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Relaxed Hair Thread

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So I relaxed my hair last night around midnight. It was a last minute decision. My hair has been so tangly for the last year or so and I’ve just been hiding it away instead of dealing with it.

Relaxer went well and I followed it with a baking soda + Braggs amino acids + conditioner DC. As I was applying the DC it was elongating my hair. I remember now that it used to help make it easier for me to stretch my relaxers. Cowashed this morning and my hair was so easy to deal with! I’m bringing this back to my regi along with my trusty salt/Hibiscus DC mix.

I’ve finally come to the realization that my hair does better when I mix my own products using cholesterol and Suave as a base. I’m throwing out all of these other products. KISS.
 
I shared this in the Shea Butter thread, but I’ll post it here

Most recent length shot:
34hnwa.jpg


Almost to my goal length yay!
 
@ItsMeLilLucky
I totally struggled with that too when I first relaxed my natural hair. My first few, I left too texture and dealt with SSKs which was one of the reasons I relaxed in the first place. GL to you! And please don't make the mistake I made of over-correcting. I ended up having to grow out and cut off all of that bone straight hair. :(

@PlanetCybertron

Whohoo!! Grow on, girl! :toocool:
 
Hi everyone I'm hoping you ladies here can help me out. After 10+ years natural I decided to relax my hair. Wash day had become an all-day chore, styling my hair at the last minute for outings was impossible and in spite of actually accomplishing my goal of waist length hair shrinkage put my styles just below my shoulders. My hair was no fun, I couldn't enjoy the results of my hard work. So after some consideration, I decided to relax.

Prior to going natural, I'd never had a problem with relaxed hair --my hair is 4b/c and low porosity-- meaning my hair responded well to heat and could endure harsh treatments fairly well. In spite of that, I was always gentle with my relaxed hair and would usually do braids out when I was relaxed in the past. In spite of the condemnation of friends and family, last May I went to the beauty shop, purchased a no-lye relaxer kit and straightened my hair. Typically I touch up somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks though I am thinking of going longer. After relaxing I went to a beautician and had my hair cut back to bra-strap length. I was very happy.

At first, I had good results and experimented with blow-drying and flat ironing, roller sets and the occasional braid-out and tbh I love my relaxed hair. Wash day went down to a few hours and I could quickly and easily change my styles. Everything was going good however in the last six months I began to notice increased dryness, tangling and breakage especially after washing my hair was especially bad no matter what I did. This Sunday was the final straw. Thinking my problem was heat damage (even though that didn't quite make sense) I planned to wrap my hair after washing thinking a break from the heat would do the trick.

My hair was so dry and tangled after washing I had to slather on 3 leave-in conditioners, hair oil, and setting lotion to get my hair into a somewhat manageable state. From there I attempted to wrap my hair, found out I wasn't that good at wrapping and went about searching for answers online. Everywhere I looked I read about heat damage, chemical damage, split ends and cutting until a thread came up on this very forum talking about mineral build-up from no-lye relaxers.
After reading about no-lye relaxers and calcium build-up I knew I had the beginnings of an answer. I bought myself a bottle of Neutrogena no more residue clarifying shampoo and washed my hair this morning. For the first time in months, my hair was soft and minimally tangled after conditioning. I opted to blow dry my hair after washing this morning and am trying to decide what my regimen should be going forward.

Braid outs haven't worked well since the no-lye relaxer got my hair straighter than anticipated and I am still concerned about my hair's overall health given the amount of time I was styling and treating it with calcium build-up. Heat seems to be working best for now and I make a point of being careful I limit heat styling to once every one or two weeks and roller set in between. I'm especially interested in a no-heat regimen since my plan was to use braids. I am switching back to a lye relaxer probably Vitale or Motions. I welcome any suggestions for styling and care going forward as I would like to see my hair get back to waist length. Thanks for reading through my story, you ladies are the best.
 
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a_g_doren said:
Hi everyone I'm hoping you ladies here can help me out. After 10+ years natural I decided to relax my hair. Wash day had become an all-day chore, styling my hair at the last minute for outings was impossible and in spite of actually accomplishing my goal of waist length hair shrinkage put my styles just below my shoulders. My hair was no fun, I couldn't enjoy the results of my hard work. So after some consideration, I decided to relax.

