Relaxed Hair Thread

Today I have decided that I am tired of this hair journey. It seems like since I began focusing on my hair, my hair has been in worse shape (if that makes sense). I remember going to the salon every 6 weeks for a relaxer and maybe a trim. My hair was always between full SL and APL. It was healthy and had thickness. But now that I am trying to steam and use oils and stretch my relaxers my hair has been on a never ending rollercoaster.

I have been looking at pictures from the last two years and it is the same pattern. My hair will break off then grow back in a few months and then repeat. Maybe I am slacking on my hair care once it appears to be in good shape and then thats when things go bad. I know that long stretches do not work for my hair. But I will work on consistency this time. I will post my regimen later.

Is it just me or does this get old with you all as well?
 
klsjackson said:
Today I have decided that I am tired of this hair journey. It seems like since I began focusing on my hair, my hair has been in worse shape (if that makes sense). I remember going to the salon every 6 weeks for a relaxer and maybe a trim. My hair was always between full SL and APL. It was healthy and had thickness. But now that I am trying to steam and use oils and stretch my relaxers my hair has been on a never ending rollercoaster.

I have been looking at pictures from the last two years and it is the same pattern. My hair will break off then grow back in a few months and then repeat. Maybe I am slacking on my hair care once it appears to be in good shape and then thats when things go bad. I know that long stretches do not work for my hair. But I will work on consistency this time. I will post my regimen later.

Is it just me or does this get old with you all as well?
Click to expand...
Maybe your doing too much? And a watched pot never boils. I used to do prepoo, shampoo, conditioner, protein DC, moisture DC, tea rinse, oil rinse, leave in, moisturizer, and seal. And guess what? My hair hated me. So now I just shampoo, mix my protein and moisture DC together for one application, moisturize and seal. My hair is happy and behaving. Also fix your anemia. When I'm super anemic my head starts shedding and breaking like crazy. I've been consistently taking iron, folic acid, and multivitamin every single day along with at least 60 ounces of water. My hair seems to be shedding way less and seems to have got a little growth boost.
And try to ignore your hair a bit. I moisturize and seal maybe twice a week and put it in two braided pig tails. Then I ignore it and wear wigs. Less stress for me and my hair.
 
Royalq said:
Maybe your doing too much? And a watched pot never boils. I used to do prepoo, shampoo, conditioner, protein DC, moisture DC, tea rinse, oil rinse, leave in, moisturizer, and seal. And guess what? My hair hated me. So now I just shampoo, mix my protein and moisture DC together for one application, moisturize and seal. My hair is happy and behaving. Also fix your anemia. When I'm super anemic my head starts shedding and breaking like crazy. I've been consistently taking iron, folic acid, and multivitamin every single day along with at least 60 ounces of water. My hair seems to be shedding way less and seems to have got a little growth boost.
And try to ignore your hair a bit. I moisturize and seal maybe twice a week and put it in two braided pig tails. Then I ignore it and wear wigs. Less stress for me and my hair.
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@Royalq : Thanks for you reply!!! I agree doing too much can be harmful. I have paired down my regimen and I think the ORS relaxer just doesn’t agree with my hair. I was using the Affirm Fiberguard in Mild and ran out of it and decided to try the ORS.

I am working on improving my anemia. I take my vitamins and prescription iron tablets on time daily, I had been skipping doses due to my work schedule. So now, I take a dose before work and a dose right before bed and that seems to be working for me.

And keeping it simple sounds really good! I remember at one time I was mixing conditioner and DC on dry or damp hair prior to washaing and then doing my leave ins. My hair looked great. Think I will try that on the next wash day.
 
I’m 7 weeks post and noticing some breakage. :(
Decided to prepoo with olaplex no 3, washed out with joico blow bottle, two min with roux porosity control, 5 min with aphoghee 2 min reconstructor, and dc with briogeo don’t despair. Will use sachajuan leavein and tresseme heat protectant before tension blow and flat iron.
Went without heat for two weeks and saw breakage. I think my hair like heat. Sigh.
 
abioni said:
Pic of the result. I did a better job getting it straight this time. Hair was slight damp. Ignore my ugly dress jammies.
I need a trim, I plan to do that in December.

View attachment 436549
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Looking good!

Honestly, I've given up on my ends. I trim it when I wear my hair in my custom ten braids.

I've been wearing my hair in buns for weeks. Days go by when I only tend to my hairline and scarf it down for the night.
 
