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Relaxing the children.
- Thread starter CatSuga
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sky_blu
Well-Known Member
I voted NO from personal experience and from looking at too many kids with they hair like the above. I dont see myself relaxing my daughters hair anytime soon and when she gets of age which to me would be around 12 or 13 then Ill let her make the decision if she wants to get it relaxed or not. Her hair isnt unmanageable now and I wouldnt think about putting a relaxer in there if she couldnt get to the stylist at least every week or every other week to take care of it.
baglady215
Well-Known Member
I don't have a daughter, but I would have no problem relaxing her hair if I thought it was necessary because *I* know how to care for relaxed hair, and I would teach her the same.
LDebagoria
New Member
I don't have a daughter, but I say nay. My hair wasn't relaxed until I was 13, and it was REALLY long and healthy when it finally was relaxed.
dontspeakdefeat
Hair Coach
I relaxed my daughter's hair at six. Her hair did fine but once I found the forum I regreted my decision to do it so early. She is all natural now and I will wait to relax again. When she is 12 or 13 I will let her make that decision on her own. Of course I still won't let her lay a finger on her own hair!
qtgirl
New Member
First, how do you know these children are relaxed, maybe their hair is pressed.
Second, I don't agree with relaxing children's hair before they reach puberty, for the reason that their bodies (incl. hair) haven't finished developing.
Thirdly, I think it's kind of mean to post these kid pics, whether or not you covered their eyes. How would you feel if someone did that to your child?
Second, I don't agree with relaxing children's hair before they reach puberty, for the reason that their bodies (incl. hair) haven't finished developing.
Thirdly, I think it's kind of mean to post these kid pics, whether or not you covered their eyes. How would you feel if someone did that to your child?
EbonyF
Well-Known Member
When I have kids I will not be relaxing their hair. I will teach them to appreciate their natural hair. If they want to relax, it will not be under my household.
As for the pictures with those girls. That is what I commonly see in Central, Florida. Pretty much the NORM. Poor things...
As for the pictures with those girls. That is what I commonly see in Central, Florida. Pretty much the NORM. Poor things...
hairmaster
New Member
NA>I don't have children but if I did I would not use chemicals on them, I know of children like these and they are much happyer campers with the relaxers, They have parent that don't know what to do with their child hair in the first place and dont have the income to pay someone. One threationed to report her granny for hurting her while trying to comb her hair after shampooing. 5-10 years down we will know the affects on the children.
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vaqtea
Active Member
I vote NAY to relaxing the kiddies hair. I have two daughters and I will
not relax thier hair. When they are older 13-15 I would let them decide.
I want to first teach them that natural hair is just as pretty as relaxed hair.
Second, children cannot be expected to care for permed hair. My daughters like to play in the sprinklers,sand, and most of the food they eat end up in their hair. I couldnt imagine how one would keep a childs hair clean and healthy when its permed.
not relax thier hair. When they are older 13-15 I would let them decide.
I want to first teach them that natural hair is just as pretty as relaxed hair.
Second, children cannot be expected to care for permed hair. My daughters like to play in the sprinklers,sand, and most of the food they eat end up in their hair. I couldnt imagine how one would keep a childs hair clean and healthy when its permed.
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MeccaMedinah
Active Member
I voted Nay. I am anti-relaxer in general. I'll never relax my daughter's hair.
Tru_Mind
New Member
Those pics are definitely relaxed heads.
I voted no from personal experience. I have no kids.
I wish I had...and they should have a chance to learn their natural hair first...but I wish more parents knew how to care for natural hair. Parents give up too soon and relax their girls hair at an early age. They fail to realize that if they had trouble combing hair before(or in many cases they didn't comb hair) their troubles are going to become much greater when you add chemicals.
My little cousin...like me...got a relaxer at an early age and her hair is looking similar to the girls in the above pics. My little cousins natural hair was similar to mine...type 3 but she had a lot more hair than I do. Now it look similar to the girls hair in the pic...a dry brillo. My aunt is one of the parents that didn't comb hair, because she though my little cousin had too much hair. I don't understand I had noooo problem combing my little cousin's hair...and yes she did have a lot of hair in volume and when stretch it reach to her waist. Know it's short and thin...and dry. My little cousin was happy to see her hair relaxed, because her relaxed hair was waist length...not anymore.
My aunt still doesn't spend too much time combing her hair. I'm desperatly trying to get her to grow her relaxer out. I'm getting transitioning tips and texturizing tips from this forum and I e-mail it to her often.
I voted no from personal experience. I have no kids.
I wish I had...and they should have a chance to learn their natural hair first...but I wish more parents knew how to care for natural hair. Parents give up too soon and relax their girls hair at an early age. They fail to realize that if they had trouble combing hair before(or in many cases they didn't comb hair) their troubles are going to become much greater when you add chemicals.
