Relaxed Ladies Hair Regrets and Revelations
- Thread starter Christa438
- Start date
Regrets:
leaving relaxer too long on hair - broke it off terribly.
not conditioning and doing protein treatments regularly
not protecting my ends when self-relaxing
Revelations:
-my edges will never get thick
-during this 2 year stretch, learned a lot about my hair and what I need to do to keep it growing and healthy;
leaving relaxer too long on hair - broke it off terribly.
not conditioning and doing protein treatments regularly
not protecting my ends when self-relaxing
Revelations:
-my edges will never get thick
-during this 2 year stretch, learned a lot about my hair and what I need to do to keep it growing and healthy;
HauteHippie
Well-Known Member
This, almost to a T. I went natural for fun. At times I regret it, but then I think I probably would have done it eventually (but would've chopped APL instead of barely SL). Going natural did teach me things about my hair that help now that I'm back to relaxed. I mostly wish u hadn't been so eager to cut my relaxed/texlaxed ends.
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Napp
Yes, I am. I feel like my hair should be way longer by now. The only thing I still do that is "damaging" is relaxing. It's weird because I've been a ride-or-die relaxed chick, but I'm tired of getting touch-ups. My hair is always super dry after a touch-up, no matter what. If you have any words of wisdom to share, please do!
Yes, I am. I feel like my hair should be way longer by now. The only thing I still do that is "damaging" is relaxing. It's weird because I've been a ride-or-die relaxed chick, but I'm tired of getting touch-ups. My hair is always super dry after a touch-up, no matter what. If you have any words of wisdom to share, please do!
candy626
New Member
Wow. That's why I used to always bring my own relaxer. A cousin of mine went to a Dominican salon once where they tried to use an unknown super strength relaxer on her head instead of the one she normally asked for. You definitely need to be cautious and aware I guess..
Britt
Well-Known Member
Napp
Ms. Nobody
i dont really have much wisdom to share.i cant even grow my hair past APL
i relaxed because i felt like i was stuck at APL and felt that my natural styles were getting in the way.
you might enjoy your natural so Go for it
irsgirl
Well-Known Member
Regrets:
Cutting 3-4 inches from my hair twice during my journey.
Think no-lye is better than lye relaxer.
Using HS 14-1 everyday, twice a day(mush=break) and not
using a light protein at each wash.
Revelations
My hair loves protein.
Protective styles(bunning)are my friend.
And what works for others may not work for me.
Cutting 3-4 inches from my hair twice during my journey.
Think no-lye is better than lye relaxer.
Using HS 14-1 everyday, twice a day(mush=break) and not
using a light protein at each wash.
Revelations
My hair loves protein.
Protective styles(bunning)are my friend.
And what works for others may not work for me.
Majestye
New Member
Regrets:
- ever relaxing as a teen in the first place! Had long hair that was straightened (pressing comb) but saw my mom get one and wanted to be like her. We didnt know what we were up against!
-coloring, cutting and bleaching with a relaxer..need I say more?
-not knowing about proper relaxed hair care...just winging it, or trying to do what I did when it was straightened with a pressing comb.
-not paying attention more closely to the information on this forum, I've been a member long enough to have more to show for it.
-listening to hair dressers that said you must relax bone straight or your hair will break off. - oh yeah and they said I had to go to the salon weekly too. (Glad I didn't listen to them on that one, I'm not a salon kind of gal)
Revelations:
-sooooo so glad I'm digesting and learning proper care from this forum
-there is a name for not wanting to be bone straight and it's called TEXLAXING
-proper texlaxing techniques go a long way to healthy length retention for me
-henna is a girl's best friend to cover grays and it's good for your hair unlike regular peroxide colors
-aloe Vera gel/juice is another must have
- I CAN stretch past six weeks and go 10 months or more between touch ups WITHOUT breakage.
-there IS a specific reason for each product /type you use...not just using stuff for the sake of habit hence the real meaning of the word REGIMEN. I'm still getting mine...
-my scalp loves water....it's like feeding a thirsty soul.
-hair hates heavy protein
-I don't need a "professional" to take care of my hair. I'm the professional, I've known it longest and best.
Sent from my Xoom using Xoom
- ever relaxing as a teen in the first place! Had long hair that was straightened (pressing comb) but saw my mom get one and wanted to be like her. We didnt know what we were up against!
-coloring, cutting and bleaching with a relaxer..need I say more?
-not knowing about proper relaxed hair care...just winging it, or trying to do what I did when it was straightened with a pressing comb.
-not paying attention more closely to the information on this forum, I've been a member long enough to have more to show for it.