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klsjackson said:
Today I have decided that I am tired of this hair journey. It seems like since I began focusing on my hair, my hair has been in worse shape (if that makes sense). I remember going to the salon every 6 weeks for a relaxer and maybe a trim. My hair was always between full SL and APL. It was healthy and had thickness. But now that I am trying to steam and use oils and stretch my relaxers my hair has been on a never ending rollercoaster.

I have been looking at pictures from the last two years and it is the same pattern. My hair will break off then grow back in a few months and then repeat. Maybe I am slacking on my hair care once it appears to be in good shape and then thats when things go bad. I know that long stretches do not work for my hair. But I will work on consistency this time. I will post my regimen later.

Is it just me or does this get old with you all as well?
Click to expand...
I hear you girl and feel your pain. I remember getting my hair relaxed every 6-8 weeks, color two weeks after, Dominican wash and a roller set EVERY Friday and my hair was healthy, thick and no breakage. And they never used a heat protectant or serum!!
I have never bought as much products and growth aids and oils and ish in my life now that I’m doing my own hair.
Recently, I decided after I get thru all these dang products there will be one shampoo, dc, protein, wash out condish and leavein. That’s it. I’m done spending money on products. And I’m not going past 10 weeks! Lol
 
klsjackson said:
Today I have decided that I am tired of this hair journey. It seems like since I began focusing on my hair, my hair has been in worse shape (if that makes sense). I remember going to the salon every 6 weeks for a relaxer and maybe a trim. My hair was always between full SL and APL. It was healthy and had thickness. But now that I am trying to steam and use oils and stretch my relaxers my hair has been on a never ending rollercoaster.

I have been looking at pictures from the last two years and it is the same pattern. My hair will break off then grow back in a few months and then repeat. Maybe I am slacking on my hair care once it appears to be in good shape and then thats when things go bad. I know that long stretches do not work for my hair. But I will work on consistency this time. I will post my regimen later.

Is it just me or does this get old with you all as well?
Click to expand...

Definitely not just you.

Matter of fact I had a decent pout session today before work, concerning my hair. Part of me thinks I might have hit terminal length, other part of me says, something is still going to have change if I want to get passed this certain phase in my hair journey.

It’s been about 2 months now and I’ve consistently had SSKs, that grab chunks worth of hair and I’ve been having to sit there and separate 100s of strands. I’ve been doing this, and that, changing something here and there, and it’s more or less irritating and tiring.

Went to measure and I’m only now just back to 33 inches. I take a length photo and I see absolutely no changes. Maybe it’s stress? Idk. But I’m willing to bet since I’ve never had hair this long, I’m still not an expert or even close to having a tried and true regimen for hair this long. My ability to become lazy and not ever do anything with my hair is probably what’s gotten me to this length, but my hair is telling me that something’s gotta give, or I’m going to be stuck for who knows how long. While I’m pouting about length, I’ve come to realize my thickness has been flourishing from month to month, and the thinning spot I have is like non existent, versus when it was dry it was still extremely noticeable. So I guess I can stop complaining lol.

As far as stretching goes, I’m honestly glad I threw the notion of months worth of stretching out the window at the beginning of this year. My hair has so many SSKs even after a fresh relaxer, and being detangled, I can only imagine the frustration of having to deal with SSKs, AND months worth of new growth.

I’m doing enough to maintain at TBL, but if I even want to see Classic, I have to revise a regimen suited for Classic.

Maybe it’s still figuring stuff out? Again, I’m definitely no expert, but sometimes my regimen will deviate even from day to day, just by adding or taking away little things. Maybe it could be that?

But I definitely understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes I ponder cutting off my entire head of hair. Like all of it. To like a pixie back when I was in highschool.
 
PlanetCybertron said:
Definitely not just you.

Matter of fact I had a decent pout session today before work, concerning my hair. Part of me thinks I might have hit terminal length, other part of me says, something is still going to have change if I want to get passed this certain phase in my hair journey.

It’s been about 2 months now and I’ve consistently had SSKs, that grab chunks worth of hair and I’ve been having to sit there and separate 100s of strands. I’ve been doing this, and that, changing something here and there, and it’s more or less irritating and tiring.