My little cousin...like me...got a relaxer at an early age and her hair is looking similar to the girls in the above pics. My little cousins natural hair was similar to mine...type 3 but she had a lot more hair than I do. Now it look similar to the girls hair in the pic...a dry brillo. My aunt is one of the parents that didn't comb hair, because she though my little cousin had too much hair. I don't understand I had noooo problem combing my little cousin's hair...and yes she did have a lot of hair in volume and when stretch it reach to her waist. Know it's short and thin...and dry. My little cousin was happy to see her hair relaxed, because her relaxed hair was waist length...not anymore.
My aunt still doesn't spend too much time combing her hair. I'm desperatly trying to get her to grow her relaxer out. I'm getting transitioning tips and texturizing tips from this forum and I e-mail it to her often.
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baglady215
Well-Known Member
hairmaster said:
Well I guess I'm a candidate for the study because I have been relaxed since I was a child and I'm doing fine...
GodMadeMePretty
Well-Known Member
hairmaster said:
Aren't you a hair person/stylist? What do you recommend to your clients when they ask about putting a relaxer on their child's hair? Do you comply with their wishes?
baglady215
Well-Known Member
tru_mind said:
So can you really blame the chemicals or the parent? Caring for a child's relaxed hair takes just as much work as caring for their natural hair. The child's head would be a mess either way if the parent wasn't properly caring for it. If adults can have healthy, relaxed heads of hair I don't see why children can't.
Champagne_Wishes
A broke graduate
I voted nay but it really depends. Don't have any kids but if I did, I would instill in her healthy hair habits and she will get a relaxer after the age of 13.
Champagne_Wishes
A broke graduate
The little girl in the last picture is Bobbi Christina and the main reason why her hair is like that was that she had just finished swimming and probably didn't protect her hair when swimming like wetting her hair, applying conditioner and wearing a swimming cap. Besides it was her birthday party.
Country gal
Well-Known Member
I am so against it. I just feel that the parents aren't taking the time to learn better ways of doing their children's hair. 
Honi
There is no board.
Unfortunately I see this lot in my town. I don't know why people think that putting a relaxer in their hair would make life easier. It isn't if you don't know what you're doing.
I have a daughter and will not relax her hair at any young age. I'm hoping to avoid this issue as long as possible but can see it will be a battle in the end. At 2 years of age she's used to the weekly routine of me pouring water over her head. My aunt once asked me if she cries, screams and fights when I do her hair and I said no. She was VERY surprised. Thanks to this site, I know how to take care of her natural hair.
My mother relaxed my hair at around 8 or 9 years of age because of all the hollerin' I would do. It didn't look like the above pics and was long and thick. I think it was because it was always protected….who knows.
I know of a salon that will not put relaxers in a child's hair if they are not older than 13. They can get it done but it won't be there! I think it's an excellent policy.
I have a daughter and will not relax her hair at any young age. I'm hoping to avoid this issue as long as possible but can see it will be a battle in the end. At 2 years of age she's used to the weekly routine of me pouring water over her head. My aunt once asked me if she cries, screams and fights when I do her hair and I said no. She was VERY surprised. Thanks to this site, I know how to take care of her natural hair.
My mother relaxed my hair at around 8 or 9 years of age because of all the hollerin' I would do. It didn't look like the above pics and was long and thick. I think it was because it was always protected….who knows.
I know of a salon that will not put relaxers in a child's hair if they are not older than 13. They can get it done but it won't be there! I think it's an excellent policy.
caligirl
Well-Known Member
I think relaxing a young child's hair sends the wrong message. Like natural hair is too ugly/unmanageable/unacceptable to be seen out in public. You don't see little white girls with curly hair getting thermal reconditioning. That happens much later, if they choose, when they are adults.
KEIONI'S MOM
New Member
I have an 11 yr old daughter and I have relaxed her hair. Her hair is doing well it is in the middle of her back and healthy. My reason for doing this is her hair was very coarse and thick. She would cry sometimes scream whenever it was time to wash and condition her hair. Once done it would be a tangled mess. It was hard to get the comb through and I wasn't raking the comb through her hair either. She is very tender headed even now that she has a relaxer she still flinches when it is time to detangle. I don't agree that a parent should relax a child under that age of five but to each his own. When I relaxed my daughter she was 10 and even though she is going through puberty right now I think it was the best decision for both her and I.
B
Bublnbrnsuga
Guest
Catsuga 
Yeah on a serious note, I remember my mother REFUSED to put a perm in my hair, despite how long,bushy,thick,etc etc it was. I'm just gonna put it out there- I think most moms are lazy in this day and age.