I'd never had a problem with relaxed hair --my hair is 4b/c and low porosity-- meaning my hair responded well to heat and could endure harsh treatments fairly well. In spite of that, I was always gentle with my relaxed hair and would usually do braids out. In spite of the condemnation of friends and family, last May I went to the beauty shop, purchased a no-lye relaxer kit and straightened my hair. Typically I touch up somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks though I am thinking of going longer. After relaxing I went to a beautician and had my hair cut back to bra-strap length. I was very happy.

At first, I had good results and experimented with blow-drying and flat ironing, roller sets and the occasional braid-out and tbh I love my relaxed hair. Wash day went down to a few hours and I could quickly and easily change my styles. Everything was going good however in the last six months I began to notice increased dryness, tangling and breakage especially after washing my hair was especially bad no matter what I did. This Sunday was the final straw. Thinking my problem was heat damage (even though that didn't quite make sense) I planned to wrap my hair after washing thinking a break from the heat would do the trick.

My hair was so dry and tangled after washing I had to slather on 3 leave-in conditioners, hair oil, and setting lotion to get my hair into a somewhat manageable state. From there I attempted to wrap my hair, found out I wasn't that good at wrapping and went about searching for answers online. Everywhere I looked I read about heat damage, chemical damage, split ends and cutting until a thread came up on this very forum talking about mineral build-up from no-lye relaxers.
After reading about no-lye relaxers and calcium build-up I knew I had the beginnings of an answer. I bought myself a bottle of Neutrogena no more residue clarifying shampoo and washed my hair this morning. For the first time in months, my hair was soft and minimally tangled after conditioning. I opted to blow dry my hair after washing this morning and am trying to decide what my regimen should be going forward.

Braid outs haven't worked well since the no-lye relaxer got my hair straighter than anticipated and I am still concerned about my hair's overall health given the amount of time I was styling and treating it with calcium build-up. Heat seems to be working best for now and I make a point of being careful I limit heat styling to once every one or two weeks and roller set in between. I'm especially interested in a no-heat regimen since my plan was to use braids. I am switching back to a lye relaxer probably Vitale or Motions. I welcome any suggestions for styling and care going forward as I would like to see my hair get back to waist length. Thanks for reading through my story, you ladies are the best.
Click to expand...

Hi and :welcome:

Before I get going on any ideas here's a big hug. :bighug:

So your story started like mine. I grew my natural hair to WL and was fed up with SSKs, long wash days, and not seeing my hard work. I read a ton of relaxed hair threads before I actually took the plunge and decided to go with LYE relaxers precisely for the very reason you listed. I was really concerned about my ability to manage the calcium buildup because I had never had long relaxed hair in my life. After underprocessing, I ended up eventually over correcting too straight and then had to grow out and cut the bone straight hair.

Having said all of that.. Lol. I feel your pain and it's good to hear that you've narrowed down a reason for your hair troubles. Glad you got those tangles under control. I totally understand how frustrating that can be. I actually use Motions lye with no problems. I tried the Vitale lye Mild and it was too strong for my hair. I'm fine-haired, cottony, 4B with 4A sprinkled in. I also prefer to texlax instead of relaxing bone straight because it helps my hair look fuller. I've seen lots of ladies grow long, beautiful bone straight relaxed hair though so you can't go wrong as long as you care for it properly.

I can't wrap without manipulating my hair too much so I've been cross wrapping instead when I want to keep my style straight. Have you tried that? Every now and then I also do one single bantu knot top bun that I rock for a day or two and then release for a pretty curl. When I first relaxed, I rocked tons of braidouts because I was ready to feel the length that I had earned. But I think that was to the detriment of my hair. I was stalled in MBL land for years because I fell off of what got me to WL in the first place.

I'm not really good with product recommendations because I strongly believe that proper retention is based on finding the techniques that work for you (your unique protein-moisture balance, manipulation tolerance level, finger detangling vs tools, protecting your ends via products vs styles, etc) and then you can substitute in products to fit your regi techniques. For instance, I've learned that my hair prefers weekly light/mild protein, lots of moisture/water, finger detangling, little to no manipulation, I prefer to protect my ends via styles instead of just using a heavy product and my scalp likes to be clean. I've found all of that to be true both natural and relaxed.