-listening to hair dressers that said you must relax bone straight or your hair will break off. - oh yeah and they said I had to go to the salon weekly too. (Glad I didn't listen to them on that one, I'm not a salon kind of gal)
Revelations:
-sooooo so glad I'm digesting and learning proper care from this forum
-there is a name for not wanting to be bone straight and it's called TEXLAXING
-proper texlaxing techniques go a long way to healthy length retention for me
-henna is a girl's best friend to cover grays and it's good for your hair unlike regular peroxide colors
-aloe Vera gel/juice is another must have
- I CAN stretch past six weeks and go 10 months or more between touch ups WITHOUT breakage.
-there IS a specific reason for each product /type you use...not just using stuff for the sake of habit hence the real meaning of the word REGIMEN. I'm still getting mine...
-my scalp loves water....it's like feeding a thirsty soul.
-hair hates heavy protein
-I don't need a "professional" to take care of my hair. I'm the professional, I've known it longest and best.
Sent from my Xoom using Xoom
Lynnerie
Well-Known Member
prospurr4
Thanks!
I'm looking forward to this new journey for me. I enjoyed getting to know my natural hair but I learned that with my hair type and the styles I like to wear I needed more manageability. Having natural hair for me was causing too much breakage. I do wish I had left the relaxer on a little longer because people still think I'm natural but I'm not sure when I should correct it or if I should even try to. Any suggestions?
You're welcome, Lynnerie!
People think I'm natural too, which I kinda like, because I can wear the "natural look" with more manageability. I personally woundn't change a thing. However, if you prefer your hair straighter, you can wait until your next touchup and, just before rinsing, run the relaxer down the length of the hair.
jrae
Well-Known Member
Regrets:
Revelations:
- Learning too late that Super strength relaxer is way too strong for my hair. Mild or Normal is just fine.
- Relaxing the back of my hair first.
- Doing my hair in a rush = breakage.
Revelations:
- My hair loves mayonnaise as a pre-poo every week
- Wrapping and covering my hair at night means less manipulaton in the morning
Christa438
Well-Known Member
Thank You ladies for your responses!!!! Great information, and y'all have some gorgeous hair... On top of being sick, Ive been busy between work and school so Im just now checkin back in... Some of the setbacks were familiar while reading this thread. Oh well, we live and learn. I also noticed that I have more growth for two-month period when I have been moisturizing and sealing twice daily instead of every other day or something like that. If I dont stick to my regimen, i feel like Im just "off." I JUST incorporated pre-pooing into my regimen lol 
. My skin and hair get dry easily so I like it. Right now Im just keeping my hair braided under my lace for more growth. Im not where I wanna be with my hair yet, but Im still motivated.
. My skin and hair get dry easily so I like it. Right now Im just keeping my hair braided under my lace for more growth. Im not where I wanna be with my hair yet, but Im still motivated.
danysedai
Well-Known Member
Regrets:Jumping on a lot of bandwagons back when I joined.
Flat ironing hair
Letting DH do my relaxers instead of learning to self relax
Not upping my care during the winter months here in Canada
Revelations:
Simple IS better. Ever since I started just rollersetting and flat ironing roots my hair has taken off.
I'm still a PJ and always will be and that's ok.
Especially expensive products that are my addiction.
I love well made wigs that suit my face, before I hated them.
Flat ironing hair
Letting DH do my relaxers instead of learning to self relax
Not upping my care during the winter months here in Canada
Revelations:
Simple IS better. Ever since I started just rollersetting and flat ironing roots my hair has taken off.
I'm still a PJ and always will be and that's ok.
Especially expensive products that are my addiction.I love well made wigs that suit my face, before I hated them.
kupenda
Well-Known Member
I'm back with new revelations and regrets!
Revelation: my hair can't be combed wet. I have to oil the strands to the tips or I get breakage
I'm starting to think I'm protein sensitive despite being relaxed. A light protein once a month is ideal
I stretch for twelve weeks. No issues because I cowash and DC often. But I've learned to really listen to my hair. And it's not interested in cheapo products. The closer to natural they are, the better my hair performs
Regrets: not spending my money on my staples and trying new products instead. Now I'm sad cuz these products are awful lol
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
Revelation: my hair can't be combed wet. I have to oil the strands to the tips or I get breakage
I'm starting to think I'm protein sensitive despite being relaxed. A light protein once a month is ideal
I stretch for twelve weeks. No issues because I cowash and DC often. But I've learned to really listen to my hair. And it's not interested in cheapo products. The closer to natural they are, the better my hair performs
Regrets: not spending my money on my staples and trying new products instead. Now I'm sad cuz these products are awful lol
Sent from my iPhone using LHCF
WhippedButterCreme
New Member
Insight: Protective styling is the best thing since sliced bread (lol), also braiding my hair w/ extensions keeps my hands out of my hair, which makes retention far better.
