Hi everyone I'm hoping you ladies here can help me out. After 10+ years natural I decided to relax my hair. Wash day had become an all-day chore, styling my hair at the last minute for outings was impossible and in spite of actually accomplishing my goal of waist length hair shrinkage put my styles just below my shoulders. My hair was no fun, I couldn't enjoy the results of my hard work. So after some consideration, I decided to relax.
Prior to going natural, I'd never had a problem with relaxed hair --my hair is 4b/c and low porosity-- meaning my hair responded well to heat and could endure harsh treatments fairly well. In spite of that, I was always gentle with my relaxed hair and would usually do braids out when I was relaxed in the past. In spite of the condemnation of friends and family, last May I went to the beauty shop, purchased a no-lye relaxer kit and straightened my hair. Typically I touch up somewhere between 16 and 20 weeks though I am thinking of going longer. After relaxing I went to a beautician and had my hair cut back to bra-strap length. I was very happy.
At first, I had good results and experimented with blow-drying and flat ironing, roller sets and the occasional braid-out and tbh I love my relaxed hair. Wash day went down to a few hours and I could quickly and easily change my styles. Everything was going good however in the last six months I began to notice increased dryness, tangling and breakage especially after washing my hair was especially bad no matter what I did. This Sunday was the final straw. Thinking my problem was heat damage (even though that didn't quite make sense) I planned to wrap my hair after washing thinking a break from the heat would do the trick.
My hair was so dry and tangled after washing I had to slather on 3 leave-in conditioners, hair oil, and setting lotion to get my hair into a somewhat manageable state. From there I attempted to wrap my hair, found out I wasn't that good at wrapping and went about searching for answers online. Everywhere I looked I read about heat damage, chemical damage, split ends and cutting until a thread came up on this very forum talking about mineral build-up from no-lye relaxers.
After reading about no-lye relaxers and calcium build-up I knew I had the beginnings of an answer. I bought myself a bottle of Neutrogena no more residue clarifying shampoo and washed my hair this morning. For the first time in months, my hair was soft and minimally tangled after conditioning. I opted to blow dry my hair after washing this morning and am trying to decide what my regimen should be going forward.
Braid outs haven't worked well since the no-lye relaxer got my hair straighter than anticipated and I am still concerned about my hair's overall health given the amount of time I was styling and treating it with calcium build-up. Heat seems to be working best for now and I make a point of being careful I limit heat styling to once every one or two weeks and roller set in between. I'm especially interested in a no-heat regimen since my plan was to use braids. I am switching back to a lye relaxer probably Vitale or Motions. I welcome any suggestions for styling and care going forward as I would like to see my hair get back to waist length. Thanks for reading through my story, you ladies are the best.
@MzSwift made absolutely excellent points concerning caring for your hair when it’s relaxed.
I never really liked that “freshly relaxed” feeling, because none of my products or techniques would work when even the slightest of buildup present.
Every relaxer session I dedicate at the most two days to fully make sure all of that heavy metal deposit is removed.
And like MzSwift I too have been considering blow drying a bit more, since an efficient and quicker wash day means less time spent with my hands in my hair, and less time having my hair go through manipulation. I’m also considering investing in the RevAir, because so far the reviews seem to boast decreased time spent drying, and more concentrated blow outs/stretching in place of using combs and brushes, and for that matter, using your hands as well.
I was natural through middle and high school, and the same issues I faced then, I also face now. Only difference is that I now am willing to sit and spend more time brainstorming solutions, and when I decide to transition back to natural hair, I’ll already have the tools needed to care for it in its natural state.
For the most part my hair behaves very very similarly to when I was natural. SSKs, crown fragility, tangling at the roots, and shed hairs getting stuck and causing knots. Only difference is that now it’s more fragile. It’s still baby fine, soft to the touch when properly moisturized, weighs down easily, needs light and consistent amounts of protein as well, and can’t handle even a moderate frequency of manipulation for prolonged periods of time, as it always done since being natural.
I’m a big advocate for technique over products, because you can have the most natural, hand picked, home grown, self mixed, or expensive products out there, if your technique or how you handle your hair is not up to your own hair’s standards, no amount of product will get you to longer hair.
I’m just now coming back from a setback I had most of last year, and now I’m onto to fixing the current issue I have. I don’t have all the answers, and by no means is my regimen perfect, but getting closer and closer to that personal and optimal solution to caring for my hair is always something I’m searching for, and it’s gotten me all the way to Classic Length hair currently. (Well mostly Classic, I have about an inch to go.)
I think it’s great you managed to catch the issue and go about fixing it. I love when I can get over milestone or problem and keep moving forward.
No wonder my hair got so long! I was missing few things, but I'm correcting that today. 