When I was natural, I only used heat (blow dryer and/or flat iron) once or twice per year. I had trouble transitioning my mind after I relaxed so it took me a while to use more heat. I've actually started blow drying more and, like you, I like it. I use a hot hair brush instead of a blow dryer though. I find the flexible bristles to be easier on my fine strands, especially since I finger detangle 95% of the time. I only blow out about once every 1-2 months or whenever I redo my protective style. Have you tried a hot air brush? Such a godsend!
 
a_g_doren said:
Hi everyone I'm hoping you ladies here can help me out. After 10+ years natural I decided to relax my hair. Wash day had become an all-day chore, styling my hair at the last minute for outings was impossible and in spite of actually accomplishing my goal of waist length hair shrinkage put my styles just below my shoulders. My hair was no fun, I couldn't enjoy the results of my hard work. So after some consideration, I decided to relax.

Prior to going natural, I'd never had a problem with relaxed hair --my hair is 4b/c and low porosity-- meaning my hair responded well to heat and could endure harsh treatments fairly well. In spite of that, I was always gentle with my relaxed hair and would usually do braids out when I was relaxed in the past. In spite of the condemnation of friends and family, last May I went to the beauty shop, purchased a no-lye relaxer kit and straightened my hair. Typically I touch up somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks though I am thinking of going longer. After relaxing I went to a beautician and had my hair cut back to bra-strap length. I was very happy.

At first, I had good results and experimented with blow-drying and flat ironing, roller sets and the occasional braid-out and tbh I love my relaxed hair. Wash day went down to a few hours and I could quickly and easily change my styles. Everything was going good however in the last six months I began to notice increased dryness, tangling and breakage especially after washing my hair was especially bad no matter what I did. This Sunday was the final straw. Thinking my problem was heat damage (even though that didn't quite make sense) I planned to wrap my hair after washing thinking a break from the heat would do the trick.

My hair was so dry and tangled after washing I had to slather on 3 leave-in conditioners, hair oil, and setting lotion to get my hair into a somewhat manageable state. From there I attempted to wrap my hair, found out I wasn't that good at wrapping and went about searching for answers online. Everywhere I looked I read about heat damage, chemical damage, split ends and cutting until a thread came up on this very forum talking about mineral build-up from no-lye relaxers.
After reading about no-lye relaxers and calcium build-up I knew I had the beginnings of an answer. I bought myself a bottle of Neutrogena no more residue clarifying shampoo and washed my hair this morning. For the first time in months, my hair was soft and minimally tangled after conditioning. I opted to blow dry my hair after washing this morning and am trying to decide what my regimen should be going forward.

Braid outs haven't worked well since the no-lye relaxer got my hair straighter than anticipated and I am still concerned about my hair's overall health given the amount of time I was styling and treating it with calcium build-up. Heat seems to be working best for now and I make a point of being careful I limit heat styling to once every one or two weeks and roller set in between. I'm especially interested in a no-heat regimen since my plan was to use braids. I am switching back to a lye relaxer probably Vitale or Motions. I welcome any suggestions for styling and care going forward as I would like to see my hair get back to waist length. Thanks for reading through my story, you ladies are the best.
Click to expand...

@MzSwift made absolutely excellent points concerning caring for your hair when it’s relaxed.

I never really liked that “freshly relaxed” feeling, because none of my products or techniques would work when even the slightest of buildup present.

Every relaxer session I dedicate at the most two days to fully make sure all of that heavy metal deposit is removed.

And like MzSwift I too have been considering blow drying a bit more, since an efficient and quicker wash day means less time spent with my hands in my hair, and less time having my hair go through manipulation. I’m also considering investing in the RevAir, because so far the reviews seem to boast decreased time spent drying, and more concentrated blow outs/stretching in place of using combs and brushes, and for that matter, using your hands as well.

I was natural through middle and high school, and the same issues I faced then, I also face now. Only difference is that I now am willing to sit and spend more time brainstorming solutions, and when I decide to transition back to natural hair, I’ll already have the tools needed to care for it in its natural state.

For the most part my hair behaves very very similarly to when I was natural. SSKs, crown fragility, tangling at the roots, and shed hairs getting stuck and causing knots. Only difference is that now it’s more fragile. It’s still baby fine, soft to the touch when properly moisturized, weighs down easily, needs light and consistent amounts of protein as well, and can’t handle even a moderate frequency of manipulation for prolonged periods of time, as it always done since being natural.