-cowashing once a week, twice tops, is what my hair likes, any more and my hair gets fussy
-detangling once a week, when hair is dry + leave in, is the only time I'll do it. Wet detangling seems to lead to less hair on my head.
-keeping my hair in a bun means I only have to moisturize and seal once a day.
Setbacks: (Back in 2008)
-don't let just ANY stylist in your hair!! Make sure the stylist agrees with your regime.
-Also, the whole 'our hair hates water' fiasco is ridiculous! Our bodies are 75% water, and we need water to grow and carry out bodily functions, why would our hair be any different!?
-Please don't buy into that 'black girls can't have long hair' belief.
I did for awhile (my hair was always stuck at apl length but everyone made me think my hair was loooong as if it was down to my ankles )
-cowashing once a week, twice tops, is what my hair likes, any more and my hair gets fussy
-detangling once a week, when hair is dry + leave in, is the only time I'll do it. Wet detangling seems to lead to less hair on my head.
-keeping my hair in a bun means I only have to moisturize and seal once a day.
Setbacks: (Back in 2008)
-don't let just ANY stylist in your hair!! Make sure the stylist agrees with your regime.
-Also, the whole 'our hair hates water' fiasco is ridiculous!
Our bodies are 75% water, and we need water to grow and carry out bodily functions, why would our hair be any different!? -Please don't buy into that 'black girls can't have long hair' belief.
I did for awhile (my hair was always stuck at apl length but everyone made me think my hair was loooong as if it was down to my ankles )
NIN4eva
Well-Known Member
Regrets
- Detangling my hair wet. I really need to stop doing this... It's like some kind of addiction.
- Using Roux PC as a final rinse after another conditioner... see above. Am I hard headed or what?
- Bangs
- Lightener = Broken relaxed hair
Revelations
- No ponytails for me. My hair can't deal with the tension. From now on it's twist and pin or clip updos.
- I NEED Roux PC. But only before my final conditioner, or just used alone after Roux Moist Shampoo.
- Bantu knots tangle my hair. I need to leave them alone.
- I need serious protein (Aphogee 2 step) at least every 6 weeks. I can't sleep on this.
- And hot oil treatments at least once per month.
- I HATE growing out bangs.
- Dusting is my friend.
- So are long bobbie pins. I bend them into a slight half moon shape to conform to the shape of my head. I use them for wrapping my hair at night and styling. Make my life SO much easier.
- Same goes for sock buns
- Flat irons and blow dryers are not my friends - and I can clearly do without them. I can't remember the last time I used them and the thickness is proof. When I need a bump I use gentle hot rollers
)
- Give new products time to work. As long as they don't cause harm, give them a good 3-4 uses and then make a decision.
- I can't stretch past 8 weeks. And I don't need to.
- Keeping it simple is the best.
- Detangling my hair wet. I really need to stop doing this... It's like some kind of addiction.
- Using Roux PC as a final rinse after another conditioner... see above. Am I hard headed or what?
- Bangs
- Lightener = Broken relaxed hair
Revelations
- No ponytails for me. My hair can't deal with the tension. From now on it's twist and pin or clip updos.
- I NEED Roux PC. But only before my final conditioner, or just used alone after Roux Moist Shampoo.
- Bantu knots tangle my hair. I need to leave them alone.
- I need serious protein (Aphogee 2 step) at least every 6 weeks. I can't sleep on this.
- And hot oil treatments at least once per month.
- I HATE growing out bangs.
- Dusting is my friend.
- So are long bobbie pins. I bend them into a slight half moon shape to conform to the shape of my head. I use them for wrapping my hair at night and styling. Make my life SO much easier.
- Same goes for sock buns
- Flat irons and blow dryers are not my friends - and I can clearly do without them. I can't remember the last time I used them and the thickness is proof. When I need a bump I use gentle hot rollers
) - Give new products time to work. As long as they don't cause harm, give them a good 3-4 uses and then make a decision.
- I can't stretch past 8 weeks. And I don't need to.
- Keeping it simple is the best.
Christa438
Well-Known Member
...
Revelations
- No ponytails for me. My hair can't deal with the tension. From now on it's twist and pin or clip updos.
- I NEED Roux PC. But only before my final conditioner, or just used alone after Roux Moist Shampoo.
- Bantu knots tangle my hair. I need to leave them alone.
- I need serious protein (Aphogee 2 step) at least every 6 weeks. I can't sleep on this.
- And hot oil treatments at least once per month.
- I HATE growing out bangs.
- Dusting is my friend.
- So are long bobbie pins. I bend them into a slight half moon shape to conform to the shape of my head. I use them for wrapping my hair at night and styling. Make my life SO much easier.