Went to measure and I’m only now just back to 33 inches. I take a length photo and I see absolutely no changes. Maybe it’s stress? Idk. But I’m willing to bet since I’ve never had hair this long, I’m still not an expert or even close to having a tried and true regimen for hair this long. My ability to become lazy and not ever do anything with my hair is probably what’s gotten me to this length, but my hair is telling me that something’s gotta give, or I’m going to be stuck for who knows how long. While I’m pouting about length, I’ve come to realize my thickness has been flourishing from month to month, and the thinning spot I have is like non existent, versus when it was dry it was still extremely noticeable. So I guess I can stop complaining lol.

As far as stretching goes, I’m honestly glad I threw the notion of months worth of stretching out the window at the beginning of this year. My hair has so many SSKs even after a fresh relaxer, and being detangled, I can only imagine the frustration of having to deal with SSKs, AND months worth of new growth.

I’m doing enough to maintain at TBL, but if I even want to see Classic, I have to revise a regimen suited for Classic.

Maybe it’s still figuring stuff out? Again, I’m definitely no expert, but sometimes my regimen will deviate even from day to day, just by adding or taking away little things. Maybe it could be that?

But I definitely understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes I ponder cutting off my entire head of hair. Like all of it. To like a pixie back when I was in highschool.
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@PlanetCybertron : Yes ma’am!!! I definitely feel your pain and pout session, LOL. I have decided no more long stretches 9 weeks will be my max. No more cheap products. I will stick with Affirm. There are some Sally’s products and a few BBS that I love, but when it comes to relaxer, shampoo or DC it will definitely be Affirm products only.

It’s kinda like makeup for me. I will use LA Girl concealer, but honey my foundation has to be MAC or Bobbi Brown
 
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klsjackson said:
@PlanetCybertron : Yes ma’am!!! I definitely feel your pain and pout session, LOL. I have decided not more long stretches 9 weeks will be my max. No more cheap products. I will stick with Affirm. There are some Sally’s products and a few BBS that I love, but when it comes to relaxer, shampoo or DC it will definitely be Affirm products only.

It’s kinda like makeup for me. I will use LA Girl concealer, but honey my foundation has to be MAC or Bobbi Brown
Click to expand...

I’m glad you’re feeling better about stuff. Weird how hair is so emotionally important for us lol. Well, not weird, just interesting to think about.

Lol as far as makeup goes, my face prefers nothing on it to be honest lol. But Marc Jacobs does my face very well. Winky Lux has some killer liquid matte primer and foundation, too but I like Marc Jacobs More so than any other foundation. Their primer helps me from looking like I smeared butter all over my face since I have an unnecessary amount of oily skin. Like at the end of the day I can wipe the oil off of my face and moisturize my hands with it lol.

So as I get older I just opt to not wear makeup that much since I’m so far gone on the not caring end of the spectrum lol.
 
@klsjackson I agree with the points made about anemia. Years ago when my anemia went unchecked I had a very abnormal amount of shedding (I believe it triggered telogen effluvium), and my hair texture actually grew in dry and brittle; there was no product that could solve my breakage and shedding issues. I HAD to get my anemia under control first.

Even when you get the anemia under control and your levels go back up, it will take time for your body to recover and produce healthy hair. Talking to your doctor about a long-term iron supplement maintenance plan may help. Hang in there ((hugs)). In addition to supplementing with iron, Biotin has helped me tremendously.

Now my reggie is super simple, I have products that I swear by and I rarely experiment. I use 4 products each wash day (less if it's a co-wash day): Shampoo, DC, leave-in, and serum. It's boring but my hair loves it.
 
nymane said:
@klsjackson I agree with the points made about anemia. Years ago when my anemia went unchecked I had a very abnormal amount of shedding (I believe it triggered telogen effluvium), and my hair texture actually grew in dry and brittle; there was no product that could solve my breakage and shedding issues. I HAD to get my anemia under control first.

Even when you get the anemia under control and your levels go back up, it will take time for your body to recover and produce healthy hair. Talking to your doctor about a long-term iron supplement maintenance plan may help. Hang in there ((hugs)). In addition to supplementing with iron, Biotin has helped me tremendously.

Now my reggie is super simple, I have products that I swear by and I rarely experiment. I use 4 products each wash day (less if it's a co-wash day): Shampoo, DC, leave-in, and serum. It's boring but my hair loves it.
Click to expand...
That is so true!! I bought so many products because nothing was working. It was horrible. Products I used for years did not work. Relaxers didnt even take and my hair had a weird texture for about a year after my first major episode. It took that and a few more major symptoms for my dr to put me on a regimen for anemia. This last episode was two-fold. My anemia and then trying to texlax. My hair broke severely at the line of demarcation. So its like all the hard work I put in for that last year is just gone. But I am positive that I can turn things around again. I found some of my old hair journals and when you said biotin a bell with off!!! I used to take biotin faithfully and stopped about 3 months ago. I will definitely start back.
 