I’m a big advocate for technique over products, because you can have the most natural, hand picked, home grown, self mixed, or expensive products out there, if your technique or how you handle your hair is not up to your own hair’s standards, no amount of product will get you to longer hair.

I’m just now coming back from a setback I had most of last year, and now I’m onto to fixing the current issue I have. I don’t have all the answers, and by no means is my regimen perfect, but getting closer and closer to that personal and optimal solution to caring for my hair is always something I’m searching for, and it’s gotten me all the way to Classic Length hair currently. (Well mostly Classic, I have about an inch to go.)


I think it’s great you managed to catch the issue and go about fixing it. I love when I can get over milestone or problem and keep moving forward.
 
Last edited:
@PlanetCybertron @MzSwift :bighug:

Thank you both for the suggestions. The regimen not changing much because of texture makes sense. Like I should have been clarifying all along even without knowing about the calcium deposits, ah well. I'll look into the hot air brush and styles you suggested. I have been using heat more than planned and that worries me a bit, it was mainly because of the tangling I was dealing with. Any style that didn't involve straightening my hair completely left it horribly tangled regardless of how it may have looked. Fingers crossed, that's resolved now. Do either of you ladies have any links to styling tutorials on Youtube or just your favorite relaxed gurus?
 
a_g_doren said:
@PlanetCybertron @MzSwift :bighug:

Thank you both for the suggestions. The regimen not changing much because of texture makes sense. Like I should have been clarifying all along even without knowing about the calcium deposits, ah well. I'll look into the hot air brush and styles you suggested. I have been using heat more than planned and that worries me a bit, it was mainly because of the tangling I was dealing with. Any style that didn't involve straightening my hair completely left it horribly tangled regardless of how it may have looked. Fingers crossed, that's resolved now. Do either of you ladies have any links to styling tutorials on Youtube or just your favorite relaxed gurus?
Click to expand...

I honestly primarily use YT for PSing ideas. Since a lot of the relaxed YTers have been going natural or newly relaxed heads it's been hard to keep up with them. But I do like to watch older vids of the relaxed ladies sometimes.

I watch TheTabbi1. She cut her TBL hair to about APL a couple of years ago and she's almost grown her hair back. I believe she relaxes straight, no texlax. I also like BriannaLive. She has thick relaxed hair as well. But she, like a lot of them, expand their channels into fashion, nails, makeup, etc. I'm not really interested in the other stuff, just hair. Lol.

Oh! I also watch YT on mute so I have no idea how these women sound, if they curse or what type of music they play on their vids so I apologize in advance. I just use the closed caption feature. :blush2:

I just thought of another one: Hairlicious. She has a great blog too in addition to her YT. The other blog I used to love is Just Grow Already. Her hair was beautiful, there's a lot of good info on there. I believe she has gone natural though.
 
danysedai said:
One who does a no heat regimen with drool worthy hip length or longer relaxed hair is spicebeauty473 on Instagram. She considers her hair to be texlaxed but IMO it's leaning more towards a straighter result so it might be similar to yours. And her regimen is simple.

https://www.instagram.com/spicebeauty473/
Click to expand...


So lovely. See now, I don't even have an IG account but I might have to get one so that I can stalk. OMG! :drool:

And yeah, her hair looks straight under the running water. I think my hair would be easier to detangle if I relaxed straighter but my fine strands won't let me be great with bone straight hair :(
 
Hello Ladies!
I'm currently 15 weeks post! The hairloss treatments are working, I have a few more to go before I am free from the neddle. This week I plan to blow out my hair and rebraid it again in 2 weeks. The length is now 15-16". I've noticed that my growing phase has slowed down. If I can wait until mid August then I will start texlaxing again or go back natural.
 
Sanity said:
Hello Ladies!
I'm currently 15 weeks post! The hairloss treatments are working, I have a few more to go before I am free from the neddle. This week I plan to blow out my hair and rebraid it again in 2 weeks. The length is now 15-16". I've noticed that my growing phase has slowed down. If I can wait until mid August then I will start texlaxing again or go back natural.
Click to expand...

HUGS to you, sis. I hope the treatments are very successful for you!

You've got a lot of length already too. Even if you don't texlax, you could always just relax once or twice a year like some the LHCF old school heads used to. They were able to grow to long lengths using most of the year to maintain healthy hair and scalp.
 