- Same goes for sock buns
- Flat irons and blow dryers are not my friends - and I can clearly do without them. I can't remember the last time I used them and the thickness is proof. When I need a bump I use gentle hot rollers
- Give new products time to work. As long as they don't cause harm, give them a good 3-4 uses and then make a decision.
- I can't stretch past 8 weeks. And I don't need to.
- Keeping it simple is the best.
Great info, I have been thinkin about trying Roux just to see if it really would make a difference for me as far as conditioning and adding slip and shine to my hair...Right now my staples are everything from Aphogee, s-curl no drip leave in, gel from fantasia ic, oil sheen from ORG, and other oils and lotions/butters.
Honey Bee
Well-Known Member
Christa438, If you're looking for slip and shine, French Stabilizer (available at Sally's) may be a better choice for you. I'm fine haired and texlaxed. My experience with Roux PC was that it made my hair feel kinda hard but I was using it as a last step, which, apparently, a lot of people don't do. FS leaves my hair feeling silkier (until it dries
).
Napp
Ms. Nobody
Revalation:
prepooing is a must
expensive products dont out perform cheapies
use enough product to coat the hair
10 mins dcing with heat is enough
my hair doesnt like direct heat
i must wash my every 4 days
do not go too long without combing
i do not like stretching.
regrets
not combing hair for a week(knots like crazy)
texturizing(i prefer texlaxed hair)
going to a salon to get a relaxer/texturizer(expensive and unsatisfied)
prepooing is a must
expensive products dont out perform cheapies
use enough product to coat the hair
10 mins dcing with heat is enough
my hair doesnt like direct heat
i must wash my every 4 days
do not go too long without combing
i do not like stretching.
regrets
not combing hair for a week(knots like crazy)
texturizing(i prefer texlaxed hair)
going to a salon to get a relaxer/texturizer(expensive and unsatisfied)
golden_goddess
Active Member
Bumping...
trendsetta25
Well-Known Member
Regret: Coloring my hair. This led to chemical damage and I'm still trying to get over the setback. It's taking a long time because my hair grows slower than normal (I avg 2-3 inches of growth a year)
Revelation: 3/4 wigs are my favorite protective style!
Revelation: 3/4 wigs are my favorite protective style!
PersuasiveBeauty
New Member
Protein just is not for every body.
hillytmj
Well-Known Member
Regrets:
-Slacking on my reggie once I reached my WL goal. Recovering from a setback related to that now.
-Going to a hater stylist.
Revelations:
-Whatever it took to get you to your length, you'll need to continue to maintain it.
-All of the small things really do add up for great growth, health and retention: vitamins, DCing, low mani, moisture/seal, bunning.
-Before rushing to the scissors if your hair suddenly looks dry, do a baggy treatment so you can truly assess if you have major dryness or damage.
-No direct heat truly is best for making long relaxed hair look full, healthy and vibrant.
-Protective styles are an excellent way to break a hair growth plateau.
-Always, always take photos, even if you're having a setback and don't like the way it looks at the time. Photos clearly show progress and can keep you motivated when you feel like nothing is happening or that you want to give up.
-Be good to your overall self, not just your hair. Speak loving, kind words over your hair and self and believe that you will reach your goals. This may sound strange, but if you constantly complain about your hair or talk about how awful, hard or difficult it is, that's what you'll get. A stylist taught me a long time ago to always thank God for my long, strong, thick, healthy, beautiful hair. At that time, my hair didn't reflect any of those qualities, but now it does.
-Slacking on my reggie once I reached my WL goal. Recovering from a setback related to that now.
-Going to a hater stylist.
Revelations:
-Whatever it took to get you to your length, you'll need to continue to maintain it.
-All of the small things really do add up for great growth, health and retention: vitamins, DCing, low mani, moisture/seal, bunning.
-Before rushing to the scissors if your hair suddenly looks dry, do a baggy treatment so you can truly assess if you have major dryness or damage.
-No direct heat truly is best for making long relaxed hair look full, healthy and vibrant.
-Protective styles are an excellent way to break a hair growth plateau.
-Always, always take photos, even if you're having a setback and don't like the way it looks at the time. Photos clearly show progress and can keep you motivated when you feel like nothing is happening or that you want to give up.
-Be good to your overall self, not just your hair. Speak loving, kind words over your hair and self and believe that you will reach your goals. This may sound strange, but if you constantly complain about your hair or talk about how awful, hard or difficult it is, that's what you'll get. A stylist taught me a long time ago to always thank God for my long, strong, thick, healthy, beautiful hair. At that time, my hair didn't reflect any of those qualities, but now it does.
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