Yeah on a serious note, I remember my mother REFUSED to put a perm in my hair, despite how long,bushy,thick,etc etc it was. I'm just gonna put it out there- I think most moms are lazy in this day and age.
hairmaster
New Member
I am glad to hear that.baglady215 said:
L
lkg4healthyhair
Guest
My daughter is only 6 1/2 months but I do not plan on relaxing her hair when she gets older. I was thinking more like High School 14 or 15 yrs the decision can be discussed. She has very curly hair. I like her TWA its so cute.
I mentioned to my husband's family that I didnot want to relax her hair because the chemicals can be so damaging and they all looked at me like I was crazy....they were like "what are you going to do??"
My step-daughter has had a relaxer since I have known her 8 years old (prior to 8). Her hair is damaged in my opinion. Her mother doesn't take care of it and it has broken off in diff areas. I feel bad for her.
I mentioned to my husband's family that I didnot want to relax her hair because the chemicals can be so damaging and they all looked at me like I was crazy....they were like "what are you going to do??"
My step-daughter has had a relaxer since I have known her 8 years old (prior to 8). Her hair is damaged in my opinion. Her mother doesn't take care of it and it has broken off in diff areas. I feel bad for her.
Nay. Although I don't have children, I would try to wait as long as posible for this. Relaxing is a MAJOR step.
I got my first perm in college at 20. And I regret it now- I'm currently transitioning 5 years later. All through middle school and high school I got my hair pressed and although it would revert, I still remember liking my wild, bushy hair. It was only until I got to college and thought perming would be "easier" that I stopped being natural.
The good thing was that my mom did my hair until middle school and then brought me to a beautician who taught both of us how to care for my long thick natural hair. I appreciated it.
I got my first perm in college at 20. And I regret it now- I'm currently transitioning 5 years later. All through middle school and high school I got my hair pressed and although it would revert, I still remember liking my wild, bushy hair. It was only until I got to college and thought perming would be "easier" that I stopped being natural.
The good thing was that my mom did my hair until middle school and then brought me to a beautician who taught both of us how to care for my long thick natural hair. I appreciated it.
I say Nay. I think every black woman should have the experience and joy of having natural hair at some point in her life. I think the best time for us to teach this to our daughters is when they are young and we can give their hair the time and nurturing care to thrive. That way if they decide they later want a relaxer, it will be because they want a change, not because they don't know how to take care of their natural hair or don't think it can be beautiful. (Oh, and they will have the knowledge to transition any time they want)
I thank this board (and Cathy Howse's site) SO much because I was 'this' close to putting a kiddie perm in my daughter's hair and she is only 4!! I know better but I was getting so incredibly desperate. Her hair is very coarse, sandy blond (so it looks even dryer), very dry. I would go weeks without washing it because I thought that was drying it out, I would put lots of oils and grease on it thinking that was moisturizing it. After just 3 months on this board, with weekly washing, moisturizing conditioners and daily water-based moisturizing, she has a completely different head of shiny, soft, growing hair. No perms for her for a long, long time.
I thank this board (and Cathy Howse's site) SO much because I was 'this' close to putting a kiddie perm in my daughter's hair and she is only 4!! I know better but I was getting so incredibly desperate. Her hair is very coarse, sandy blond (so it looks even dryer), very dry. I would go weeks without washing it because I thought that was drying it out, I would put lots of oils and grease on it thinking that was moisturizing it. After just 3 months on this board, with weekly washing, moisturizing conditioners and daily water-based moisturizing, she has a completely different head of shiny, soft, growing hair. No perms for her for a long, long time.
mkstar826
supersonic
don't have kids yet but i will not be relaxing their hair. when they are old enough (18+) to make the decision then they can do what they want. But I don't think mentally kids or young teens are ready to make that kind of decision. I see no reason for anyone, much less a child, to have a relaxer...especially when the majority of people out there aren't properly caring for their hair under a relaxer. There's too many kids and adults out here walking around with damaged hair and screwed up mentalities about natural hair and it's SAD.
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sprungonhairboards
Well-Known Member
sbaker said:I am so against it. I just feel that the parents aren't taking the time to learn better ways of doing their children's hair.
I agree. Natural hair is not nearly as unruly and unmanageable as people seem to think. It does not have to be a nightmare if you know how to handle it . Relaxers should not be an only option to having manageable hair. As far as kids are concerned I think it should be a last resort.
I was also relaxed at around 6 years old. My hair is very thick and coarse. But, my mother took very good care of my hair and my sister's and our hair was always professionally relaxed. If I have a daughter, I'm not opposed to relaxing her hair, but I would wait until she was a little older (at least 10). I think at that point we could have a discussion about whether or not she wanted her hair relaxed and how she should take care of her own hair (relaxed or natural).
