't think my mom, classmates, and SO will be able to adjust. When I got my hair cut 6 weeks ago, SO asked me why I had to go so short (I went from APL to about the bottom of my neck), but told me that the new cut was growing on him. When I first mentioned that I was growing out my relaxer, the first thing he said was, "But you can still straighten it though?" The only natural haired women that he's seen had TWAs, and he likes longer hair. He assumes that no matter what, my natural hair will be a TWA. erplexed

And when I mentioned to my mom that I was going natural, she kept saying, "You need a weave until it grows out." She's suggested weaves, braids, and kinky twists because she doesn't like my transitioning styles. Just recently, she asked what I'll do with my hair once I'm "nappy."

And my white classmates think it's really cool. I had one say that she loves when natural hair is in a puff (she didn't say it that way because she didn't know what a puff was. ) because it looks so elegant, like a crown. I thought it was cool that she felt that way. When I mentioned that I kind of have a little fro and I look like my mom's high school yearbook picture when my hair is wet, they thought that was so cool. But I'm kind of worried that people in med school just think that natural hair is "cool" and not professional. I have interviews for residencies coming up in a few months, and looking professional really matters. I know that I can be professional with natural hair, and I'm confident that it'll look nice, but I don't want other's people's ignorance influence my career.

Has anyone else struggled with this? I'm wondering of anybody else put off the BC because of the people around them?[/Q UOTE]

You do have to decide what's best for you but would I take such a risk? NO If you are having to ask then there is a need for concern. Can you have the best of both worlds by BC'g and wearing a wig/weave to your interviews? How much time do you have to grow out your TWA before your interview?

I am not stating that natural hair can not look professional, I'm simply stating everyone has their own definition of professional hair.

I think your man and your mamma will get over it as your hair begins to grow long and beautiful.

Congratulations on both of your journeys, BC and MD

 

[zzirvingj]

First off, congrats on your decision to BC! I am happy for you and I am sure you have come a long way...so what's the use in waiting any longer to do it when you are clearly ready? Like you, I also did a "mini chop" when I first cut my hair (actually, I did two, lol )...before going fully natural. There's nothing like feeling when you are ready to take that step and I'm sure you're well informed enough about haircare to maintain a professional look.

There are always going to be a few people who think your hair is unprofessional. In the long run, those few just simply aren't worth worrying about in my opinion because they aren't the majority. As far as your SO and friends/family adjusting, they should adjust to your look over time...who knows, some may instantly like it In the case that THEY don't adjust to YOU, you may have to simply adjust yourself to be able to deal with them. Hey, it happens. But in the meantime, you have to do you.

I used to see a good number of black women (residents) at the hospital I worked at previously (and this was a very large Atlanta hospital) that wore their hair in a TWA or a fro with a headband or even a naturally curly type of style. I even had one who was transitioning who used to ask me for advice All of the ones that I can remember looked nice. And might I add that there's something about natural hair that exudes just a little extra "confidence" IMO...it's hard to describe. But being comfortable in your hairstyle and appearance, whether natural or not, goes a long way towards exuding confidence period, really.

I am learning that life is too short to put off any decision mainly because you're concerned about other people's opinions...I've been there and I understand your concerns...they are valid. Not to sound too cliche, but change is inevitable so don't be "too" worried about what everyone else is gonna think. I say go for it and HAVE FUN with your newly natural hair Good luck!

 

[zzirvingj]

I can understand the concern about your career being impacted. That is potentially a risk you run... but being black in a professional setting you always run the risk that someone will find something to fixate on as unprofessional (when the real problem is they don't like black people doing big things).

^^^ITA with this.

I've been transitioning for about a year, and I'm so ready to just be natural. I did a "mini chop" about 6 weeks ago, and now the back of my hair is completely natural. I love it!! I love washing my hair and seeing my little curlies and I've been stalking Fotkis, natural YouTubers, natural hair blogs and message boards. I'm getting so excited seeing women with natural hair do really cute hairstyles and our natural hair is the same length.

But I don't think my mom, classmates, and SO will be able to adjust. When I got my hair cut 6 weeks ago, SO asked me why I had to go so short (I went from APL to about the bottom of my neck), but told me that the new cut was growing on him. When I first mentioned that I was growing out my relaxer, the first thing he said was, "But you can still straighten it though?" The only natural haired women that he's seen had TWAs, and he likes longer hair. He assumes that no matter what, my natural hair will be a TWA. erplexed

And when I mentioned to my mom that I was going natural, she kept saying, "You need a weave until it grows out." She's suggested weaves, braids, and kinky twists because she doesn't like my transitioning styles. Just recently, she asked what I'll do with my hair once I'm "nappy."

And my white classmates think it's really cool. I had one say that she loves when natural hair is in a puff (she didn't say it that way because she didn't know what a puff was. ) because it looks so elegant, like a crown. I thought it was cool that she felt that way. When I mentioned that I kind of have a little fro and I look like my mom's high school yearbook picture when my hair is wet, they thought that was so cool. But I'm kind of worried that people in med school just think that natural hair is "cool" and not professional. I have interviews for residencies coming up in a few months, and looking professional really matters. I know that I can be professional with natural hair, and I'm confident that it'll look nice, but I don't want other's people's ignorance influence my career.

Has anyone else struggled with this? I'm wondering of anybody else put off the BC because of the people around them?[/Q UOTE]

You do have to decide what's best for you but would I take such a risk? NO If you are having to ask then there is a need for concern. Can you have the best of both worlds by BC'g and wearing a wig/weave to your interviews? How much time do you have to grow out your TWA before your interview?

I am not stating that natural hair can not look professional, I'm simply stating everyone has their own definition of professional hair.

I think your man and your mamma will get over it as your hair begins to grow long and beautiful.

Congratulations on both of your journeys, BC and MD

^I understand your post and that you wouldn't take such a risk. I was concerned about taking such a risk when I cut my hair, too. There will be some people who don't like her hair cuz it's too short or too textured or too [fill in the blank] when she cuts it. BUT....there will also be some people who think that natural hair that is longer is also not professional and some think it looks more polished in a TWA than in a longer style such as a puff or twists. I just think you can't please everyone and more people will be okay with/adjust to her hair than not.

 

[asubeauty]

So, I've been thinking, and I decided to wait until SO graduates (in June). That way I won't have to deal with his 50 million question about why I cut when he was just getting used to the new cut. I won't see my mom for a while, so I'll just handle them the same way and (hopefully) they'll be used to the idea of my not having straight hair by the time I see them again. I know it's kind of a passive way to do it, but 3rd year is so stressful, and by then I'll be a 4th year and I'll be more relaxed.

And by they time I interview for residencies I'll be almost 2 years post, so I'll have more options.

Until then, SO and mom will just have to deal with my flexirod sets and flat twists.

It might be a long 3 months... I'm so ready to chop...