Religious beliefs and relationships?

[t23luvgod]

Have you ever held a serious relationship with somebody who didnt share the same religious beliefs as you? how'd it go?

i recently got out of a 2 year relationship but the whole break up was inadaquately planned. I had started going back to church but the church felt as though if he didnt want to study the bible then i need to cut him off. Now he wasnt raised in the church he went to church on his own when he was younger so he agreed to go to church when he was off of work but studying bible not really his thing. So the pressure of wanting to belong to this church, being "evenly yoked" and fornicating all got to be to much so i dumped him. So of course i regret the break up, up until last week we were still having sex and going out so that just made thing even more complicated. He slept with somebody else and so did I. We are both confused.But he's really upset at me for it cause i broke up with him because of sex and all.
My family loves him, they really want us to get back together; is it worth the fight?

Have you ever held a serious relationship with somebody who didnt share the same religious beliefs as you? how'd it go?

 

[sky_blu]

Did he not share the same religion? or he just didn't get into the church as much as you did? When you say share the same religion, Im thinking of two people having two different faiths. I dated a guy who was Muslim, while I am Christian - Baptist, and religion wasn't an issue but we also were not that serious. BTW when I say serious I mean a relationship where we were thinking of the long term i.e marriage, living together, having kids, etc. It wasn't an issue between us. That's how he grew up and this is how I grew up. He was a practicing Muslim too. Now on the flip side my DD father grew up not attending church regularly and once we started dating he started coming with me. Got really into it (he even gave up sex), baptized, and joined the church. We are no longer together but he has made God a permanent fixture in his life.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Yes - and it didn't work out

Question about your situation - with you getting more into church, were you also pumping the breaks on fornication? Because . . . if you're still fornicating (with him or anyone else) then it's strange to me that you'd break up because of religious differences if your belief system doesn't extend to keeping sex within marriage. It's like breaking up with someone because they're not a vegan like you are - refusing to use animal based products - yet you still eat chicken on the regular.

I have pretty limited dating experience overall so I probably have no business in this thread. But best to you . . . either way, I know it hurts.

(((hugs)))

 

[carcajada]

Have you ever held a serious relationship with somebody who didnt share the same religious beliefs as you? how'd it go?

i recently got out of a 2 year relationship but the whole break up was inadaquately planned. I had started going back to church but the church felt as though if he didnt want to study the bible then i need to cut him off. Now he wasnt raised in the church he went to church on his own when he was younger so he agreed to go to church when he was off of work but studying bible not really his thing. So the pressure of wanting to belong to this church, being "evenly yoked" and fornicating all got to be to much so i dumped him. So of course i regret the break up, up until last week we were still having sex and going out so that just made thing even more complicated. He slept with somebody else and so did I. We are both confused.But he's really upset at me for it cause i broke up with him because of sex and all.
My family loves him, they really want us to get back together; is it worth the fight?

Have you ever held a serious relationship with somebody who didnt share the same religious beliefs as you? how'd it go?

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

So to be clear you broke up with him because 'the church' felt some kind of way about his not studying the bible, but you 2 boning each other and you slipping and dipping with someone else? I don't understand. I mean I guess you really like the church and want to belong, but I am wondering how 'the church' would feel about the secting going on...or is that moot if both parties are studying the bible.

 

[fifi134]

The situation you are in is exactly why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. If two people are of the same faith and the same spiritual level, ideally, this should not happen.

 

[VelvetRain]

The situation you are in is exactly why the Bible says not to be unequally yoked. If two people are of the same faith and the same spiritual level, ideally, this should not happen.

True and I do very much agree with you but let's he honest it does happen. I am a former JW and while I do still practice some of their beliefs I will never marry a JW and will end up with a non believer. This has only affected one out of many dating relationships.

 

[Renewed1]

VelvetRain girl where did you find that quote? That is so true of men.

Opster, I'm confused by your story. If you are going to live for God, then you need to leave dude alone. If you are going to stop having sex with dude, YOU tell him the rules and let him decide if he is going to stay or not.

 

[VelvetRain]

MarriageMaterial I assume your talking about the one in my signature?
Jerald Howard is a black authour and poet. That is the title of one of his books. He also gives great relationship advice on the Dedan Tolbert show specifically geared to helping black women. I have two of his books.

 

[Katherina]

Um, yeah, didn't work out. But I disagree with the opinion that disaster is inevitable with persons of two different religions.

I don't really understand your situation though. How is his not reading the bible (yet from what I see, maintained belief in Jesus) cause for a break up, but fornication is not???

 

[t23luvgod]

He does believe in God but he's open to other religions as well, he acknowledges God but doesnt see his need for him. When we broke up, i did it on the basis that the whole relationship wasnt condusive to what i was learning in the bible. We would always talk about stop having sex but we would end up doing it anyway. I thought i was ready to let go of our relationhsip but i wasnt therefore we kept having sex.

 

[fifi134]

Um, yeah, didn't work out. But I disagree with the opinion that disaster is inevitable with persons of two different religions.

I still disagree. I'm sure there have been some cases where people who said they believed two different beliefs worked out, but I think in most cases, real religious zealots would not date someone of a different belief. How would a Christian who believes Jesus is God and a Muslim who believes He isn't work out?

 

[Whimsy]

I've seen relationships btwn people of different religions and even differing levels of observance work out well.

YOUR relationship seems a lil iffy to me, being that you let him go due to the church (odd)...but still found another dude to sleep with shortly thereafter and he hopped into bed w/ someone else rather quickly too.

Perhaps THIS guy isn't the one you need to work things out with.

And perhaps you need to do a lil soul searching and see what you really want out of a church, out of a relationship, and out of yourself. (i say this because you mention the fornicating as an issue w/ the ex....but then you fornicated w/ someone else)

I hope you find a church home and a relationship with a good dude that makes you feel happy and fulfilled.