For those who suffer with anaemia, as well as taking the iron (admittedly I don't anymore) you really need a good intake of greens. I drink two spinach and kale smoothies every day and my hair has more or less recovered. I lost so much of it, and couldn't understand why :nono:

I'm totally with folks who are on the less is more thing; bar pre-pooing I can wash and DC within an hour and be done. I've stopped fussing over my hair and doing 102918 things to it; I can no longer be bothered!

On another note I need to trim or just give my ends a light dust. I will straighten next weekend and do it then.
 
1- So I've learned these past 2.5 weeks that straight hair is too much work and stress for me. Lol. I'm so concerned about trying to keep it straight that I don't feel like I'm properly moisturizing it. Also, I don't have the time, energy or desire to manipulate my hair so much in order to wrap it at night. Even cross wrapping did not do the trick.

2- My hair loves water! So I put it back into mini braids last night and I feel so much better. Now I can just spray my moisturizing spray mix on at night and throw on a bonnet. I can also freely cowash or cleanse and DC without worrying about overmanipulation since there's no detangling involved. They're so easy to maintain. I can cowash and either throw them in a ponytail/bun or leave them down. I don't worry about them rubbing against my clothes. For some reason the braids help protect my strands. Between those and cornrows/wigs, I was able to grow my hair to WL.

3- I have no desire to wear my hair down and straight until it's at least mostly WL. I'm far too worried about the damage to my strands and whether or not I can properly moisturize it. And I don't feel like it's worth the stress until it's longer. Lol. My hair just doesn't feel long to me until it's reached WL because I had been in MBL land for so long. :(

4- No more long stretches until my hair is longer. I plan to stay between 12-16 week stretches. Once it gets longer, I'll reassess.

5- I have got to lose weight! It's to the point where I don't even feel comfortable sharing hair pix because my back rolls, fat arms, etc. are out of control! SMH. I don't even feel or see it in my daily life, but the camera is my real friend who tells me the truth. Lol
 
@MzSwift I agree with everything you said. :yep:

Back in the day, I had no idea what to do with my hair so I went to the salon every month for a relaxer. :nono: I gave up trying to keep my hair straight years ago when I stopped using direct heat. Now, just let me newgrowth pop in and it does what it does. :lol:

On the flip side, I've learned that super long stretching isn't the best for my hair and lifestyle either.

That's why I relax every 8 weeks for now. I plan to up that to every 10 weeks when I get back to BSL. But no more than that.
 
@ItsMeLilLucky I'm glad anemia is being discussed.

I have an iron deficiency and totally fell off taking care of myself last year. Didn't even go to the doctor for the whole year. I remember being extremely tired all the time. That was another factor contributing to my hair loss. I had zero energy to deal with my hair.

Stay on top of your health ladies!

Eta: corrected health thing to be more generic. Not ready to share alladat just yet. .
 
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11228 said:
I am grateful for this thread. I am struggling with relaxing in about 2 weeks putting me in the 9/10 range and feeling a little guilty. Reading the last few pages have alleviated that quilt.

Relaxer day coming up!

Oh, I need a good serum. Any rec's?
Click to expand...

Are you particular about cones? Do you prefer serums that don’t have them?

No guilt! Do what’s comfy for you sis.
 
11228 said:
I don't mind cons. I would rather not but micromanaging my haircare doesn't work for me. My hair thrives when I am less particular
Click to expand...

I’ve been using Garnier Moroccan Argan oil serum for like 2 years now. Love that stuff. It’s a bit heavy But I like it for being able to seal, much like an oil does.

There’s a serum at Sephora called Verb Ghost Oil. It’s a bit drying, but could be worth a try.

There’s always Chi Silk Infusion. Pretty tried and true at least for me.

John Freida Frizz Ease serum (purple bottle)

Biosilk Silk Infusion (Walmart). This brand in particular has b-panthenol, and some sort of hydrolyzed protein in it. Does a good job of giving some strength and smoothing hair, but for whatever reason the hairs where my bangs are were experiencing too much protein and they would constantly be rough after wash day due to that serum stuff. But if it works for others, then it works. My ends loved that stuff though.

