Hi
Kurlee... Nothing in your post has scriptural support.
The question here in this thread is:
Should a Pastor's wife be part of the same Church?
The scriptural answer is: "Yes"
Why? God has made it clear that the Husband and Wife are 'One'.
God said regarding Adam, it is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a 'Help Meet' suitable. He put Adam to sleep, opened his side, removed a rib and closed his side thereof.
From that, God created Adam's wife, Eve. Eve, whom Adam said 'She is flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone...'
"Flesh of my Flesh ... Bone of My Bone" = 'One Flesh' (Man and Wife)
God ordained the two as 'One'. Together, they were created to worship God... as 'One'.
However, Eve (though for a moment) separated herself from her husband Adam and in doing so was deceived by satan. She listened and took heed to another voice.
Neither the wife nor the husband, should become spiritually separated from one another. Their call is to worship 'as One'. It closes the gap that becomes a 'divide', the prelude to a 'fall'.
All of the other excuses not to are from today's modern trends in society for a wife to 'break away' from becoming 'One' with her husband. It is a deception of satan to wedge a gap in the Marriage.
A wife attending her husband's Church where he 'Pastors' does not make her a 'Puppet', nor a 'Pastorette', neither a doormat, nor anything less. If nothing else, she becomes more and is honored and blessed for it. (Proverbs 31)
A husband and wife are not called to worship separately and God's Word makes this clear.
The real danger is in those who 'select' to reject it to enable them to feel free in doing 'their own thing'. Worship is not a game. It's serious beyond anyone's trendy and shallow interpretation of it.
It's cool if you and others disagree, that's your choice, it's exercising the 'free will' that God has given you. However the disagreement is without scriptural support.