I'm thinking about doing Ayurveda pastes biweekly as my deep conditioning treatments. The only thing I used to hate about doing them was that I went through the powders so quickly. I may cut to monthly until I figure out from where I want to buy my powders. I've actually been having luck with Amazon.
 
Hey ladies!

Just checking in!

I think I've finally made it to that boring part of my hair journey where I'm simply waiting for the length. I hate this part! Judging by my growth rate and length retention, I have to come to terms with doing heavy PS'ing for at least another 2 years. Yep, TWO YEEEAAARRRSSSSSSSS!

I'm not playing around. I was pretty much at MBL when I had my setback, so now I want to go hardcore and see how much hair I can get. I'm thinking TBL. :)

I've also gone back to my hair notes from ten years ago to make sure I'm doing exactly what I did before. Turns out I was a BEAST with my hair care back then! :lol: No wonder my hair got so long! I was missing few things, but I'm correcting that today.

Time to get back into total beast mode! :yep:

I hope y'all are doing well. I'll go back a few pages to catch up.
 
MzSwift said:
HUGS to you, sis. I hope the treatments are very successful for you!

You've got a lot of length already too. Even if you don't texlax, you could always just relax once or twice a year like some the LHCF old school heads used to. They were able to grow to long lengths using most of the year to maintain healthy hair and scalp.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much sis for your advice! When my hair was texlaxed in the past, It was much fuller and also had "weight". Observing everyone's progress encourages me on days when I want to shave my head. Hopefully I'll get back to my glory days.:boxing:
 
sunnieb said:
Hey ladies!

Just checking in!

I think I've finally made it to that boring part of my hair journey where I'm simply waiting for the length. I hate this part! Judging by my growth rate and length retention, I have to come to terms with doing heavy PS'ing for at least another 2 years. Yep, TWO YEEEAAARRRSSSSSSSS!

I'm not playing around. I was pretty much at MBL when I had my setback, so now I want to go hardcore and see how much hair I can get. I'm thinking TBL. :)

I've also gone back to my hair notes from ten years ago to make sure I'm doing exactly what I did before. Turns out I was a BEAST with my hair care back then! :lol: No wonder my hair got so long! I was missing few things, but I'm correcting that today.

Time to get back into total beast mode! :yep:

I hope y'all are doing well. I'll go back a few pages to catch up.
Click to expand...

When I was a kid and just discovering LHCF, I used to look up to you as my hair inspiration lol if you dont mind me asking, what caused your setback? You'll have long beautiful hair in no time!
@sunnieb
 
Divah97 said:
When I was a kid and just discovering LHCF, I used to look up to you as my hair inspiration lol if you dont mind me asking, what caused your setback? You'll have long beautiful hair in no time!
@sunnieb
Click to expand...

Thank you!

It's was extreme stress. My husband's health took a bad turn and my job was high stress on top of that.

Hair care and self care in general took a backseat and my hair paid the price.

Lesson learned. Always take care of yourself FIRST! :)
 
Relaxed my hair last night. I think it’s been 3 months since my last one? Somewhere around there.

I slept in my protein treatment, since I was exhausted by the time I got off work.

Rinsed this morning and sprayed some conditioner in my hair, sealed with Shea Butter Mix, and now I’m off to work.

Will update later
 
Relaxed yesterday, can’t seem to get past 8-9 weeks without breakage. Still working thru the breakage at the nape and sides from a couple months ago due to the extreme night sweats I deal with.
Otherwise my hair is healthy and is long enough to “hide” the breakage. I’ve also been using the ordinary brand hair density serum to help those problem areas and the hair is thickening up nicely.
I will make an attempt to get some box braids in the next six weeks.
 
Wenbev said:
Relaxed yesterday, can’t seem to get past 8-9 weeks without breakage. Still working thru the breakage at the nape and sides from a couple months ago due to the extreme night sweats I deal with.
Otherwise my hair is healthy and is long enough to “hide” the breakage. I’ve also been using the ordinary brand hair density serum to help those problem areas and the hair is thickening up nicely.
I will make an attempt to get some box braids in the next six weeks.
Click to expand...

Sounds you're doing the right thing -- listening to your hair. If you keep this up, I'm sure you'll see even more progress come the EOTY.

Sometimes our hair is like: Stretching? Whatchu mean Stretching? I ain't Stretching. Psshh. Stretching. I gotcho Stretching.
* walks away mumbling*
 
Last edited:
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