Paul Mitchell Super Skinny serum (lime green top). I like this stuff for daily sealing, because it’s light enough for repeated use, without that eventual build up feel. Only downside I can find with that product is that it’s selective on which products it wants to play nice with. My hair felt weird when I tried to apply the serum over anything concerning Aussie that I used prior to. But other than that it’s a decent serum.

I have more, but those are just a few you might be interested in.

Hands down the BEST serum I’ve ever used was this thing called KEIHL’s. Here’s a photo
via Imgflip Meme Generator

I bought this during highschool when I straightened my hair a lot. I got mine from Nordstrom’s, but it’s available at Sephora or online as well. This has cyclopentasiloxane, which is a lighter version of dimethicone, so the build up rate is noticeably slower, and it’s a light lighter than serum with silicones or dimethicones, for what it’s worth.

That’s my favorite one that I’d suggest to others.
 
sunnieb said:
@11228 no guilt allowed! We're here for you! :grouphug2:
Click to expand...

I am learning to, after the beginning of my hair journey, to be less restrictive in my haircare. I will obviously follow the universal good practices but I won't set a regime that I have to follow religiously.

I'll wash my hair when I have time and it needs washing not because I have to do it every Tuesday. I won't use protein every other wash unless I need it etc. Just let my hair needs inform my decision making
 
I can’t do this anymore ladies. My relaxed hair is so high maintenance. It’s like a second job. It needs to be flat ironed every week or blow dried at the very least (can’t do the wet look my ends mat up) so much heat and I can feel my hair snapping off some times when I comb it or run my fingers through it. My natural hair bores me but at least it was chill as heck. Even if I got depressed and neglected it, one DC and some TLC on wash day and it was as good as new. I’m going back to natural. Transitioning slowly this time. I think I’ll just have fun with color (I’ve colored my natural hair before and it’s still very low maintaince) if I want straight hair I’ll go get a silk press or blow dry it and curl it with a curling iron. Sorry ladies I couldn’t hang like y’all lol. Happy growing!
 
L.Brown1114 said:
I can’t do this anymore ladies. My relaxed hair is so high maintenance. It’s like a second job. It needs to be flat ironed every week or blow dried at the very least (can’t do the wet look my ends mat up) so much heat and I can feel my hair snapping off some times when I comb it or run my fingers through it. My natural hair bores me but at least it was chill as heck. Even if I got depressed and neglected it, one DC and some TLC on wash day and it was as good as new. I’m going back to natural. Transitioning slowly this time. I think I’ll just have fun with color (I’ve colored my natural hair before and it’s still very low maintaince) if I want straight hair I’ll go get a silk press or blow dry it and curl it with a curling iron. Sorry ladies I couldn’t hang like y’all lol. Happy growing!
Click to expand...

Aww, good luck to you on your transition!
:bighug:
 
L.Brown1114 said:
I can’t do this anymore ladies. My relaxed hair is so high maintenance. It’s like a second job. It needs to be flat ironed every week or blow dried at the very least (can’t do the wet look my ends mat up) so much heat and I can feel my hair snapping off some times when I comb it or run my fingers through it. My natural hair bores me but at least it was chill as heck. Even if I got depressed and neglected it, one DC and some TLC on wash day and it was as good as new. I’m going back to natural. Transitioning slowly this time. I think I’ll just have fun with color (I’ve colored my natural hair before and it’s still very low maintaince) if I want straight hair I’ll go get a silk press or blow dry it and curl it with a curling iron. Sorry ladies I couldn’t hang like y’all lol. Happy growing!
Click to expand...

Good luck!

I relax my hair to avoid heat. I don't have to apply it because my hair is stretched!
 
Just an update: I am so unhappy with my hair. But thebodd thing is I have gotten several compliments on it. It may look nice, but I know how it should really look. I am having to comb it a certain way to hid the breakage.

I spoke with a dr and of course my iron is low and this breakage is basically from me not taking my iron and vitamins like I was supposed to so several months ago.

The only thing that will correct this is time and taking my medication like I should. My hair was shedding quite a bit before I relaxed, but I just thtought it was from the change in weather. Evidently, the hair was going to shed anyway but applying the relaxer (chemical) sped things up.

Normally I just get shedding which makes my hair look thinner, but this time I have breakage as well. Dr said the breakage is from the anemia not the relaxer. However, for me it will be a long time before I relax again. At least six months. I don’t like long stretches but I have my iron levels checked before I relax again.
 
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